Ezra fiddled around with his coat. He had put it on during the journey to keep warm but now he was feeling uncomfortable in it. Not because of the heat, but because it didn't feel like him. For a month now he'd been holding onto it, thinking of how he had to get to his mother. She had to be alive. Her being dead was unfathomable.

But being with the others. Being himself with no rules was such a great feeling that he felt himself wavering on his decision to go looking for his family.

The others felt like a family to him. A messed up family, but his real family wasn't much better.

The only problem with their little family was that there wasn't a clear future and that's what mattered to him.

He looked up and saw Chris looking out the window of their little room. The older boy hadn't spoken since the hotel last night. Ezra knew Chris didn't talk unless necessary, but it looked like he had something on his mind. Like something was troubling him.

Vin sat happily between Chris, his best friend, and Mr Travis, their protector. Never before had he trusted an adult, but since Chris seemed to trust him then he had to be good. Plus he was taking them all to the U.S. There was something unnerving about how quiet Chris was being, but he dismissed it as Chris thinking about what they we're going to do once they got off the train. A small part of him wished that they could all stay with Mr Travis. They could all officially become brothers and sister.

Vin smiled and looked over to Chris. He couldn't see his face, but that was ok. He laid his head on the older boy's arm and closed his eyes.

JD was restless from sitting so long. He asked several times if they were there yet and kept walking around their small area.

They were going to their new home with Mr Travis and he was going to be their daddy.

He giggled and then scrambled back into Buck's now sore thighs.

The others all cherished thoughts of getting to the states. Some still thinking about what would happened when they arrived while the younger ones thought of staying with Travis.

It wasn't until the announcer came over the speaker and said that they were ten minutes away from their destination when Travis told them his plan.

"So guys, I was thinking since you don't have anywhere to go, you could stay at a friend of mine's house."

Chris finally came alive, "I won't let you split us up in some foster system."

"Nothing of the sort. My friend, Nettie Wells has a ranch with a lot of land that you all can run around on. She has a niece staying with her about JD's age."

Chris looked around at the others, "What do you guys want to do?"

"Why don't we try it since you don't have plans yet right."

Chris hid the hurt he felt with a nod, "Fine, we'll go."

The others began to talk excitedly while Chris returned to his gaze to the scenery outside the window and sighed.

It was dark when they arrived and most of them were exhausted from the journey to actually take in their surroundings.

Travis took them in a cab that they all had to pile into and took them to a house out of the city they arrived in. The house light was on and looked like they were expected. When the car stopped the front door opened and a middle aged woman stepped out. She came down the steps to greet them all.

"Welcome children. You must be all tired from your journey. I'll keep the introductions short so you can all get to bed. I have a few rooms set up for you in the back. Casey will take you."

A little girl, shorter than JD hovered by the door. She gave a wave and Nettie gently pushed them towards the house.

Casey started talking instantly with JD who probably would've been more talkative if he wasn't exhausted.

The other boys were surprised at his lack of conversation.

The older boys were paired up and the younger ones were to share another room.

Casey showed them the long shirts they were to use as pjs until they could get to the store.

Chris silently changed and slipped into his bed. He was sharing a room with Buck who was sleeping in a bed across the room.

"We made it, old dog." whispered Buck.

Chris didn't say anything, but covered his head with the blanket.

The next morning they were shown around the house and the ranch. The older boys were told that they would have to help out around with the chores outside while and the younger ones were to work indoors.

For breakfast they all sat down at the table. Casey tried talking to JD again but again JD wasn't talking much.

"Something wrong, kid?" asked Buck eventually.

"No."

"Then why aren't you talking to her?"

"That's a her?"

"Yeah, what did you think she was?"

"I couldn't tell. Why's she wearing overalls like a boy?"

"Why don't you just ask her instead of talking about her?" said Casey.

JD frowned at her.

"Girls aren't supposed to be wearing overalls."

"Well I bet I can force you into one of my dresses before you can get me into one."

JD scrunched his nose, "Boy's don't wear dresses."

"I don't have to wear dresses either."

JD shook his head, "You're weird."

Buck tried to hold in his laugh.

Vin helped Nettie in the kitchen and would always volunteer to taste test the food.

The food was dished out and everyone ate till their fill. Not many took the time to talk in fear that another would get seconds before them.

After breakfast Nathan, Buck, and Josiah explored the outside where there were farm animals and to the boy's wonder, horses while Vin, Ezra and JD helped with the dishes.

When the boys came back inside to tell the others what they saw Nettie told them that they could try and ride them later on the week which made them all excited.

When the younger boys heard about this they wanted to ride too. Soon everyone was asking Nettie to be the first to ride.

Chris sat alone on the fence watching the animals eat grass.

It was peaceful unlike the ranch that the James's owned. There weren't any men carrying guns around like at the Conklin farm. In fact, it was just the kids and Nettie.

Travis went back to the city the night before, promising to visit in a couple of days.

Chris however wasn't planning on staying for a couple of days.

While the others obediently did chores, he would go off into the woods and practice shooting his bow and arrow.

He had been practicing for the last month and was getting better.

Releasing his hold he sank another handmade arrow into a small tree.

With a sigh he retrieved it and walked back to his position. In the US he wouldn't be allowed to carry weapons. No matter if they were hand made. Everything that he'd work to get to this point was now going to be useless. He would become useless. He wasn't needed anymore.

Chris, with tears threatening to fall, snapped his bow and arrows in half and tossed them as far as he could.

If this what needed to happen then he wouldn't fight it anymore.

Drops of rain started to fall and he went back to the house. Everyone was busy playing games and didn't notice him sneak into the back where he was sleeping.

There was a little desk set up and he took out a pencil and paper. He wasn't one for talking, but he could write.

By the time everyone started to head to bed Chris had already climbed in his and covered himself up. The storm outside had gotten worse and lightning flashed through the window.

Buck fumbled around a little before getting into bed. Ten minutes passed in silence besides the sound of the occasional thunder and rain before the door opened slightly. Little steps were heard and JD climbed into Buck's bed.

Buck wrapped himself around the other boy before closing his eyes again.

Chris could hear Vin trying to get into his bed but he shoved him off.

Vin tried again but this time Chris sat up and pushed him off till he fell on the floor.

"Knock it off already!" He yelled.

Buck and JD sat up.

"What's the matter with you, pard?" asked Buck.

"I just- I'm just tired of this. You guys maybe ok with this but I can't stay."

Chris slipped out of the bed and quickly got dressed. Vin fumbled to his feet and began pleading with him to stop.

"Please, I won't get into bed with you again. Please don't leave us. You said we were going to stick together."

Vin started to cry. Chris opened the window and climbed out till he was sitting on the windowsill.

"I'll stay in contact with you all and write you when I get the chance."

He didn't wait for them to respond before he jumped off and dropped to the ground. He ran and didn't look back. He could hear Vin and Buck screaming his name.

Closing his eyes, he pressed on. There was no other way. They would be safe there with Nettie. He only brought misfortune to them all like his foster dad said.

"I'm sorry."

The other kids ran into Buck's and Chris's room. They saw Vin and JD balling on the floor. Buck had turned on the lights and was looking at a piece of paper he had found on the desk.

"What happened?" asked Josiah.

"Chris left."

The others stood in astonishment, not quite sure how to react.

"Where?" asked Ezra.

"We don't know. He just got upset and left."

"What's that?" asked Nathan pointing to the paper in Buck's hand.

"He wrote this to us."

Buck read it out loud.

Dear Buck,

I'm sorry that I can't be with you guys anymore and that I broke my promise that we'd always be together. Take care of the others for me and try not to get into any trouble with girls.

He then handed it over to Josiah who read his message.

Dear Josiah,

Please take my place in watching over the others. You're an excellent leader with great ideas. Don't be afraid to use them. You'll do great.

One by one, they handed down the letter to the next person in line.

Dear JD,

I know you're just learning to read so I'll keep it short and not difficult. When I first met you you were a little too much for me, but you've grown to become a brave kid and really smart. Don't let the dark hold you back. Take care of Buck for me.

Dear Nathan,

Thank you for taking care of me and the others, and I hope you'll continue to do so when I'm gone. We probably would've come out a whole lot worse if it wasn't for you. Keep up the work and I expect to see in the news about a Dr Nathan Jackson saving lives and creating cures.

Dear Inez,

I haven't known you as long as the others but you have definitely become part of the family. I hope you were able to experience that feeling too. Take care of the boys and keep them in line as only a girl knows how. Especially Buck.

Dear Vin,

Hey buddy. Don't think of any of this as your fault or anyone else's. It's just my time to leave. Try not to be too shy and please eat more besides sweets. Take baths and do what you're told. I probably won't have to worry about that last part because you were always my trooper.

Dear Ezra,

I'm not sure where we sit, but I consider you a little brother. Not because you're short either. We may have had a rough beginning, but I don't regret meeting you that night. I know you don't feel like you belong with us, but we do consider you family.

Ezra read the portion that was addressed to all of them.

And to all of you,

I feel like my job is done. I don't feel like I'm needed anymore. Our goal was to get to the states and we succeeded. Even though I didn't complete the mission myself. I have given you guys all that I had. I have nothing left to offer you but my love.

I'm going away, not because of anything you did, but because I realized that I can't do anything else for you at this point in my life. Not everything can be done without grown ups and I see that. But even though I can see it, I can't bring myself to trust them again. I've been hurt too many times and I'm just what they call a damaged child.

I'm not really sure where I'll be headed but I will write to you every chance that I get. I wrote down Nettie's address so I can mail you all.

Good bye,

Chris Larabee

A/N: So I know that it leaves you guys kind of hanging and possibly upset. Believe me I was crying as I wrote this. I told you all that I was writing what came to me in dreams and daydreams and there simply was nothing left. Mostly for Chris. I dislike that it ended in this way, but my other version was longer and prolonged the inevitable. Besides the title is Crossing the Atlantic and they've already done so. I think there will be a sequel in the future, but I'm going to be writing another story first...I think. Plus school is starting up and we all have our feelings on that subject. Love you all and thanks for reading!

The title for the sequel will be Crossing the States to Find You. I think I'll start with the sequel first. As I just said I'm lead by dreams. It won't be continued on this one so you have to find it. Or follow, which ever you want.