REDEMPTION

Chapter 1

Copyright: Some characters and/or partial story lines have been borrowed from The 100. I do not own them. I do own my own thoughts and ideas that are written here.

AN: I am very lazy. I really did not want to bother looking up words in Trigedasleng. I figured if I wrote in Trigedasleng then I would have to also include a translation. I'm sure there are a lot of you who are probably quite fluent by now in this but I am not. I know Lingo Jam has an online translator but again, I am lazy. With that said, you may consider any spoken words that are italicized as being spoken in Trigedasleng. Lastly, I'm sure if you look you will notice that this is my first published fanfiction here. Be honest and kind please, and thank you for reading.


Lexa quickly spun around, the tails of her long dark jacket billowing behind her. Her breath catching in her throat and her eyes briefly closing to prevent the moisture that so desperately wanted to spill from them. Only the girl that came from the sky could provoke these emotions in her. She knew Clarke was about to say more to get her to change her mind and a part of her was afraid that she would give in to her heart and break the deal she just made that guaranteed her peoples' freedom and safety. She also couldn't bear to see the look on Clarke's face any longer. The look that was there because of her actions, and was full of disbelief, hurt, heartbreak, and pleading. She wanted nothing more than to run to the blonde and tell her everything would be fine and do whatever needed to be done to erase that look from her beautiful features.

It had been an easy decision for the Commander to make. Her duty to her people came before anything and she had to take the deal that Emerson offered her. The return of all of her people and not another one of their lives lost in the process in exchange for staying away from the territory belonging to the mountain and also for the lives of those from the sky they held imprisoned within their fortress. Yet at the same time it was one of the hardest decisions she had ever had to make.

For so long now Lexa had not allowed herself to feel or care about anyone. She had forced her heart into a block of ice, but recently that ice had started to thaw. It caught her by surprise. Clarke, caught her by surprise. She had never known anyone like her. It was the blonde leader's fire and strength, her courage and determination, her unselfish dedication, and her caring and compassion that slowly started to melt the ice around her heart until she could feel it beating again. Nobody had ever questioned or pushed her the way that Clarke did. Nobody had ever made her face herself. Nobody had ever made her feel so hopeful and alive, not even Costia. She had loved Costia very much, but this felt different somehow. She didn't know that the feelings and trust she had for the sky leader could exist. She has only known her for such a short time but it felt like she has always known her.

She hoped that Clarke could understand her decision and the reasoning behind it. She had tried to allow just enough emotion to show on her face and in her eyes for the sky girl to understand that she wished she could have chosen differently. She knew nobody else would notice but Clarke. Clarke had an uncanny ability to see the tiny details nobody else could. Like the tightening of muscles in her jaw, the miniscule movement of her brow, or the slight flicker of emotion that reflected in her eyes. She knew the beautiful blonde could though. From their very first meeting she had seen right through her tough commander exterior and into her true self. The person that she would not, could not, allow others to see.

"Walk away Clarke," the Commander thought to herself.

She knew that Lincoln was right. If the sky people stayed to fight alone, they would all be killed. She knew Clarke though and she knew that she would not stop until she got her people back. Lexa only hoped that somehow Clarke would survive. She knew Clarke was strong and resourceful. She wanted the other leader in her life. She needed her in her life. She knew that as long as Clarke survived that it would be possible for them to work through this.

Lexa marched with her army through the woods until they reached the outskirts of the mountain peoples' territory. They were back at the camp they had left just hours before.

"Indra," she called to her most trusted general as she walked into her tent knowing the older dark lady would follow.

"Make sure Lincoln is restrained. We cannot have anyone violating the terms of our agreement with the mountain."

The commander had walked to her throne but did not sit down. Instead she stood facing it.

"Send four scouts to the sky peoples camp. I want to be notified immediately of the sky peoples return or of any unusual activity."

"Yes, Commander," the General replied.

Lexa finally turned and looked at Indra. She dismissed her general with a flick of her hand. Indra simply nodded once, turned, and left the tent.

With one fluid movement, Lexa drew her dagger from her thigh and with a flick of her wrist sent it sailing. It sang through the air and embedded itself into the large center tent post. After a moment she walked over to it and pulled it out. She leaned her forehead against the cool post, closed her eyes, and let out a breathy sigh.

"What have I done?" she thought to herself.

The green eyed brunette replayed the night's events over in her mind. She knew she had made the right decision but it didn't stop that decision from weighing heavily on her heart. Now that Clarke had reminded her that her heart was still there she was not able to push it aside and hide it again. She turned and glanced at her bed, pausing for a moment before walking over and finally sitting in her throne. She knew her bed would be useless. She knew that sleep would not come. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the hurt as it spread across those beautiful blue eyes as realization of what was happening sank in. She saw the unshed tears fill those eyes to near overflowing. She could practically hear Clarke's heart breaking.

The Commander sat slightly slumped to the side in her throne, her left arm resting on the arm rest supporting her weight. She still held her dagger in her right hand. She placed the tip of the dagger on top of the arm rest, her hand lightly grasping the hilt as she slowly spun it around. Lexa stared unseeing at the intricate design on the weapon's blade as her mind was lost in thought. She was thinking back on the last few weeks, from the moment the fearless blonde leader of the sky people had entered her tent, until the moment she turned and walked away from her leaving her to what seemed like a certain death. Clarke had been a constant presence during this time. So much so that her absence now did not feel right.

Although Lexa had pulled her army away from the impending battle, she still fought her own inside herself. She knew she had to have all of her people withdraw from the mountain but that didn't stop the urge she felt to run back and be by Clarke's side. Her responsibility as leader of the 12 clans was the only thing keeping her from doing just that.

She never expected to fall for the blonde, but she had. She knew the other girl had feeling for her too. The promise of her words "not yet" echoed through Lexa's head and still gave her hope that one day Clark would be ready to be with her. If only she didn't just ruin that possibility. She thought back to the way the other girl's lips had felt and tasted as they pressed against her own as Clarke returned her kiss. The fingers of her left hand involuntarily lifting to her mouth to lightly trace her bottom lip.

Snapping out of her thoughts with a slight visible jerk, Lexa stared once again at the blade of her dagger. She could see her face reflected in the wide blade. Her war paint smeared with sweat and blood. The Commander quickly stood up and sheathed her dagger. She thought of the scouts on their way to the sky peoples' camp, then deciding to go and see her people that were freed from the mountain, she swept out of her tent.

It was after night fall when one of the scouts returned as Lexa was making her way back to her tent. She motioned for her warrior to follow her as she entered. Once seated on her throne she looked at him and waited for him to begin his report.

"Commander, the sky peoples' soldiers that marched to war with us last night were already back at camp when we arrived. Shortly after sun up another group of sky people returned from the mountain. There were several wounded among them."

"They were successful in rescuing their people from the mountain?" asked the Commander.

"Yes, Commander. There were a few others with them including their Chancellor, Abigail Griffin and Marcus Kane. Lincoln was with them as well." The warrior knew this would anger the Commandeer because it violated their agreement with the mountain people. He braced himself for the wrath that was sure to come, but there was nothing but silence.

Lexa knew that Lincoln would never have escaped on his own. She was quite certain that Indra had something to do with his being free. She knew she should be angrier than she was by that fact but the words actually brought her a tiny bit of comfort knowing that Lincoln was a good warrior and that his help was probably needed by the sky people.

Without letting even the tiniest bit of emotion show she asked the one question she feared an answer to. "Was Clarke with them?"

"Yes, Commander, but she did not enter the camp with the rest of them. Once everyone was inside the camp she walked away into the forest. Oden was sent to follow her."

Lexa wondered how Clarke had gotten her people out and was afraid of the wrath that would come as retaliation from the people who had locked themselves in the mountain years ago. "Was there any sign of the mountain people?"

"None, Commander."

"Eat and rest Maka. Then return to the sky camp. I want continued reports on their activities and if there is any sign from the mountain."

"Yes, Commander." The acknowledgement was brief as the warrior nodded his head then took his leave.

Lexa's thoughts were heavy. There was much that needed to be done. In the morning they would break camp and head back to Tondc. There was a lot of rebuilding and resupplying that needed to be done before winter set in. Most of those that were currently in her army would be sent home with their leaders once they knew for certain that both the mountain and the sky people would not be a threat any longer. Of course some would stay to help with the rebuilding. She still wanted to maintain some kind of an alliance with the sky people. She knew that would be difficult since she had abandoned them at the mountain. She knew though that they would need her peoples' help to make it through the winter. She knew that Chancellor Griffin would be difficult to deal with but perhaps with Kane's help they could reach an agreement. Octavia and Lincoln were another story all on their own. They were now considered traitors and not recognized among the Trikru. Could she find a way to allow them back while maintaining proper justice for their actions or would they have to remain among the Skaikru? She knew that Octavia felt like she belonged with the Trikru more than she did with those she had fallen out of the sky with, and that the help from both her and Lincoln would be necessary to help bridge the two groups if they agreed to maintain an alliance of any sort. Yes, there were many things to take care of and soon because she needed to return to Polis.

Then there was Clarke. Lexa quickly pushed that thought out of her head before it could materialize in her mind as bright blonde curls and sparkling blue eyes. Hopefully her scouts would bring her word of the young leader soon.

With a heavy sigh Lexa reached for a cloth that was sitting on the table she had been standing in front of. She dipped it into the bowl of water it had been sitting next to and after wringing out the excess moisture she finally began to wipe off the war paint and blood from her face and the single tear that had escaped from the corner of her eye.


Clarke wanted to turn back and take one last look at the people she had just saved and that she was now leaving. Who knew if she would ever see any of them again. She refused to turn around. It would do nothing but bring back the sights and sounds of what she did for them to be where they are now. Instead she held her head high and kept her eyes focused straight ahead as she walked away. She still did not stop once she entered into the trees of the forest.

"Where will you go?" Bellamy's question echoed in her head. She really didn't know. She knew only that she could not stay at Camp Jaha. She could not return to the mountain and relive the horror she had caused there. She could not be with the Trikru, with Lexa.

"Lexa," Clarke breathed out as the fearless leader entered her thoughts. She closed her eyes and the moisture that had flooded them at the whisper of the commander's name leaked out and ran down her face. She knew she should be angry at the young commander but she was too exhausted and too overwhelmed with her own actions.

She had wiped out an entire people. The fresh blood of hundreds covered her hands that were already stained by the blood of hundreds and hundreds. How many deaths were caused by her actions? Atom, Caliban, the 300 warriors at the drop ship, Finn, the hundreds killed in the bombing at Tondc, and now the entire population of Mount Weather. Every last one of them was dead including their children and the people that had helped her friends. All of them dead by her hand. Innocent lives that she was responsible for ending. Clarke was too overwhelmed by the thought and dropped to her knees. The tears streaming down her face now.

"What did I do?" The words choked out of her mouth in a hoarse whisper. "What have I become?"

She sat there on the floor of the forest. Her throat was now raw and throbbing from the sobs that she couldn't stop from escaping and her eyes were red and puffy. Her senses began to take in her surroundings again. Her eyes no longer swimming with tears began to focus. She felt the weight of the pistol in her hand. She had forgotten that it was still clenched in her tight grip. She slightly loosened the hold she had on it and stared at the dull black metal. Could this be the solution to the thoughts that plagued her exhausted mind? Could she use the gun to take one more life to avenge all of the lives that she was responsible for? Was the answer so simple? Her thoughts swirled and tumbled as she lifted the gun. Her eyes never leaving the muzzle as it turned towards her and raised up towards her face. Her lips parting slightly as the muzzle rose up. It would be so easy. She imagined how the gun would taste as it entered her mouth. A slight upward tilt and a gentle tug on the trigger was all it would take for there to be a deafening roar followed by an endless silence.

She thought again of the sight of all the bodies covered in radiation burns. Clarke quickly lowered the gun. Her breathing was heavy and labored. She would not allow that thought to be last one she ever knew. The young blonde gasped, "What am I doing?" Even in her darkest moments during her year spent in solitary on the Ark she had never considered taking her own life. She refused to do it now.

Clarke thought again of all the lives that had ended because of her. She knew she needed to pay and suffer for her actions. She wondered if she could ever find a way to live with what she'd done, let alone find any kind of redemption for the horrors she was responsible for.

Clarke's insides began to swirl and bile rose in her throat. Her stomach clenched and she vomited. It was nothing but a small amount of thick yellow acid. There was nothing to throw up but her body tried anyway. She dry heaved for 5 minutes before her stomach finally began to calm down. Standing up on shaky legs she slightly lifted the open left side of her jacket and placed the gun in its holster. Taking a deep breath she focused on her surroundings. She turned west and began walking through the tall trees, beads of sweat dotted her forehead and the bitter taste of bile was still in her mouth.