Off.
He had been turned off.
Shut down. Deprogrammed.
And then set on fire and left to die. Forgotten.
He hadn't even known that he could... be turned off...
Thoughts... They didn't come easily... anymore. They... seemed incomplete... hardly coherent. Why?...
Off. Right. He'd been turned off. Why? Tenma... dad... But – that didn't make any sense... Why would Father turn him off? Father loved him; he remembered. When he'd first come online Father had showered him with attention – something he hadn't done before (before? Was there anything before coming online? His data core was so scrambled...) and Tobio knew that his father loved him. Father never left his side once he came online. They did everything together – fishing, games, trips to the park, home schooling...
Learning was very easy for him. Ever since he came online he realized his thought processors were much faster and held more memory than the old Tobio... huh?... Father seemed to recognize this difference too. Tobio could tell when Father gave him worried glances that he didn't think Tobio could see. Father knew he was different... different from... what?
Maybe... maybe it was that difference... why he was turned off...
What did the difference mean? Why did it lead to him being turned off? Was it because he didn't love Father enough? Was he too smart? Was he too different?...
Father used to say he was... special. He was different from other robots (was that the difference Father had seen? - But he already knew that...) he had... kokoro. Special... Father used to call him special...
He didn't feel special now. He felt... numb. Numb because... his brain felt scrambled... his heart ached (his special kokoro heart – wasn't that what he'd said?! As if even Father believed it!... Turned of...) and... and now he was empty and numb...
How could Father do this? Didn't he like that Tobio was different? Special? Didn't he have kokoro? Shouldn't that mean he couldn't (shouldn't) be turned off? Why would Father – no... not Father... Tenma.
And this thought was clear; it rose above all the other scattered thoughts hammering at his mind: Father hadn't turned him off... Dr. Tenma had. Tenma was very different from his father. He was not kind. He did not love Tobio. He didn't realize how special his kokoro was. Dr. Tenma had turned. Him. Off. Set him on fire. Left him there. To die.
But... where had Tenma come from? It had just been Tobio and Father (Father had insisted on that) up until... shut down. That's when Tenma showed up. Was tenma the one who made Father afraid of him?... None of this made sense anymore...
Maybe things could be simpler now. He didn't have to worry about the strangeness of Father od Tenma if he was deprogrammed. He could just be him... or not worry... was he still himself if he wasn't on?... If he couldn't think... feel... act...
For some reason these thoughts made him feel... sad...if he were awake, he felt he would cry... why?
Everything came back to that question... why?
Why...
Wh...
Thoughts...
...slipping...
...fading...
And then everything was truly blank; no more cunfusing, incomplete thoughts.
...
"Hello Tobio!"
Huh? Thoughts... scrambling... what had he been thinking of?... What had happened? He could remember... wait, he didn't remember anything.
Finally he looked up at the face who had spoken to him. His eyes widened. What a strange face – such a large nose...
Meanwhile the man had continued talking, "No, that's not right, this is your new life, I think you should have a new name. Uh... how about uh, mmm – Astro! Welcome to the world astro!"
Astro... he smiled. What a kind man. So much like... like... someone he once knew. But – he had no memories... he ignored these thoughts to listen more to this kind man.
"But listen to me blather! Sorry, let me introduce myself! I am Dr. O'Shay and I will be taking care of you from now on. Now that's enough from me for now, how are you feeling? Are you ok, Astro?"
The newly dubbed Astro thought about this question posed to him. Things in his head still seemed oddly disjointed but he wasn't hurting; he din't feel sad or happy. He was ok.
"Yes." Astro decided he would get up so he could better talk to O'Shay and nearly fell on shaky legs.
"Woah! Slowly Astro! You seem to be reajusting. Tell me can you... remember anything?" O'Shay looked worried and... sad?
"No. Should I?" Astro responded. O'Shay looked a little sadder. Suddenly he shook off his mood and pushed a smile on his face.
"Nevermind. We've got a lot of work ahead to get you back into top shape. You're going to be a very important robot, Astro. I just know it!" Astro wondered how his mood could shift so quickly... he guessed Dr. O'Shay was right – there was a lot for him to learn. So he walked gladly with his new friend, excited for this new adventure he felt was just starting.