As an apology for being so inactive lately, have this fireman!AU! This was just so much fun to write…perhaps I should consider expanding it and making it a multi-chapter? ｡◕‿◕｡

Also, I have created a joint account with the wonderful snogfairy and mslead! We have created an AU collab fic starring ex-arsonist Natsu and detective Lucy called Trial by Fire, and you can find the link to it on my profile page. We've had a lot of fun writing it, and it's turned out awesome, so be sure to check it out and leave us some reviews. We LOVE hearing what you have to say.

That being said, happy reading!

Warnings: fluff, natsu dorkneel, lucy dorkneel, general humor, AU

layman's terms

If she didn't know any better, she'd bet that her cat was encouraging her to take this chance. After all, it wasn't every day that a hot, hot fireman asked her on a date after putting out her fire at two AM.

point of origin

The thick, black smoke hung low in the air, smothering her and the other tenants as they stood outside the apartment complex. It filled her lungs, making her cough and hack as she watched more smoke billow out from the various windows and reach for the sky with inky fingers.

"My word," whispered her neighbor, standing there in her nightgown with her hair rollers and half-completed facial. "Who on earth is incompetent enough to set the complex on fire? And in the middle of the night, no less…"

She did her best not to flinch. Instead, she shuffled quietly away and covered her face with her hand, doing her best to not look guilty. Because it appeared as though she was incompetent enough, much to her neighbor's chagrin.

She, Lucy Heartfilia, the tenant of apartment 2B, was incompetent enough to set fire to the complex in mid-July at two in the morning. By burning popcorn no less.

Tucking errant strands of blonde hair behind her hair, Lucy folded her arms and watched the firemen swarm the complex with a sense of embarrassment.

"The fire isn't even that bad," she muttered aloud, more to comfort herself than anything.

She hoped that it just looked worse than it really was—otherwise she would be paying more money than she had to repair the damages. The smoke was thick as it crawled along the outside of the building, leaving sooty stains in its wake.

Lucy covered her face again with a little sigh.

"Lucy Heartfilia?"

The husky voice, so close and unexpected, made the blonde jerk before wheeling around with a frown. That frown slipped as she spied the stranger standing next to her—well, not really a stranger, she noted as her eyes perused his form. His heavy black suit with neon yellow reflective strips around his waist, hips, arms, and legs, and his bulky helmet—complete with oxygen mask—clearly identified him as a fireman.

A fireman who had been called out to clean up her mistake.

Suddenly, Lucy felt ashamed. "Um, yes, that's me…" she murmured in answer to his question.

"Great!"

And she was immediately taken aback by the cheery note to his voice. She didn't think a fireman would be so cheerful after being called out to a fire at two AM because of someone else's incompetence.

Reaching up, the fireman began unfastening his hat. "I just wanted to talk to you about your apartment and stuff."

"What kind of…" Lucy began, and then fell silent when he took off his hat, revealing a mop of unruly, damp, pink hair.

The fireman streaked his gloved hand through the tangled mess of his sweaty hair, leaving behind black tracks of soot. Then he shook his head, flinging stray drops of sweat every which way, before fixing her with a grin.

And Lucy swore time began to slow.

"…stuff…" she finished lamely.

Holy…whoa.

Being a journalist, she'd interviewed many an attractive man but none had been able to stop her dead in her tracks with just their looks alone. She'd prided herself on that. But it looked as though she wouldn't be able to do that any longer…because this fireman had just shut her down with nothing but a silly grin and a cock of his gorgeous head.

Though he was covered in a heavy, fire-retardant suit, his neck and face revealed that his skin was a beautiful shade of bronze. But not just any bronze; it was bronze mixed with honey, the kind of shade only achieved through exotic roots combined with hours of sun exposure.

That beautiful skin was stretched over high cheekbones and a strong chin, which led to wide lips that looked cracked despite the sheen of moisture covering every inch of his exposed skin.

But the real grabber was his eyes.

A green so pure and yet smoldering that Lucy couldn't help but gape wordlessly. Dark, burning green fringed with lashes so thick that it should have been illegal. And his hair was pink. She couldn't tell if it was natural or not, but it certainly had an interesting effect.

He was…well, not beautiful—she wouldn't say he was beautiful, he was too masculine for that. But, dear god, he sure as hell was something.

And all of the sudden, Lucy felt much too self-conscious for her liking as she stood there in her cotton, bunny-printed pajamas and fuzzy slippers.

"Hey, uh, you okay there?" The fireman, looking alarmed at her long bout of stunned silence, cocked his head to the side with a concerned frown. His gloved hand landed on her shoulder as he leaned down to peer into her eyes. "The smoke getting to you or something?"

"What?" Lucy shook her head, swallowing. "Oh, no, I'm fine…" she insisted as she took a little step back.

He smelled like smoke and ash and hot summer nights.

"Well, that's good," the fireman began with a nod, and then fixed her with a little frown. "Your apartment, though, is a little worse for wear. You've got some smoke damage to the inside and your kitchen is a little charred since that's where the original point of ignition was, but other than that it looks okay," he told her as he gestured to her apartment building.

Lucy heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. "The damages are going to cost me a fortune…"

Her pink-haired fireman sent her a sympathetic look. "Well, if you have insurance, it shouldn't be too bad, right?" he said with a small, reassuring smile. Looking back to her apartment, he asked, "Anything of great value in there that you're worried about?"

Great value? Well, she wouldn't really say that anything in her apartment was of great value. Journalists didn't exactly make enough money to afford anything of great value, she thought with a little roll of her eyes.

And on top of that, any spare money that she did have usually went towards looking after her mischievous Happy, who somehow always managed to get into trouble. Sometimes she thought he was more trouble than he was worth; but she would never dream of giving him away.

Speaking of that damn cat, she thought then as she glanced around, she hadn't seen him for at least an hour.

He'd been sitting on the couch when she saw him last.

And then Lucy's heart nearly stopped in her chest. "Oh, my god," she whispered suddenly, drawing the attention of fireman next to her. "My cat! I forgot about my damn cat!" Lucy exclaimed as she slapped her hand down onto the thick sleeve of his uniform and tugged.

"You're kidding me," he deadpanned. "The old cat trapped in a burning building cliché?" The fireman breathed out his laughter with exasperation.

"No," Lucy insisted, wringing her hands in the grainy material of his suit and he fell silent. "I'm being serious! My cat is still in my apartment!"

Her pink-haired fireman sobered up quickly, the cheeky grin replaced by hard professionalism. "Okay, you just wait right here," he said as he unstrapped the radio from his chest and began fastening his hat again. As he stalked back to the smoldering apartment complex, Lucy heard him mumble into the device, "Yo, Scrap-for-brains, we gotta run extrication on apartment 2B. Over."

She also heard the vague, static-filled reply of, "What, the lady forget her damn cat or somethin'? Over."

Lucy, had she not been so suddenly anxious, probably would have flushed with embarrassment. But as it was, she was far too upset with herself to feel embarrassed.

She couldn't believe she'd forgotten Happy.

Sure, he was an annoying little furball sometimes, but he was her cat and she loved him.

"You see, Lucy?" she told herself sardonically. "This is why you can't have nice things."

Because this was what happened when she had nice things. She set them on fire and then left her damn cat in the burning building. After this, she decided, she was going to glue that cat to her side.

If her father got wind of this…

Lucy shuddered and scowled.

No doubt her father would hear about the fire, and she would definitely get an earful about how she "wasn't ready to be out on her own" and how she should "just go back home where she belonged". But if he learned that she accidentally left her cat behind in her burning apartment, he would use that to guilt her into moving back into his house.

And that, Lucy decided, was not going to happen.

"Can't they hurry this up?" whined Lucy's neighbor, Ms. Habbot, a few feet away as she fiddled with the rollers in her hair. The older woman tucked the edges of her robe tighter around herself despite the muggy atmosphere and folded her arms with a pout. "I'm missing my beauty sleep because of this ridiculous mess…"

Lucy's other neighbors joined in the grumbling, and honestly, she didn't blame them. Had she been in their positions, she would have been annoyed too.

Two in the morning and they were all standing outside the apartment complex while it slowly simmered down and the smoke choked them all. Most everyone had been awoken by the horrendous cacophony that was the fire alarm; and to be woken out of a dead sleep by something like that left scars on the soul.

To think this had all started because she'd forgotten about the popcorn on her stove-top.

Lucy sighed again, knowing it would be a long time before she attempted to make popcorn again.

It was mere moments after that thought that she saw the fireman reemerge from the smoking complex, a bundle in his arms. Said bundle was squirming and the poor fireman was having a hard time containing the terrified ball of pure energy as it tried to claw its way up his suit. And as he approached, she could hear the telltale yowling that was her cat.

Relieved, Lucy met the fireman halfway, jogging to him in her bunny-patterned pajamas and fuzzy slippers. "Oh, my god. You found him," she murmured incredulously when she came to a stop just in front of him, reaching for Happy.

The fireman unhooked the cat's claws from his suit and handed the obviously disgruntled thing over with what sounded like a chuckle, the sound warped by his oxygen mask. "Yeah, found him hiding out in the bathroom," he mused as he began to disassemble his helmet again. "And at first I thought the smoke was playing ticks on me," he said as he removed the bulky protection and shook his head with a grin, "but it looks like your cat really is blue under all that soot."

Lucy felt the laughter build in her chest as Happy settled in her arms, meowing his heart out.

Now that he was in familiar hands, the previously hellish cat settled with a certain amount of contentedness. The fireman noticed and snorted at the feline with amusement.

"He got outside last week and rolled in an open container of powdered hair dye at the garage a few blocks down…" she explained, looking down at her blue-tinted cat covered in black streaks and now purring happily. "I tried washing it off, but it looks like he's gonna be blue for a while."

But, hey, blue was better than dead.

"Huh, no kidding." The fireman shook his damp head again and reached up to ruffle his pink hair, revealing a single piercing on his left ear.

Lucy felt herself swallow.

Dear god, why was he so ridiculously attractive?

Clearing her throat and her thoughts, she shifted the cat in her arms and pinned the firefighter with a serious look. "You're a life saver," she told him. "I don't know how to thank you for this…"

He only shrugged, rolling his broad shoulders, and said with all the nonchalance in the world, "Go on a date with me and we'll call it good."

For the second time in an hour, Lucy felt time begin to slow as she gaped at the fireman, stunned.

A date? He was asking her on a date?

She took a step back, blinking at him as his eyes rounded—almost like he was shocked at his own behavior—and then looking down at herself. The fireman she'd basically summoned to her apartment complex at two in the morning and made to fetch her cat was asking her on a date while she was in her bunny pajamas and fuzzy slippers and holding a blue cat covered in soot.

Lucy honestly couldn't decide if this was a joke or not.

Taking her silence negatively, the fireman gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his sweaty neck. The smile he showed her was sheepish. "Hey, don't worry 'bout it. It's all good if you don't wanna go, just figured I'd ask," he mumbled.

And it was only then that she spotted the rosy hue that dusted his cheekbones. It was hard to spot underneath the sweat, grime, and tan skin, but it was definitely there.

He was serious, Lucy realized as she glanced down at Happy, who mrowed up at her.

If she didn't know any better, she'd bet that her cat was encouraging her to take this chance. After all, it wasn't every day that a hot, hot fireman asked her on a date after putting out her fire at two AM.

She'd decided to be a risk-taker and to live her own life the moment she'd left home. It was about time she started acting like it.

Steeling her nerves, Lucy met those startling green eyes and said, "You got yourself a deal."

"Wait, what?" He reeled back, his square jaw going slack. For a moment, his mouth moved soundlessly and his eyes narrowed in confusion. "I can't believe that actually worked," he laughed eventually, eyes lighting up in childish glee.

Lucy lifted a single shoulder. "I need something good to counteract all this bad mojo," she sighed as she gestured to her apartment where the smoke was, thankfully, beginning to dwindle.

Her neighbors, however, were still grouchy as ever.

Beside her, a wide grin on his face, the fireman nodded enthusiastically and jammed a thumb into his chest. "Yeah, well, you're in luck because I'm a pretty good time."

"Oh, are you?" Lucy laughed, one of her brows lifting.

"Cross my heart," he said as he dragged a gloved finger across his breast in an X. "You wanna pick the time and place?"

"There's this little pizza place on Lemon Grove…" Turning, she waved her hand in the general direction of the shop.

It was small, but the pizza was to die for—and it didn't hurt that the owner tended to give her a reduced price. For the wrong reasons, of course, but a reduced price was a reduced price.

"Fortunato's? Yeah, I know the place," the fireman assured, nodding. "Awesome pizza."

Lucy felt her own grin spreading. "Yeah… Does six sound good to you?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Hey, Lame-flame, getcher ass to OIC. Over," came a crackling and irate voice, making Lucy jump.

The fireman, his pink brows punching down as a scowl overtook his features, sighed before snatching at the radio strapped to his chest. "Be there in five. Over." The radio crackled once more before going silent, and he shook his head. "Sorry 'bout that, gotta report back to the officer in charge. Gajeel's got sucky timing as always…"

"No, no." Lucy shook her head, disheveled blonde hair flying. This fairy tale of hers had to end sometime, she supposed. "I'll see you Thursday at six, then?"

"Definitely," he promised, taking a step back. With another grin and a chuckle, he turned and headed back for her apartment and towards the gathering of heavily-suited men there. "Oh," he exclaimed, turning on his heel. He flashed her a smile over his shoulder. "The name's Natsu, by the way."

Natsu.

Very…fitting for a fireman, she thought and couldn't help but smile.

"I'm Lucy," she said back, Happy still purring in her arms.

"Lucy, huh?" A slow grin spread across his tanned face and his white teeth flashed. "I think that's my new favorite name."

…

"Oh, my god, Happy. What was I thinking?"

Mrow.

"…Yeah, you're right. He is pretty hot."

Phew! Hope you liked this! If it gets a good response I might expand on it and put up another chapter or two.

Thanks for reading and be sure to leave your thoughts!

And again, be sure to check out Trial by Fire (the link is on my profile page). I think you guys will really enjoy it (if I do say so myself) and your thoughts and comments are always appreciated and they're so motivating. Thanks again!