Here is the next prompt! And of course it's going to be multiple chapters.

Sorry folks – no actual CoLu to be had in the first chapter. But I promise it will get there. Eventually.

Day 4: Rumors

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

A high pitched squeal erupted to Kinana's left, a sound so common to the purple-haired barmaid that it no longer startled her in the least. She sighed, continuing to wipe down the bar's countertop. Years of working at Fairy Tail had inured her to a lot of oddities surrounding her fellows there, but no matter how much time passed she could never quite understand her coworker's obsession with this thing called, "shipping."

Out of the corner of her eye, Kinana could see that Mirajane had ceased working. Fervently clutching her cleaning rag, coos of adoration were emanating from the Take Over Mage.

Kinana wondered which of the woman's would-be couples was having a "moment" this time. Honestly, this was getting a little out of hand! The demon mage would spend all of her time planning her schemes how to get her parings together, regardless of how the individuals themselves might feel about the subject. Also, Kinana was worried about her friend – this seemed to be taking over her life. Mirajane appeared to do aught else in her spare time other than fawn over her matches and plot ways to bring them into reality. Supposedly for the sake of babies to spoil.

Shaking her head, Kinana sighed once more. This seriously did not seem healthy to her.

Zeroing in on discontentment with a terrifying, preternatural accuracy, Mirajane sidled up to her coworker. "Is something the matter, Kinana?"

Chagrined at being caught, Kinana shook her head again. "No, not in particular. Thanks for asking, though."

The eldest Strauss sibling fixed her friend with a flat, disbelieving stare so out of place on her normally smiling visage, it had Kinana in a cold sweat. This… this was not good. "Really, Mira! I'm fine! Um…" Desperately, she tried to find a way to distract the demon mage's attention from her. "Which… which ship were you so excited about just now?"

Delight filled Mirajane's lapis eyes, causing them to sparkle with the sheer glee that coursed through her veins. "It was NaLu!" she trilled in happiness. "Natsu just stole Lucy's ribbon and tied it on Happy's head!"

Kinana… wasn't entirely certain how that counted as a romantic moment.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, for Mirajane then pointed at the partners. "See? Now she's chasing them around! Don't they make such an adorable little family?!"

Glancing over, Kinana observed as Lucy ran down her teammates and tackled them to the ground in a bid to recover her favorite red ribbon. Nothing about the altercation or the rage on Lucy's face seemed in any way a friendly interaction between the three.

Pity shone in Kinana's viridian orbs as she watched Lucy huff and stomp off to sit with Levy, ribbon firmly within her possession once again. The blue Exceed and salmon-haired Dragon Slayer lay in a groaning heap where Lucy had left them. "I don't know, Mira," she found herself saying. Unable to stop herself, she continued, "I think you're seeing something that… that… that doesn't exist."

Well. Now she'd said it.

Timidly, Kinana turned her head to look at her silent coworker. Mirajane's gaze was fixed upon the pair in question, glancing between them with a calculating gleam in her eyes. The white-haired woman then looked at Kinana. "Why do you think they wouldn't make a good couple?" she inquired, curious as to what was wrong with her matchmaking.

Kinana gulped, nervous sweat again breaking out on her brow. She tried to stay out of the craziness involved in most of the guild's daily workings, but she might have just placed herself right into the thick of it this time. "I just… I just don't," Kinana stated weakly, shrinking under Mirajane's intense stare.

"But why?" Mirajane asked, honestly perplexed by how Kinana couldn't seem to see what was so patently obvious to her. "Please, tell me why you think that. I'm not angry at you for disagreeing – just curious is all."

A shaky laugh warbled its way out of Kinana's throat. "Um… o-okay. Let me think for a second." When Mirajane nodded, Kinana swept her jadeite gaze across the guild once more. Lucy was fuming and venting at Levy, while the bluenette fixed her friend's side ponytail. Natsu, on the other side of the guild, was challenging Gray to another fight.

Licking her dry lips, Kinana then absently chewed on one, deep in her thoughts. Not only was she processing what she was seeing before her, she was also contemplating what she could recall of the partners' previous interactions. When she felt she was ready, she faced Mirajane once again. "Okay. I think I've got it."

Mirajane nodded at her enthusiastically to continue.

"I think they're just friends," Kinana confessed. "Like Natsu and Gray are. They like to tease each other, but that's pretty normal for close friendships. And I don't think Natsu respects Lucy's boundaries enough to make a relationship work with her. Also… Lucy has a hard time telling when she's going above Natsu's head which is a bit frustrating for him." She shrugged lightly. "That's pretty much it, really."

"I see," Mirajane acknowledged, eyes flicking over Natsu and Lucy briefly. "But shouldn't love be able to overcome minor obstacles like that? Also, having different interests isn't exactly a bad thing! It might be boring if they loved the exact same things, right?"

Kinana pursed her lips. "No, I don't believe so," she asserted. "It's fine to like and enjoy things that are different from your partner's likes and interests, but it's another to not respect them. I'm not sure this is minor, either. Lucy adores books and talking about books, and Natsu feels the same way about fighting. If they can't communicate well on things like that – and you've seen how explosive their arguments can get – how are they going to do so about the other things that come with being in a relationship? You can't just assume that love will make everything work out perfectly; it doesn't happen like that. I wish it did, but relationships need a lot of effort put into them. My boyfriend and I don't have a perfect relationship either, but we work hard and when we're able to resolve our issues, I fall just a little bit more for him. I don't see that happening with Natsu and Lucy."

It was true that her relationship with Dobengal had its ups and downs. The downs, though, came most often in the form of Erik being a bit of an overprotective best friend. Scratch that – a very overprotective best friend. Also, in keeping their relationship a bit of a secret from their guilds. Kinana was fairly certain that everyone believed she was dating Erik – a falsehood that Erik was only too happy to perpetuate because it kept the more perverted males in the guild from unduly bothering his best friend.

"Lastly… I think you need actual love to be present. I don't think they love each other as more than friends." Then Kinana sighed. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

The other barmaid shook her head. "No, I get what you're saying. Communication is the foundation for any relationship, not just romantic ones. I think Natsu and Lucy have what it takes to make it work, though. I mean, they've been partners for years so they must be able to resolve their differences somehow," she stated, adamant in her ship's validity. "But now you have me wondering about your opinion on the other ships!"

Dread settled in Kinana's stomach. "I don't really like speculating on the love lives of my friends, Mira. It kind of makes me feel like I'm intruding on something I shouldn't."

"Nonsense!" Mirajane said cheerfully. "We're just looking out for their future happiness is all!"

"How is that different from being a busybody…?" Kinana wanted to know.

"It's completely different!" the barmaid declared, though she offered no examples or explanations as to why that was. "Tell you what!" With a gleam in her eye that did not ease Kinana's churning stomach, she suggested, "Why don't you come up with alternate ships! I'm sure you know all of mine by now… so just figure how who you think would go best together! And then we can compare!" Nearly jumping up and down, Mirajane squealed with excitement at her idea. "This will be so much fun!"

Kinana had the sinking feeling that if she refused, the consequences would be dire.

Maybe Erik could help her out with this. If he was in a generous mood.

Though that involved contacting him on the communications lacrima and explaining how she'd gotten herself into this predicament…

He was going to laugh at her. She just knew it.

"Oh!" Mirajane added as an afterthought, "No asking your boyfriend for help! That's cheating!"

That was not going to be an issue. Erik was not Kinana's boyfriend, after all.

"What's this?" Cana deposited herself upon a nearby barstool, leaning in eagerly. "I heard something about cheating?"

Oh, no. Kinana was already embarrassed enough about being sucked into this endeavor, there was no way –

"Kinana and I are having a friendly competition with our ships!" Mirajane explained cheerfully.

Cana's eyes glittered with mischievousness, and her entire face lit up like only alcohol and gambling could make it. "Really? Well, why not make a friendly wager for this friendly competition? It'll only make things more profita – I mean… interesting. Fun. Yeah."

Mirajane started nodding along to what the Card Mage was saying. "Yes, I completely agree! That would definitely shake things up a bit!"

Kinana didn't think things needed to be shaken up any more!

Always prepared to take a bet down at a moment's notice, Cana whipped out a notepad from her fuzzy blue purse. "So what are the parameters?"

Tapping a fingertip against her lips, Mirajane contemplated it. "It would be a bit complicated to do a ship for every person… why don't we just list down my main ships, and have you come up with the same number? I would prefer that you include at least half of my people in yours, though."

Cana nodded. "Seems fair to me. Time frame?"

"One week!" Kinana squeaked. "I need time to come up with these!"

Dutifully, Cana scribbled it down. "A bit long, in my opinion. But okay. Now… what are you wagering?"

A sly, wicked smile slowly spread across Mirajane's face. "Kinana introduces her boyfriend to the guild… officially."

Her stomach now residing somewhere in the vicinity of her toes, Kinana swallowed dryly. "I c-can't wager that, Mira," she said. "That's a decision he and I have to make m-mutually."

Mirajane huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. "Fine, then." Idly, she tapped a long, delicate finger on her arm. "Alright then, how about this: I list my favorite ships right now. Then you have a week to come up with the same number of ships. Then we present them to the guild, and the members vote based on our justifications for them!"

"I like it!" Cana said, jotting it all down.

"Wait!" Kinana protested. "But that… that doesn't even make sense! What if there are no people in common for the ships?!"

Nodding, Mirajane acknowledged her reasoning. "Good point."

With a sigh of relief, Kinana thought, 'Great. Maybe we can call this whole thing off, then.'

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Cana smirked at the pair. "How about this – Kinana makes her ships based off of one individual in each of Mirajane's. There! Problem solved."

The white-haired woman clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Yes! That's perfect!"

Under her breath, Cana muttered, "And I can rake in the dough on bets for who Kinana chooses and the outcome. Plus reactions."

"Wait… no!" Kinana said, starting to get desperate. "There are so many problems with this! Won't the guild members get mad that we're plotting out their romantic lives? And I don't want to… to get up in front of all them, and say that I've been thinking that deeply about their personal affairs!" The very thought of it terrified her.

Cana laughed loudly, and then chugged back a bottle of wine. "You'll do fine," the Card Mage reassured the nearly-in-tears girl once the bottle was empty. She tossed the bottle somewhere over her shoulder, clocking Vijeeter in the head and causing him to topple off the table he was dancing upon. Falling onto Warren, a fight soon broke out between the pair and spread like wildfire on dry tinder to the rest of the guild.

Gently, Mirajane patted Kinana's shoulder. "They won't mind. It'll be entertaining for everyone. Even Lucy should get a kick out of it!"

Kinana had no doubt that Lucy was definitely going to kick someone. The lavendette just hoped that someone wouldn't end up being her.

LET THE SHIP WAR BEGIN.