Spring, Awakened

Part 1: Denial

"Repress the natural and it comes back even stronger."
― Philippe Lejeune

Despite the high altitude of the mountain range, the harbingers of Spring had arrived early on Kukuroo Mountain this year. The air was already heavily scented with floral promise, and the melody of a forest awakening from a wintry slumber was punctuated by the soft coos of songbirds to their nestlings. The sun peeked bashfully over the tip of the neighboring mountain before slowly spilling his light into every crevice of the valley, banishing the shadows cast by night.

The glorious dawn did nothing to thaw the vice of glacial despair currently squeezing Killua Zoldyck's heart. The young assassin was perched silently atop the roof of the Zoldyck estate, empty candy wrappers strewn about carelessly. He reached for another sweet in his back pocket; finding none, he began mindlessly twirling a yo-yo in a futile effort to avoid thinking about his current quandary.

From birth, Killua had known he would present as Alpha; every Zoldyck did, after all. The Zoldycks were a self-selecting bloodline who considered themselves among the apex predators of humankind. Even the prospect of mating for a Zoldyck was an exhaustively selective affair. Though the practice was more common for Alpha-Omega pairs, only the finest alpha "breeding stock" culled from the affluent underground families of the world were considered as worthy mates for the Zoldyck heir. Parents haggled viciously for months over dowry-price, small nations were purchased and traded, contracts signed, and the marriage bond was made. From such an illustrious line of thoroughbreds, being born alpha was simply a birthright.

Killua had been late in presenting his second gender, however; years of rigorous preparation for the life of an assassin was the most likely culprit. His mother and brothers had often been overzealous in their efforts to groom him as the future head of the Zoldyck family. The prolonged exposure to electricity, Killua figured, had somehow prevented his pituitary gland from producing the sexual hormones to induce his first rut. It hadn't helped that his body's Nen receptors had been forced open before they were ready, either. His later choice to convert his Nen into electrical energy had further dulled his body's efforts to reach sexual maturity. Killua could have cared less. His family already insisted on controlling his life; the last thing he needed was to present and suddenly have to begin a long and arduous courtship of money-hungry Alpha females looking to be the next mother to the Zoldyck heir.

He'd only ever had eyes for one person, anyways, though he would have gladly suffered months of torture before admitting it to any member of his family.

Gon Freecs.

From the moment he looked up from his skateboard to meet those wide, bright amber eyes, Killua knew. As he deftly flipped up his skateboard to continue the remainder of the Hunter exam on foot, he knew. Of course he would finish the first task by running alongside Gon. He would have gladly run to the ends of the earth with this one.

Gon had been late in reaching sexual maturity as well, though Killua often fantasized that his friend would present as omega. He'd kept that fact to himself, though, until they visited Gon's Aunt Mito-san on Whale Island. Killua had avidly watched his friend's facial reactions as they listened to the audio recording left by Gon's father. That night, as they tried to fall asleep in Gon's bed (Killua had offered to take the floor, but Gon wouldn't hear of it), Killua hesitantly broached the subject. "Gon? You awake?"

"Yeah, I can't sleep," came the sigh.

"Me either," Killua whispered. He had been entertaining the fantasy of asking to kiss Gon for the past half hour, and had been silently arguing with a disapproving inner voice that sounded suspiciously like his older brother Illumi.

Gon sat up suddenly, fists clenching at the sheets. "Killua, I-," he faltered to express himself. Startled into alertness, Killua turned to look at his friend and was shocked to see tears wetting the boy's cheeks.

"Gon?" Killua ventured. Gon remained silent for another moment, and Killua watched the progression of a fat tear down his cheek. He wanted nothing more than to brush that tear away, but he restrained himself. Killua's eyes snapped back up to Gon's gaze as his friend spoke.

"I h-hate her." Gon's back was rigid.

Killua was nonplussed. "Hate who, Gon?"

"My stupid Alpha mother," gritted out Gon.

Killua blinked, surprised. Was Gon also a thoroughbred? "Was your mother your carrier?"

"No," breathed Gon quietly.

"But Gon, does that mean your father is an-?"

"-Omega, yes Killua," Gon finished. Killua, stunned, processed this new information. It was highly rare for any Omega to leave the household until they were chosen and pair-bonded to an Alpha. Times were changing, certainly; some had jobs, it was true, but an omega as a Nen user? As one of the most powerful Hunters in the known world? Even more shocking, an Omega who had abandoned his child to the care of a family member to pursue his own aspirations? Killua was by no means an advocate of the old school way of thinking, but that revelation just about shattered every known gender stereotype he'd heard about Omegas. Killua wanted to ask more about Ging, but something told him the gender-biased questions might come off as offensive.

"But Gon, why do you hate her? You don't even know her."

"She left Ging all alone when she found out he was carrying me."

"But how do you know that? I thought you were too young to remember her."

"I don't remember her… but I found a letter once in the back of a drawer to my Aunt Mito-san one day when I was looking for new line for my fishing rod in the back of her closet. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to read it, but I thought it could be from Ging and it was."

"What did it say?" asked Killua, genuinely intrigued.

"That my mom was an Alpha... a treasure Hunter. After Ging got pregnant with me, she told him she didn't have time for a family. So… she just disappeared one day. Ging knew she had gone somewhere dangerous, and that he couldn't bring me while searching for my mom. So he left me with my aunt in the hopes that he could find her; in the hopes that I wouldn't have to be raised without my mother."

"Wow, that's-"

"-that's what?" cut in Gon bitterly. "Not typical behavior for an omega?" Killua, taken aback by the sudden ferocity in his friend's voice, stammered.

"W-well, no, but I was-"

"-maybe he's not typical, ok?" interrupted Gon. "That doesn't make him a bad father. He is the best father."

Gon fell silent, eyes welling again. Killua spoke up quietly. "That wasn't what I was going to say, Gon." He could sense his friend's shoulders tense in expectation for the criticism. Gon must have grown hearing judgements cast against his father, shamed as the Omega carrier who abandoned his young son.

Killua met the hurt in his friend's eyes. "I was going to say that's really admirable of Ging. In fact," he paused for a moment as Gon's eyes turned to him in wonderment at the unexpected praise, "in fact, I think that makes him the most impressive Omega I've ever heard of; in the world, in fact. Maybe even in history. Look at everything he's accomplished!"

Gon flushed with pleasure at the sudden praise. "I hope I can be even half the Omega he is one day," he said firmly.

Killua's mouth suddenly went dry at the thought of Gon as an Omega-his Omega. Then he found himself speaking before he could think. "Gon, if you…" he paused, ears flushing pink at the admission, "If you present as omega, I would... I would take care of you. I would never leave you alone with… with a baby to care for," he finished, closing his eyes in mortification. Baka!(Idiot!) What will he think?! He suddenly wished himself in a tiny, dank corner of Illumi's dungeons for admitting something so sappy. "Gomen (Sorry), Gon..." he whispered after a long moment passed.

Killua's eyes flew open in shock as he felt warm lips shyly touch his in a chaste kiss. "I would like that, Killua-chan," came the unexpected whisper.

While once that memory had been a source of innocent pleasure for Killua, remembrance now brought physical discomfort, as if his lungs were somehow too full of air and yet were unable to satisfy his need for oxygen.

He hadn't expected things to go so horribly wrong.

Hi readers! Ideas for this story have been nagging me ever since I accidentally discovered the Omegaverse fandom (a happy discovery after one too many hours spent reading Fanfic, amirite?), so I finally decided to sit down and write it! It should be noted that I have ZERO experience writing either slash or Omegaverse, but I find the idea of second genders absolutely fascinating, so I think I'll try it out for a while... challenge myself to think outside the box. ^_^

So, what do you think? Am I onto something, or should I quit while I'm ahead? Feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated.

(By the way, if you are here from my other HunterXHunter fic, and are wondering if I will ever pick up on that one again, the answer is YES... Just not immediately.)

Not betaed.