A/N: This was originally written for the 2015 SSHG_Promptfest over on LiveJournal. This is my first attempt at writing comedy, so please tell me if it makes you laugh (or anything else you think) by leaving a review.

A quick note so this first chapter makes more sense: The three Norns, Verdandi, Urd, and Skuld, are the three "Fates" of Norwegian Mythology. I've borrowed them to help Severus.

Thank you to my wonderful beta team, AdelaideArcher and MelodyLePetit.

Threads of Fates

Chapter 1: Witch, Weave, Wear

Severus Snape stepped confidently down Diagon Alley, his ever-present black robes billowing behind him in the wind created by his long strides. There were no long glances or whispers over the appearance of the so-called "Hero Spy" now; the war was eight years past, attentions long ago diverted to other things.

It was only just November, and already Severus's students had managed to explode a cauldron and singe his robes beyond repair; he'd been forced to use a precious Saturday to come to the wizarding shopping street in search of a new set.

Striding along to Madam Malkin's, Severus cut a path through the crowd with his imposing form when a new shop caught his steely black eyes. A sign with large curling letters exclaimed it was Norns's Fine Magical Apparel. In smaller block print beneath the name, it stated 'Improve Your Life with the Best in Wizarding Attire.'

The subtitle was asinine, but there was a particularly handsome set of dark robes in the window, and so Severus diverted his path and stepped through the door, a tiny bell tinkling his arrival as he entered the shop.

Three witches greeted him in harmony: one with black hair, brilliant blue eyes, and a muscular look, the other two appearing to be sisters, blonde with pale grey eyes and willowy bodies.

"Hello, Professor Snape," said the dark-haired woman, smiling at him. He'd never met her before, but her knowledge of his name did not surprise him—it was an unfortunate consequence of being a war hero and teaching at Hogwarts for a quarter of a century.

"I am looking for a set of teaching robes," said Severus, getting right to the point. "The ones in the window, are they for sale?"

"Oh, yes, those would do well for you," said one of the blonde women, her voice like running water.

"These robes you have on now, they have done you no favours," said a soft voice, like a faint winter's breeze, and Severus was startled to find it coming from the other blonde woman standing next to him; he could have sworn she was still across the room.

Glaring at the quiet witch as she sent a measuring tape snaking over his body, he snapped, "They have performed as they should."

"Yes, but it's time for a change, is it not?" said the watery-voiced sister.

"If you mean to dress me in something bright or frilly, I will leave now," said Severus, standing tall as a measuring tape lay itself across his shoulders. "I wear black."

"Of course, you are who you are," said the same witch, "but I'm sure we can make a few tweaks that would suit you."

"What exactly did you have in mind?" asked Severus.

"You could use some more weight on you," said the dark-haired witch.

"I am here for robes, not comments on my appearance," said Severus smoothly. It was true he was rather thin, but he had always been that way and he saw no need to change it now.

"He looks tired, wouldn't you say, Urd?" the watery-voiced witch asked her quiet sister.

"I don't think he has slept well for a very long time, Verdandi" said Urd, rolling up the measuring tape with a flick of her wand.

"What exactly do my sleeping habits have to do with robes?" said Severus with a scowl. He was very close to leaving the shop and going to Madam Malkin's; she, at least, dressed him in silence.

The black-haired witch held up a set of black robes like the ones in the window: the fabric was a fine wool, smooth against his fingers as he took it from her. The stitching looked impeccable, tight and even at the seams. There was even a soft green lining on the inside of the neck and wrists; no one would see it, but it would add comfort.

"The changing room is over there," said Urd. Severus nodded and stepped into the small curtained room, quickly divesting himself of his current robes and donning the new ones.

However strange they might be, the three women were excellent seamstresses; the robes felt exquisite against his skin, and he wondered if there was some sort of Softening Charm on the inside of the fabric.

He stepped out into the main room once more and stood on a pedestal in front of a mirror in the centre of the room.

"Oh yes, those do suit you well," said Verdandi. "Don't you think, Skuld?"

"I agree," said the black-haired witch. Given their names and the two blondes' appearance, he thought the witches must be of Scandinavian descent.

Severus scrutinised himself in the mirror in front of him, and had to agree with the women: the robes were cut in just the right places to accentuate his lithe frame, pulling attention to his strong shoulders and narrow hips. His face was nothing to be proud of, but his body, at least, he was pleased with.

"They seem adequate," said Severus.

"We also have some lovely new dress robe designs," said Urd.

"I have no need for dress robes," said Severus.

"No ladies you wish to take out?" asked Skuld.

"If you do not stop asking personal questions I shall go elsewhere," Snape snapped.

"There is one," Urd breathed beside him, nearly making him jump. He scowled at the witch once more; there was something very unnerving about her.

"What did you say?" he asked.

Urd did not reply, but sent knowing glances to Verdandi and Skuld, as if passing along important information.

"I would like to purchase these," said Severus, feeling anxious to leave.

"There is one more addition that I think would be welcome," said Skuld.

"And what is that?" asked Severus in a low voice.

The witch waved her wand in a fluid movement, and Severus felt the tingle of magic. He looked into the mirror to find narrow swirls of silver embroidery had been added around the collar and cuffs. The change was subtle, but he had to admit it did add a certain elegance to the look.

"Yes, yes, you look like a changed man already," said Verdandi with a smile.

"How much?" asked Severus.

"One hundred galleons," said Skuld.

"Ridiculous," said Severus, shocked at the price, but knowing already he would pay it. He'd never had a pair of robes fit him so well or feel as comfortable.

"Oh, these are no ordinary robes, Professor Snape," said Verdandi.

"I weave the fabric by hand," said Urd.

"I sew them," said Verdandi.

"And I add the details and charms," said Skuld.

"Very well," said Severus. He summoned his old robes from the floor, transferring his belongings to his new robes (they even had additional pockets!), leaving his coin purse in his hand so he could pay.

His new garment bought and paid for, he shrunk his old robes and shoved them and his purse into his pocket.

"Enjoy and live well, Professor Snape," said the three witches in unison.

Severus nodded his head at their strange goodbye, and exited the shop.

He had no idea that his new set of robes was about to change his life.