A/N: Anyone familiar with Hellsing, knows the fate of Seras' parents, and how fucked that situation was. Well, this is like that, if you take the most horrible thing you can imagine, and multiply it by cancer. As such, the rating will be going up accordingly. The next few chapters will be solely centered around Seras, and Alucard's absentee father method of throw the kid into the deep end until they learn to swim. Or drown. Same difference. On a separate note, given a general disinterest in my usual hobbies, I've compiled notes for a good portion of the next several chapters, so might see a few in relatively quick succession, but my track record on this matter is less than sterling. So you know, what happens, happens.

SERAS

Why was she seeing this. This was a memory. A nightmare. It never should have happened. This moment. This tragedy. This was where her life spiraled out of control. Six fucking years old, and her life was turned upside down. Rage and terror swirled through her. Tears coated her face, and her heart felt like it was hammering her chest apart. This wasn't fair, why did she have to live through this again? As helplessly as the last time, she watched through the slats of the closet door. Watched as her father lay slumped against the wall, and her mother lay on her back in a pool of blood. She watched while the two murderers joked about the ordeal, and whether or not it was rape if the broad was dead.

"After all" one smirked fumbling with his belt. "She's still warm."

"You're one sick fuck, you know that? Geez, just make it quick. Don't want no one to see us leave." The second one said as he began shoving valuables into a back pack.

As he was about to move to the next room, he paused for a moment turning back to his companion. "Hey Mike, didn't the bloke have a kid?"

The mongrel rutting atop the dead woman stopped for a moment as realization struck. There might still be a witness lurking about.

Mike hoisted his pants back up, and the hit men started scanning their surroundings with their hand guns at the ready. Seras clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle her panicked breathing while her other hand clutched at her stomach where the horrible ache of the gunshot twisted her insides. They hadn't fired yet, but she remembered that agony. Better for them to move on than to feel that again. As she watched, they went to seperate sides of the room until they were out of her line of sight. She heard the creak of the stairs, and the opening of the kitchen door. She sighed and relaxed a little at the realization they had left the room, and sat down so she wouldn't have to look at her mother's half naked corpse.

-Just wait a little longer Seras. Freddie will be walking through the door any minute to check on dad. He'll kill the murderers just like he did 15 years ago. You don't need to run out there. You don't need to fight them. You don't need to get shot. If you had just waited, it never would have happened.- She rocked back and forth, holding her knees to her chest as she tried to reassure herself that everything would be fine. -Besides, this is all a bad dream. A memory. You'll wake up soon, and it'll be in the past where it belongs. Nothing can stop you in the real world. Nothing. There, you're powerful. There you're untouchable. There, you're a monster.-

With the report of another hand gun, she jumped, startled out of her mental trance. Her lips curved into a smile, It must have been Freddie killing the one in the kitchen!

"Shit, Mike we got another dead bloke over here!"

Those simple words snapped the last vestige of hope holding her together.

"Have you learned nothing, Police Girl? Have you ignored everything I taught you?"

Though tears blurred her vision, she looked up into the amber glasses, and the deathly pale face of her Master. Alucard. There was no mistaking him. She floated in a void, there was nothing but her, and the No-Life King. The outstretched arms of his red coat seamed to engulf everything in sight, his hands closing in like the bars of a cage. His wide brimmed hat drooped low over his head as he loomed above her.

"I gave you everything. I saved you from this pathetic creature, and this is how you repay me? This what my investment has yielded?"

"But, Master!? I'm a child! What am I meant to do?" She cried out, her fear of discovery drowned by the terror of the monster before her.

"If you do not know the answer, then you are worthless."

Once more in the closet, she looked up to Alucard who stood for several moments glaring at her through her pitiful reflection in his glasses. With an insidious smirk he stared into her eyes as he slowly rapped his knuckles on the wall. Seras shook her head in denial, tears blurring her sight as she crawled backwards, wishing with everything she had to melt into the shadows. When she wiped her face, Alucard was gone.

"You hear that Caleb? Sounded like it came from the living room."

Scooting into the corner, Seras could only look on in hooror as the door knob of the closet jiggled, and she was staring down the barrel of that gun again. The muzzle flashed, while the wall behind her was painted red, and the world went black.

The world was coming to her in flashes. Red tinged, agony filled flashes. Her hair was wet and sticky. her shirt stuck to her back, as she was dragged out of the closet through the slickness of her own blood. There were the murders above her.

"We should go, already killed more than we was paid for." The lanky one said, looking over his shoulder. from the floor she could see Freddie's brown leather oxfords in the kitchen, stained with red drops.

"Aye, but where's fun in that." Mike remarked, laughing manicly. "Might as well make the set."

"I've had it with your shit mate, you do what you want, I'm getting out of here. If you ain't rotting in a cell tonight, getting shivved for this I'll meet you at Earnie's place."

She watched the other man walk out through the kitchen, taking the time to untie Freddie's shoes and carry them out with him. She blacked out again, and again, but everytime she came to, there was that horrible weight. Her clothes were gone. There was nothing in her small, small world but pressure, and pain.

A sharp bounce jolted her awake. Panicking, Seras flailed about, clutching at her chest, and stomach. Strong hands grabbed hold of her wrists, and her panick grew, as a scream tore out of her throat.

"Kit, calm down! It's me damnit, its Jack!"

Finally, she could see again, as she looked around the crowded troop compartment of the D-11 transport. There they all were, Jack, Eugene, Donnovan, all her D-11 squad mates.

"I'm sorry... Bad dream..." She looked around nervously. It couldn't have been a dream. 2 years? Alucard? Hellsing? No, this was another memory. She reached up to her neck, but the two pinholes were absent. Were they there in the last memory? Was her arm still that of a mortal? Her temples ached as she fought to control herself. She was about to start hyper ventilating, and she couldn't do that around all her old friends.

"Its just nerves. Too many unknowns about this mission." Jack said as he patted her helmeted head. "Dont worry though, you got all of us here."

"Yeah, nothing's happening to our Kitten." Donovan laughed, as the light headed banter broke the uneasiness of the tense ride.

"Yeah... Nothing's going to happen to anyone." Seras said woodenly as she looked out the window at a passing sign.

Welcome to Cheddar

In the distance she saw the hill top, and the dilapidated parish. The nightmare hadn't ended. It had only begun.