WARNING: Will be rated M later. Future chapters will contain mature content.

THIS WILL ONLY BE EIGHT CHAPTERS. The first two will be when Sora's 10, the next 11, and so on. The final chapter will be his 16th year of life.

Enjoy…?

Chapter 1: Boys Don't Cry

Crying doesn't define what makes a man—or a woman for that matter.

I die at the end so please don't expect anything pleasant to come from my story. You'll only find darkness consuming what could've been light—what could've been hope.

Most people don't want to hear something like that, because they don't want to take the time to try and understand it. Murder is like rape—a serious issue, but it makes everyone uncomfortable so they keep quiet about it… but if you're willing to listen to me, I'll talk. I'll tell you everything that happened to me—what he did to me—how he killed me because he didn't understand…

If you can't take it, I suggest you forget I was here, like most often do… I'm used to being forgotten; I'm used to feeling lesser than most.

But if you stay…

Thank you.

Now, all of my troubles started six years ago at the Strife house—over there on Garden Street. Every morning I'd have to guess whether I should call Tifa mom or dad. She used to make it easy because she'd wear dad's clothes on days when she wanted to be a man, and her regular 'Tifa' clothes on days that she wanted to be a woman. That was up until the night before, I guess. After that night, Tifa stopped leaving me hints.

The next morning she yelled at me because I accidently called her 'mom.'

Even though I apologized profusely, she kept giving this look like I'd tried to punch her in the face—which was physically impossible for a ten year old of my short height to do, unless she decided to spontaneously kneel so I could try—but I didn't mean to upset her. I thought that's what she wanted to be called. I promise—on my grave, I promise! She was even dressed in her 'Tifa' clothes to go to work again, so I really did suspect I was right that time…

But I was wrong—painstakingly so, because Tifa literally screamed it at me for the first time in all of my existence. She said, "Sora! You don't get it! You're supposed to get it!"

But I thought I did get it… Sometimes there was a lot to 'get' and I couldn't understand the way Tifa wanted me to.

She was in her room now, crying because of me—because I'd hurt her feelings. I'd never done that before...

I huffed, wishing she'd—I mean, he'd…

There I go again… That day, she wanted to identify as a man. So, let me start over, paint a better picture...

I huffed, wishing he'd come out of there while I sat in front of his room door. The blue carpet was cold and the white walls had holes in them from when he'd thrown his heels at my dad, Cloud, earlier.

Tifa was being a drama queen.

I couldn't get it right all the time… so sue me.

"Pouting won't help," Cloud said as he waited for me to stand. He was frowning at me, like I was the problem here. It was always like this behind closed doors, but when we were outside we'd put on a united front. I always made sure to smile at Cloud inside the house anyway, though. It was better this way, so he didn't know how much that accusing glare affected me. He always said, 'Boys don't cry,' so I didn't.

But here's a fun fact: I cried all the time at night. That way nobody could see me when I was alone in my bed. It was the easiest place to vent to myself, the only place I was physically alone—although emotionally, I always felt alone unless Riku and Kairi were nearby.

The more you know.

Roxas cried all the time when he lived at our house, and dad never liked it, but he moved out when I was nine, in August, the minute he turned eighteen, and he only visited on holidays. He looked more like dad than I did, and they both had blond hair and bright, blue eyes.

I got dad's eyes, too, but my hair was dark brown—it wasn't as dark as Tifa's, though. Roxas used to say, "It's because you're the baby, so you're supposed to look different and cute." He even left me that in a note on Christmas morning; it was on the same night he killed himself in the guest bedroom.

At the end of the note, he said, 'None of this is your fault.'

I believed him… but there were times when I couldn't help but blame myself. Tifa and Cloud always blamed me for not understanding—even though I tried to.

I never told Cloud and Tifa about the note Roxas left me, but I made sure to carry it around in my pocket—just like I carried the image of finding his body that morning forever in my thoughts. That way, I'd always have Roxas with me—always.

Cloud was still frowning at me as we went downstairs. He was dressed in an all black suit and the keys to the Ragna Sedan were in his hands. That was Tifa's car, and Cloud usually preferred his motorcycle, but today he needed to drive me school.

It was obvious that Tifa wasn't up to it.

Tifa wasn't going to drive me to school because I'd upset him.

It was Tifa's world in our house.

I hated that house… I understand why Roxas killed himself. I just wish he could've given me a quick heads up or at least let me go with him. That's what he'd always say: We'll go together.

But we didn't. I was still stuck here, with this—with them—with Tifa and Cloud…

"Dad?" I asked, peering up at him. I knew he was going to punish me again. I could feel the tingling sensation of injustice as he glanced down at me and crossed his arms.

"…You're grounded, Sora," he said quietly. There it was.

I didn't understand why I was grounded, of course. In my mind, I'd always imagine myself asking 'what for?' But I knew the answer: just because…

"W-Why?" I asked. "She—" I shook my head, blinking as I quickly corrected myself. "He was dressed as a girl. So, I… I thought—"

"He's identifying as a man today, though," Cloud said. "You can't refer to him as 'her' and 'she.' That makes Tifa upset."

Everything makes Tifa upset, I thought.

"So, if mom's—Tifa's identifying as man, and Tifa was wearing girl clothes, does that mean Tifa is also identifying as a cross dresser?" It was an innocent enough question, and I could tell he was contemplating it over in his mind by the surprised look he gave me before he gazed straight ahead. I figured this was going on his list of Weird Things My Ten Year Old Says. Every parent had a list, whether it was mental or on plain paper. I bet he'd marked this right beside my notion that animals could talk, and a mouse was capable of using a giant key to fend off his enemies.

It could happen.

"Don't say that again," Cloud warned. The sharp glare he gave me was enough to make me shy away by lowering my head and backing away. My smile had begun to fade and everything felt out of place.

"I… I don't know why you keep grounding me, dad," I said. I took another step back when he gave me a cross look, but I continued speaking. "I don't understand." That was the truth, and I wanted to burst into tears. Why couldn't anyone in that house ever make sense?

It would've spared them from having to endure my funeral—and Roxas'.

Maybe that's why Roxas killed himself, because it was always like being stuck inside the Bizarre Room in Wonderland—going this way and that but always ending up in the same place—nowhere.

I really wish Roxas were here…

Cloud and I waited downstairs beside the front door when we heard Tifa come out of her—his—ugh! When Tifa came out of their room, he was stomping loudly, and he trudged all the way downstairs until we were in view. After that, he paced towards us, frowning at me. His long, dark-brown hair was down, and he was in a black skirt with a white business shirt. His jacket matched his skirt, and his black heels were in his manicured hands.

"I'm driving Sora to school, Tifa," Cloud said quietly. "Is that okay?" Man of the house right there, always asking…

Tifa was glaring at me as he stepped into his shoes. "I don't care," he sniped. "Just get him out of here, Cloud." The loving look he gave Cloud made me want to gag, especially when he kissed Cloud on the lips. "Yuffie's taking me to a business brunch on the other side of town. She should be here soon." Sometimes I liked Yuffie better than Tifa. She wasn't a mother figure, but she was a nurturing figure in a way—when she wasn't calling herself a ninja.

Cloud nodded, touching my shoulder as he opened the front door, leading me out. "We'll see you soon, Tifa."

"See you," he replied back.

"Bye," I said softly, offering her my signature smile.

Tifa didn't even wave as he slammed the door behind us.

As we walked down the brown porch steps, I glanced up at Cloud, huffing. "I don't understand why I'm grounded for trying to be on her—his side." When I reached the last step, I stomped through the grass to get to the driveway, where the Ragna Sedan was parked, still fuming. "This isn't fair." I suspected that even normal children would call this child abuse—physical and emotional.

"Yes it is," Cloud insisted. "And you know you're too young to be sitting in the front."

"I'm ten," I protested, giving him puppy dog eyes. It used to work, but even my smile didn't work after out therapy sessions started. I think Cloud hated my smile… It was happy, an emotion that he lacked.

"Big accomplishment, Sora," he humored me. He pointed to the back seat. "Move it, so we won't be late."

When Cloud parked in front of the school, he was looking at me from the rearview mirror—almost like he didn't know what to say. "Tifa just needs time." Or her pills… I thought. Tifa hated me right now.

"She never takes her medication," I murmured, peering at him curiously. "She says she doesn't need to take it." She needed to take something if she was going to snap at me for every little thing.

"Stop calling him—"

"TIFA IS A SHE!" I shouted, feeling my eyes water. "TIFA CAN REPRODUCE—SHE GAVE BIRTH TO ROXAS AND ME—EVEN IF SHE HAS TWO PARTS THE DOCTOR SAYS SHE'S STILL A WOMAN BECAUSE OF THAT—SHE'S STILL A WOMAN, DAD!"

There, I said it.

I felt somewhat better… somewhat.

Cloud took in my livid form while I tried to stop shaking. My nostrils were flared and I was gripping the sides of my hair, rocking back and forth. There was only so much I could take, and our therapist said it was okay for me to yell at them sometimes, especially if they mistreated me. He also said it was okay to dial the cops whenever Cloud would punish me for doing something that 'upset Tifa.'

"I… I know, Sora," Cloud spoke up. "But she identifies as a man today, so that's what I refer to her as."

"So, I have to do it too, just because you say so? Just because she won't cut her penis off—"

I quieted when he reached into the back seat, closing my eyes while I waited on him to hit me. I knew I'd been disrespectful, and I felt guilty for even saying it as soon as the words had left my mouth.

Tifa didn't deserve that…

I gulped when I felt a firm hand stroke my brown spikes.

"It's going to be okay, Sora."

I peeked one eye open before slowly opening the other, pouting at him. In a low whisper, I asked, "…Is that what you said to Roxas?" There was no malice in my voice, only innocence. Roxas had been such a tortured soul while he was walking this earth.

It was like he was trapped in darkness, and in turn he allowed it to consume him. I really missed my big brother.

Cloud answered with something I expected, something that made me think lesser of him. "...Have a nice day at school, Sora," he told me. Cloud had given up me—on Roxas—on our family…

I was alone.

I tried to offer him a weak smile anyway, though—classic Sora. He didn't have the right to see how much his quiet sentences hurt me. "H-have a nice day at work, dad!" It sounded forced and bogus.

"I'm going to check you out early, so we can go to our therapy session, alright?"

My smile faded. "Will she be there?" I couldn't talk like I wanted to if Tifa came.

Cloud was giving me that same, disapproving look, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Yes, Sora. He will be."

I glanced out the window while I sat back and folded my arms. It was draining to be a people pleaser all the time. "Okay…" Riku and Kairi were waiting on the steps of the school to greet me, and I could tell from the car that they knew Cloud was making me upset.

Kairi had red hair and blue eyes, while Riku's eyes were aqua, and his hair was silver. He often kept it long—as long as Kairi's—and even though they had different physical features, their eyes were always the same. They were sad, like mine.

They knew what was going on.

"You never answered my question," I spoke up, glancing at my father. "About Roxas…"

Cloud parted his lips to speak, but he abruptly shut them, opting to shake his head instead. "Get to class." End of conversation, as usual...

As I opened the door and stepped outside, I slammed it shut behind me. I didn't know it then, but he was watching me from where he stood. Who would've thought my murderer had always been right there? Talk about easy access…

...

A/N: So, in one of my courses, our professor went over the different types of 'gender specific roles' that everyone plays in society. She mentioned something about intersex and how the definition was slightly wrong, because she knew of an intersex person who identified as both. In the dictionary, it says that Intersex people identify as neither male nor female. Idk why I decided to write this, but it's out now, and I've got an urge to keep going when I get some more free time.

You're welcome to leave a review, or an alert or whatever you'd prefer if you have time to spare. I'll gladly accept it. :) I'll admit, this story may not be what some are used to, but give it a try if you can.