ONE

Whoa buddy, I know I haven't checked in for the past couple of weeks but things are totally crazy hectic at the moment. I have this new killer professor Dr Leekie, who completely kicks my ass (in a totes good way obvs) in my Evo Devo classes. His classes are so captivating, and he is such a badass speaker. I love his classes the most, but boy does he really challenge the mind. Which is why I haven't spoken to you in awhile. Soz about that.

I've decided, after our last conversation, that I'm going to move in with Felix. It makes sense. Two stoners, living large and keeping it real. Oh god, I just rolled my eyes at how lame that sounded. You're right. You're always right. But it'll save me a few dollars, and I like his company. Him and I…well, we're of the same people you know? Plus after my break-up with spawn-of-satan Shay, I really could use the distraction.

Speaking of distractions, I met someone.

Well, okay, I haven't met her met her…but there's someone. I just have no idea how to meet her. I mean, do I accidentally but on purpose bump into her? And then what do I do? Tell her my name, and then ramble on like a complete dork about how I've been gawking at her for the past 2 weeks?

Okay, okay, I'll back up a bit.

Felix, Sarah, and I were all having a couple of drinks downstairs at Fee's loft. Our usual Friday catch-up. So, I go up to the bar and I notice someone new behind the bar. She was wearing this white tank, and to be honest I don't think she was wearing a bra – but everything was so perky, and so very distracting. I was so distracted that I didn't even notice Bobby calling my name. Man, I felt so embarrassed, and Bobby gave me her knowing eye and shook her head in disapproval. My cheeks went seven different colors of red, I swear to god. I felt 2 centimeters tall in that moment.

Don't ask me what her name is, because I'm too chicken-shit to just ask her. In fact, I haven't even spoken to her per se. I haven't done much except act like a horny 12 year old boy around her, and gawk at her. Both Sarah and Felix give me shit about it all the time, obviously. They're so annoying like that, but I'd be lost without them. They've been good people, you know? Through everything. Through my health scare, to my tumultuous, soul-destroying relationship, to me not having enough time for them, but them knowing that I still love them no matter what. They're good people. They're the best, and I don't know where – or even who I'd be without them.

You're probably wondering if the real reason I'm moving in with Felix is so I can gawk at the hot mysterious bartender some more, right? Well, you're wrong!

Okay, you got me.

Maybe a little bit.

Ah crap, I think puberty is re-hitting me and I'm turning into a boy.

Oh, I got a postcard from my parents on their "I sold everything to buy a camper-van and pack up to live freely amongst nature" road-trip. They're in Vegas. My parents packed up all their stuff to go to Vegas? I mean, come on. Vegas? Yeah sure, it's the middle of the desert, but of all the places that could see, they chose to start in Vegas? Ah well, good for them I say. I gave them a call straight after and told them to put their life savings on black.

Shit, hope they knew I was kidding.

Oh god damn it, I'm going to have to call them aren't I?

Promise I'll write soon.

Over & out.

CN