CHAPTER ONE

When Raphael woke up, the first thing he did was grab his sais out of his belt.

Something was wrong. He could feel it in the air. There was something off.

Eh. He didn't need to worry about that right now. He was home in the Lair, not topside. And if there was a problem here in the Lair, Leo could handle it. Leo liked these kinds of things, in fact he practically lived for them. In the meantime, it was time for breakfast.

Putting the sais back in his belt, Raph yawned and jumped out of the hammock. He passed Donnie's room and Mikey's room-heh, Mikey was snoring again-and made his way downstairs. So the Lair was a little quiet, big deal. Any day where he woke up before Mikey was a good day.

But why was it so quiet? It wasn't that late, but everyone was still asleep.

Apparently not everyone, though. Donnie and Leo were both sitting at the kitchen table. Donnie had poured himself a bowl of cereal, but he wasn't eating any of it. And Leo-well, he was just sitting there looking at his hands on the table. And for some reason he was missing his swords.

"Mornin'," Raph said, grabbing the milk out of the fridge, "Would ya know it? Mikey slept in."

"Let him sleep," Donnie said, staring at his bowl, "He could use it."

"Did I miss somethin'?" Raph asked. Since when would Donnie advise leaving Mikey in bed? As far back as he could remember they all always woke up early for morning training.

He looked at Donnie, but Donnie was still looking at his cereal. He looked at Leo, but Leo was still looking down at his hands. He didn't see the glance Raph gave him. Neither of them answered him, so he asked again.

"No, seriously. Did I miss out on a party or what?" Raph continued.

"Raph," Donnie said, opening his mouth to say more and then-"Nevermind. It's early, and you haven't woken up yet."

"So?"

"So you don't remember yet. And I don't want to have to tell you again," Donnie said, getting up from the table. "I'm going back to bed."

This was unheard of. It was downright scary.

"WHAT?" Raphael asked, "Donnie, what would Splinter say? Don't we got training-"

"Under normal circumstances yes, we would have training," Donnie snapped, grabbing his untouched and very soggy cereal bowl off the table, "But I think today Sensei understands."

"Donnie," Raph began.

"Just leave me alone for a while Raphie," Donnie said, placing his bowl in the sink without bothering to clean it of any cereal or milk.

What the heck was going on? Donnie going back to bed, Mikey sleeping in? And with Leo sitting right there, apparently okay with all this?

"Donnie," Raph said, "What's wrong with you?"

"It is alright Raphael," Master Splinter said, walking into the kitchen, "Nothing is wrong with Donatello. But there will be no training today."

"Sensei, I don't understand," Raph said.

"You will, my son," he sighed, "All too soon, you will remember."

"But Masta Splinta, what is going on here?"

"We each grieve in our own ways, Raphael," Master Splinter announced, the finality of the words piercing the otherwise still Liar.

"What happened?" Raph asked. It wasn't really a question, it was a statement. "Did April...or Casey..."

"They're fine Raph," Donnie said sadly, "Now like I said, I'm going back to bed." He left the room.

"Masta Splinta-"

"My son," Splinter said, touching Raphael's shoulder, "I can see that you are confused, but I will allow you to remember on your own. This is something that you must do for yourself. Turn your thoughts to last night. Then, if you need me, I will be in my room."

And just like that, Master Splinter left Raph and Leo alone in the kitchen. Raph was more than a little startled by what Splinter said, but with Leo there he wasn't about to show how he felt.

"Alright," Raph said, gathering his thoughts even as he turned to grab his favorite brand of cereal from the cupboard, "So. What happened last night?"

Leo didn't answer him. And for whatever reason, he couldn't remember. Every night seemed the same nowadays. But clearly something very, very bad had happened last night.

"ARGH!" Raph said, slamming the cereal box onto the counter, "Why won't anyone TELL me what the shell happened?"

The cereal spilled out from the box, spilling little pieces of cereal all over the kitchen. Grumbling, Raph swept them off the counter and onto the floor with his arm. Then he surveyed the amount of cereal on the floor.

"This stinks," he said.

Leo still hadn't moved from the seat he was sitting in at the table, but he had moved his hands a little. What was he doing, counting his fingers or something? He didn't even offer to help him clean up this mess. Raph glared at Leo for two seconds before heading for the broom. It took a few seconds for him to sweep, but soon the kitchen floor was clean again.

"So much for cereal," Raph said as he put the broom away, "I guess I wasn't in the mood for it anyways."

He looked at Leo, then at the door which Splinter and Donnie had left. Beyond that door and up a ways was Mikey's room, where the orange masked turtle was still asleep.

"Bacon and eggs it is." Raph said, reaching for the drawer that held the pans.

Leo sighed, and bent his arms up from the table to support his head. Raph rolled his eyes, but started raiding the fridge. He tried to remember what had happened last night.

"Let's see," he said outloud as he got the eggs into the pan, "I know there was a fight. There's always a fight. But what happened?"

He got the bacon into the pan now. More bacon than was necessary. From what Splinter said it sounded like someone was hurt last night. That, or some plan had blown up in their faces. Whatever it was, it had to be huge. So why couldn't he remember it?

Leo didn't say a word as Raph cooked, although he did sigh a little every now and then. Raphael was started to get annoyed that he couldn't remember what had happened. Leo was right there, so why wouldn't he tell him? Why wouldn't anyone tell him?

He fisted his hand. It took all he had to stop himself from picking another fight with Leo. That didn't feel right, what with all that was going on in the Lair, whatever it was. Still, it was annoying. Leo had the answers, as usual. So there had to be some reason he wasn't saying anything.

Then Raphael realized. Leo was upset. Of course he was upset. He's the leader. Something must have gone wrong, and now Mr. High and Mighty was blaming himself. And apparently also starving himself. He'd been sitting at the table with Donatello before Raph even entered the kitchen, but somehow Raphael knew that Leo hadn't had breakfast yet.

Raphael might be extremely annoyed at Leo right now, but he wasn't going to let his brother go hungry just because he felt guilty. So he piled eggs and bacon on a big plate and set it aside for his brother before making his own plate.

"Whatcha makin', Raphie?"

Raphael turned towards the kitchen doorway. The orange masked turtle was standing there, chasing sleep away from his eyes with the back of his fist.

Apparently Raph woke up Mikey for a change. With the power of bacon, most likely.

"Food," Raph said, gesturing with his head towards the stovetop, "Want some?"

"Not really, but I guess I should," Mikey said.

Raphael stopped in the middle of giving Mikey a heaping tall helping of bacon. Did he just...

"Did you just turn down food?" Raph asked, turning to face his brother.

"I'm not that hungry after last night," Mikey said, sitting down in the chair Donnie had been sitting in earlier.

Raph steeled his eyes. "Mikey." He said, "What exactly happened last night?"

His younger brother looked at him with surprise. "You don't remember?"

"No!" Raph said, slamming his fist on the counter, "And Splinter and Donnie won't tell me."

"It's a lot to take in," Mikey said, staring straight ahead of him. He didn't appear to be actually looking at anything though, much less Leo who was right across from him.

"So what happened?" Raphael asked, handing Mikey his plate of food.

"Please don't make me answer that Raphie," Mikey said, putting the plate on the table in front of him.

"Why not?" Raph asked.

Mikey sighed, and grabbed the plate back off the table.

"I-I think I'm going to eat this in my room. Thanks for the food, Raph."

And just like that, Mikey was gone too. But Raph didn't miss that he left crying.

"Mikey," he started to say, but then he looked at Leo. Leo was still just sitting at the table. If Mikey needed anyone to comfort him, it would be Leo, right? And since Leo was still here in the kitchen, that meant he figured that Mikey needed some alone time. And if Leo decided to leave Mikey alone, then Raph decided that he should too.

Speaking of Leo, though, he still hadn't gotten up to get anything to eat. With a huff, Raph grabbed Leo's food off of the counter.

"Here ya go," Raph said, placing Leo's food in front of him, "Dig in."

That finally knocked Leo out of his funk. Instead of looking down at his hands, he looked up to Raphael in surprise.

"Raph," he said, the name coming out as if he hadn't noticed his brother was there.

"What?" Raph said, "Ya thought you could sit here all day without eatin'?"

"Raphael," Leo said seriously, "How long have-"

"Jeez Fearless, I've been here for a while," Raph said, "So, how badly did we mess up on last night's mission that ya didn't even notice I was here? Or are you not going to tell me what happened either?"

Then, to Raph's surprise, Leo broke out into a big grin. "Raphael," he said, "It's-it's so good to see you."

"Good to see you too, I guess," Raph said, and Leo's eyes lit up, "Now will you stop avoiding the question and just tell me what happened?"

Leo's happiness disappeared, and he stared at the plate in front of him again. "It's just shock, I guess," he said, "Everyone is in shock. You too. That, or you haven't woken up all the way yet."

"What?"

"That's why you can't remember yet," Leo said, looking up at him again, "Or maybe it's that you don't want to remember."

"So, what happened?" Raphael asked, putting his food on the table and sitting down across from Leo.

"Don't you remember how it started, Raphie?" Leo said, the more childish nickname slipping out of his mouth as if it came from him every day, "We went to April's building. The Foot showed up and there was a fight. Someone got a hold of April and was using her as a hostage..."

Raph started. He did remember that.

"Yeah, but you saved her," he said, "You got her outta there while Casey and I-"

"And you did great," Leo said, smiling at him, "I couldn't have asked for better cover. We got her to safety, Raph. She's going to live."

"So," Raph said, eating some scrambled eggs, "What's so bad about last night then? What's got Splinter and Donnie and Mikey all uptight?"

Leo's next words didn't make any sense. "They're upset because I died, Raphael."