Please see next chapter for author's note!

It's kind of funny, really, you know, the way life can totally be awesome and amazing one second, and then completely suck the next second. When Leonard told me about the chick he made out with the summer he was gone on the ship...I wasn't shocked or whatever. Leonard's already proven in the past that he's not the most faithful of boyfriends. It's rather ironic, actually, since he's constantly worried about me cheating on him, which I would obviously never do. Now that I think about it, he's a pretty big dillhole sometimes. And yet, somehow I find myself sitting shotgun in a car he's driving to Vegas so we can get married in the middle of the night. Hmm...there's definitely something wrong with this picture.

The car is eerily silent now. I know Leonard's thinking about how massively he messed up our plans this evening. I'm pondering what I want to do now. I was so stoked about finally marrying him and starting our new life together, but now I find myself questioning our entire relationship. What else is he hiding from me? Did he do more than just kiss that girl on the ship? Has he really waited almost an entire two years to tell me about it? I just can't believe it. Honestly, it's not even the kiss that bothers me that much. It's the fact that all these years, Leonard has been such a dick about me even having a conversation with a man, and yet I can't trust him to be away from me for a long period of time without something like this happening. The more I think about it, the madder I get. I mean, really, who does he think he is?

I know I just told Leonard to keep driving, but now I'm pondering all my other options. He keeps looking over at me, maybe expecting me to tell him everything's okay, or possibly waiting for me to have a temper tantrum. I won't satisfy him with either one of those things. I will say nothing, because right now? Right now, I feel nothing.

We're getting closer to Vegas. And while it is actually one of my favorite places in the world, I suddenly have no urge to be there. And if nothing else, I always go with my gut.

"Turn around," I finally say. "Turn around the car; let's go home."

Leonard's face totally changes. It goes from relieved but nervous to completely devastated. It's not my intention to make him feel this way-I do love the guy, after all-but he's the one who felt like he needed to cleanse his soul or something by telling me what he did. He's opened the floodgates of the many reasons why we shouldn't get married; why I was always so hesitant to marry him in the past. In a way, it's a relief. I want to be with a man who can eat ice cream without gastrointestinal distress, is that too much to ask?

"Penny, come on, let's talk about it. You really want to end this because of a kiss? That's so unfair!" It's so like Leonard to just totally miss the point.

"No, it's not because of a kiss, Leonard. It's about trust. It's about your insecurities and how you're always so worried about me being faithful when it's you who can't behave yourself when you've had too much to drink. It's how you snore at night in bed. It's about your relationship with your mother and how that relates to me. It's how you eat pizza." I'm really getting worked up now. How have I not seen all these things before? Am—was—I so blindly in love with him that I managed to look past most of his faults? Well, that's over now. I'm done.

"What's wrong with the way I eat pizza?!" Leonard exclaims.

"With a fork? Like, who does that?" I can't believe I used to think it was endearing, of all things.

"Civilized people! I'm already taking a risk by eating the pizza in the first place, can I at least eat it on my own terms?"

Well, this is a ridiculous fight. "It's not the damn pizza, Leonard. It's you and it's me and it's the problems we've always had. The kiss was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Now turn this car around or don't, but if you don't, once we get to Vegas, I'm hitching a ride with the first person who volunteers."

Leonard looks conflicted, like he's trying to decide if I'm serious or not. Ultimately, I know he's going to do the right thing. He's not a bad guy. He's just not the guy for me, and I'm so glad to finally realize this.

Sure enough, at the next exit, Leonard puts on his turn signal and exits, does a U-Turn, and gets back on the highway going back to Los Angeles. For some reason, this makes me a little sad. It's really over. We are not getting married.

Leonard is quiet. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, because I know he has plenty of things to say. Finally he says, "So that's it? One kiss and you're not going to fight for us? Nine years and this is what it takes to end it?"

I mean, he kind of has a point, but it's not black and white like that. It's all the little things, and it's nothing. But it just feels wrong, and I don't know how to explain it in a way that will satisfy Leonard. He'll want facts and scientific data to back up all my claims, but I don't work that way. I rely more on my feelings, and that's always been one of our biggest problems.

"Fight for us? I've fought for us for years," I say, trying to stay strong. "I've tried convincing myself that we were meant for each other, when really, all we had in common was sex, a love of Quentin Tarantino movies, and living across the hall. That's not enough for a lifetime, Leonard, I'm sorry. I need more. You kissing that girl tells me that you know something's not right about this, either. So, yeah, this is what it takes to end it." It's kind of brutal, but it's true.

I'm not going to tell you that I have the last word, because there is still a 3 hour drive back home to sit in the car and argue. We throw our worst at each other, apologize, cry, and even stop on the side of the highway to make out for a few minutes, but by the time we get home, it's over. I'm devastated and hurt and angry, but mostly relieved. This is the right thing to do. We both need to stop using each other as safety nets and find our own paths.

When we get back to the apartment, we sit in the car for a few minutes, contemplating the journey we've just been on. Then we climb the stairs wearily and don't bother saying good night or good bye. It's 6:00 in the morning. I take off my make-up, brush my teeth, curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.

I'm so groggy when I do eventually wake up. I wonder why I have this throbbing headache for a second, and then it hits me like a train-Leonard and I broke up last night. Oh, man. It hurts in every possible way. So I don't even bother looking at my phone; I don't want to talk to anyone until I've had proper time to get the worst of this desperate sadness out of me. I have a whole afternoon (since it was past noon before I could make myself roll out of bed) of feeling sorry for myself planned. This entails: ice cream, wine, and a whole season of Sex and the City.

Somewhere around dinner time, I decide enough is enough. I get up from the floor, throw the two (okay, three) empty bottles of wine away, and take a shower. A long one. After I get out and put some clothes on to try to resemble a functioning human, I finally check my phone to see if Leonard has tried to call. He hasn't. I wonder what he's been doing today. And then I realize I don't particularly care. That's the freedom of break-ups.

I do, however, have a text from Amy, from last night.

P - I broke up with Sheldon. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but I just couldn't stand it anymore. Please call me ASAP! - A

Oh, man, I am the worst bestie. This is bad. Very, very bad. I immediately call Amy and apologize over and over again for not calling her sooner. I don't mention my news-only one break-up at a time for now. Amy assures me it's okay. She actually sounds...happy.

"It's really fine," Amy says after I apologize for the tenth time. "This will be good for us. Well, for me, actually. I love Sheldon, and I know he loves me, too. But I need more from him. He can't make out with me for longer than three minutes without bringing up some dumb TV show. I have needs too, Penny!"

"Of course you do, Ames," I say. She's a lot more patient than I am. She's been with Sheldon for five years and he's barely made it out of puberty yet. "You deserve someone who can focus on you, and you only."

Look, I love Sheldon, he's one of my best friends. But as Amy has been finding out for a long time, he is a crappy boyfriend. Amy gave it her best shot, and Sheldon's been doing so much better, but ultimately...I don't blame her for calling it off. Every girl has their breaking point. As I know all too well. I kind of want to tell Amy about my news, but she has enough to deal with right now.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" Amy asks.

"Of course. What do you need?"

"Can you go check on Sheldon, please? And text me later to tell me how he's doing. I just...need to know."

Ugh, that potentially means I have to see Leonard again tonight, and that sucks. But Amy hardly ever asks me for anything, and she's having a bad night.

"Yeah, I'll go do that now," I say. Amy thanks me and sighs.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Amy says sadly.

"Good idea. It'll get easier, Amy, I promise." Actually, it probably won't get easier. It'll probably be a lot harder. For both of us. I remember the last time Leonard and I broke up-I never got over it. The circumstances are different now, though. The stakes are higher. I mean, we were one car ride away from getting married, for crying out loud.

Amy and I hang up and I sit motionless on my couch for a minute. I have to go across the hall and risk seeing Leonard and I really don't want to. But I do want to see Sheldon, actually. I care about him, and even if he can be an emotional robot, I know he loves Amy. I have no idea what kind of Sheldon I'll encounter when I go in there, though. Well, I guess it's time to find out.

I take a deep breath, exhale, and march across the hall. The door's unlocked, so I take a chance and go on in. Thankfully Leonard's not in the living room. Sheldon, however, is. And he's staring blankly at the TV, which is not even on. Uh-oh.

I sit down next to Sheldon. I want to take his hand, but I know how he feels about unnecessary contact.

"Sheldon?" I say softly. He finally turns to me and seems to come back to Earth for the moment.

"Penny. Hello."

"Hi, honey. Listen, is Leonard around?"

"He's spending the night at Raj's. Apparently he doesn't want to be anywhere in the radius of you tonight. I take it that means you two did not get married."

I nod. "That's right. It's... complicated."

Sheldon scoffs. "Penny, I'm going to receive the Nobel Prize in physics someday. That's difficult. That's complicated. Relationships are not complicated."

"Oh, yeah? What are they, then?" I ask, curious to hear what he has to say on the subject.

Sheldon actually looks stumped. "Hmm, that is a good question, Penny. I've never given it much thought, I suppose. While I did enjoy Amy's company and our make-out sessions and date nights, I mostly saw our relationship as a... burden."

I am surprised to hear him say this.

"Wow, Sheldon, that's really how you see Amy? You've literally been with her for five years, and that's how you summarize your time together?" I know Sheldon pretty well at this point, and I'm not fooled by this casual dismissive thing he's pulling on me. I just want him to maybe admit that he's taking this break-up harder than it appears.

Sheldon shrugs. "It was fine while it lasted. A fascinating experimented I conducted on the nature of relationships from beginning to end."

"Interesting," I say. "And that's your entire perspective on the situation? You don't have any other feelings about it?"

"I'm not a hippie, Penny-of course I don't have any other feelings about it. You keep asking me these questions; what kind of answer would satisfy you?"

A true answer, I think to myself, but I'm also kind of wondering why it matters so much to me. If Sheldon wants to be in denial, let him be. it's not really my problem. Except... for some reason, I want to get to the candy-coated center of his genius-covered heart.

"I don't know, Moonpie, I just think you should let yourself be sad. Amy was in your life for a long time and it's okay to be sad and angry and every other emotion you hardly ever let yourself feel."

Sheldon rolls his eyes and doesn't answer. I'm a little frustrated; usually I am so good in these kinds of situations. My friends in high school would always come to me for relationship advice. I know Sheldon isn't like most people, but surely he has some kind of pain buried deep inside of him somewhere.

I sigh, and get up to pace around the apartment. Sheldon watches me go back and forth, and we're at some kind of weird standstill. In the kitchen, I get myself a bottle water out of the refrigerator, take the cap off, and I'm about to take a sip when something catches my eye. Oh...em...gee. That is not what I think it is! Is it?

I rush over to Sheldon's desk and I halfway expect him to try to beat me to it, but he's not moving. He watches with interest as I look at the shiny object on his desk by his computer. It's a ring. A beautiful ring. An engagement ring! Wow.

I place the ring back on his desk and walk slowly back to the couch, where Sheldon has not moved an inch. "Sheldon... were you going to propose to Amy tonight?"

Sheldon nods slowly.

"And you didn't get to because Amy broke up with you first?"

Sheldon nods again. Oh, my goodness. If Amy knew Sheldon was going to ask her to marry him, she would have exploded. Like, total spontaneous combustion. This is crazy.

I take his hand. He doesn't even cringe like he usually does. Progress.

"Sweetie, this is kind of huge."

"Let me assure you, this is not huge," Sheldon says, but he's looking more and more devastated as the seconds pass by. "The planet is huge. Space is huge. Proposing is not huge."

"Well, when you put it that way, of course it's not," I say patiently. "Look, you can probably still propose to her, and soon. She'll get over this, Sheldon. Amy loves you and you love her. I'm sure this is a temporary set-back and you'll get back together before you know it."

As I say this, something inside of me just plain hurts—and it's not just because I feel bad for Amy and what she's missing out on. To tell you the truth—oh, this is so embarrassing—ever since Sheldon and I did that test to see if we could fall in love, something's been… off with me. I've been seeing him in a different light. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not "in love" with him or whatever, but it's something. A crush, perhaps, which is ridiculous; I haven't had a crush since high school! But I'm starting to notice all the things I dig about him. He has so many quirks and I've always tried to embrace them instead of judge them (much), but these days, I am finding them just plain endearing. Maybe that's another good reason why I didn't want to marry Leonard. Subconsciously, I just want someone else. It's that simple.

Of course, I would never act on it. Amy is my best friend, and there's no way I'd do that to her. Probably. And besides, like I said, he would be a terrible boyfriend. I'm used to a certain kind of intimacy that would be very hard for him, and on the other side, he would be quite impatient with my lack of academic intelligence. It would not be a good fit. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. Pondering it, if you will.

Sheldon shrugs. "Perhaps. But I'm not sure I want to renew my relationship agreement with Amy Farrah Fowler, to be quite honest."

"But... you were just about to propose to her, Sheldon. Now you don't even want to be in a relationship?"

Sheldon nods slowly. "I have had several hours to review the events of this evening, and I have come to a conclusion. I believe that I bought the ring simply because Amy was mad at me and I wanted her not to be. On further reflection, Amy has been eager to take our relationship in a direction I'm not comfortable with, and actually, am quite relieved that I don't have to engage in it anymore."

Oh, wow. I feel a sudden wave of sadness for Amy. I am sure this is not what she had in mind when she wanted "a break."

I lightly touch Sheldon's knee. He doesn't react, so I don't move it. "I understand, sweetie. Relationships are hard. We're probably both better off alone. You know, I've always thought we have similar commitment issues that Leonard and Amy never truly understood about us."

"Yes, now that you mention it... over the years, I have often felt that you and I have a peer bond that I don't have with anyone else, nor want with anyone else." Sheldon looks deep in thought. "In fact, although you don't have many of the qualities that Amy possesses, you have different ones that I have come to depend on and appreciate."

Oof. That ache is back. Sometimes-not all the time, but sometimes-Sheldon has the ability to surprise me. And I'm not easily surprised.

"I know what you mean, actually," I say, my heart beating rapidly. Hell, while we're sharing... "I've come to think of you as my best friend, but maybe it goes deeper than that."

You know, it's refreshing to actually be honest. To not dance around these feelings that possibly we both have. Of course, we've both had one of the worst nights of our lives, so maybe we're not thinking clearly. But right now, none of that matters. I can only see what's right in front of me-what's been in front of me for nearly nine years.

"Penny, I admit I'm not the smartest person when it comes to relationships, and I am definitely not as adept in the art of intimacy as you are, but I think... I think I would like to participate in romantic activities with you."

I smile. "Sheldon, are you talking about dating me?"

Sheldon nods. "Yes, I do believe that is what I want to do."

"You know we'd just be rebounds for each other, right? I mean, that's what everyone will say, anyway."

"I am not particularly familiar with that term, and I am also aware that we will cause quite a stir in our peer group. But if you will agree to this... experiment of sorts, then I do not care what anyone else thinks."

I am not surprised he thinks of this as an experiment, because that's what it would be. I have no idea what we'd be like as a couple. It might be a disaster! But I am so utterly heartbroken and lost that this seems like the best idea the two of us can come up with right now.

"Let's do it," I say. "I mean, yes, it's crazy and impulsive but we owe it to ourselves to at least explore the possibility, right?"

Sheldon already looks confused. Oh, this is going to be an adventure.

"I don't know if I owe myself anything, but I suppose you're right, Penny-this is rather impulsive of us. And to make it even more so..."

To my surprise, Sheldon scoots closer to me, and suddenly he's kissing me. I'd be lying if I said this was shocking, because I somewhat expected it and kind of really wanted it, but it's still a hell of a ride. I'm kissing Sheldon! He's kissing me! He's not a bad kisser, either. He could use some help with his technique, but Amy has taught him well. Oh, god, Amy! I try my hardest to put her out of my mind. She's the one who wanted the break. That's a flimsy excuse and I know it, but yet... I just can't stop this train from coming.

When we part, I say, "Wow, that was… good. But I should go. Let's just press pause and not get to all the good stuff in the first night, okay?"

"Good thinking," He says. "I'll see you tomorrow, I presume?"

"Um, yes, let's do that," I say nervously for some reason. "See you tomorrow." Because I have no willpower and can't help myself, I kiss him again. I know Sheldon is a virgin and I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but I can't help but want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. A little dramatic, but that's how I feel. Hopefully it'll wear off after a good night's sleep, because feeling like this is not good for my sanity.

I pull away reluctantly, smile at him, and get out of the apartment and into my own before I do something stupid. Well, that ship has sailed-something more stupid. Things are changing, and I have no idea if I've just made the biggest mistake or best decision of my life.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost -