Arthur was sure Merlin broke just from yelling out those cursed words.

She's dead.

He could see it now, the pain. The agony Merlin hid from them as he went each day like it was totally normal. For a minute, Arthur had to sympathize with the boy. He knew what it was like, to lose one you loved. Of course, his father didn't seem to compare to Merlin's Freya, and Arthur's chest burned as he tried to catch his breath. Merlin seemed to crumple into Gwaine's arms, his own tiny body heaving as he regained what little breath he could.

She was dead.

And the only way, Arthur realized, Merlin could remember her was through a scar. A kiss, if you would, that would forever be branded on Merlin's skin of the short time they had together. Everyone was silent now, saved for Merlin's ragged sobs as he finally let his emotions take over. Arthur carefully pried Percival's hands from his arms, silently ambling towards his servant. Gwaine was giving him a wary look, he could feel the drunkard's eyes boring into him, but he ignored it.

She was dead. And from the sound of it, it was Arthur's fault.

"M-Merlin, I'm sorry…." Arthur tried, his words seizing in his throat.

"I think it's a little too late for that, Sire," Merlin nearly spit out the word, "so let's just forget this whole thing and I can finish the dishes and you can all go for your swim-" Arthur jumped back as Merlin hastily pushed himself up, grabbing the dishes and broken shards. The knights were silent, eyeing their prince.

Arthur knew what they wanted. They wanted him to say something, anything to make this right. To bring back the happy Merlin they all knew. But what could he say? He had already tried apologizing, but his efforts were rebuffed.

If Merlin wasn't going to take his apology, then Arthur wouldn't bother trying to give it.

"Alright, well, just don't cut yourself on the glass," Arthur called, keeping his voice level, cool. Merlin was a servant, and he was a prince. There was no way a prince would apologize to a servant. It just wasn't how things were done- and besides, it really was Merlin's fault. Getting involved with a druid girl? Really?

"Idiot," Arthur murmured, shaking his head at Merlin's receding back, shocked by Gwaine and Leon's disapproving smirks. "What? I'm the prince. He should know better than to have done such a thing."

"Doesn't matter, mate," Gwaine shuddered, "prince or not, Merlin is grieving as best he can. You blowing up just because the girl happened to be a druid is unacceptable, no matter who the outburst is from." Arthur blew raspberries at their backs as they turned to go, leaving him with only Elyan, Gwen and Percival for company.

"Arthur," Gwen's voice was a hushed whisper, and she entwined her fingers in his, "I think you should apologize to Merli-"

"And why should I? He was involved with sorcery, Guinevere!"

Arthur felt his heart skip a beat at the dreaded word. He hated even thinking about it, but when you're prince of a kingdom that banned magic, it was difficult. Every other day seemed to be an attack from bandits, and if it wasn't a bandit who was out for his blood, it was a sorcerer. And the sorcerers he met were never nice people.

And then Merlin, his manservant, went and fell in love with a druid! And a man-eating beast, no less! It made him wonder why he kept Merlin on staff, aside from the cheery banter and terrible jokes as his breakfast was served late and slightly cold each morning. No, Arthur decided, that sorcery was evil. And if it had managed to reach Merlin, then he must be enchanted.

It was the only explanation as to why he would be so upset over the death of a druid, anyway.

"Arthur, please," Gwen pleaded, "he loved her. The least you could do is apologize." Arthur swung their arms as they began walking back towards the picnic, Percival hovering nearby as Elyan and leon decided to go on ahead.

"I'm the prince, Gwen, if anyone is apologizing, it should be him."

Gwen uttered possibly one of the nastiest swears the prince had ever heard anyone use in his life. It was so vile coming from her pretty lips that his skin broke out in gooseflesh, he felt the prickle of shock run up his spine.

"What was that?!" Arthur demanded, eyebrows flying up his forehead in astonishment.

"Honestly, Arthur, I love you, you know I do," Gwen assured him, "But Merlin is my friend. He has done so much for us both, and I really think you're being unfair towards him-"

"He was consorting with a druid or did you not hear me?!" Arthur repeated, his throat sore as he yelled once more. Honestly, what was it with his friends today? Did they all decide to sit in a circle and share what secrets might ruin the prince's life?

"That doesn't matter, Arthur," Gwen admonished gruffly, crossing her arms, "just please reconsider."

Arthur rolled his eyes. As if he would do such a thing. How many times did one have to be told that magic was evil?

"He was angry with you too, you know," Arthur reminded her, and he cracked a grin at her blush, the way her curls shook as she mumbled to herself, trying to reassure herself that it would all be okay, that Merlin would hopefully forgive her….

"That was entirely my fault, I shouldn't have said anything," Gwen agreed, "but do think about it? For me?" Arthur was fairly sure she was trying to guilt him into it, with her big brown eyes and pouting mouth. Sighing, the prince nodded. Of course, he would do it for Gwen- and only Gwen.

"Alright," Arthur agreed, "but if I get attacked by her vengeful spirit or something-"

"Arthur! Just go!" Gwen punched his arm, Arthur covering the wince with a jerk of his shoulders. The pain laced up his arm and into the crook of his shoulder as he made his way back to the camp to find the knights sitting together, across from Merlin. The boy had his head down, his mouth moving to indescribable words. If that made sense. He couldn't hear Merlin speaking, just sitting there, his eyes closed.

Weird.

Arthur cleared his throat, "So if we're done playing tea party, Merlin, would you care to tell me what's upsetting you?"

Merlin's head snapped up and Arthur took a step back, mouth agape. The anger in his eyes, the mere… pain alone was enough to chill anyone to the bone. It was so uncharacteristically hostile, Arthur couldn't believe he was capable of such a thing. Rolling his shoulders, Merlin cocked his head.

"But whatever gave you such an idea?" he feigned innocence, and Arthur thought he could hear Gwaine squeal, scuttling behind Percival as if in need of protection. Priss, Arthur thought, turning his attention back to Merlin. His face captured the perfect picture of innocence, but his eyes were storm clouds, volatile and deep.

"Come on, Merlin, don't be such a-"

"Girl?" Merlin finished for him, "An idiot?"

Arthur blew a raspberry. This was not going as well as Guinevere lead him to believe, "Merlin sto-"

"Or," Merlin raised a finger towards the sky, adding, "your favorite, a girl's petticoat?"

Arthur groaned, hands clenching into fists. He knew Merlin was upset. He knew that by this reaction, it really wasn't helping anyone. But what else was he to do? Sit and listen? Yes, yes you are, his thought tried reprimanding him, but Arthur ignored that, his anger swirling inside his chest, bubbling up his throat.

And then he said it.

"If you aren't going to let me listen, I may as well toss you in the dungeons for treason, then! Is that what you want?!"

The look of anger and betrayal was immediately replaced with one of sadness, Merlin smiling softly, eyes downcast. Hints of tears dotted the servant's eyes, and Arthur mentally kicked himself.

"Never mind, Merlin, just…" Arthur trailed, unable to find the suitable words. Merlin shook his head, his chin catching his chest. Arthur thought it was weird, seeing Merlin without his neckerchief. But then he remembered the boy had dropped it by the lake. Hopefully Gwen or one of the knights had picked it up.

"Well," Merlin sighed, his breath wobbling, "if I die in the dungeons, I'll be able to see Freya again. Maybe Balinor too."

Arthur screwed up his face- was he talking about the Dragonlord? That didn't make sense!

"Why are you acting like this?" Arthur sighed, plopping himself down next to Gwaine, who simply looked at Merlin with unease, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Sorry," Merlin replied, "let's just go back, yeah?"

Gwen finally joined them, crossing her arms when she saw the group huddled like newborn puppies, unaware of their surroundings. Shaking her head, she squeezed Merlin's shoulder, wrapping him in a hug as she sat down.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," she announced, giving Arthur a pointed glare, "I was out of turn when I told them about Freya. Can you forgive me?"

Merlin cracked a smile and Arthur rolled his eyes. Of course he would forgive Gwen. Everyone liked her, and she was probably the nicest person to walk the Earth, always looking out for others wellbeing and things like that. A proper human being.

But what did that make him? He struggled to notice the opinions and feelings of others, lest it have some pertinence to himself. In a way, Arthur knew he was like his father, somewhat uncaring unless he was able to reap benefits.

"Of course, Gwen," Merlin was quiet as he returned the hug, and he could feel Percival bring a stare into his back.

This was not going to be easy, Arthur decided as he coughed into his fist.