"You can't go!" Anthony cried hysterically. He stomped around shoving vases off tables and pillows off the sofa.

I raised an eyebrow calmly at my little boy.

"Why can't I go?" I ask. He's crying hard, deep sobs rippling his body. I reach into my purse and grab ahold of his inhaler.

"Baby, you need to calm down." I tell him coming to kneel in front of him. I rest my hands on his shoulders and peer earnestly into his tear-filled eyes.

"Baby, calm down." He tears out of my arms and runs to the far end of the room

"No! No you can't go!" He jumps up and down screaming over and over. His face is rapidly becoming purple. I approach him quickly and wrestle him into my arms. He kicks and elbows yelling no. I take a painful tiny elbow to the lip and taste blood.

"Anthony Edward Masen," Edward's voice is sharp, commanding, not quite his running the mob voice, it's his Dad voice. Anthony turns sharply and looks at his Father who's in full Dad mode.

"You do not hit your Mother." Anthony keeps crying in my arms, struggling to be released.

"She's not my Mom!" He cries. "She's going to leave me, she's going to go away and never come back." His voice is hoarse, and he's sobbing, squirming violently.

I release him and he jets to his room, I collapse on the couch drained.

It was too easy, me coming into his life. He latched onto me being his Mother easily, but now, the fallout is taking place. He's positive that every time I leave I'm leaving forever, he's had a breakdown everyday I try to go in to oversee the construction. On the first day I stayed home and reassured him that I wasn't going anywhere. On the second, I brought him along so he could see that all I was doing was sitting in a boring office.

Today, well today was a nightmare.

Edward is in Anthony's room, I can hear the low velvet of his voice murmuring to Anthony who's still crying.

I find myself crying, because I hate to see him like this, because I just want my shop back in order and life back together, because he told me what I already know.

I'm not his Mom.

I finger the charm around my neck. The one I never remove. He's aware that I'm not his Mom, and when it comes down to it, when things are hairy like they are today, he'll fully admit that I'm not his Mother, that he has no obligations to me.

I finger my lip softly, it's puffy, damn Anthony can hit. My knees and shins ache from the kicks of his feet. Well at least I don't have to worry about some stranger nabbing him. That boy can put up a fight.

I don't know how long I sit on the couch silent tears streaming down my face. I finally realize they're not going to come out anytime soon and kick off my shoes and go to our room and change into some sweats and a Tshirt. I shoot a text to Emmett and tell him to call if there's anything I'm needed for, then I lay down and close my eyes.

I'm woken by something tickling my nose. I shift trying to dislodge it but feel a weight on my chest. I open my eyes slowly and find a tuft of coppery hair tucked under my chin, Anthony is curled on my chest.

My hand rubs his back lightly, humming to feel him close.

"His anxiety is manageable, but he still has his bad days." Edward says from beside me, I turn and find him looking worn.

"Everyday I wonder when it's finally going to be enough for you, when you're finally going to say you can't do this anymore." I gasp a breath in disbelief.

"Edward." I admonish. "There's never going to be a 'enough' for me. I'm in this, I love you, both of you, and I always will."

I wonder just how much time Edward spends worrying that I'm going to just take off. Leave him and Anthony and turn away.

I'd never do that to them though, I can't. It kills me to think of not having my family. My insides squirm everytime Edward gets a call and leaves looking tense and bosslike. It's like I can't breath everytime I look at Anthony and imagine a world where he isn't smiling.

Anthony shifts on my chest and pokes his head up shyly, gazing at me with wide eyes. Edward clears his throat and gives Anthony a firm glance.

"I'll give you some time alone." He says leaving quietly.

Anthony's bottom lip quivers. He nuzzles into my chest and refuses to meet my eye.

"I'm sorry." he finally croaks. "I-I" He starts to cry softly.

I rub his back and shush him softly.

"I love you, you're my Mommy." He says quietly peering up at me. "You're still my Mommy right? Even though I-" He gasps a shuddering breath. "I hit you."

My hand pushes his messy hair out of his face tenderly.

"I'll always be your Mommy baby. I'll always love you. But sometimes Mommy's got to go to work, that doesn't mean I won't come back," Anthony sniffles sadly.

"When you get sad I want you to do something. Look around the room and find five things you can see. Look around baby what are five things you can see?"

Anthon sits up and looks around the room.

"Tv." He sniffles. I hold up a finger. "Bed." another finger. "Lamp, window, picture."

"Very good baby." I say with a smile. "Now 4 things you can touch, get up and touch 4 things." Anthony holds my hand and touches the carpet, the sheet, the wall, and the smooth wood of a dresser.

"Close your eyes, 3 things you can hear." Anthony squeezes his eyes tight.

"Daddy's music." I pause, listening to the distant sounds of a piano. Since when did Edward play? "My heart. Your breathing."

"You're doing so good baby! Now 2 things you can smell." Anthony opens his little eyes and scrunches his nose.

"Daddy's and Mommy's perfume." This makes me giggle.

"And something you can taste."

Anthony looks around the room his brow puckered in determination. He settles on the tin of mints on Edward's bedside table, the ones he obsessively takes.

He just likes to always be ready to kiss. I don't mind it at all.

"See baby, now you're grounded. That means safe, and comfortable." Anthony perks up with a smile and I put him on my hip and make my way to where the piano is coming from.

I'm stunned when I find Edward, with his eyes closed, and hands dancing over the keys, he's lost in the music.

The song itself is beautiful, light and airy in some places, then quickly transforming to become rapid, heart beating fast, emotional.

I didn't know he could play.

He's been keeping this from me.

"How come I never knew you could play?" I ask interrupting him. His eyes pop open and his talented fingers stop, those talented fingers… now I know why foreplay is so amazing.

"I wanted to show you when it was perfect." He says abashed. Anthony giggles and squirms, I set him down and he runs to Edward's side.

"It's a song for you." Anthony says excitedly.

Edward glances at me and launches into the song he'd just been playing. Every now and again when Edward would nod Anthony would hit a few keys. Anthony's little tongue is poking out of his mouth, his face set in grim determination.

It's beautiful. Both look so determined to play it right, to show me how exactly they feel with music.

I find myself crying.

Before they can finish I march forward and pull Edward to me and press a kiss firmly to his lips. His hands stumble on the keys. Anthony shrieks with laughter and I pull away from Edward and pull him up into a hug.

"That was beautiful guys, I love it!"

Anthony is delighted, Edward is proud.

And I just love them both.