A Ship Worth Sailing
After the events of the Blood Moon Ball, Marco had just finished making his homemade nachos. "Star, they're ready!" Marco called out.
Star rushed downstairs, now in her night gown, and stuffed a handful of nacho and cheese in her mouth. "Thanks, Marco." Star said, well tried to while chewing.
Marco laughed a bit and they both sat down on the couch to watch some T.V.
A few moments later, Star thought about what happened before, about Marco sneaking into the party and angering Tom. "Hey Marco."
Marco looked at Star. "Yeah?"
"How'd you get to the ball anyway?"
"Oh." Marco took out the small bell. "You left this behind."
Star took the bell and threw it out the window. "Well I won't be needing that anytime soon." Star sat down next to Marco, thinking of something else. "So Marco …. What were you doing before you decide to crash the already boring party?"
Marco looked at his friend. "Well … I was kind of being bum about you going. I was just sitting in your room talking to myself. Sounds a bit selfish of me, huh?"
"Awwww." Star thought about how miserable Marco would have looked.
"But then I heard this painting talking."
"Hm?" Star looked at Marco in a curious cute way.
"It was a painting of a captain of a ship talking about that Blood Moon Ball. Something about the blood moon being for rubber or something?"
Star's eyes sparkled and immediately squealed. "He's awake!" Star jolted up the steps, spilling her nachos over Marco.
"Star?" asked Marco right before Star unexpectedly landed next to him, holding the painting of the captain.
"Marco!" Star shoved the painting in his face. "Meet Captain Barnacles!"
Marco move away and looked at the painting. "…Hi?"
Without moving, the painting spoke. "Good evening, land lubber."
Marco was a bit shocked, but not too much, since he's used to magic by now. "Wow, a talking painting."
"Surprised?" asked Star.
"Nope. I'm cool with it." Marco said with a smile.
"Well here's a shocker!" Star hugged the painting. "Captain Barnacles is my grandpa!"
Marco's eyes bulged out. "You're WHAT?!"
"I'm the girl's grandpappy." Captain Barnacles said.
"It's true! He's my grandpa from my mother side." Star said happily.
"…..So was your mother adopted."
"Not true." said Captain Barnacles. "My blood runs through her and her mother's veins."
One of Marco's lower eye lid moved up, coving half an eye. "But … but … how's that possible!?"
"Let me tell you the tale of how I met Star's beautiful Grandmother. You see, when a salty old seaman like myself found the most beautiful land lubber this side of the sea, we-"
"Wait, wait, wait! Stop!" shouted Marco. "I do not think I want to hear this."
"What?" asked Star. "But it's so romantic and magical. And that ending! I don't understand what happened, but then-"
Marco quickly covered his ears. "La la la la!"
The painting was silent for a moment. "Boy …. This has nothing to do with scramble eggs and hornet stings."
"Marco's eyes opened up and he slowly removed the pillows. "Oh ….. continue sir. Please?"
"Very well."
"It all started when I was finding a fine vessel for me crew mates."
Captain Barnacles was being carried by a monkey as he and the rest of his crew was on the docks looking for a boat to buy.
"We came across the perfect boat that I have ever laid me eyes on. And not to mention the one selling it."
The crew met the blonde woman standing near the boat, looking very similar to Star. "Hello-y. Kind sirs. Looking for a boat."
Captain Barnacles gave the girl the usual blank stare. "Aye. But tell us what makes this boat so right for me crew?"
"I'm glad you ask." She spun around and pointed to all the details. "It got cannons, lasers, narwhals, candy, and automatic shields for safety.
"Safety you say?" asked Captain Barnacles.
"Aye, I may be a captain that sails deadly seas every moment of me life, but deep down I'm always concern for my crew safety,"
Macro really felt relatable to Captain Barnacles. "Wow, back at my school, I'm labeled as the Safe Kid. Wish I wasn't."
"And Grandma sounds a lot like me!" Star smiled, feeling proud of her heritage.
"Argh. Wait till you hear the rest of my tale."
"So what's your name, masterpiece?" asked the woman.
"I am known by my crew as Captain Barnacles." The monkey made the painting bow. "But you may call me …. Captain Barnacles."
"Uuuh. Well my name is Sweet Buttercup. A magical peasant from this dimension." Then she took out a flamethrower and caught one of the crew mates on fire."
"Go Grandma!" cheered Star.
"I'm not finished yet!"
"But as we mingled, a great unknown evil entered our world with an army of monsters."
Down the docks, a certain short monster with a beak and cowskull hat pointed at the two. "There they are, Star Butterfly's grandparents!" exclaimed Ludo.
"Uhhhh, boss?" asked one of the monsters. "Why did we time travel again?"
"You idiot!" Ludo shouted as he jumped up. "I already told you ten times! We're going to stop the birth of that teenager so I can take the wand for myself!"
"But wouldn't that cause a rift in space and time, causing our worlds to be sucked into the void where nothing shall exist? Or cause a plot hole?"
"I'm the boss and I say we're breaking the rules of reality!"
Ludo ordered his monsters to charge right at them. Captain Barnacles and the others noticed the upcoming threat. "Argh, why it isn't be some monster. Men, charge!"
The crew members drew out their sword swords and charged at the monsters, only to all be eaten by a giant sea mudskipper.
"…..Ugh. Get in da boat ma'am!" So Sweet, Captain Barnacles, and the monkey sailed away, far from Ludo and his monsters.
"No, no!" shouted Ludo. "They're getting away! Why aren't you going after them?!"
Some of the monsters looked at each other. "Well … that."
Ludo looked ahead and saw the giant mudskipper crawling towards them.
"Oh, that. Well my next order is EVERY MONSTER FOR MYSELF!" They all ran back into the portal to their dimension before the mudskipper could get his chance at desert.
Back on the boat; Captain Barnacles was mourning the loss of his crewmates. "Me mates. I'll never see them again."
Sweet Buttercup placed her hand on his frame. "There there, you still have something."
The eyes of Barnacles did nothing. "Yer be right about that. Monkey." Monkey kneeled down. "Will you do the honor of becoming my wife … boat?"
The boat said nothing.
"Argh, you made me the happiest-"
"Wait, wait, wait, WHAT?!" shouted Marco. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"What, you got a problem with me wife and Star's grandma?"
Marco just stared at the painting as Star got a little mad.
"Yeah, it looks like you don't like it when paintings and boats fall in love."
Marco glanced at the both of them. "Hold on, you're saying that you, a painting, married a boat. A boat? And both of you had a human, I repeat, HUMAN child?"
"That is me story."
"Both my grandma's were awesome!" said Star.
"Now hold on there, Star!" Marco turned his head slowly to his best friend. "Both? You mean that both that girl and the B.O.A.T. are your grandmas?"
"Yep." Star nodded. "Sweet Buttercup shrieked in joy after Barnacles here proposed to my boat grandma and jumped overboard, that's when she met my jellyfish prince of Mewni granddaddy."
Marco felt his brain melting. "… So ….. that wasn't what I was expecting."
"Well what now, Marco? Wanna refund?" asked Star.
"I'm just gonna lie down." Marco collapsed onto the couch.
Star placed a blanket over Marco and patted him on the head. "Nighty night, Marco. Hope you don't crash any more parties."
"Speaking of parties…." Star looked at her grandpa painting. "I should tell you what would happen if you and that devil Tom were both under the glow of the Blood Moon light."
Back in h.e. double hockey sticks, Tom finally thawed out from being frozen, with his anger. "That …. Skinless-faced punk stole my dance!" His eyes turned blank white as flames spewed from the floor. "And I don't want the bunny now!" Tom shot fire at his anger management coach. "I'll find that boy and trap him with the flames of the darn! Then I'll win back Star and-"
Then Star Butterfly kicked the door down, with nothing but primal rage in her eyes. "YOU WERE GOING TO HYPNOTIZE ME TO BE YOUR BRIDE!"
Tom's anger swiftly changed to fear as he gulped. "Star, I was uh." Then the demon was bombarded with every single sharp object from every world that have ever existed.
The End
A/N: I have nothing against Starco, I just wanted to have a little random fun.
And if you want to write an actual love fanfic about Star and Marco listening to a story of how two people very similar to them fall in love, by all means go right ahead.