This is set in season 10, towards the end of the season, and the only thing I have changed is that Elliot and Kathy have been divorced for over a year. I like Kathy, but I want a plausible EO focus, and so have taken her out of the equation. This story is T rated - for violence and non graphic sexual situations, but in keeping with the level you would see on the show. Couldn't help briefly mentioning Elliot's dislike of her boyfriends - for more on my take on that, please take a look at my one shot: Understanding. :-)

A few scenes relate to Undercover (season 9) and PTSD (season 10). It always seemed a bit odd to me that Elliot would not have realised Olivia had PTSD given the amount of time they spent together, so I wanted to visit that.

I found recently that experiencing something potentially traumatic a second time, but getting through it differently can be very healing. In this story Olivia will be in a situation which she will emerge from stronger - but she won't try to get through it alone, because Elliot is her best friend and he would be there for her.

I do not own anything relating to this awesome show, unfortunately.

EO as always :-)

Captain Cragen stood by his office window, looking out across the squad room. It was a busy hive of activity, two separate women had come in to report attacks, and they were still investigating a more complex case which was already stretching their resources pretty thin.

Olivia sat with one of the victims in an interview room, having taken her through the crowded, noisy squad room to somewhere she knew she would feel safer and more able to open up. Fin was out chasing a lead for the case which had kept them tied up for two weeks now, Elliot was interviewing a suspect and Munch was talking to the other victim.

He knew that if they didn't catch a break soon then the likelihood of getting a prosecution was pretty thin, but he knew after two weeks they had each put everything into locating the suspect - a father who had raped and killed the babysitter. The suspect, having taken off and covering his tracks far too well, had seemed to vanish off the face of the earth.

He hoped that today especially no other cases would come in, as they wouldn't be able to handle any more work. He considered that he might have a case for expanding the unit, but was also grateful that his detectives were all working so seamlessly together.

Noticing Fin come in and make himself a coffee before heading straight to the interrogation room to assist Elliot, he smiled a little. All of the detectives on his team were extremely dedicated, and he was thankful for that.

With the arrival of a lawyer for the suspect, Cragen escorted him to the interrogation room where he promptly ended the dialogue. This was common practice but Elliot was still frustrated that he had got nowhere after an hour of interrogating. Exiting the room, he and Fin entered the next room adjoining to Olivia.

"Another thirty minutes and I would've broke him," Elliot said, annoyed.

"Tell me about it Staber, I just been chasing a dead end all day."

"This week has been relentless, we can't seem to catch a break at the moment," Elliot said.

"It'll come. I gotta update the captain," Fin replied, as he headed out towards Cragen's office.

Elliot glanced through the two way mirror, frustrated that the suspect that he was sure was the girl's attacker, had not just talked for a bit longer. The lawyer had the worst timing.

A teenage girl sat in a chair opposite Olivia Benson. Her eyes were red and her clothes and hair in disarray. She had been close to hyperventilating when she first came in, but an hour later, having given Olivia her statement, she had calmed down considerably. Elliot wished that he could have tapped on the glass and told Olivia that the suspect had confessed - but the girl's attacker would be going home tonight.

He had always admired Olivia's skill with victims - this girl was a prime example. Near hysterical when she came in to the busy squad room, Olivia soon calmed her, and when it appeared that she did not need urgent medical treatment, she took her statement. He knew that Olivia would go with her while she had a rape kit done, and he knew that she would help her get home too. He didn't understand why he found it so hard to talk to Olivia recently - perhaps it was just because they were working on multiple cases and just didn't seem to have time to even pause for thought.

After Olivia left with the victim, Elliot took out his cell phone and sent her a message.

- Let's get a coffee once you're finished.

He paused, then hit send, wondering why he felt the need to hesitate - after all, he was simply catching up with his partner. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he decided to send another message:

- Doesn't matter how late it is, been a crazy week.

Putting his phone back in his pocket, he looked up as a man entered the squad room, looking around expectantly.

"Excuse me, I want to report an assault," he said.

Elliot sighed inwardly, as he headed over to the man and got right back to work.

MARY'S DINER

It was almost three hours later when Elliot, now sitting in a diner not far from the precinct and holding a mug of coffee in one hand, heard his phone beep to indicate that he had a message. Picking it up he took a look.

- Free now - still want that drink? Liv.

He smiled at her message before putting down his coffee and taking his phone in both hands, typing her a reply.

- I'm at Mary's - wanna meet me here?

Within seconds she replied.

- Sure, be there soon.

He put his phone down and picked his coffee back up, taking a sip as he sat and waited.

Olivia entered the diner twenty minutes later, as Elliot was on his second coffee. He noticed her before she spotted him and smiled slightly, waving to her as her eyes scanned the room.

She paused as she spoke to the passing waitress, ordering her drink and then walked over to join him at the table.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

"It was rough, but I dropped her off at her mother's so she won't be alone tonight," she said, as she shrugged off her coat and sat down.

"That's good," Elliot replied, swallowing a mouthful of coffee. "Cragen got a call about a potential case - looks like something quite involved - as if we had the time for more. Is it just me or is it getting sicker out there?"

"Seems like that sometimes," she said, leaning back against the cushioned seat, suddenly feeling tired as she noticed the clock on the wall which reminded her of how few her hours of sleep had become lately.

"So what is the case?" she asked.

"Some cult, a girl reported being held against her will by them. She walked into the precinct earlier today - disclosed sexual assault but didn't get further than the front desk. She turned and ran so we gotta try and track her down."

Olivia looked slightly uncomfortable as she pondered what he had just told her, until Elliot spoke again.

"So how was your date the other night?"

"Robert? Well...I don't think that's going anywhere," she shrugged.

"Really, I thought it was going well - its been what...three months?"

"You only don't hate him because I haven't let you meet him yet El!" Olivia joked.

"What's wrong with him then?" Elliot asked.

"Nothing, but you tend to...dislike.. anyone I go out with," she replied with honesty.

"I just want you to find the right person Liv, someone that's good enough for you."

She smiled and thanked the waitress as she placed her coffee on the table in front of her.

"Well this one definitely wasn't," she said sardonically.

Elliot immediately looked concerned.

"Why Liv? Anything you wanna tell me about?"

"It's fine - we just aren't right for each other, that's all. Now can we stop talking about my lack of a love life please!"

"OK...I just assumed you were happy with the guy…."

Olivia sighed and took a sip of her coffee before looking at Elliot.

"He just seemed a bit too interested in the job you know, one of those," Olivia replied with a shrug.

Elliot studied her carefully, not quite believing her easy dismissal of his concerns, and equally as unable to shake the feeling that he should push her to talk about it.

Olivia met his scrutinizing gaze and shook her head.

"Can we just drop it please?"

"Liv… what's the real story?" he said, deciding not to let her dismiss this so easily.

"El, it's fine really. I just…" Olivia paused struggling to find the right words so that she wouldn't ignite Elliot's interest. "I was getting uncomfortable with his interest in the job - too many questions. Maybe that's just me being suspicious, I don't know. He wasn't at the same level of some of the other guys I've met though," and she looked at Elliot, expecting a remark at her admission - and was surprised when he didn't react.

"You gave me nothing on him, you know," Elliot said.

"What do you mean?" asked Olivia.

"Well, you were pretty guarded about his personal information and I only had a first name to go on."

"To go on for what?" Olivia paused, confused before realisation took hold. "Oh God El, please don't tell me you were checking up on him."

"I couldn't, you didn't give me enough...but did you?"

Olivia cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed to admit the fact that she had done herself, exactly what she had prevented Elliot from doing.

"Yes," she sighed. "He doesn't have any charges against him but he has been arrested twice. I was already….uncomfortable and then I checked him out on the system and...well I ended it last night."

"Really, just like that - what did you find out? Why were you uncomfortable?" Elliot asked, his voice taking on an edge of concern..

Olivia sighed, tensing as she began speaking.

"He was arrested because of a parent's accusation about sexual assault on a 15 year old girl, but the charges were dropped. A year later he was arrested at a raid on a 'religious retreat' - it was part of a group who meet regularly in the city. There were no … accusations were made, but then dropped "

"Liv..that's really concerning," Elliot said as he studied her response carefully.

"You don't have to tell me that! As soon as I got the police report I ended it with him."

"He take that OK? I mean...he doesn't sound like the most stable person," Elliot asked cautiously.

"He wasn't happy, but he didn't get physical or anything if that's what you mean."

Elliot relaxed visibly at Olivia's words, and returned to his coffee now that it had cooled somewhat.

"He is still part of that group El - I've... been with him to a meeting."

"What? When did you get religious?" Elliot asked, surprised.

"I didn't, but he is, and he had been talking about it more and more - it was something that was important to him, and I wanted to show him I was taking on board what mattered to him. If I had known about his record I never would have got that far."

"Did you ask him about the arrests?"

"Yeah. He...said the leaders of his group have been scapegoated and no one there has ever harmed anyone...I don't know though El. I only went once, and it seemed pretty misogynistic to me," she sighed. "I was really uncomfortable." her hesitation was obvious to Elliot.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Did the girl who came in today say what the name of the group was?"

"Um...yeah, I think it was The Sanctum," he paused. "Liv, is it connected?"

Olivia sighed and brought the mug to her lips, wincing as she swallowed down the hot coffee more quickly than she had intended before placing it back down on to the table and looking at Elliot.

"Sometimes El, I would just like my personal life to be a little more uneventful."

"What do you mean?"

"Robert's 'religion'...it's The Sanctum."

PRECINCT

The next day Olivia arrived early, she headed straight to Cragen's office, and was relieved to see that they were the only two there, and she brought him up to speed on what she knew about The Sanctum. Cragen was undoubtedly surprised at the sudden insight they had gained into an otherwise potential dead end, but slightly cautious about the turn that the conversation was now taking.

"I've thought about this for half the night Captain, I have known him for three months and I've been there. I can easily infiltrate - I only ended it with him on Tuesday - reconciling would be easy - and I could get inside, find out if they have any other retreats, and locate the girl."

"Olivia, I need to think about this," He said, not without an air of discomfort.

Olivia looked slightly offended at Cragen's hesitance ..

"I can tell him I want to have some distance, but think it might work between us if we both just have some time - and that his group 'reached me'. That'll get us in."

"I just want to be sure you are not getting into a situation we can't control from our end, Liv. If you're in there, you'll be unarmed and our ability to back you up will be minimal. I don't like it."

Olivia sat down, clearly annoyed, but full of adrenalin from the plans that had been racing through her head since she woke, earlier than planned, having been unable to put the case out of her mind,.

"I don't want to ignore my gut again Olivia - I should have listened to my instincts last time but I didn't and you got hurt."

"This is different - he knows I'm a cop, their members come from all different backgrounds, all I need to do is play along, pretend that I buy their spiel," she said, quickly dismissing the captain's words.

Cragen sat back in his chair and looked at Olivia, feeling a big sense of unease about her plan. He took a long pause before giving a reply.

"Are you ready to go undercover again Olivia?" he finally asked, and that question came with with an air of genuine concern.

"Captain, I'm fine, I can handle this - I want to do this."

"Go and compile everything that you have on them, names, locations, whatever you witnessed when you were there. I will give it some thought and we can talk later, once I have an idea what we're up against here. I'm not going to take a chance of putting you at risk, Olivia."

She gave a sigh and began to walk out of the door, before turning back.

"I'm the only way in Captain, and that girl came to us asking for help for a reason."

He leaned back in his chair, considering her words as he watched her leave his office.

OLIVIA'S APARTMENT

Olivia's dreams were filled with images that she wanted out of her head and feelings that wore her down - weakened her, made her vulnerable. She woke at 3 am, the dream still fresh in her mind and the feeling of unease not shifting. Glancing at her phone, she willed it to ring so that she had a legitimate reason to be pacing her apartment in the middle of the night, and not letting her mind wander back to her last undercover operation.

Try as she might, she couldn't shake the swarm of negative emotions which she had woken up to. Her conversation with Cragen had taken her right back to the day that she had convinced him to let her go undercover at Sealview, and despite feeling positive that she could handle it, when he expressed his concern it brought everything back to her.

She glanced back at her clock - it was a long way to go until she could arrive at Cragen's office at a sensible time. If he knew that she had been awake since 3am unable to shake the images which had come back with a vengeance to haunt her, he would never approve the operation.

Sitting down on her couch, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes hoping that sleep would come easily, so that she wouldn't appear exhausted the next day.

PRECINCT

Olivia was one of the first to arrive, but as soon as she reached her desk she could see that the captain's office was full. From her perspective by her desk, she could make out three men - they appeared to all be talking with relative calm and composure, and Olivia assumed this meant they were likely to be law enforcement officials in some capacity.

"What's going on in there?" Elliot's voice came from behind her.

Turning to look at him, she smiled appreciatively as she noticed he carried two cups of coffee.

Holding one out to her, she accepted it and sat down.

"Thanks, just what I needed," she said,

Elliot joined her, taking his place at his desk opposite hers.

"Why are you here so early?" she asked.

"I figured you would be, so I may as well join you," he shrugged.

Olivia gave a small smile of appreciation, before looking up as Cragen's door opened.

The three men exited the door and Cragen escorted them out, walking past the detectives desks toward the elevator.

When he returned, he headed back toward his office, pausing at the door as he turned and spoke.

"Olivia..." he said, not needing to finish his sentence.

Olivia rose and walked toward his office.

"Who were they?" she asked, taking a seat opposite his desk.

Cragen closed his door and leant against his desk.

"Olivia, I did give this some serious thought and I was not going to approve your request."

Olivia got to her feet, preparing herself for an argument, when Cragen raised his hand to silence her.

"But - the FBI have been here for two hours, I've reached a point of compromise that I think will work for everyone. Olivia, I don't doubt your capabilities for a second, but I do not want to drop you into something like this just yet. I think you need more time before you take an op like this."

"What happened last year would not affect my ability to do this, captain," she began, irritated at herself when she felt tears prickling behind her eyes. Determined not to reduce herself to crying, she took a deep breath and focused, shaking off the effects of her lack of sleep which were wearing her down already, "I can handle this, I promise you."

"I don't doubt that for a moment Olivia, but I have a duty of care to you."

"I was with you in the interrogation room Liv, you said he tried to rape you - and I have regrets about how the whole situation was handled - you needed more support than you got."

"Captain," Olivia began, momentarily closing her eyes as her tears abated and frustration took hold. "I'm fine! I didn't need any help. You can't seriously stop me from doing my job because of this!" she said, her emotions beginning to charge her words.

Cragen sighed.

"My answer to your request was no Liv, but I was left with the choice of you going with the FBI or convincing them that we should run the op, so you'll have our people watching your back, but with their involvement. I won the case, it's a compromise I can go with," he said firmly.

Olivia sat down, relaxing somewhat now that she knew that she did not have to fight for this.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Thirty minutes later, Munch and Fin had arrived and were already deep into the multiple cases they were juggling. Elliot was doing his best to give them his attention but his mind was elsewhere, wondering what olivia was doing.

"Hey Stabler, I said, do you have the witness statement?" Fin said, irritated.

"Sorry," Elliot replied, reaching to a stack of folders on his desk, before hesitating.

"Um...which one?"

"The one I asked you for three times - the Masterson case," Fin continued.

"Yeah...here ya go," he said, producing a file and passing it to Fin.

"What's Liv up to in there?" Elliot said, his question aimed at no one in particular.

"Well, you tell us, what's your partner done to be in there for this long?" Munch asked.

Cagen suddenly opened his door and they all looked up, making no doubt as to what they were all discussing. Elliot was relieved when Cragen called them inside.

Cragen briefed them, and handed over to Olivia once the practicalities were explained, Olivia filled her team in on everything she knew about The Sanctum. They all listened intently, Elliot growing increasingly tense as Olivia explained how her ex boyfriend's behaviour had become stranger over time, as he asked more questions about her work and pushed for information - which she did not give.

"Olivia is therefore our link to this organisation, and I agree that her involvement is invaluable here, but - I want one of our people in there with you Olivia. I will not send any of my people into an op without someone I trust watching their back."

"I'll go," Elliot said, wasting no time in volunteering.

"El, are you sure?" Olivia said.

"Absolutely. It's not an issue. I'm your partner. If you're doing this, then i'm going with you," he said with a finality that the others knew would mean any challenge would be futile.

Cragen sat back in his chair and observed them as Olivia took over, relaying the information that she had on the cult.

"When do we leave?" Elliot asked.

"Two days," Olivia replied.

"OK, two days to work up a believable scenario to get both Olivia and Elliot through the doors and gaining the trust of these wackos. What's the game plan?" Munch asked.