A/N: Aaaaand we're back! It feels so nostalgic working with this story again. Between resurrecting White Noise and the announcement about the FF7 remake, I feel like everything's coming full circle! Anyhoo, for those who read the original White Noise, you might notice I've chopped up the chapters a little differently to give them more consistent lengths/amounts of action. And for those of you reading this story for the first time, I hope you'll like it as much as Silence. Once again, all artwork (however poor) is also done by me. Thanks for reading, everyone! – and on with the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX or any aspect of the Final Fantasy franchise.

Noise cuts.

It stabs the darkest, sickest parts of you.

White noise cuts through.

Noise cuts.

It carves like razors in me, too.

– Deathstars, "Noise Cuts"

Chapter 1: Birth

Sunlight reflected off the dust in the air, causing it to shimmer like snow. It would've been beautiful and poetic, if I hadn't had the worst headache of my entire freakin' life. It was worse than the hangover I got after challenging Freya to a pub game of truth or dare (I passed out somewhere between dancing on the counter and shuffling under a chair to be a turtle).

Trying to avoid the blades of sunlight in my eyes, I rolled away and stuffed my face in my pillow.

"Knock it off," Dagger muttered sleepily from the other side of the bed. "Those pillows are expensive…"

"We'll buy new ones…" I mumbled.

I couldn't see Dagger's face, but I knew she was pursing her lips. "It's not like pillows grow on trees, Zidane."

"No, they grow on Chocobos – and besides, we're the freakin' King and Queen of Alexandria. We can snap our fingers and get new pillows sent straight from Treno."

"Not true. When I was little, my father found out I was stealing pillows to build a roof fort. I got caught because it rained on the fort before I could get it inside."

I peeked one eye out at Dagger. "Gods, I love you."

Dagger smirked as she propped herself up on her elbows. "Love you, too."

I groaned and immediately buried my face in the pillow again.

"It's your own fault," Dagger chastised. "If you hadn't stayed out all night doing gods-know-what…!"

"I know, I know…" I yanked the pillow off my face. Dagger was yawning with a hand over her mouth like a posh little princess. "I told you, Beatrix wanted to talk about some stuff and the conversation went on forever."

Dagger raised an eyebrow. "All night?!"

"She was feeling chatty…?"

Dagger gave me a dry look. "Really, Zidane? Beatrix was feeling chatty? You need to learn to lie better."

"I'll take lessons."

"Well, headache or not, we have to get up. We have visitors from Burmecia who will be expecting our best faces!"

I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. "Dagger, I only slept for two hours… can't I bail on this one?"

Dagger smacked me across the face with a pillow. "You most certainly cannot! You're the King of Alexandria! You have obligations and responsibilities! Besides, Freya is coming!"

I sat up and glared at Dagger. "I thought you said these pillows were expensive!"

"We'll buy new ones."

We proceeded to have a two-minute staring contest.

Which I promptly lost.

"As you wish, Your Majesty…" I crawled out of bed, but with each step towards the washroom, my body felt a little heavier than before. It was suffering from some nightmarish concoction of both dread and relief, which was manifesting itself as nausea. Washing my face in the sink, I replayed the night's events over and over in my head. I'd told Beatrix everything… I wanted to feel ashamed, dumping my problems on her, yet I felt so much lighter before.

What's done is done… I thought as I ran my fingers through my hair. It's not like I can take it back anyways…

Returning to the bedroom, I discovered a pair of sleek, navy blue trousers and a white shirt lying on the bed.

"Aw, c'mon, Dagger, you tryin' to turn me into a nobleman?! Freya won't care if I'm wearin' fancy clothes!"

"Yes, but the ambassadors will!" Dagger gave me a sour look as she attempted to de-tangle her hair with a brush. "If I'm going to be stuck in a hoop skirt, you're suffering with me! Besides, those pants aren't worth half a gil anymore. We had to cut a hole in them for your tail."

I lifted the pants off the bed and blinked. So they had. Chuckling, I dragged the clothes on and stepped in front of the mirror. The outfit was ridiculous – it even had silver embroidery running up the sides of the legs.

"Even Kuja would find this tacky…" I muttered. The name caused me to pause, however, and frown at myself in the mirror.

"Are you alright…?"

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Dagger standing in the pale slip of her dress. The white fabric was illuminated by the sunlight. Dagger cocked her head to the side.

"Zidane…?"

I couldn't help but grin. "Sorry, I just… you're so beautiful, Dagger…"

Dagger blushed. "Stop that…! We're supposed to be serious today."

"I can't help it if I married the most beautiful woman on the planet."

Garnet put her hands on her hips and pouted. "Flattery won't get you out of trouble for last night! I was worried you'd fallen off the roof or something!"

I snorted as I strode towards the door. "For goodness' sake, Dagger, I have a prehensile tail!"

As the door shut behind me, I heard Dagger shout, "be back in an hour or you're sleeping on the couch!"

I chuckled as I made my way down the hall. Even Steiner couldn't wipe the grin off my face when he clicked his heels and saluted.

"Your Majesty!"

Okay, truthfully, Steiner's act just made me grin wider. "It kills you every time you have to call me that."

Steiner stared down his nose at me. "If the queen wishes to marry a knave, who am I to deny her happiness?"

"Love you too, Rusty."

Steiner peered at me from beneath his visor. "His Majesty is in awfully good spirits today."

"Well, it's a beautiful day."

Steiner's narrowed his eyes. "What are you up to…?"

I threw up my arms in exasperation. "Why do you always gotta suspect me of something?! I'm just heading downstairs for food and air. Is that a crime?!"

Steiner wagged a metal finger in my face. "That had better be all you're up to! Beatrix didn't come to bed until morning. She said she was forced to stay out because you were climbing the roof of the castle and she thought you'd fall off any moment!"

I gave Steiner a look of disbelief. …I can't believe he believed that. I need to reevaluate my life.

"So that's what this is about," I said with a sneer. "Well, don't you worry, Rusty. I'm not gonna steal your woman."

"M-my woman?!" Steiner spluttered. "How dare – "

By then, I was already gone, leaving Steiner to one of his armor-clanking tantrums. I couldn't really blame him for being angry. Most kings wouldn't dream of wandering the castle hallways alone. Servants are supposed to bring him food, and guards are supposed to follow him everywhere. Unfortunately, I'm not fond of doing things the way you're supposed to, and I made that very clear the moment I received my crown and proceeded to never wear it again. I need my freedom. Steiner, being such a stickler for protocol, had probably developed an ulcer since I took the throne.

Other than freedom, however, there was a darker reason for my insistence on traveling alone. Before grabbing breakfast, I stopped in front of Dagger's childhood bedroom, pulled a brass key from my pocket, and unlocked the door. Once inside, I slammed the door and double-locked it.

"Hey, Kuja…" I muttered. "Beautiful day, isn't i – "

I choked as I was impaled by a pair of dazzling, blue eyes. I actually fell back against the door like a collapsing maiden. Over by the window, Kuja was sitting in his usual chair, hands in his lap, staring intensely at me.

"K-Kuja…!" I spluttered.

Hello, Zidane… Kuja murmured telepathically. He looked absolutely exhausted, and with the stasis spell gone, dark shadows were forming beneath his eyes.

"Kuja, you… you're back…!"

…What gave it away, Zidane?

Well, a few things certainly hadn't changed. "Wow, um… I'm… I'm not sure what to do from here," I admitted. "Uh… are you hungry?"

Kuja returned his gaze to the window. Unlike you, some people don't think about food every moment…

"No, I think about girls every moment." I laughed, but I didn't really find the situation funny. I massaged my temples in a desperate attempt to get rid of my headache. "Okay, let's start over. Welcome back, Kuja."

Kuja didn't respond. I remembered my own disorientation when I awoke, so I didn't take it personally. Besides, I needed those few seconds to figure out what to do…

Holy hell, I'm in trouble… If Dagger finds out – but I can't leave Kuja alone after – uh oh… Freya…

As if reading my thoughts (and he very well might have been), Kuja knit his eyebrows together.

"You were gone a really long time…" I said helplessly. "At least four and a half years… I wasn't sure you'd come back…" I nervously curled my tail around my ankle. "I didn't think… I didn't think you could come back alone…"

Kuja's eyes flashed strangely. Is that what you think…? You think I was alone…?

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and I almost hit the ceiling. A faintly troubled look crossed Kuja's face.

"Zidane, are you in there?!" Dagger shouted from the other side of the door. "The Burmecians have arrived!"

"…just go…" Kuja whispered hoarsely.

"You don't have to tell me!" I hurried to the door. "Just, uh… stay here, obviously. I'll be back in a few hours."

Kuja simply ignored me.

Dagger was watching me mutely as I squeezed myself out of the room. "Sorry about that! I zoned out at the window."

I turned from locking the door and noticed Dagger's dress. The fabric was pearl white, but the bustle was green and trailing along the floor. "Dagger, you look gorgeous!"

Dagger gave me a graceful twirl and the dress fanned out behind her like a fishtail. "You like it? It's horribly uncomfortable, but I wanted to look my best."

"You look like a doll!" I put my arm around Dagger's shoulders and pulled her close as we walked down the hallway. Some of the guards gave us not-so-subtly judgmental looks.

"The ambassadors are just now settling in," said Dagger. "Since they're a bit early, I thought we could join them in the dining hall for breakfast."

"Yes, food. Good idea."

I tried to keep my tone light, but the guilt was killing me. I had no choice but to abandon Kuja until this whole thing blew over.

Normally, eating in the dining room felt ridiculous because the table could seat thirty people, but with twelve Burmecians at the table, it finally seemed appropriate. When we entered the dining hall, twelve long, furry noses turned to greet us.

Beatrix and Steiner were already in position on either side of the door. As Dagger and I crossed the threshold, Beatrix shouted, "King Zidane Tribal and Queen Garnet Til Alexandros XVII of Alexandria!"

I absolutely hated formalities, and it was even worse seeing Freya stifle her laughter as the Burmecians stood and bowed in our direction.

"We thank Your Majesties for their gracious hospitality!" said the head ambassador. I could feel heat rising in my cheeks as I struggled to remember his name. Kelvin…? Kronos…? Dagger's gonna kill me…

"And we thank you for joining us, Ambassador Cillian," Dagger greeted.

Oh, thank goodness…

"Let's take our seats." Dagger smiled in that effortlessly polite way of hers. "The food will be out in a moment."

We took our seats at the end of the table. Freya, who was closest to me, gave me smirk from under the brim of her hat.

"King Zidane… I'll never get over it…"

"Now, now, darling," Sir Fratley patted Freya on the arm. "I think King Zidane is doing a wonderful job!"

"Sir Fratley is too kind," said Dagger, trying not to laugh. I rolled my eyes

"Yeah, yeah, get it all out of your system."

I wanted to keep talking with Freya, but Dagger and I had to amuse the ambassadors. Politics have never been my strong suit, however, and my attention wandered dangerously. Within minutes, my mind spiraled back to Kuja. What would Dagger do when she found out? What would Beatrix do? And if the news spread beyond the castle, Baku would kill me. Tantalus helped me bring Kuja to Alexandria, but they had no idea I kept him in the castle. If Baku discovered how irresponsible I'd been, he'd break more than just my nose.

"Zidane?"

"Huh?"

"Are you alright?" Freya narrowed her eyes at me while Dagger and Cillian conversed about a new treaty. "You seem awfully distracted, considering the lack of bar maids in the room."

"Oh, uh…" I scratched the back of my head. "I'm fine. This conversation's a little over my head, is all."

Freya nodded, looking bored. "I feel the same. This kind of talk is more Fratley's forte than mine."

"Yeah, I don't really – "

Dagger kicked my shin under the table, cutting me off. Freya laughed and then coughed into her fist to hide it. Right, no side conversations… Well, since I couldn't talk to Freya, my mind wandered again. I needed to talk to Beatrix, then contact Mikoto. Unless Kuja was planning to contact her on his own? They'd always had a strong mental connection, but Kuja's wasn't the type to –

"What does His Majesty think?"

"Huh?"

Ambassador Cillian was staring at me like I'd grown a second head. I felt Dagger tense up beside me as the able went quiet. Freya's whiskers quivered.

"I… um… I think that's a great idea," I said, praying I hadn't just agreed to citywide prohibition.

Thankfully, the corners of Cillian's snout turned up in a smile. "Oh good, I agree! After all, if we commission Lindblum to build steam-powered rail cars, we could nearly double our trade!"

Dagger nearly went limp beside me. I could feel my cheeks burning. From the doorway, General Beatrix was literally giving me the evil eye. I tried to ignore her as the Burmecians chattered away. I could hardly eat once the food arrived. The bread felt like paste in my mouth. Dagger mistook my behavior for restlessness and gave me an exasperated look.

"Zidane," she whispered. "If this is too torturous for you, why don't you take a walk?"

"Huh?" I nearly choked on a piece of fruit. "Oh, uh… sure."

Dagger hesitated, then cleared her throat loudly. All the Burmecians turned towards us.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt our meal," said Dagger. " – but King Zidane has a quick matter he must attend to."

"Oh, that's too bad," said Ambassador Cillian.

"He'll return later." Dagger gave me a meaningful look. Freya frowned. She knew there couldn't possibly be an important issue for me to attend to.

"Sorry, guys," I said as I rose to my feet. "I'll return in a few hours!"

"It's no problem at all!" said Cillian loudly. "All hail the King of Alexandria and the hero of Gaia!"

The Burmecians raised their glasses to me. Turning the color of a tomato, I nodded swiftly and ran out of the room.

Beatrix gave me a look that could melt steel. "I'll be escorting His Majesty to his next appointment."

I couldn't decide if I felt relieved or threatened. Thankfully, Beatrix waited until we were quite a ways down the hall before rounding on me.

"Alright, Zidane, what's the problem?"

"Uh… Kuja's back."

"Then get him out of here."

I sighed and wandered over to a window. "Beatrix… tell me what I should do…"

"His Majesty is twenty years old now, and a king. You figured out how to return from the dead, so you can figure this out, too."

I chewed my lip as I watched servants raking the yard below. "I'm gonna contact Mikoto… and then I'm gonna take a trip to the Black Mage Village. I can bring Kuja with me. I've been meaning to check up on the village anyways."

"Sounds reasonable. I'll assist in any way I can. But I must ask: what are you going to tell the queen?"

I frowned over my shoulder. "Whaddya mean? I'm gonna tell her I'm visiting the Black Mage Village."

"Sooner or later, she'll notice Kuja's gone."

"You want me to tell Dagger the truth."

Beatrix smiled thinly. "That's usually a good place to start."

"Maturity is exhausting… and I'm afraid of Dagger."

Beatrix smirked. "You should be."

I turned around and rested my forehead against the cool window. "She doesn't understand."

"You're right, she doesn't," Beatrix agreed. "And unless you tell her what you told me, she never will. So for now, tell the queen you're taking Kuja to the Black Mage Village. She'll just be happy he's out of the castle."

"Yeah, I guess…" My shoulders slumped in exhaustion. "I'm gonna go tell him my plan, then force myself back into the dining hall."

Beatrix nodded. "I'll give the queen an excuse to buy you time."

"Like I'm running around the roof or something?"

"Steiner believed it."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Beatrix… you're too good to me."

Beatrix snorted and flipped her hair. "I know."

I nearly sprinted to go talk to Kuja. Now that I knew he was awake, however, I felt apprehensive outside the door. Sighing, I shoved the key in the lock and slipped inside. Kuja was still sitting exactly where I'd left him. When he heard the door close, his blue eyes flickered in my direction.

You're back early… he murmured in my head.

"I found a way to get out of the meeting."

Some king you are…

Yeah, he definitely hadn't changed. "Well, we don't have a lot of time, so we need to figure out what to do. Can you contact Mikoto?"

Not without ethers.

"Right, ethers."

And the queen…?

"I'm gonna tell her the truth."

Kuja had nothing to say to that. Feeling awkward, I turned back to the door. "Okay, um… I'm gonna go get the ethers… We gotta get this ball rolling."

I power-walked to Doctor Tot's office on the highest floor where he always kept a stash of medicines. Technically, I didn't have a key, but that had never been a problem for Zidane Tribal: burglar extraordinaire. Once I was outside the door, I fiddled with my belt where I kept a tiny pin for emergencies (or playing pranks on Steiner). Glancing around to make sure no one could see, I quietly picked the lock to Doctor Tot's office. Once I heard the click, I stuck the pin back in my belt and let myself in. Sure enough, there were several ethers sitting in a cabinet at the back of the office. Grabbing a quill and an inkpot from the table, I scribbled a quick note.

Sorry for stealing your ethers. I owe you 1500 gil. Don't tell the queen.

– Zidane

Then I fled the scene of the crime. Once I returned, I found Kuja standing by the open window, staring out at the sea. He looked strangely melancholy.

"Three ethers," I announced.

Leave them on the bed… There was a strange hint of resentment in Kuja's voice.

"Uh, you sure…?"

Yes. I know you have matters to attend to.

"Okay… Well, just a warning: I told Beatrix you were awake. Take those ethers before she tries to kill you."

Do what you must.

I paused in the doorway before I left, but Kuja was still staring out the window. Sighing, I slipped out into the hall and returned to the dining room once more.

"Announcing His Highness, King Zidane Tribal!" Steiner shouted.

"Sorry if I kept you guy waiting," I said, returning to my seat.

"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Your Majesty!" said Ambassador Cillian.

The conversation immediately resumed. Freya leaned over and rested a clawed hand on my arm.

"Zidane, is everything alright?"

I forced myself to smile. "Yup! Everything's fine!"

The next several hours moved about as quickly as Steiner's brain. The food was cleared, drinks were poured, and everyone talked until the words became an endless drone. Then there were more drinks, more talking, dinner, dessert, talking, talking…

By the time Dagger announced she was ready to retire, I nearly collapsed on the table. Beatrix and several guards escorted the Burmecians to their guest rooms, but Freya and Fratley lingered.

"So you're staying the night?" I asked them.

Freya nodded. "Fratley and I plan to remain here through tomorrow."

"Good. We gotta catch up on old times!"

"Yes, but for now, we need to catch up on sleep," said Dagger tiredly. I patted her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, you look beat. Let's go to bed."

"Agreed." Freya grabbed Fratley's arm. "We'll see you two in the morning." She tipped her hat as Fratley clicked his heels and saluted.

"Until the morn'!"

I would've laughed if Dagger hadn't elbowed me in the ribs. "Shall we?"

"Definitely. It's gonna take an hour to get you out of that dress."

I guess my voice was a little loud. Dagger blushed, and Steiner looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. As we headed back to our room, Dagger gently touched my arm.

"Are you sure you're alright, Zidane?"

"Yeah, just got a lot on my mind."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Ha ha."

"Well, whatever it is…" said Dagger. "You know you can always talk to me…"

"I know…"

We paused at the top of the stairs. Dagger gave me a meaningful look. "You're going to visit him?"

"Yeah, sorry… I'll come to bed in a minute…"

"Fine, then I guess I'll just have to get myself out of this dress…"

"Oh, don't you worry, I'll be back in time to at least get the slip off."

Dagger turned an even darker shade of red, and with that victory, I headed off to Kuja's room. At night, the halls doubled their guard numbers, so I had to be discreet as I slipped inside.

"Hey, Kuja, sorry to keep you – "

I froze, one hand still on the doorknob.

Kuja was gone, leaving the curtains to billow into an empty room. He hadn't even left the glass bottles of the ethers…

;

The bedroom was dark as Dagger slept softly beside me. I gazed up at the ceiling, trying to will my thoughts to slow so I could sleep. After a couple hours, however, I realized it was futile.

"…Dagger?"

She made a small, tired sound.

"…Dagger, you awake?"

"Mm?"

I sighed loudly. "You know how you said I could talk to you about anything…?"

"Mm… yeah…"

"Did that 'anything' include Kuja?"

I felt Dagger tense beside me. "…Yes…"

I had no choice but to tell her the truth. Things were rapidly spiraling out of control. "Kuja woke up this morning."

Dagger sat up abruptly beside me. "What do you mean?!"

"He's awake. I spoke to him and everything."

I heard Dagger suck in a sharp breath. "Kuja…is awake… in my castle?!"

"Dagger, keep your voice down…" I hissed. "There're guards outside the door!"

Clearly, Dagger didn't care. "Kuja, the most evil man in history, the man who murdered my mother, is awake inside my castle?!"

"Well, I mean, he's not actually inside the castle."

"…What?!"

"Yeah, um… Kuja sorta… disappeared when I wasn't looking… Probably teleported…"

"You mean that monster is loose?!" Dagger shrieked.

I winced in the dark. "Um… I'm guessing he went to the Black Mage Village…"

"Th-that bastard is loose!" I could hear Dagger ripping the blankets off her legs, but I lashed out and caught her arm in the darkness.

"Calm down! Do you really think Kuja would run around wreaking havoc after everything that happened?!"

Dagger stopped kicking off the sheets, but her arm was trembling in my grip. "I would expect anything from that man."

"Believe me, if Kuja didn't make it to the Black Mage Village, then he probably just collapsed somewhere or got arrested." I was trying to comfort Dagger, but all I was really doing was freaking myself out. What if Kuja really had screwed up?! What if he hadn't even gone to the Black Mage Village?! Where else could he go?!

"Zidane, I… I am so upset right now…"

"I know…" I rubbed my forehead tiredly. "And I know you're mad at me. But I promise you, Dagger, Kuja is now out of your life forever."

Dagger wrenched her arm from my grip and cocooned herself in her blankets.

"We'll talk about this in the morning…"

I sighed and collapsed back on the bed.

I'm a dead man...

;

By morning, I'd made my decision – not in my sleep, obviously, but I woke up determined to do the right thing.

My eyes still closed, I rolled over and reached toward Dagger. My fingers swept through air. Surprised, I sat up to find the sheets cold, wrinkled, and abandoned. For a second, I was convinced Dagger'd left me, but no, she wouldn't leave me now after everything, would she?

I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on some clothes. Instinctively, I reached under the mattress for the key I hid there, until suddenly remembering Kuja was gone. Shoulders slumping, I straightened up and carried on with my day. There were several soldiers stationed in the hall, so I asked one of them where the queen had gone to.

"Queen Garnet took an early breakfast," the soldier explained. "But I haven't heard word of Her Majesty leaving the castle."

Thinking I might catch her still at breakfast, I decided to check the dining hall. Dagger wasn't there, but to my surprise, I found Freya and Fratley.

"Hey!" I called out.

The two Burmecians paused in their eating and looked up at the sound of my voice. "Well, well," said Freya. "Looks like His Laziness finally dragged himself out of bed!"

"Won't you join us?" asked Fratley, gesturing towards the table.

"Yeah, sure." I pulled back a chair and threw myself down. "Have either of you seen Dagger?"

Freya tilted her head to the side "Your wife didn't tell you where she was going?"

I shook my head as I plucked a grape from the fruit tray on the table. "She was gone when I woke up."

"Hmm… that's odd." Fratley's nose twitched. "She ate breakfast with us…"

"Really?"

Freya nodded. "She seemed rather upset, but she wouldn't say why. General Beatrix asked to have a word with her, and we haven't seen either since."

"That's… weird…" And ominous.

Freya's eyes never left me, even as she took a sip of coffee. "Zidane, I'm sorry to keep bothering you, but is everything okay?"

"Fine," I lied.

Freya was scrutinizing me like a hawk. "Zidane, I… I know it's been hard for you since… since the Iifa Tree…"

Fratley worriedly touched the back of her hand. "Freya, dear…"

Freya ignored him. "You never told us what happened, so I've always assumed the worst. You disappeared for years without explanation. We're all happy you're back, but surely you can understand why we worry?"

I felt completely ashamed of myself all of the sudden. These people were my friends, yet I kept so many secrets...

"Zidane…?"

"Sorry…" I muttered softly. "I know it's not fair to keep secrets from comrades, but I really want to put the past behind me…"

"But Zidane, we're a part of your past," said Freya. "I've known you for years. You're a cheerful, outgoing young man, but you wear your emotions on your sleeve, and you get carried away when you care about something. And we love that about you, and we respect your decisions, but… I can't help but worry that those decisions are hurting you somehow…"

Freya's gaze was intense. Fratley looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Freya, dear, perhaps I should leave you two to talk alone…"

Freya nodded, but never took her eyes off me. Fratley tipped his hat politely before scampering out of the hall.

"Your boyfriend is way too polite…" I said to break the awkward silence. Freya rolled her eyes.

"Zidane, I'm serious…"

"I know, I know. I understand your concern, but everything's fine, really!"

"Then answer me this," said Freya. "Does Dagger know what happened in the Iifa Tree?"

"…No…" I admitted.

Freya sat back with a sigh. "I suspected as much. You are so stubborn, Zidane! You don't have to tell me what happened, but the least you could do is tell your own wife!"

"She doesn't like to talk about the past," I said meekly. "We both just want to move on…"

"It's Kuja, isn't it…?" said Freya. "He wasn't dead when you returned to the Iifa Tree."

The sad, hopeless look on Freya's face conjured memories of that day, so many years ago, when she lay cold and defeated in the ruins of her homeland. I could still remember the way Kuja stood over her, smiling as he called her a "filthy rat." Freya lost everything that day, all at the hands of Kuja and his Black Mages – and he'd stood in the midst of that destruction and mocked her.

Yet I couldn't forget what I'd seen in Kuja's mind, either, the night he stood alone in the dark, holding a lifeless child. Spiraling into madness, Kuja had blamed everything on Burmecia. Surely, he'd carried that hatred into the city the day it was toppled.

Besides, it wasn't Kuja who wounded Freya that day in Burmecia – it was Beatrix… Beatrix had approved the destruction just as much as Kuja, yet Freya had forgiven her. Freya saw the General as a victim of circumstance. Could she be persuaded to see Kuja in the same light? Freya had caught a glimpse into the past on Terra – she knew what Kuja was and what he had gone through…

…but even Kuja knew his crimes were unjustifiable…

"I know you guys thought it was stupid of me to run back to the Iifa Tree…" I said. "And it's not like I don't get it. Kuja did unforgivable things. What I did, I did for my own peace of mind."

"But Zidane…" Freya gave me a doubtful look. "You don't seem to have any peace of mind. In fact, you seem more troubled now than you ever were."

Freya's words gave me pause. Was it true…?

"Freya, there's… there's something that's been buggin' me..." I said slowly. "When Fratley disappeared, he forgot everything, right?"

"…Yes…?"

"So… was he happy like that?"

Freya suddenly avoided my gaze. "…I don't think Fratley was unhappy… He… he said he spent all those years feeling like there was a hole in his heart, yet he didn't know what was missing, so he couldn't feel sad about it. Fratley admitted that meeting me didn't fill the hole because he couldn't remember ever having lost me, yet getting to know me again has finally put him at ease…" Freya swallowed thickly. "So, I suppose, in that sense, the hole can never be filled, but Fratley is still happy."

"That's how I feel…" I said softly.

Freya gave me a confused look, then her eyes lit with surprise. "I… I see…"

"I grew up without any memories," I said. "There was just an empty void, and the occasional dream of a blue light. I spent my entire childhood feeling like I'd slept through the most important part of my life, and I would've given anything to know who I was. That's why I ran away when I was younger. Problem was, Tantalus was the only thing I knew, so how could I go searching for something I never knew I'd lost?" Years later, I could still feel the sting of Baku's slap when I returned to Tantalus. "By the time you and I met, I'd already given up on learning who I was. I was happy, so what did it matter? But when I met Kuja… when I realized he was the bridge between myself and my identity… doesn't it make sense that his existence would mean at least a little bit to me?"

Freya nodded uneasily. "Yes, of course…"

"I mean, trust me, I wasn't exactly thrilled to find out my own flesh and blood was a monster! I wanted to forget all about Kuja and pretend he had nothing to do with me, yet when all was said and done…"

Freya held up a clawed hand. "You don't have to say anymore, Zidane… I understand… I just want you and Dagger to be happy…"

"We will be," I said as much to myself as Freya. "We might go through rough patches, but I think that's a normal part of marriage. Maybe I'm not the happy-go-lucky kid I used to be, but some really crazy stuff happened four years ago, and it's been hard to get through."

Freya seemed to sag in her seat. "We've all been through rough times, and I think we've all been hardened by it. Returning to the Iifa Tree was foolish, but it was also immensely honorable. Even after everything he did to you, you didn't let Kuja turn you into someone like him. For better or for worse, you followed your own code, and someday, Dagger will come to terms with that."

I gave Freya a shaky smile. "Thanks, Freya… You're… you're a true friend…"

Freya smirked. "Compliment me all you want, you still owe me that bar tab."

I snorted. "I'll pay you back and then some."

Fratley suddenly poked his head into the dining room. "King Zidane, I have found the queen! She's in the library, reading. I told her you were looking for her."

"Oh, uh… thanks." I didn't really want Dagger to know I'd been looking for her, but I knew Fratley meant well.

"Go talk to her, Zidane," Freya urged.

I shoveled a piece of toast into my mouth and stood. "Way ahead of you."

Alexandria's library is massive, but I spotted Dagger right away, thanks to the shimmery gown she was wearing. She was sitting at one of the tables tucked behind the bookshelves, leaning over a large, somewhat battered book. I approached her slowly, but even when I was right behind her, Dagger didn't notice me coming. Finally, I cleared my throat, and Dagger nearly hit the ceiling.

"Zidane!" She squealed like a cat and slammed the book closed. "What is the meaning of this, sneaking up on me?!"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to after the sound she'd made. "Sorry, Dagger! Fratley said you were hiding in here."

"I do not hide, Zidane." Dagger gave me a smoldering look.

"Whatcha reading?" I glanced at the book, but couldn't make out any title.

Dagger shrugged, brushing some invisible dirt off the cover. "Nothing of interest. It was already lying on the table when I got here, but unfortunately, it's quite boring."

"Oh. Well, since the book is boring, uh… I think we should talk."

"You're going to the Black Mage Village."

"I… yes?"

Dagger was staring at me with a strange look on her face. Her expression was serious, but behind the intensity, her eyes seemed soft and sad. "I understand."

I was caught off guard for the second time. "You… you do?"

"Absolutely. Do what you must, Zidane."

Do what you must… Those were Kuja's exact words to me the day before. Something felt off - I was anticipating an epic battle: king vs. queen, man vs. woman, lady vs. tramp, but Dagger hadn't even argued.

"…You're really okay with this? No fighting?"

Dagger gave me a faint smile. "You always do what you think is right, and that's why I love you."

I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Wow… um… I love you, too, but why the sudden change of heart? You were pretty mad at me last night."

Dagger shrugged. "I had time to think, is all."

"Really? Just like that?"

Dagger stood and kissed me on the cheek. "Just like that. Now, go keep Freya and Fratley company, I'll join you three in a moment."

I couldn't help but grin as I exited the library. Gods, I loved that woman.

;

A/N: Thanks for reading, everyone! I'm hoping the next chapter will be interesting. I won't be changing the content of White Noise as much as I changed Silence, but I will be adding some shiny, new material! Hope you enjoy, and I'll see you all next time!

Comments and criticism are welcome!