This takes place during 1x08. Spoilers if you haven't seen it yet. The first part is an alternate version of the 'call Liam' fight. The second half takes place after the episode ends. Special thanks to adebisi980 for helping me with a roadblock.
(And I'm still working on When It All Falls Apart, but I got a little distracted with this.)
Cameron drums his fingers on the table. He feels utterly useless as he watches Kirsten type furiously at the computer. Now is really not the time for personal questions, but one gnaws away at him anyway.
Kirsten's refusal to call Liam rubbed Cameron the wrong way. At first he couldn't figure out why. What possible reason can he have for wanting to hear their final, heartfelt goodbyes? Is that really how he wants to spend his last hours? He blames this completely illogical feeling on his fever. It is turning everything upside down and inside out.
All of the puzzle pieces fall together when Cameron presses Kirsten about making the call a third time. He starts to tell her how devastated he would be if he were in Liam's shoes. The admission doesn't come out though. The idea that she could die and he wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye absolutely slays Cameron. It nearly suffocates him, choking out any rational thought.
"Would you have called me?"
The words are out of his mouth before he can think better of it. He knows this isn't the time, but they are running out of that precious resource. Now that he had thought about that scenario, there is no way he would be able to think clearly without an answer.
"For what?" Kirsten asks distractedly, not taking her eyes off of the screen in front of her.
Cameron licks his lips. "For this. If I hadn't been here, would you have called me?"
Kirsten snorts. "That's a ridiculous question."
"Never mind then," Cameron mutters as he gets out of his chair. He isn't sure if it is the fever or his embarrassment that is making his face flush.
Kirsten looks up at him. "First off, when are we ever separated? If I'm in a dangerous situation, you're either right next to me or somewhere close by." She leans forward intently. "In the unlikely event we weren't together this morning, I would've called. As soon as that alarm went off, you would've been in my ear just like always. You wouldn't let me die any more than I would let you. We're a team, Cameron."
Her rationale isn't exactly what he was going for, but Kirsten's words calm her partner nonetheless. Cameron would get a goodbye. Even if it wasn't exactly the way he would've wanted.
"Thanks, Ace. I would've called you too." He sighs as Kirsten returns to her work. "I know I'm pushing you with this Liam thing, but I really think you need to call him before it gets too late."
Kirsten pauses her typing. "Why does this matter so much to you? Your life, my life, the lives of everyone in this lab are more important than Liam's feelings. Is it really worth it to take time out to lie to him?"
"It is. That call isn't for you; it's for him. It's hard and it's scary to tell someone goodbye for the last time, but I can help talk you through it if you want."
Kirsten frowns and tilts her head in confusion. Cameron launches into the story about his scar and his own brush with death. He waits for her to chastise him for working in the field or for not telling her sooner. She just accepts it and lets him continue talking. For that alone he could kiss her. He's never had someone so readily take to that part of his life.
A weight lifts off his chest as he finishes. He told the story partially to convince Kirsten to call her maybe fiance, but there is another motive too. Cameron doesn't want there to be any secrets still between them. He will save the biggest one, his feelings for her, until they are mere heartbeats from death. There was still a chance they could survive, especially with Kirsten at the helm.
Their impromptu night out is in full swing. Camille and Fisher are playing pool at one of the bar's many tables. She sinks balls faster than he can count. Linus watches them, cheering his girlfriend on. Cameron is sitting with Ayo, Tim, and the rest of his coworkers. They had claimed a large table that everyone is crowded around. Tim is in the throws of telling some story about something that had happened when he was a chemistry TA. Judging from the laughs the story generates, it is funny, but failing to hold Cameron's attention.
His thoughts are still revolving around their exit from the lab. The elevator had been filled with a joyful kind of electricity. They had all survived. Linus hung off of Fisher, crushing him in a hug. The scientist kept promising to buy the officer all of his alcohol for the night. Camille suggested the bar they were currently at. It was one of Linus' favorites, a quaint place that only served beers from local breweries. It was next to a diner that they ate at beforehand.
Camille organized the whole thing. She made sure she had everyone's number in case the plan changed. They agreed to meet up an hour later. That would give them enough time to ditch their bunny suits at home and put on real clothes.
Kirsten had been silent for the entire thing. Camille nudged her roommate gently in the shoulder. She offered to buy the blonde a birthday round and celebrate that this wouldn't be her last one.
Kirsten simply shook her head and said Liam's name like it explained everything.
Cameron's chest had tightened with that one word. He could imagine what would happen when she got home. Mr. Perfect had probably cooked something amazing. They would eat. Kirsten would give him her answer. Cameron ended his line of thinking before it went to a really dark place.
The elevator had felt much more crowded than it had a few moments beforehand. The air was stifling. His close proximity to Kirsten didn't help matters. The doors opened mercifully just as Cameron was at the end of his rope. He walked quickly out of the elevator, away from Kirsten and his feelings for her.
That feeling started to crush Cameron again. It had been hours, and no one had heard from Kirsten. Over the course of the night it had been getting harder and harder for him to feign that he was listening. He was happy to be alive, but his sadness over Kirsten and Liam kept overshadowing that. He drains the last of his root beer. Cameron announces that he is leaving. His coworkers don't press him for a reason why. The knowing looks tell him that he wasn't fooling anyone. They all know how he feels about his partner, how lost he seems without her.
Once he is done with the hugs and handshakes, Cameron tells Linus, Camille, and Fisher that he is leaving. They are intent on their game, but quickly say their goodbyes. Cameron is thankful for that. The sympathetic looks from Camille and Linus are bad enough. Getting one from Fisher too makes Cameron feel like he's hit an all time low.
Cameron closes out his tab and exits out a side door. The night air feels good on his face. It calms him down some. The whole day had left him feeling jittery and too big for his skin. He just reaches his car when his phone goes off. Cameron pulls it out of his pocket and reads the display. A jolt zaps through him when he sees that the text is from Kirsten.
STOP.
Cameron freezes. He isn't sure how he is supposed to interpret that.
Wherever you are do not move.
Stay.
Just stay.
The texts come at him rapidfire. He can't wrap his head around what is happening, but he leans against his car to await further instructions.
Cameron doesn't have to wait long. He sees a familiar blonde leaving the bar. She looks around with a puzzled expression on her face. It is obvious the moment she spots Cameron. He waves at her, trying to calm his jangling nerves. Kirsten shoots him an exasperated look and walks toward him.
With every step, Cameron's heartbeat ratchets up another notch. The distance between them falls away. Kirsten stops just out of reach of his arms.
"I made up my mind about Liam." She takes a step closer. "You asked me to tell you in person."
The smile on her face leaves no question as to what her answer was. "Congrats, Stretch. That's great news." Cameron attempts to smile, but his face feels brittle. One wrong move will make it shatter. "Let's get you a round of celebratory drinks and tell everyone the good news."
Cameron estimated it will take a half an hour or so to celebrate. He thinks he can pretend for that long. It won't kill him entirely to put on a happy face, buy her drinks, and tell her that Liam was the luckiest guy in the world. At least his words would be the truth. Liam really is lucky if Kirsten loves him.
Cameron practically sprints back toward the bar. He needs other people to act as a buffer between them. His false enthusiasm won't hold up if Kirsten pays any sort of attention to him.
Cameron doesn't realize how fast he was going until Kirsten stops him just as he reaches the sidewalk. She yanks on his arm and tugs until he faces her. Her back is up against the brick wall of the bar. The deep furrow between her eyebrows confuses Cameron. If he didn't know any better he'd think that she was upset with him.
"What makes you think I accepted?" Her voice is barely audible.
Hope claws at Cameron's chest. "What're you saying?"
"I didn't call Liam because I had already promised myself something. The next time I talked to him I was going to break things off. So as soon as I got home, I did."
"It's over?" Cameron winces at the desperation in his voice. The knot in his stomach starts to unwind itself.
"It's over," she confirms with a smile.
"Oh." Cameron's entire body slackens in relief. He wants Kirsten to be happy, but this is great news. It doesn't mean that she will be his, but at least he gets a chance to romance her.
Kirsten turns her head to the left.. "I'm hungry. Join me?" She points at the diner.
"Sure. I'll even buy you dessert. We never did get to have that cake."
Kirsten shrugs. "That's okay. We saved everyone in the lab. That was the best birthday present I could've asked for."
"Not dying was pretty great," Cameron agreed.
"Yeah that part was good, I guess. They wanted me to go into isolation though, remember." Kirsten looks down at her hands. "I could've survived without you all. Not having to...say goodbye was the real gift. I can't lose you."
Cameron couldn't imagine how much that would've hurt. That kind of thing could haunt someone for the rest of their life. Kirsten had been instrumental in curing them. If she had been locked up, he really would have died. Despair must be written all over his face because Kirsten reached out for his hand. She tangled their fingers together.
"It all turned out okay in the end though," she reassures him.
Cameron smiles at their interlocked hands. "I knew you'd save us. That's who you are."
Kirsten shakes her head. She looks over Cameron's face. He isn't sure whether she's memorizing it or looking for something.
"I don't normally connect with people, but you're different. I trust you. I get the feeling you don't tell a lot of people about this." Kirsten lays her other hand just over his scar. "Which means you trust me too."
Cameron nods, trying to calm his rapidly increasing heartbeat. "Completely."
"Okay."
It feels like they've just agreed to something though Cameron doesn't know what. All Cameron can think about is kissing her. It's a reoccurring thought he's had all day. He tugs her closer with their joined hands. His free one threads through her blonde hair. It is even silkier than he had ever imagined. He gently tilts her head back against the wall. Her eyes land on his lips then raise back up.
"What're you waiting for?" There's a slight hitch in her voice.
Cameron leans in slowly. Their first and only kiss had been hard and fast. He always felt guilty reliving it since Kirsten hadn't actually wanted to kiss him. This one he wants to remember. He wants to be able to replay every second in technicolor. His mouth moves over hers slowly, savoring every touch. His hand sinks deeper into her hair while the other finds the curve of her waist. It travels around and up her back, tracing her spine. Kirsten hums in approval. It makes Cameron want to see what other sounds he can pull from her.
The door to the bar slams open. The music and voices snap them out of their moment. Kirsten rests her hands on Cameron's chest. Her heavy breathing and light blush let him know she's just as affected as he is.
"You terrify me," Kirsten admits breathlessly. "I've never felt this strongly about anything before."
Cameron huffs. "I terrify you?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "You have no idea the hold you have on me."
Kirsten searches his face for something. "Is this what it's supposed to feel like?"
"Only if you're very lucky." Cameron barely finishes his sentence before Kirsten is pulling him down for another kiss.
It's reminiscent of that first kiss. Kirsten kisses like she does anything else with laser focus and every ounce of effort she has in her. She tries to bring Cameron even closer. There is no space between them, but that isn't enough for her. Kirsten is practically fused to the brick wall behind her at this point. It surprises Cameron when she ends their kiss abruptly.
Then he hears it.
"Is that your stomach?" He asks, looking at that part of her body.
Kirsten nods. "Yeah. As much as I'm enjoying this, I kind of need to eat."
Cameron laughs and moves to let Kirsten pass. She is almost at the door to the diner when she whips around. "I don't share my milkshakes so you'll have to get your own." Her lips brush against his in a whisper of a kiss before she dips inside the diner.
If someone had asked Cameron earlier about his dying wish, Kirsten kissing him goodbye would've been at the top of his list. He hadn't known then that kissing her hello, these sweet moments that held such promise, was so much better.