Me: Hello and welcome to QUESTION TIME WITH THE TMI AND TID GANG! Say hello everyone!
Clary: Hey guys (everyone cheers)
Simon: Sup (everyone cheers)
Isabelle: What's up (guys scream)
Alec: Um, hi (girls aww)
Magnus: Hello darlings (everyone laughs)
Maia: Hey (guys shout)
Jordan: Hello all (girls shout)
Jace walks in late: Hey people, missed me? (Crowd swoons and Clary hits his arm)
Tessa: Good afternoon (crowd chuckles)
Jem: Hello (crowd says hello)
Will: Good day to you all, but it's better now that I am here (girls swoon)
Cecily: Shut up Will and hi! (Guys laugh)
Gabriel: Good morrows (girls scream)
Sophie: Hello? (Crowd claps)
Gideon: You are so adorable Sophie. Hola! (Crowd awws and cheers)
Jessamine: You are all idiots, but hello (Crowd boos)
Me: And that's the cast. OK, so now we have a bunch of questions to ask the Mortal Instruments gang. If the rest of you could go out please…
Tessa: OK, come along Will.
Will: But Tess…
Tessa: You are coming with me, we are engaged to be married after all.
Jem: Wait what? I thought you were marrying me?
Will: You are a Silent Brother Jem, you do not marry.
Me: Wait, I thought that Jem was a guy now?
Jem: Yes I am. Will, aren't you supposed to be dead?
Will: No. I came back for this show. I am marrying Tessa.
Tessa: I am marrying Will while he is still here. I will be marrying Jem when Will goes back.
Everyone: Oh!
Will: In what universe is that fair?
Jace: Man, you're my great great great grandfather, right?
Will: …yes…
Jace: You've got problems.
Will sighs: Yes, I realise.
Clary: Jace, it's rude to insult your great great great grandfather!
Me: TID GET OUT!
(The Infernal Devices characters get out of there)
Me: Phew. OK, so we have a question for Clary.
Jace: Ooh!
Isabelle: Jace, you're such an idiot!
Me: Clary, when did you first fall in love with Jace?
Magnus: That is a very good question.
Alec: Why's that?
Magnus: Because I already know the answer.
Jordan: How is that a good question if you already know the answer?
Maia: Let it go Jordy.
Jace: It's obvious that she fell in love with me when she first laid eyes on me.
Clary: Um, no. I fell in love with Jace when he was talking about the things that he loved. He has this really cute habit of being totally vulnerable when he talks about the Lightwoods or about his past. That's what I love about him.
Jace pulls Clary over to him and they kiss.
Maia: Aww, that's so sweet!
Isabelle: No, it's not.
Simon: I second that.
Me: OK, Simon, do you prefer being a vampire, human or a Shadowhunter? Also, did you prefer Isabelle or Maia?
Jace: Putting him in that position was a good move. (High fives me)
Simon: Well. Being a human was boring so that was my least favourite. Being a vampire was cool because I could walk in the sun but being a Shadowhunter has to be my favourite.
Me: Even if you can't remember your whole life?
Simon: I remember Izzy and Clary and most things, but vaguely drinking Jace's and Alec's blood.
Alec: Obviously you would remember that.
Jace: True dat.
Maia: What about that second question?
Simon: Can I stay silent?
Maia and Isabelle: SIMON!
Simon: Just kidding. I'd have to say Izzy.
Jordan: Good, otherwise we'd have a full out fight right here.
Maia and Isabelle: That would be kind of hot.
Me: Isabelle, which do you prefer, Meliorn the faerie knight or Jordan Kyle?
Simon: Izzy…
Isabelle: Don't worry Si.
Clary: Choose this answer well Jedi.
Jace: I have no idea what you just said.
Silence…
Magnus: This is going well.
Isabelle: I prefer…Jordan Kyle.
Jordan: I feel somewhat pleased, yet disgusted.
Maia: Stick with that Jordy.
Me: OK Alec!
Alec: I was not falling asleep.
Magnus: Sure you weren't honey.
Me: Would you rather be Alec Lightwood or Alec Bane?
Magnus: Whoa.
Jace: I think he'd rather be Alec Herondale.
Alec: Wha?
Clary: I think that right is reserved for me.
Will: And me and Tessa.
Me: Will! What are you doing here?
Will: I heard the call of the Herondale.
ME: Are you sure you didn't hear the call of the duck?
Jace and Will: Duck!? Where?
Me: I was kidding. You guys are such wimps.
Will and Jace: Take. It. Back. Now!
Me: I will if Will goes back to Tessa. Will, you don't know if Gabriel is molesting Cecily. Do you really want a Lightwood to be your brother in law?
Will: Not a Lightworm!
Isabelle and Alec: Hey!
Will runs off.
Me: Continue Alec.
Alec: Well.
Magnus: We will continue this, after a short ad break.