Authors Note:

I know I already have a story going but I thought I would share this…I haven't thought of a summary of the story yet but it will come to me eventually. I won't stop uploading my other story, in fact there will be a chapter with you or possibly two by the weekend. As always I do not own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, the characters belong to E.L James. This statement applies to the whole story. Thank you for reading!

I've always hated this time of year but this year especially, it's getting colder and colder each night, it rains almost every day, and sometimes you could even class it as snow or sleet. I just hope the snow holds off this year, it's the last thing I need. I often wonder how I ended up at this point, just over a year ago I had a place to live, and I had a warm place to sleep and a roof over my head but now look at me? Walking the streets of Seattle, walking from shelter to shelter in the hope of finding a bed for the night? Do I ever find one? Probably about once a week, two if I am being extremely lucky. Tonight though, I was one of the unlucky ones, every shelter was full so I had no choice but to continue walking just to try and keep warm, the clothes I had on were the warmest I owned and they didn't even keep me that warm, just a simple pair of dark denim jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. I also now owned a pair of gloves, I found some in a dumpster one night, they were ripped a little bit but they kept my hands warm so I was grateful for them, everything I owned was in my rucksack, my lucky rucksack as I called it, it contained another pair of jeans, another two t-shirts, socks, a broken umbrella, a notebook, a pen, a pencil and a toothbrush; that was everything I owned now, I had a little bit of money that got me by, I didn't carry it around with me, not all of it anyway, I kept it hidden and in a safe place where nobody could possibly find it, thinking about it I probably should go and get some in the next couple of days, I was running now.

Thinking back, it's been almost a year to the day that I ended up in this situation…I had a job, I was only an assistant but it paid and it got me a roof over my head, but my boss fired me because I wouldn't sleep with him, he didn't fire me at first, he manipulated me, bullied me relentlessly, called me all the names under the sun because I was shy, he knew I had nobody to count on, I don't have any friends and he used that to beat me down and make me feel completely worthless, ever since then, I've shied away from just about everyone, I don't speak, I don't look at anyone I just keep walking, endlessly walking around hoping to find a bed at night, because I didn't have a job, I couldn't afford the rent on my small one bedroomed apartment so I got evicted before I had managed to find another job, I'd sent out resumes to companies but I'd sold my phone and laptop for money, or a place to stay and without a phone or access to a computer I had no way of knowing if I had been granted a second chance. I was 23 years old, I should not be living my life like this but how was I supposed to change my life around like this, living like this? For that I had no answer…

I eventually had enough of continuously walking around the streets and went a nearby park for some peace and quiet. It's almost 1am so there really shouldn't be that many people around, if I could find some kind a shelter, a tree or something I could sit down, and rest for a while, my legs and back were beginning to ache a little, and my feet sore. The reason I say I tree is because I can easily hide away from anyone who happens to be in the park at this time, if I went to a nearby bench, someone would no doubt come up to me and that was the last thing I wanted. I walked through the park a little before finding the perfect spot, you would only see me if you was actually looking in my direction, I sat down and leaned against the tree and closed my eyes…No! I opened my eyes back open, I could not fall asleep here, I could only rest, not sleep. I opened up my rucksack in search of my notebook and my pen, these very two items were so sacred to me, my notebook was full of drawings, short stories, poems, songs and whatever else that came to mind…if ever something happened to it I know I would be heartbroken. I opened up my notebook to the last page I was at, it's a drawing of the world or my world to be exact and how I see it. I picked up my pencil and continued on drawing my idea of what my world was like…

I don't know how much time had passed, I always loved drawing it was my favourite thing to do besides reading books but as I didn't have any, drawing was all I could do, I didn't care if I wasn't very good at it, nobody would see it so what would it matter? As it was so quiet I was able to hear footsteps coming my way, I instantly froze and kept my eyes on the path that flowed through the park until a man came into a view, he was obviously out for morning run, he stopped dead on in my view. He didn't look out a breath so I didn't really understand why he had stopped but he had and it was then I was able to get a good look at him, my first thought was that he was beautiful, possibly the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life, he was young, definitely under the age of 30, copper messy hair, I couldn't see his eye colour as I was too far away, I still couldn't work out why he had stopped but I watched him anyway. I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone and answering it, I couldn't make out anything he said, I wish I could, I'd love to hear the sound of his voice but I would have to move closer and I couldn't let him see me. Sadly though, he took off running again, I felt sad all of a sudden, knowing that I would probably never see him again but I still had a picture of him in my mind, I turned over a page in my notebook and drew him, well of what I saw of him anyway, the rest I would just imagine in my own head.

I was so lost in my drawing that I hadn't realised it had begun to get lighter until I heard dogs barking on their morning walk with their owners or people talking or out jogging before they went to work. I'd been awake all night, I packed up my things, stood up and slowly walked away from the tree that had given me shelter for a night, maybe I could come back here more often, maybe I would see that man again? I was still thinking about him. I shook my head and pushed my thoughts of him aside and thought about something else, I was hungry, very hungry to be exact. I knew I had a little money on me, I could possibly get something to eat. I soon left the park and made my way back into the centre of Seattle in search of food. I wasn't a fussy eater, living like I do I didn't really have much choice because I never knew when my next meal would come in so I basically went for whatever was cheapest, normally I would just go into a local store but when I felt like treating myself I would go into a café and order something that would make feel pretty special, but most times if I did walk into a café I would be glared at, customers would shake their heads at me as if to say what nerve did I have to walk in here and buy something like a croissant, if I hadn't been to a shelter in the days leading up to me entering a café then the glares and comments about my appearance would be a lot worse, I had long brown hair but it was dead and flat, spending most of its time in a ponytail or in a messy bun at the top of my head, I would sometimes go over a week without washing my hair so it looked pretty lifeless, my face was dry, as was probably the most of my skin, I was very pale, skinny, my clothes were too big and I always had dark circles around my eyes because I hardly ever slept and when I did I would wake up because of nightmares and then I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I just stayed awake and if I was at shelter I left early and just walked around aimlessly.

Today I knew was going to be one of them days, it was coming up to almost a week since I had managed to spend a night in a shelter, I knew I looked at mess, I didn't need a mirror to tell me that, I felt more tired than usual, obviously due to the lack of sleep and lack of nutrients I was putting in my body, something had to change but I believed in nothing, I didn't believe in living happily ever after, I don't think I even believed in love, true love anyway, definitely not true love.

I eventually stopped outside a small café, it didn't look that busy as it was still quite early on a Monday morning, I decided to put on a brave face, risk it and go inside. I kept my head down as I made my way over to counter and waiting in line. I could feel eyes on me, but I refused to look up and see, the sooner I was served, the sooner I could leave and carry out my day of walking around. It got to my turn and I knew I had to look up and order, taking a deep breath I looked up and into a woman's eyes, she was bleach blonde, she was dressed to perfection, I could tell by the way she looked at me that she didn't appreciate this type of custom, I ignored it asked for two croissants, I felt like I needed two today, I knew I was going to regret it later but I was just too hungry for just one, for some reason the prices were not next to the food but I just assumed two croissants couldn't cost me that much so I risked it. When she didn't do anything other than stare at me I asked again, making sure I said please afterwards but again all she did was look at me, I was about to do it again for a third time, I already knew why she wasn't answering me but I decided to give it ago and ask again but instead she spoke at me, her words making me feel so small, smaller than I already felt every day.

"I think you are in the wrong place, you cannot afford these prices, please leave…" her voice sounded so cold, her eyes still glaring into mine, I froze not knowing what I should do, why must I be treated differently just because of the way I looked, did people think I actually wanted this for my life. I picked up the courage and found my voice, I was hungry and I didn't see why I couldn't just buy a croissant.

"I have money, all I am asking for is a croissant, I'll just have one…"

"You will get none, I do not welcome your kind of custom in my café, now I will ask you again, please leave immediately, I have customers waiting" for the first time in a long time, tears threatened to spill over my eyes and down my cheeks. I quickly turned around and started to make my way out of the café until I clumsily walked into something rock solid or should I say someone. Because I was so small and fragile I was knocked flying onto the floor, now tears were spilling down my cheeks, I needed to get out of here, I quickly stood up and then I completely froze, it was him, the very same man I saw running through the park in the very early hours of the morning, the same man I had drawn from my memory and looking at him now, he was even more beautiful, he was wearing a black suit, white shirt and no tie and I couldn't stop looking at him, for some reason he looked familiar but I couldn't think where from and he was looking right at me, his eyes were even more beautiful, grey eyes, my favourite colour. It looked like he was about to speak when the very same woman who had caused all this came over.

"I thought I had asked you to leave…" she snapped at me before turning to this beautiful man.

"Christian darling, it's so good to see you, how was your business trip?" Oh, you're nice to him…At first he didn't say anything, he was just looking at me as I was looking at him. I couldn't stand it any longer so I looked down, that was when he spoke and turning away from me, and his voice gave me goosebumps.

"Elena…why did you ask this" he began but she cut him off glaring at me.

"I won't say it again, leave now…" she shouted at me this time, my time was up, I quickly darted out of the café and back out onto the streets, still hungry.