DEEP DOWN, I KNOW, THAT YOU'RE A DETROIT HOUSEWIFE.

No, really, this one is pretty sick for standards. Didn't put much thought on it, but... well, if you're a purist, you may as well hate it.

It was gonna be a great weekend for Greg: the Gems took Steven to do some kind of magic shit, so he had the house all for himself! He took his best stereo, his guitar, a few CDs, two dozens of beers, and six high quality Mary Jane joints, and headed to his son's home. They didn't know it, but fuck them! He also built this place, and he's the one paying their bills so, again, fuck them! At least, he could sleep in a real bed and watch TV, and eat something that he cooked. He missed living in a real house, as he spent the last twenty years residing in a van after leaving his abusive adoptive parents.

But that didn't matter now. He arrived and opened the already unlocked door, and left his things near the couch. "Woohooooooooooo!", yelled in excitement once he was there. "Well, first things first!", thought as he took the stereo and went upstairs, where he plugged it into the socket right next to the TV's one. He went downstairs again, took his CDs, and went back up. "Okay, let's start with this", muttered to himself as he introduced one of the round items in the music player.

He laid on his son's mattress as the first song started.

"Niggas screw they face up at me

On some real shit, son, they don't want beef

I cock that, aim that shit out the window

Spray, there ain't a shell left in my heat..."

In my hood, by 50 Cent. The Massacre was one of his favorite albums.

He stood up after a couple of minutes, and started to undress. It was summer, it was hot, he was alone, and there were no neighbors! This was his magic weekend.

He went to the kitchen and checked what was in the cupboards and in the fridge. "Jackpot!", he shouted happily, discovering a lot of bakery products, variety of meats, and some juices and sodas. He made some room in the bottom shelf for his beers. It was around 10 a.m., so he grabbed a grape juice and some croissants and Neapolitans and went up again.

He sat on the bed, leaving there the food, and took the joints out of one of his pockets and a lighter out of another one.

The stereo played This is 50, the next song.

"I don't know what you take me for

I really don't play that shit

I ain't got to get you hit

I get out myself and spray that shit...".

He lighted his first joint and gave it a very long puff. He held the smoke as long as he could, and let it out softly.

He wanted to get high quickly, so he repeated the process six times, leaving the ash fall to the floor.

"This shit is goooood", whispered laying back on the mattress, holding now nothing but the butt of his joint.

He grabbed one of the croissants with his right hand and put it on his closed mouth, licking it each time he blinked. The munchies were knocking his door fast.

It was time for the next song, I'm supposed to die tonight.

"Ah man

You know where the niggas be at right?

Take me to 'em

All through the hood, I keep hearin' niggas sayin'

I'm supposed to die tonight

niggas come put a hit out and they talkin' like the shit okay

I'm down to ride tonight...".

His altered senses started to affect him.

He thought that the song was about him, and that he was going to die. He ate the croissant rapidly, thinking that maybe that would help him to live longer.

What he didn't realize was that he wasn't alone anymore: Steven came back with a pout on his face because the Gems told him that the mission was too dangerous for him and he had to go back home. But that expression changed as he heard the music coming from his room, and when he saw his dad's guitar on the floor. He also perceived the smell that was all over the place, but decided to ignore it.

Steven went upstairs to find his father naked, in fetal position on his bed, and with some food next to him.

"D-dad?!", exclaimed, "What are you doing here?", sounding louder than the music.

Greg opened his eyes and fixated them on him. "Steven?! Are you real?!", asked surprised.

"Y-yeah, but what are yo-".

"There's no time! Come here and hug me!", interrupted frantically the oldest.

"Wha-".

"50 Cent wants to kill me! Come here and hug me! Your magical pink hardened belly button from outer space will save us all!", interrupted again.

"I don't understand you!", exclaimed the minor as he started to lower the volume, "Wha-".

Greg realized what his son was doing, and interrupted him again. "DON'T DO THAT! IF HE STOPS RAPPING, HE'LL COME SOONER! COME HERE NOW!".

Steven, scared of the way his father was acting, did as he was told. He laid next to him, and suddenly he was the little spoon. Greg seemed to calm down. "Dad, are you okay?", asked worried the curly-haired boy.

"Yes, but I can still see his fire bars, and I have to work really hard to avoid their poison", answered, sounding mostly neutral, but talking slowly. He looked at his kid's hair and spoke again. "Steven, you can't be like that. Get disposed of those unholy tatters and inhale the sacred medicine".

Steven didn't know what to do or say. He stood up, and felt his father staring at him and nodding. "What do I have-".

"No clothes, you smoke", interrupted yet again the long-haired man.

The boy was too scared as to do otherwise. It wasn't the first time that his dad was seeing him naked, but he was nervous because of the way he was acting. Once he was done, asked again. "A-and now?".

"We have to eliminate your adjacent feelings towards my current being, so you have to inhale the fumes of the mystic plant", answered calmly Greg, pointing at the joints with his toes and fingers.

"B-but Pearl says that smoking is bad, a-and-".

Fifth interruption. "Don't worry, my child. I wouldn't do anything to harm you. This is not like the bad smoking the blessed Pearl of the Crystal Gems talks about. It's natural, it grows thanks to the power of love and the happiness of this planet", said smiling fondly, taking a joint and lighting it for Steven. "Here, let it expand your knowledge and your power".

Steven, was worried, but he also was naive, so he believed every word his dad said, having now stars in his eyes. If you ignore the "50 Cent wants to kill me" part, he seemed as weird as always, but more loquacious... and showing more skin.

He took the joint and tried to imitate his father. He started coughing after doing so. "I don't like it!", exclaimed.

Greg's expression didn't change, "Nobody likes medicines, but we have to take them if we want to be healthy", and convinced him. "Once the smoke reaches your mouth, take a deep breath".

Steven did it a few times until he mastered it, and could smoke it coughing just a little.

In the meanwhile, the next song started to play. Piggy Bank.

"Clickity-clank, clickity-clank

The money goes into my piggy bank

Clickity-clank, clickity-clank

The money goes into my piggy bank

Man I'll get at you - my knife cuts your skin
I'll get at you - blow shots at your man...".

The beat and the lyrics were ignored by the duo, who were now staring at each other bodies.

Steven, being way younger and much less experienced, got high really quick. He laid next to Greg again, but now looking at the ceiling. The father started to speak. "Now, we need protection against 50 Cent, what do we do?", inquired whispering.

Steven extended his left hand and started caressing his dad's belly. "I have the gem that I have, but you only have a level 200 regular belly with no gems", answered in the same tone.

They kept in silence for a few seconds, during which Steven stopped rubbing the other's tummy, until Greg exclaimed "MEN'S SEED!". Steven didn't react, his eyes were against the, for him, judgmental ceiling.

"This is what we're doing. Do you know what's the power of the weenie?", asked seriously Greg.

"You can't lean it against a flat surface without hurting the feelings of our savior", replied softly the child after a moment.

"Yeah, but I know it's real power!", said excited the oldest. "We can trigger a physiological mechanism that will allow you to lend me some of your power!".

Steven's eyed widened. "You are my father...", muttered as he started to cry, "That's the least I can do for you, my father, for being my dad".

Greg started to cry as well, and turned to hug his boy. "I love a Steven", pronounced, and proceeded to kiss away his baby's tears.

Steven started to kiss him too wherever he could. He started by a bearded chin, but as Greg moved, he could end up kissing his lips.

"You...", whispered Greg after feeling his son's soft skin against his mouth, "Are everything", and continued hugging him tightly.

Steven simply nodded and kissed his father's lips again, who opened his own to receive the youngest with his tongue this time. Greg licked his kid's lips and around them, and Steven began to imitate him. Suddenly, they were having a tongue fight, and it seemed that the oldest was winning.

After a moment, Greg put one of his hands on Steven's gem, making them stop. They were back to spooning, but in this session, Greg took advantage and touched every millimeter of his son's skin he could. Who, by the way, didn't move since he laid down.

It was time for the next song, Gatman and Robbin, featuring Eminem.

"Gee wilikers Gatman, they got me surrounded

I'm on my way

I got a gatman

There's a problem I'ma solve it

A nigga movin' around

With a big ass revolver and a batman

What the fuck are you retarded

You touch Shady I'll leave you dearly departed

They say Batman...".

"Finally!", exclaimed Steven moving all of his limbs, "I couldn't move because that BRRRRR didn't let me move". (He was referring to the bassline). Once he considered he was free, he jumped on top of his father and started caressing his chest.

"Steven, you're so strong!", said happily Greg, grabbing his son's buttcheeks, "And we spend so little time together...", muttered now starting to sob.

"Dad, do you love me?", asked the youngest seriously, stopping his rubbing. The mentioned nodded rapidly and started stroking Steven's hair with his left hand. "Let me protect you. Do what you have to do to be protected by me", finished, altering the speed of his words in each sentence.

Greg nodded and told him to lie down facing him. The youngest obliged and laid his eyes on his dad's hands, which were now massaging his belly around his gem. Their altered senses didn't allow them to notice, but both of their penises were now hard, with some difference in size between the prepubescent boy and the adult.

Greg placed himself on top of Steven, and started kissing him softly, beginning by his cheeks, then his chest, continued with his tummy and his gem, and ended up kissing the boy's clear and soft pubis.

Steven moaned a little when he felt something like tickles in that zone of his body and curved his back. It was a new sensation for him, and he was loving it. His dad began caressing his boy's little scrotum gently while he kept going down with his lips, making the curly-haired kid add pants to his moans.

Greg didn't want to wait anymore, so he separated his mouth from Steven's body for a moment, which he took to look at his son's hard dick, and put it entirely in his oral cavity. It was around 3.5 or 4 inches, so it wasn't that difficult. Besides, it wasn't the first time that the long-haired man did something like this. His van was really expensive when he bought it, and his ways of obtaining money weren't... orthodox.

When Steven felt his exposed glans in such a warm and humid place, his spinal cord felt a pleasure electroshock. It didn't stop. He sat up a little and lowered his eyes to find his father's head moving up and down over his pelvis, with a hand on his gem and the other massaging his testicles.

The next song started to play. Candy shop was now.

"I'll take you to the candy shop

I'll let you lick the lollipop

Go 'head girl, don't you stop

Keep going 'til you hit the spot...".

Could it be any more appropriate?

The cannabis' effects plus the rhythm of the music made Steven go crazy, feeling pleasure all over his body. Now his dad's tongue against his penis was like the embrace of a whip made out of ambrosia, and his skin was being kissed by magic tiny angels. His moans were louder and his pants deeper.

Greg, on the other side, was eager to feel the warm seed of his son in his mouth, so he began sucking faster while his fingers played with the hardest and the softest parts of his kid.

Steven couldn't hold back anymore. A new overwhelming sensation took over his nervous system as he came, leaving his body float among clouds of gods' feathers while he screamed.

His father only felt two spurts inside of him. And that was all. It was rather sparse, owed to his boy's age and slow development. He swallowed his semen anyway and separated his mouth from Steven's penis, which started to soften.

"A-are we done yet?", whispered Steven, recovering his breath and stroking his dad's hair.

"Almost there, bud", answered Greg, smiling fondly at him. He lifted Steven's short legs and leaned them against his chest, and he started to masturbate his thick dick, which was already leaking precum.

Steven nodded and laid back, closing his eyes, but he opened them again when suddenly he felt his father's glans against his anus. "What are you-", tried to ask worried, but an index finger was set gently on his mouth.

"Don't worry, we're almost done", said Greg, calming him. "I love you too much as to hurt you, Steven", continued.

Steven nodded again and smiled at him.

Now, Outta control started to play.

"I guess you didn't know

I be back for more

Everybody's on the floor

Goin', goin' outta control

Set it off from your left dawg...".

They ignored the music. Greg's dick's head kept against Steven's butthole as the older masturbated, not penetrating his son. He kept going, moaning some in the process, and after a minute, he came in that little pink hole. His spurts were numerous and way thicker than his kid's ones.

He spread his boy's buttcheeks, trying to introduce his semen down his rectum.

Steven felt the liquid advancing and worried again, but Greg's hand holding his own relaxed him.

"Okay shtuball, get ready now", whispered the oldest as he grabbed Steven's legs and kept them up by the thighs, and he lowered his head.

"For whaAAAAAWWW GOD!", exclaimed the curly-haired boy when he felt his dad's tongue in his little semen-filled hole.

Greg started licking gently at first, but after a few moments, he introduced his organ of taste and speech, turning Steven's expression in a mix of delight and worry and making him moan like a little piggy.

It was time for the next song: Get in my car's beat started.

Now Greg was slurping in Steven's anus, sucking his own sperm out, and swallowing it as he did.

Steven was scratching his own calves because of the sensation of intense pleasure, and his dick was hard again. He wasn't able to articulate any words, so he kept letting out nonsense noises which meant "I love this! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkk!".

Greg didn't take long felching as his semen wasn't too deep, so he finished quickly, but left some traces on his boy's buttcheeks on purpose.

He let go Steven's legs so he could lie properly, but before doing it himself, he sat next to him started to masturbate the littlest.

"Who's your daddy?", asked in a low voice, starting the up and down motion.

"You... you are my daddy", answered Steven in a similar way, being very close to the climax.

"Yeah, I'm your daddy, and I love you very much", said Greg, speeding up the movement, making Steven groan again.

"And I... I love you very much too, daddy", replied, not being able to last any longer, cumming on himself, just a little spurt this time. But that doesn't mean that the orgasm was any worse. For him, it was even better, because his dad was looking and smiling at him this time.

He finished, and now they were staring at each other eyes, Greg caressing his son's scrotum and Steven stroking his father's hair.

The next song started to play, Ski mask way.

It went unnoticed by the duo.

Greg laid on top of Steven carefully, avoiding to hurt him, and they hugged each other.

Steven lifted his head a little, looking for a kiss from his dear dad, who responded lowering his and reaching his darling son's soft lips with his own. They engaged in a new love session, but Greg's hearing made them stop.

He paid attention to the lyrics for a little and..., "Now 50 Cent wants to rob us too!", shouted nervously.

Steven also started to freak out. "Hurry, we need more power to fight him!", replied in the same way grabbing onto his dad's wide back.

And so, they repeated the process... until the Gems came back early and spotted them having lovely sex.

Luckily, the alien race didn't really know what was going on, but Pearl realized that Greg was doing to Steven the same thing she saw he was doing once to Rose some time before she... disappeared. She started to panic, summoned her spear, and stabbed Greg's head.

Steven suffered a sudden change of feelings: from joy and pleasure to sorrow and ire.

His gem started to glow, and around his body appeared the form of Rose. It was like a pink hologram that engulfed him.

Steven's eyes turned white and began to shine, like Lion's ones did sometimes. The figure started to talk, and its voice was Rose's voice.

"OH YOU BITCH! FIRST, YOU DIDN'T LIKE MY MAN; AND NOW, YOU KILL HIM, LEAVING MY KID ORPHAN!", yelled furiously while shaking her limbs. "I'MMA FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU THIRSTY JEALOUS SLUT! HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!".

Rosesteven lunged at Pearl, who was frozen because of the shock, and ripped her gem off, making her poof. Then she took the spear hammered in her husband's front lobe, threw the gem, and drove the weapon into it.

The rest is history.

(Garnet didn't like 50 Cent, but Amethyst did).

I'M WAAAAAAAY UP, I FEEL GEMMED.