Chapter 15

Mom's Spaghetti

Zeke's vision came back online after what seemed like forever. Dying was never really cool or exciting, just a really horrifying and weird nap. His hearing came back as his body slowly pulled itself back together. It just so happened that he landed next to his other half when he split on the tree. A vivid image in his mind as he saw the tree go by but felt his legs rip off. It was absolutely terrible, but Zeke didn't mind. That happened more often than not, but he usually didn't die right away.

"Ugh… fuck me…" Zeke groaned as he rolled over so his body could properly fix itself. His regenerative speed was severely weakened by Brain's magic. It may take some time before he could be ready to fight again.

"Hellvent! Are you alright?" a guy asked as he rushed over to Zeke's side. Zeke looked up at the man with a curious expression.

"Who the fuck are you?" Zeke asked. The boy chuckled and lowered a hand to Zeke.

"I'm Hibiki Lates of Blue Pegasus. I'm pretty honored to meet you Mister Hellvent. You're legendary as the mercenary Deathtrap." Hibiki said as Zeke shook his hand. His body reformed itself, allowing him to stand properly. His other senses returned as well, making his coordination return.

"Yeah… that was before I became a Fairy Tail member. I guess I'm still 'Deathtrap' in a sense, but he was a murderer. I'm Zeke, a happy go lucky village idiot." Zeke said as he stood up and cracked his knuckles. He stretched his shoulders and glanced around, noticing the yellow monitor and Erza lying helplessly on the ground. Her arm was badly poisoned.

"Shit. Looks like that fake Dragon Slayer got her real bad. Also, what the fuck is that?" Zeke asked, walking over to the monitor. Hibiki rushed over to the monitor.

"This is my Archive magic. It lets me use magic to communicate, track, and coordinate with other wizards. I'm tracking everyone right now as they pursue the Oración Seis." Hibiki explained. Zeke inspected the device before turning his attention to Erza.

"I can heal her…" Zeke muttered as he kneeled down next to Erza. She seemed to be unconscious as she writhed in pain. Zeke leaned down next to her ear.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Zeke shouted into Erza's ear. She yelped and woke up, staring at Zeke with fury and fear.

"Z-Zeke!? Ah…" Erza winced and held her arm. Zeke summoned his bluish-green magma and held it up next to Erza.

"Erza, this is my Gods Magma. It's a type of magma used by the God of Magma and Tectonics, Hellions. I think I'm his champion, making me a God Slayer, I think." Zeke explained with a thoughtful expression. Erza stared at him in shock.

"What? What does that mean?" Erza wondered. Zeke shrugged.

"Dunno. I think Maximus Cyprus is a Dragon Slayer and God Slayer combo like me. I know Adam Phoenix is going to be a Dragon Slayer and Demon Slayer combo. Knight's just a bitch and I think that kid Xavier is a Dragon." Zeke said absentmindedly. Erza continued to stare at him with a mix of shock and confusion.

"So… can you use God Slaying magic?" Erza wondered. Hibiki stared at Zeke with wonder and confusion as well.

"Dunno. Anyway, this magma can heal your wound, but you owe me something in return." Zeke said with a straight face. Erza blinked at him and then glared at him.

"Really!? Why!? Why can't you just be nice…?" Erza trailed off as her wound seared and she writhed in pain. Zeke quickly slapped his magma on the wound and the poison vanished. Erza blinked as she stopped writhing and looked down at her arm.

"There. Now, since you were kind enough to offer me a chance to date you, now you owe me a kiss at the end of the date. Got it?" Zeke said as he stood up and cracked his back. Erza stared at him, shocked. She was stunned in place. Zeke grinned at her and turned towards where he could hear the sounds of battle.

"Now then, I'm going to go cut Brain's dick off. GOTTA GO FAST!" Zeke yelled, bolting down the trail. He left a dumbstruck Erza and a slightly awed and jealous Hibiki.

"He got a date with you, but not me?"

"Shut up."

Zeke dove off the cliff at the end of the road and whipped out his swords. He landed with a thunderous crack as his regenerative abilities… regenerated and he could land properly without breaking anything. His Solid Eye glowed through the dust as he looked up and glared at the multitude of Dark Guild members employed by the Seis.

"Hello. My name is Zeke, but you might know me as Deathtrap." Zeke said with a wicked grin as his name spread fear through the Dark Guild ranks. Zeke charged them and started swinging his blades through their ranks, cutting them down at random and dodging attacks thrown his way. He leaped over them and continued on his path, following his nose.

I smell you bastards like a dog smells shit. But I'm not a dog, I'm a fucking Dragon God Slayer, motherfucker. Zeke thought as he weaved through the woods, slashing through any Dark Guild members he came across. He heated himself and burned through a huge tree into a clearing where he leaped over a sprinting Racer. The man skidded to a stop and eyed Zeke as he landed.

"Wassup, bitch? What's wrong? Someone punch you in the balls?" Zeke asked with a grin as Racer growled at him. He glanced to the side and saw Gray running onto the scene with Lyon, the man from Galuna Island.

"Zeke? I thought you… oh, right. My bad." Gray said as he slowed next to Zeke. Lyon stood a good distance away from Zeke, though.

"Um, wasn't he dead?" Lyon asked with a terrified expression. Gray nodded.

"Yeah, he comes back though." Gray said. Lyon was still unconvinced and took a step back when Zeke smiled at him. Gray sighed and grabbed Zeke's revolver and shot him in the face. Lyon screamed in horror as Zeke's face blew apart. Zeke glared at Gray with what was left of his eye as he sheathed his swords and took the revolver back. He reloaded the expended round and holstered the weapon. His face repaired itself all the while, giving Lyon even more of a shock. Racer was even a little disgusted and surprised.

"Ta-da. Fuck you, Gray. You know that hurts, right? Not just physically, but you hurt me emotionally. I thought you were my friend who would never hurt me, but here you go, shooting me with my own gun." Zeke said with a façade of being upset. He held a hand over his heart and put his hand on Gray's shoulder.

"I loved you, Gray… But now, I can't. I just can't…" Zeke sighed as he wiped a tear from his eye. Gray knocked his hand off.

"Quit, you weirdo!" Gray yelled, glaring at Zeke as Lyon and Racer watched on with confusion. Zeke chuckled and started walking away.

"I'm sure you two ice skaters can handle this. You know, I bet you guys are really gay, like Victor and Yuri kind of gay." Zeke said, walking backwards with a wink and finger guns directed at the ice wizards. They glared at him and were about to respond when he interrupted them.

"I'M GONNA BANG YOUR MASTER, TOO! HAVE FUN, FAGGOTS!" Zeke yelled, sprinting into the forest again.

"FUCK YOU, ZEKE!" Gray yelled after him.

"UR IS GONNA FUCK ME! SO THAT'S COVERED ALREADY! THANKS THOUGH!" Zeke laughed from the flaming trail he was leaving with his superheated body. He heard another yell as he ran deeper into the forest and chuckled to himself.

You can handle him, Gray. I know you can… but I seriously think he's gay for Lyon. Seems legit. Zeke thought as he vanished into the beyond.

Zeke came to a skidding halt as he discovered a waterfall-ridden cove at the edge of the forest. He scanned the area and set his Solid Eye to a zoom function. He noticed a cavern near the edge of the marsh in the center of the cove and grinned.

"So easy to find… are you retarded Brain? Did you think you stopped me?" Zeke wondered as he set his Solid Eye back to normal and stuck his hand in his belt. He stopped when he heard a scratching noise on the tree behind him. He ducked and rolled to the side, turning to face his foe as he pulled his revolver from its holster and cocked the hammer back. At the other end of Zeke's firearm was a shadowy woman from the look of her outline. A long, pale, thicc, and sexy leg extended into the sunlight. Zeke pinched his nose as the woman stepped into the light.

"Hi Zeke… remember me?" the woman asked in a seductive tone of voice. She was a very beautiful woman with an extremely voluptuous figure. She had long, silvery hair extending towards the ground. She winked at Zeke with her deep purple eyes and her thin black dress blew in the breeze. Her dress had an extremely deep V shape in it, exposing her enormous cleavage and most of her toned stomach. The dress also split on either side, showing off most of her milky white thighs. This woman was quite the sight for Zeke to behold, but he knew better than to give in and stick it in.

"Luna… did the Seis hire you to try and fight me? Don't you remember what Maximus did to your hot, juicy ass when you attacked him? His Solar Dragon Slaying Magic is nothing compared to my magma." Zeke said, taking his time to admire the extremely sexualized and seductive woman before him.

"Oh, I remember. But I have a not-so-secret weapon I can use on you. It didn't work on stingy old Maximus… but you… you just love a gorgeous woman, don't you?" Luna asked as she slid her hand under her dress's V and lifted it slightly. Zeke's eye widened and he managed to glare at her face and ignore her as she pulled her dress to the sides, exposing her breasts to the wind. Uncontained, her breasts were starting to draw him in.

SHIT! TITS! GODDAMN ME AND MY LOVE FOR TITS! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Zeke screamed in thought. His knees became weak, his palms, sweaty. Mom's spaghetti was about to be on his nonexistent sweater already.

.

Wait, you don't have a mom.

"You know what, Wolfgang? Fuck you."

Fuck me? Fuck ME!? Oh, no. Fuck you.

"Just fucking help me! YOU MADE MAX'S RIVAL TOO DAMN HOT!"

Oops… HA! FUCK YOU!

"Goddammit, Author!"

.

Zeke growled as he tried to remain steady. He was trying his hardest to ignore the fact that Luna was licking her lips as she rolled her breasts around in her hands and made them jiggle.

"C'mon Zeke… I know you want to touch them… suck them…" Luna smiled seductively as Zeke slowly lowered his revolver, his perverted instinct kicking in. He tried to fight the urge, but she seemed to be seducing him.

"My tits are bigger and I'll let you play with them as much as you want if you knock this bitch out." Zeya's voice said suddenly from within Zeke's mind. He stopped for a moment as the Lava Spirit's breasts appeared in his mind. He looked at Luna's chest for a moment before grinning and raising his revolver again.

"I've got a bigger pair back home." Zeke said as he pulled the trigger. Luna reacted almost immediately and dodged into the woods as Zeke's gunshot hit the tree she was leaning against. He holstered his revolver and took off after her, following her obscene figure as her underwear-less butt was exposed as she ran. Zeke enjoyed the view for a moment.

"My ass is also bigger. You can eat my ass out if you want." Zeya said. Zeke nearly tripped as he perused the woman through the forest.

That sounds… awesome. I'm going to fuck you after I derail on Ur and cum-blast her tits. You better not be lying to me. Zeke responded as he easily caught up with Luna and she jumped, skidding to a stop in a clearing. She quickly stuffed her breasts back into her dress as she realized Zeke was focused on another woman entirely.

"As long as you defeat her, you can cum inside of my ass and do anything else to me. She just pissed me off last time she beat you by using her body. I hate it. I'm rewarding you with my body, there's a difference." Zeya explained with a growl. Zeke grinned wildly as his resolve and dick hardened.

"Oh fuck yes."

.

.

.

Boom. That's it for now. I'm going to do a double upload on this because of something I'll explain later. Thanks for reading this, I really love this story.

See you next time on, Deathtrap!