My name is Slit. My world is V8 and chrome. I am a Lancer. A Fury Road warrior searching for a—

"Sliiiiiiiitttt!"

Slit snaps out of his reverie with a groan. For now he is searching for an excuse. Anything to avoid his Driver. Nux probably has some inane crap he wants him to check out. Whatever it is, Slit isn't interested. He is supposed to be off-duty today to let his busted ribs and abs heal, Organic Mechanic's order.

There is a space under his bunk where it is dark. If he throws a sack over himself, it actually makes a decent hidey-hole. But before Slit even bends over, Nux bursts into the War Boys' sleeping quarters.

"Slit! Slit! Slit! You gotta see this! Slit!"

Nux is so excited that he actually runs around Slit in circles, twice. He is carrying a canvas bag, from which he pulls out a baby doll.

"Look at how shiny this is!" he squeals, holding the toy up and pointing at it.

Because he is holding the baby doll right beside his head, Slit can't help but spot the resemblance. The bald head. The Pup face. Impossibly blue eyes, fluttery eyelashes, deranged smile. Seriously, this is like a toy version of Nux, and what Nux must've looked like when he was 300 days old.

"The hell you gonna do with that, Nux?"

With a grin, Nux dumps the baby doll on the bunk, followed by a bunch of tools and shit, all over Slit's personal space. Without asking Slit if it's okay to mess up his side of the bunk (sure, they may be sharing that slab of stone but fifty percent of it belongs to Slit), Nux clambers onto the stone and sets to work.

First thing he does is pull off the doll's head with a pop sound. He chucks the decapitated body at Slit, who catches it before it hits him in the chest. After perusing the head for a moment, Nux jabs a blade into its eye socket and digs. Then the Driver flicks two plastic eyeballs Slit's way like harmless bullets.

Bah, Slit figures he won't be getting anymore naps in his bunk for the rest of the day. Now Nux has spread his lanky body out, lying on his front with his elbows propping him up. His nimble thumbs press a steel nut into the hollow eye socket. His legs are kicking in the air because it is impossible, simply impossible, for Nux to keep still.

Slit slaps the Driver's calf because his swinging legs are giving him a headache. He even grabs and hooks Nux's ankles together for him just to try to keep him still, to no avail. Sighing, he turns his attention to the headless doll. Imagining it is Nux, Slip rips off the plastic legs, one at a time, followed by the hands. There are popping sounds that give him some feeling of satisfaction. Slit discards all the limbs except for one arm. It's incredibly detailed for a toy, he reckons, with five tiny fingers. He gnaws off the fingers and they feel a little like the legs of a dung beetle between his teeth, except the doll tastes like shit. No juice in those plastic fingers. Yuck. Slit spits them out.

Nux's legs behave and stay motionless but now he's humming a tune. Who the fuck hums to Coma Doof's guitar tunes?

"Where'd you get this thing?" Slit asks, rubbing his temples.

"Latest raid. Grabbed 'em from under the seat before anyone else!" Nux informs proudly, now pounding away with a hammer. There's also a steel hose coiled around his arm, for whatever reason. Slit has learnt not to question the things Nux does, but he knows the younger War Boy's a damn good Blackthumb. Any scrap or junk that comes in, Nux can fashion 'em into something shiny for their ride.

Slit decides to sit on the floor and scratch at his abs. So the staples holding his torn flesh together might come off (again) and he'll bleed like a Bloodbag again but damn his healing wounds are itchy.

After a frenzy of bolting and wrenching with his toy, Nux lets out a whoop from the bunk. He shows off his handiwork to Slit and it is his modified steering wheel, now with the baby doll's mutilated head welded in the middle. It looks absolutely deranged, and shiny. Slit is impressed.

"Should've used a Pup skull! Mediocre, Nux!" Slit sneers, clapping his partner in the ear.

"It's my wheel!" Nux's good mood does not dampen. "C'mon! Let's offer 'er to the V8!" He grabs Slit by the wrist and drags his Lancer through the winding tunnels (at the first sight of another War Boy, Slit slaps his hand away; no way they are gonna be seen strolling hand in hand! No fucking way!), past the Bloodbag cages and Organic Mechanic's sick bay, all the way to the V8 shrine.

Before them looms the altar of the V8, bathed in dazzling white light. The impressive V8 symbol, larger than the size of a War Rig's wheel with flames flickering out of its eye and mouth sockets, hovers above them. Below it every Driver's steering wheel hangs from numerous poles, all precious offerings waiting to be used for the next pursuit. Some wheels have served several Drivers over hundreds of days; stories say every subsequent death has been more glorious than the last.

Nux procured his steering wheel completely on his own though, when he was still a War Pup with squeaky voice. He'd followed the slightly older Slit on a raid, to watch and learn from his elders. When the time came to loot the captured vehicle, he had dived straight for the wheel first. Even Slit thought it was a damn bold move as there were at least three senior War Boys going through the salvage. But then Nux brought out his Secret Weapon—he gazed at everyone with those damn blue eyes, that have the ability to shimmer like an oasis—and he was allowed to keep the wheel for himself.

Now Nux has a coveted spot near the top of the centre pole. As he approaches the altar, he holds up his wheel reverently, letting the great symbol glow over him.

For a second, Slit wishes he could shove the numbskull aside, seize the wheel, and bathe in V8's glory himself.

But he can't.

He's just a Lancer. The Best Lancer, mind you, but he'd always be second to a Driver, even to the Worst Driver in Citadel.

"By my deeds, I honor him. V8." Nux breathes wispily. He slips his wheel over the hook, letting it take its place at the shrine. As he raises his hands and bows his head, Slit follows him in the V8 sign. The Lancer shuts his eyes, imagining the Gates of Valhalla, and sees the light reaching into his vision like chrome.

Nux drapes an arm over Slit's shoulders as they head back to the sleeping quarters. Slit isn't one for affection, but he thumps the younger boy between his shoulder blades. He really did make a shiny wheel after all. That doll-face is so distinct even Immortan Joe can tell it's Nux-Made.

"I have more to show you." Nux grins.

"Eh?"

Nux's grin widens, his teeth and the multiple line scars that cover his lips giving him a maniacal, skeletal appearance.

Back at their messy bunk, Nux reaches into his canvas bag again for his other treasures.

They are yet another two dolls, but these ones are not Pup-looking. One is a Boy in some black-and-white uniform Slit has ever only seen before on the People Eater, minus the nipple clips; and the other appears to be a Breeder in a glittery red dress.

"The tags say this one's called Barbie," Nux shakes the Breeder doll from side to side, followed by the Boy doll, "and this's Ken."

He puts Ken down and starts playing with the Barbie doll's sun-colored hair. It is shiny, really, to have real yellow hair on a toy. Slit's fingers reach out to touch her hair too, from rubbery hair root to where it ends at her waist. Incredible details or what!

"Shiny, ain't she? Like one of them Breeders." Slit can tell Nux is fascinated, the way he is running his thumb over her blue eyes, nose and bright pink-lips-white-teeth smile.

"Why you think they're modeled this way?" Nux asks, genuinely puzzled. He picks the Ken doll up again. "Shouldn't he be like Immortan? Or a War Boy?"

"Don't think they make Immortan Joe and War Boy dolls, nutbrain."

Actually Slit doesn't know the answer either. Why are there Breeder dolls? Why do toys—the ones without knives and bombs—exist anyway? Like, what for?

Nux goes back to fingering Barbie, probably wondering, like Slit is, why the fuck is she wearing this blood-colored cloth over her, that feels like sandpaper gone soft?

Then his thumbs smooth over her chest and he pauses. And frowns. He flips the Barbie doll around to strip her, peeling the velcro with a rrriiipppp. Whoa. Naked Barbie sure has impressive tits, but no nipples. Aren't those supposed to be important if you wanted details?, Slit wonders. More important than eyelashes and earlobes anyway!

Nux scratches his head in confusion.

"They're breasts, Nux. Tits."

Then Nux blushes. Nux fucking goes pink in the face and you can see it under the war paint. Oh ho ho ho, Slit knows exactly what's happening here! And it is dangerous grounds, worse than roaming into Buzzards' territory with a glow-in-the-dark arrow sign pointing at your face. Slit slaps the back of his partner's head. "It's a sin to even think about Immortan's stuff!"

"I'm not thinking of his Breeders! I'd never traitor him!" Nux hisses. "Am just wondering, y'know, maybe someone like Barbie roams the Fury Road? If Imperator Furiosa grows hair, two full arms, maybe—"

As always, Savvy Slit has Nux all figured out.

"Nux wants to rut with a woo–man, Nux wants to rut with a wooo–maaahn…" Slit does a singsong voice, even he sounds stupider than Rictus Erectus.

"Shut up, Slit! What are you talking about? I've never rutted!"

IMPOSSIBLE! Like, the fuck?! "How old are you Nux?!" Slit practically screams. This guy knows how to fix a V8 engine with a needle and a bent fork but he doesn't know what rutting is?

"Six thousand six hundred sixty-six days? I don't know!"

Slit can't believe this guy! Sure, Nux happens to be the most innocent, gullible person he knows, but come on! All those nights he moaned in his sleep, sometimes arching his back—was he honestly just sick and not having rut-dreams?

Slit snatches the two dolls from his hands. "Can't believe I have to teach you everything!" he grumbles, tearing off Ken's black-and-white uniform. "Ya never gonna survive ten days if I get to Valhalla before you!"

With a sheepish but eternally-grateful look, Nux sits cross-legged on the bunk for his lesson. Good thing about Nux is he is an attentive student, and likes being taught new stuff about engines, how to tie his shoelaces or whatever.

The bunk makes a suitable stage for Slit's rutting lesson, and the Lancer kneels down in front of it. Making Barbie face Ken, both dolls having come-hither smiles by creation, Slit moves them towards each other. People put one foot in front of the other but somehow it makes sense just to make the dolls hop forwards.

"Out there you'll probably have to drag the girl by her hair, slap her around a bit to shut her up, keep her still, y'know. Okay, so Boy wanna rut with big tits here…" Slit begins, and claps the two faces together like how the Doof Wagon Taiko Boys clap their drumsticks together.

"Hey Slit! What're ya doin'?"

Slit freezes, Barbie with one leg up ninety degrees (stupid doll legs can only do front splits but not side splits!) in his right hand; Ken in his left hand with arms raised. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, he thinks, without daring to turn around.

"Hey, Morsov!" Nux looks up with a smile and waves. "Coma-Doof! Ah, everybody else!"

Slit wills himself to peek over his shoulder, to see half a dozen older War Boys, the ones he happens to actually respect, all staring at him playing with the Barbie and Ken dolls. Although he has no fucking idea if this is what people in other towns or worlds do for fun, he reckons that this sort of act should not have been witnessed by others. It seems almost as bad as that time someone found him with the exhaust pipe around his dick.

He clears his throat and speaks in a very slow voice. "I am… showing Nux… how to rut."

Someone lets out a derisive snort.

"Oh? Carry on. The patrol can take a break here." That shit-Lancer Morsov crosses his arms and leans against the wall to watch. Nux scoots a little to the side and gestures for Morsov to have the seat with the best view, but he shakes his head. Slit doesn't hear any of the War Boys leaving. All of them want to stay to observe Slit's sex education lesson.

Drawing on all his discipline, the same one he uses to stay calm in the midst of a raging battle, Slit tips Barbie and Ken horizontally with a slight clatter against the stone slab. In the most neutral tone of voice he could muster, he says, "This is standard."

"You gotta tell, not just show. I'm blind here!" Doof remarks. Slit stews a little. Why is the Coma-Doof Warrior wandering around the War Boys' barracks anyway? There's nothing to see let alone hear!

"The boy mounted on top is the most standard position," he clarifies.

"How many positions do you know, Slit?" someone challenges with a snigger.

As Slit tries to bend Barbie's legs to prop her up on her knees, he feels his face burning. It feels as if his cheeks are being sliced open again with knives, perhaps worse because there's no exhilarating gush of blood. Slit hopes to Holy V8 he doesn't blush like Nux does, and that his staples and greasepaint and mutilated ear do a good job of covering any color of shame.

If anyone—ANYONE—dares mock him over this tomorrow, or even looks his way and snickers, Slit swears he will ram the Barbie doll down that wretched boy's throat.

Through the midst of all this, Nux watches the lesson like a model student. Big blue eyes all transfixed, with hands scissoring his fingers together because he's making some kind of mental notes or something. Slit quashes a desire to bash his Driver in the head repeatedly with the Ken doll (it's bigger than Barbie). He can't exactly murder Nux for trying to ruin his hardass reputation… can he?

So Slit sighs inwardly as he carries on slapping Barbie and Ken against each other to his growing audience (Morsov keeps gesturing at War Boys passing by and quipping, "You gotta check out what Slit's doin'!" Nux does nothing to discourage this, because Nux's other infuriating trait is how much he likes to share, whether it's general knowledge or pain). In his mind, Slit fantasizes of a violent death, filled with explosions, searing flesh and sounds of Nux screaming in their burning car. He has to, otherwise he would certainly die of shame right then and that wouldn't be chrome.

Next Chapter: Nux gets Slit to babysit War Pups.