Hahahahah, I might actually keep my promise, holy crap.

Maybe. I'm trying at least. I've got, like, three days.

Skull's finally here!

Warning: Vipera is still around. So, profanity is a thing.

I don't own D. Gray Man or Katekyo Hitman Reborn


Viper sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he slinked out of Bermuda's office, a manila folder clasped in one hand. He was starting to suspect his boss was giving him back-to-back missions as a punishment for all the times he kicked down his door.

That, or he was finally fed up with Viper's attempts to steal a hat from his dapper guards. And Viper had been so sure of his strip-poker plan.

The folder was snatched from his hand in a moment of inattentiveness, but Viper wasn't bothered. The only person to interact with him other than Bermuda was his mentor.

"Another info gig," Vipera scoffed, crinkling her nose as she sifted through the pages of useless fluff information to find the juicy bits. "I keep tellin' ya, Angel Fucker, assassinations jobs are where it's at."

"Information sells for more," Viper argued, crossing his arms.

Vipera didn't deny it, snapping the folder shut and throwing it over her shoulder instead. "It's boring and time-consuming as shit. You could be here training instead. You still can't anchor an illusion to save your worthless fucking life and you expect me to trust you not to spit on the name of 'Viper' when I'm gone?"

Viper rolled his eyes and prayed for patience. "You have two more months. I'm sure I'll have it down by then."

"Not if you keep pissing 'Muda off, Angel Fucker," Vipera snapped. She whacked Viper over the head when it looked like he was going to argue. "I don't give a fuck if he murdered your mother in front of you, 'Muda holds your leash so fucking bark. We ain't got the time for alpha bullshit when you're gonna be the top Mist in this shithole. That means floating like a possessed child, warping reality like a god, and holding your illusions. Ya got two outa three – congratulations. You're just missing your fucking legs."

"Unfortunately," Viper said, spreading his hands helplessly. "Our esteemed employer has assigned me to observe the Cordana's for the next week."

"You better practice," Vipera threatened, her raised hand enveloped in an ominous indigo aura. A threat for those that don't know what she can do – for weak Mafiosi with only the bare knowledge of Flames. For them, it was a distraction – looky, looky at the pretty Flames, look at what I can do.

For Viper, it was an insult.

As if he didn't know what Vipera was capable of.

"Was there anything else you wanted or did you just come here to test my patience?" Viper asked.

"As if I could actually get you angry, Angel Fucker," Vipera said. "Nah, that dark pit you've got buried deep inside is for someone special. You can't trick a Mist. Can't fucking hide shit from them either, so don't try. It makes both of us look stupid."

"If you're expecting me to divulge my life story, I must apologize."

Vipera squinted at him, canting her head for a better look. "Fucking better. At this rate, you might become an actual person by the time I'm gone."

"You almost sound like you care," Viper warned her.

Vipera cackled. "You pasty-ass Angel Fucker – you shoulda been a comedian instead of landing your stunted ass in here." She stared him down with her yellow-eyed glare. "Listen up. No one in here or out there would so much as piss on you if you were on fire. Nah, you gotta find a Sky for that kinda aftercare, and a damn good one. I'll tell you this now, cause it's a bitch to learn on your own – if you got a Sky that ain't gonna hunt you down when you go missing or smack that disgusting fucking self-deprecating smile off your face, they ain't a Sky worth following. Ain't no one else is gonna care about you, so you better as fuck find a good Sky. Otherwise you'll either end up like the shits we drag back here or dead because you were too fucking stupid."

Viper reared back, startled at his counterpart's vehemence and sudden topic. Left startled and blinking, Vipera scoffed at him again.

"Keep that shit in mind on your terribly important mission to play peeping tom for 'Muda," she concluded, showing him the horns over her shoulder as she left, apparently done with him for the day.

"I'll never understand that woman," Viper decided.


There was a little known fact about Mammon.

He liked his sleep.

Sure, he might not sleep every night and he might spend more time trying to fall asleep instead of actually sleeping. But, the rare times Mammon fell asleep and stayed asleep? He cherished that time.

Disturbing his sleep was the easiest way to land yourself at the top of Mammon's possibly-too-long shit-list.

Skull, strangely enough, never learned this crucial lesson.

"MAMS," the Cloud Arcobelano whisper-screeched into the Mist's ear, throwing himself onto the over-sized bed with the zeal of a clueless child about to face his death.

"Mrph," Mammon responded, an eye opening a slit.

"Mams, comm'on, you can't leave me hanging for another second." Skull shook the Mist and Mammon flopped around like a doll. "We gotta do this right now. While Senpai's still in the dark. Mams. MAMS."

"I will castrate you with a rusty nail."

Skull paused, squinting down at the pissed-off blob he counted as his closest friend. "Like, in an illusion or in real life. Cause, Mams, I gotta tell you, I never know which one."

Mammon grinned through his gritted teeth, already feeling the weight of the bags under his eyes. "Guess."

Skull shrugged, losing interest. "Guess it doesn't matter, cause you're not gonna do it."

"Don't underestimate my spite," Mammon argued, digging himself out of his blankets. Fantasma ribbited, annoyed, before burrowing under the abandoned pillow to steal another hour or two of shut eye.

Mammon was not jealous.

"If you didn't kill Senpai for stealing your cloak, then you're not gonna hurt me for disrupting your beauty sleep." Skull canted his head, taking in Mammon without his usual shadow-illusion or cloak combo. He grinned. "Not that you need it, Mams. You get prettier every time I see you."

Mammon set a ravenous cousin of Hevlaska on the stuntman. As the Cloud screeched, running around the lavish room in a futile attempt to escape, Mammon stretched. He smacked his lips as he rubbed his eyes. He wrapped a tendril of Mist around himself and levitated.

Skull's shrieks reached a pitch that made Mammon's ear ring.

With a put-upon sigh, Mammon dismissed the tentacle beast and directed Skull into the air beside him.

"Ha," Skull panted out, looking way too satisfied with himself. "Knew I was your favorite, Mams."

Mammon dropped him.

On the bed, of course. He still needed Skull's help with reviving Xanxus Vongola. There was no benefit to killing him.

Yet.

"I love you too!" Skull crowed, muffled, into Mammon's comforter.

The Mist Arcobelano massaged his temple. He had regrets. So, so many regrets.


.I was gonna have Viper and Vipera bet on what Bermuda looks like beneath his bandages (the answer is that Bermuda is totally a black-faced lion tamarin btdubs) but I guess…I guess talking about Viper being a failure is okay too? Next chapter we get to meet other Snakes, I promise.

Skull is probs my favorite character to write. Like, he beats out Vipera and everything.

*squints to the side* Wrote this entire chapter while sick, so I can't promise it's actually good. I'm still 70% sure I hallucinated a tarantula, so I'm not really trusting my judgement. Better now, but I can't seem to determine whether or not I actually like this chapter. It's kinda a giant shrug.

Guest Reviews:

PureInsanity – I'll try and keep it running for as long as I can, then!

I hope everyone enjoyed this short chapter! Next up we get Skull meeting the Varia before we finally crack down on reviving Xanxus.