A/N: So, I was on a typing frenzy and got this all typed up right after Hope Whispers. It's my first Girl Meets World full one shot, my first "shippy" fic for the fandom, and, as such, my first Joshaya fic. I keep flip flopping between Joshaya and Lucaya (I'm leaning toward the latter I think because of the absurd chemistry between the two characters in recent episodes, hello Girl Meets Rules). So, I've had pretty even story ideas between the two. This time is Joshaya. Next time, is Lucaya (possibly the time after that too). Anyway, enjoy! R&R! Thanks! ~Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets World.

Keeping Her At A Distance

I

Josh knows he has an effect on her. That's undeniable.

People from space could see the way she goes from cool and aloof to crazed and incoherent, like a switch is flipped the second he walks into the room.

Sure, he acts like it is annoying, like he's above it all.

But, Jesus, is it flattering.

It's hard to glean anything from Maya's heated gibberish. But it all translates to she likes him. That's all he needs to know.

II

He has lost count of how many times he has to say "three years," "age difference," "too old," "too young," "too long." It's become a reflex. When she looks at him, when she talks to him, when she touches him, the words spill out like prizes from a broken quarter machine.

Those big, bright, full of life, blue eyes meet his. Crank. "Three years."

Her mouth opens to emit her melodic voice and it draws his attention to her lips. Crank. "Age difference."

Her petite fingers, splattered with paint and chipped nail polish, glide over his arm, his shoulder, his back. Soft touches that should be innocent. Crank. "Too old." Crank. "Too Young." Crank. "Too long."

She rolls her eyes on cue and assumes this is just his way to ward her off, to stem her interest. In a way, it is.

Honestly, it's a defense mechanism. It's a means of keeping her at a distance. Because she has the makings of something other worldly. Because she's dangerous and he's in danger of finding her too interesting, too intriguing, too much of everything.

Because all of his old hat excuses are still true, even if they are redundant.

And if she gets close enough, he might stop caring about those truths.

III

Even though he's got this nagging, blonde haired, blue eyed obsession in the back of his head, he's realistic. He has to shove that aside, pack it away, bury it under harsh reality, so he can live his life like a normal person.

Not like one with a countdown clock over his head, living life like he's always waiting, waiting for something he can't verbalize because he's not supposed to be waiting for anything, he's supposed to be above it all.

He has to be a normal person, he has to stay cool and aloof, because someone has to be if she is going to be a spaz and a half around him.

So, normal people flirt with pretty girls on the subway. They flirt because they want to date. They want to date because they're not waiting.

And he's sort of charming, sort of good looking, sort of a catch—if he's honest, the only time Josh really feels like this is true is when Maya is looking at him like he's a work of art, but he's not thinking of her, he's not—so he should be successful.

But he's not. He's rejected, because, laughably, he's three years too young. It hits him like a punch in the gut, being on the other end of all those words he tosses around so carelessly.

Now he knows how she feels. And it feels awful, because he doesn't want to be the one to make her feel like this.

From what he's learned about her in overheard snippets of conversations and silent implications, she has experienced more disappointment and pain than some people can handle in a lifetime. Still she perseveres.

He doesn't want to make the world any harder on her.

So he stops saying those things, or he doesn't say them as much at least. He still can't let her in, not yet. Even though it pains him, he has to have some safeguards.

IV

The party at NYU is another mission in normalcy, because the average seventeen year old boy doesn't turn down the opportunity to hang out with college girls.

He is suspicious of the calm and collected Maya that turns up for awhile there, but he doesn't realize that he sees right through her until she is being shoved into the dorm by his niece.

A part of him knows she is coming, and he's waiting, because she's always there, somehow, right where she shouldn't be. She's chasing him through life, three steps behind and just out of reach.

It should be annoying, but, Jesus, is it flattering.

He pushes her, questions her, denies her—so he can keep her at arm's length, where she needs to be.

But he knows he's all wrong about her.

With what life has dealt her, she should have every reason to play it safe. Instead, she sees him with eyes wide open, drinking in all of him, and she's not afraid to do it in front of everyone. She's willing to risk it all on someone who has made a habit of looking down on her for it.

She is brave burning passion.

If this is her at fourteen, he can only imagine what she will be at eighteen. If she can feel her flames now, spanning across all the distance between them to lick his skin, then as she grows, she will be all consuming.

V

He is proud of her honesty. It means she can evolve and grow and mature. It means there will come a time when the need for distance between them will be gone. The countdown will wind to an end and they'll be ready. It's the proof he needs.

So, it might have been the worst party ever, but it wasn't the worst night of his life.

VI

He imagines it now. The countdown ticks to zero and all of the walls come down.

Maybe she's eighteen, and he's twenty one. Maybe they're both at NYU. Maybe the three years means very little now that they're both on this side of the line between childhood and adulthood in their lives.

Maybe she'll run into him on campus, and it'll be their moment.

She'll say, "You've kept me waiting."

He'll say, "I've been waiting too."

She'll be everything she always was and more. Her blonde hair wild with curls, her blue eyes will be clear and searching, her skin will be soft and splattered with evidence of her latest masterpiece. She'll burn him up right where he stands.

Then, he'll pull her into him, until the space between them is nothing. Until it's just her and him wrapped around each other.

And he'll never let her get any further away from him than that.

VII

It doesn't happen quite like that.

But it's still worth every second it takes to get there.

VIII

Maya is eighteen. Josh is twenty one. It is at NYU.

She is covered in paint as she leaves the studio for the day. He is speeding across campus on his bike, running late to his next class. He skids to a stop when he sees her, so abruptly he almost ejects himself from his seat. She stumbles out of the way before he takes her out with him.

When he rights himself on his feet, she is laughing at him. It's the first time they've seen each other since she started her first semester there, and he almost expects her to tackle him and wash him over with her frantic gibberish. But she doesn't. She laughs into her hand and watches him with those eyes that see all of him.

And he can't help himself. He pulls her hand away from her face and yanks her to him. A look of surprise flutters across her face and it gives him a thrill that, after all the times she has flung herself into his life and taken him by surprise, he has finally caught her off guard.

He continues his streak by pressing his lips to hers with more confidence than he has ever possessed before.

She melts against him, her fingers clutch at him wherever they fall, and she makes a sound of approval deep in her throat.

And, Jesus, is it flattering.

When he pulls away, she is smiling. Now she knows. He has never been as brave as she is, until this moment. He has watched her with wide open eyes, but only when she had her back turned. But he has taken risks, same as her. Her risks have been putting it all out on the line; has have been to let her. He has kept her at such a distance, that he has had to leave it up to chance that he'd be able to pull her back in when he was ready.

Now she knows that he's been waiting just as long as her. That he couldn't let her in until now. Until this moment. And everything is perfect.

He never makes it to that class.

Instead, they go for coffee. He stares at her head on, for the first time that he has allowed himself. She stares right back. Their coffee chills in their cups.

Maya reaches across the table and laces her fingers with Josh's. She smiles again and he's burning up. She says, "It took you long enough."

It translates to, "We're done waiting."

That's all he needs to know.

-fin-