7

Title: "Second Thoughts"

Author: Darkover

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to "Dungeons and Dragons," the animated series, nor do I own the rights to the role-playing game upon which it was based. No violation of copyright is intended or should be inferred. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so please do not sue me.

Summary: Eric made a choice, and must live with the consequences.

~ooo0ooo~

Sometimes he wonders if he made the right decision.

When Dungeon Master had shown them the way home *at last,* a way they could get out of the crazy world they were in and back to the one from whence they came, Eric had been relieved. He had thought the others—Hank, Sheila, Bobby, Diana, and Presto—would all be overjoyed. They could go home at last. That was what they had been trying to do for so long. That was what they all wanted, wasn't it?

Except it seemed it wasn't that simple. Dungeon Master, conniving to the end—Eric had never trusted the little guy as much as Hank and the others seemed to—had offered them a chance to stay, to help him right wrongs and all that, in the world of Dungeons and Dragons. After all, they now knew where the portal that would take them home was located, and unlike some other ways they had previously encountered, this one wasn't going to disappear any time soon. So whenever they decided to go back home for good, it would still be there. Couldn't hurt to stay a little while longer, could it? Might even be fun. And Hank, do-gooder, couldn't resist an appeal from Dungeon Master to right a few wrongs. Bobby didn't want to leave the stupid unicorn. Sheila wouldn't leave her brother, and Hank didn't want to leave Sheila. Even then, when they were all still kids, Eric could see that their fearless leader had begun to get sweet on the redhead.

It was Diana and Presto who had surprised him. Diana hadn't even had to think about it much. She announced that she had already been thinking that staying where she was wasn't such a bad idea, because in this world, unlike the one they had all come from, nobody ever gave her grief or a hard time because of her race. In a world where there were dragons, orcs, unicorns, and all sorts of sentient non-humans, humans of different colors were hardly even noteworthy. And she hoped her friends would stay, but if they didn't want to—well, she wasn't going back, at least not just now.

Eric had appealed to Presto then. He thought for sure Presto would come back with him, if anyone did, because he and Presto had been buddies before they met up with the others. Presto usually listened to Eric, even when no one else did, and Presto usually did as he was told. But the kid had gulped and hemmed and hawed, and finally admitted that after seeing—and even sometimes doing—real magic, he just couldn't go back to doing card tricks. He didn't want to go back to a world where magic was regarded as dumb kid stuff, or fake.

Eric had gotten mad then. That was a bad idea, he realized it now, but at the time the others' choices, especially Presto's, had seemed like a betrayal. They were friends, they had hung out together, especially he and Presto. They had all been trying to get home, that had been their quest in the first place, had they all forgotten that? Eric declared he was going home even if no one else was. That was a mistake, he thought later, but deep down, he had been hoping that the others would beg him to stay. Or at least *ask* him to stay with them.

But Hank had said, "That's your decision, Eric…" and left it up to him. Hadn't Hank been able to see that Eric wanted them all to stay together, and maybe he could have been argued out of it? Or maybe, although Eric still wanted to go home, he would have been willing to wait a little while, if it meant they could all go back home together?

But it did not turn out that way. He went back through the portal alone, ended up back in the "real" world, the world from whence they originally came, finding himself dressed in the clothes he had been wearing when he and the others had embarked on the Dungeons and Dragons ride. Everything looked so *normal.* Eric had found a pay phone, called his Dad's chauffeur, and gone home. That was that. No one even asked him any questions about the others, where they had gone or what might have happened to them, because as usual, Eric's parents had been so uninvolved in his life that they had not even known that he had been hanging around with those other children that day. Moreover, in this world, Eric had been gone for less than a day.

Life went on as usual. Eric's father continued to keep him at arm's length, his mother too, albeit slightly less so, but he had never been very close to either of his parents, and that did not change. He attended an expensive prep school, and eventually went to Harvard, where he studied business. In his freshman year he met and moved in with a girl whose personality and character reminded him of Diana; she was smart, athletic, focused, and determined. He proposed marriage, but although she told him she loved him, she told him also that she had things she wanted to do with her life; their goals were not compatible. He needed a corporate wife, she told him, and she could not fill that role. On the rebound from his relationship with her, Eric met and married another girl—in part because another dramatic change transpired in his life about that time. Just before Eric's graduation from Harvard, his father dropped dead of a massive heart attack while out on a golf course. Eric was required to take over the business, and found it was like riding a tiger.

He is a successful man, as the world defines the term. Initially there had been problems keeping his late father's business solvent, but Eric managed to do so, and also turned it into an even more massively profitable corporation. But his wife complained that he had no time for her, or for their two children. That marriage ended in divorce. Eric married again, but that marriage is hardly more successful. He has no friends.

The last—maybe the only—real friends he ever had were those other boys and girls in the world of Dungeons and Dragons. Sometimes, especially in the last few years, Eric wants to go back there, to find them. To say: "Hey, guys, it's Eric! Recognize me? I've missed you guys! You know me, don't you?"

(Do you still love me?)

It has been thirty years now. Eric is a man in his forties. He has a bitter ex-wife who hates him, two children he hardly sees and barely knows, a trophy wife who loves his money more than she loves him and who he suspects is cheating on him, and no friends.

He has thought about trying to find Hank, Sheila, Bobby, Diana, and Presto, of course. He would Google them, but he is ashamed to admit even to himself that after all this time, he cannot recall any of their last names. Presto was the one to whom he was closest in friendship, and he cannot even recall what the kid's real first name was, much less his last. But Eric has never forgotten them. They were the only real friends he ever had. They would have died to protect each other, and more than once they nearly did.

Five years ago, when he had been back in this world for twenty-five years, he went back to the old amusement park where they had gone on the ride that took them to that world. But the "ride" that had taken them to the world of Dungeons and Dragons was no longer there. The park had closed years ago, the rides were long gone, the surroundings dilapidated, and it all looked cheap, miserable, and depressing. On that day, for just a moment, he wondered if it had all been a dream.

But no, it was real, and their friendships were true. He wonders even if he could go back, would they be the same age he is now? Grown up? Still young? Older? Once when they were there in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, they encountered a boy they knew from their own world, and learned from him that back "home," they had been gone for perhaps a few hours, whereas in the Dungeons and Dragons world they had been there for at least a month. What happened to them all, he wonders. Did they choose to stay there permanently? He smiles as he thinks of Hank and Sheila getting married, maybe having children of their own. Of Hank becoming a great paladin or a steward to some powerful king. Diana running a castle, Bobby raising unicorns, Presto being a great wizard. Eric's smile fades when it occurs to him that maybe they didn't live long enough to grow up—maybe after he left they were fatally ambushed by orcs, or eaten by a dragon. He wonders if maybe Dungeon Master was wrong and they couldn't come back, if and when they decided to do so later. Or worst of all, from Eric's point of view—maybe they did return to this world, but they never looked him up or tried to connect with him. Maybe he didn't mean as much to them as they did, and still do, to him.

Of course, his life here isn't all bad. If he had remained in Dungeons and Dragons world, he would never have met that girl in college, whom he still regards as the love of his life. He never would have had his romance with her, brief as it was. And he wouldn't have his son and daughter. They may be a mixed blessing, but he still regards them as being more blessings than not. They have agreed to go to family therapy with him; his daughter is eager at the prospect, his son less so, but at least they are trying. Perhaps things will get better. And there is no denying that he gets a charge out of being the CEO of a multi-million-dollar corporation, which provides employment for a lot of people. Financially and materially, he is successful. He enjoys the best of everything. Most people would trade places with him in a heartbeat. Eric knows this.

But he lives in a world without magic. He lives a life without friendship. Hank, Diana, Sheila, Bobby, and Presto were the only true friends he ever had, or it seems he is ever likely to have.

And so, thirty years later, he wonders if he made the right decision.

~ooo0ooo~

Author's Note: This story is based on the conclusion of "Requiem," the episode that concluded the animated "Dungeons and Dragons" series but was never televised. It is available on YouTube.