Disclaimer: I own nothing. All copyrights belong to their respective owners who brought these characters to life
Special thanks to my Beta Team Scarlett2U and Jemini219. Huge props to Scarlett2U for being extremely supportive and encouraging during this process, and given me wonderful ideas and recommendations to make this fic even better, and to Jemini219 for your wonderful editing. It wouldn't be nearly as good without you two
A/N: I'm officially back! First of all I would like to say thanks to those who kept encouraging me to continue to write when I felt unmotivated and wanted to quit, you guys made me want to continue. Now I feel motivated to write again. I would also like to apologize for removing my stories. I just felt I needed to start from scratch as my characterization had been way off. I plan on seeing my stories through this time, without ever deleting. So feedback, positive and constructive is welcome. I will take them all into account, and won't just delete this time. I will take it in account to improve my writing. That said, please keep reviews constructive for me to learn from.
This one-shot was prompted awhile back. They prompted a one-shot that was an AU of 5x06 where Blair was pregnant, but where it wasn't Louis's, so here's what I came up with.
Summary: What if Blair had been pregnant with Chuck's baby instead of Louis's. Would Chuck and Blair find their way back to each other, or will their past keep them separated forever. What is the right choice for Blair to make? How will Chuck deal with the news and Louis's retaliation? AU 5x06
Ch. 1 – The Right Choice
If anyone had told Chuck Bass a year ago that he would be going to therapy he would have scoffed at the mere suggestion. But that was the old Chuck; the new Chuck knew he needed therapy to work through the demons of his past. He didn't like what he had become.
Looking in a mirror, he saw a stranger in his shadows, someone that seemed foreign to him. He wasn't going to therapy because he wanted to, but because he had to for his own peace of mind. It was a necessity; he needed to find a way to move on.
As he entered the office he took in his therapist's appearance; she had straight, black, shoulder-length hair, hazel brown eyes and an optimistic smile. She seemed friendly, but he still felt uneasy in a therapist's office.
It's not that he didn't want to trust her. Call him a cynic, but that's how he'd always been and probably how he'd always be. The people who claimed to, or should have cared about him in the past had betrayed him, people like his uncle and his mother. Those betrayals and his father's constant disapproval had resulted in his skepticism of trusting others.
Trust doesn't come easily to him, so until he was sure she could be trusted, he would have to withhold information from her.
"The dream starts the same every time," he begins with a bitter smile.
"They have a habit of doing that," his therapist points out, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm taking an early stroll at my new billeted wing tips, when I look up and see the most magnificent skyscraper I've ever seen about a block away. I have to get inside, but every time I round the corner, it's still a block away."
"So what do you do?" she asked.
"I run the corner, but every time I reach the building –"
"You wake up," she finished for him. "What do you think the dreams are about?" she inquired, with intent interest.
Chuck didn't know how to answer that honestly. The last thing he wanted to do was to lie to his therapist, but he wasn't ready to tell her about Blair yet. There was nothing he regretted more than hurting Blair the way he had, which resulted in him losing her to the Prince of Monaco.
While he wasn't going to talk about Blair until he was ready, he decided he could tell a lie with some truth to it. "My father's tragic death, my mother's secret life, or perhaps my chronic oral fixation," he lied seamlessly, hoping his therapist wouldn't notice.
His therapist seemed nice and all, but he was sure that she wouldn't – couldn't-understand his actions. He couldn't even move on from what he had done, and probably never would.
Would she understand his actions? His therapist may live in New York, but she wasn't a part of their world. She wasn't an elitist. Would she understand his relationship with Blair?
Most people in their world judged people like them and he wasn't sure whether or not to expect the same from her.
"Charles, I appreciate your sense of humor, but –"
"You think it's a defense mechanism against intensive therapy," Chuck guessed.
He knew he wasn't being very informative in his therapy sessions. His past with the woman he deemed the love of his life brought up his most painful memories and made him ashamed of himself. He knew eventually it would have to be brought up in therapy, but, in the meantime, he would avoid it.
His past with his parents brought painful memories all by itself, with his father's neglect and detachment from Chuck, and his mother's abandonment and betrayal.
He acknowledged in his conscious that it was only a matter of time before the therapist would figure it out, that he was keeping information concealed from her, but he just didn't think it would be so soon.
"Be honest, you know you're holding back," she stated.
"How can you be so sure I'm hiding something?"
"Maybe I'm wrong," she agreed, "But I feel I'm missing a part of the puzzle. There's something you're holding back. It's not your father, nor your mother. There's someone you're not telling me about," she told him knowingly.
Chuck froze at her perception, it was only a matter of time before she figured it all out, before she figured out the puzzle that was "Chuck Bass" and Blair fit right into that puzzle. When she discovered Blair he would then be forced to bring up his mistakes and regrets involving her, which was a topic he wasn't ready to bring up yet. He would discuss them when he felt ready to take that next step in therapy.
His love life, or the wreck of it, was too agonizing to discuss only after knowing her for a week. He wanted to get to know his therapist and make sure she was the right fit for him first. He needed to make sure he could trust her, then slowly work through his issues, which would eventually lead to his most important, and painful, topic: Blair.
Chuck checked his watch. "Well, would you look at that?" He got up and grabbed his coat. "I think our session is over."
"Charles, we still have a few minutes," she pointed out. "You're avoiding the topic because it's something that frightens you, but until you talk about it, you won't be able to be at peace with yourself. You're avoiding the inevitable. When you're ready to take these therapy sessions seriously, you know where I'll be."
Chuck knew she was right, but he just wasn't ready. He decided he could really avoid what was inevitable over a glass of scotch. He then ambled out of her office and towards his waiting limo.
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"Hello, Dr. Barnes!" Louis called out to the therapist that he paid to scout out Chuck's personal life, to find something to destroy him with. No, 'scout' was too weak a word; humiliate and extinguish was more precise. Louis's knowledge of Chuck's feelings gave him an advantage to his ultimate goal: to make Chuck suffer and lose Blair forever.
"Louis!" she called back, clearly feeling apprehensive around the prince.
It wasn't everyday he requested a therapist to reveal confidential information about one of their patients after all, but Chuck was a special exception where he felt he had to do this.
He had asked her to meet outside of the Consulate General of Monaco in New York City. The consulate's offices were located in a high-rise on Fifth Avenue, with the entrance decorated with a gold lion logo that represented house Grimaldi of the principality of Monaco. The perfect place for him to meet Chuck's distrustful therapist. He wasn't sure if he could completely trust her, but he had leverage to ensure her loyalty.
Years ago, Dr. Barnes' father had a business relationship with the royal family and had incurred massive debts. Louis had bailed her father out, paying off his debts, in exchange for one thing: that she work for him, and surveiling Chuck seemed like a perfect way for her to pay off that debts.
Louis handed her a thick envelope.
"What's this?" she questioned wearily.
"The rest of what I owe you," he established. "This will clear your father's debts, I told you it would be worthwhile."
"What do you want me to do?" she snapped. The last thing she wanted to do was to betray a patient's confidentiality, especially one who was trying his best to heal.
"Just make sure that my fiancée never falls for him again."
Louis knew what he was doing was desperate, but he had to ensure that Blair Waldorf would never fall in love with Chuck Bass again. His future as Blair's husband depended on it
The last thing Louis wanted was to be second choice to Chuck Bass. He needed to remind Blair Waldorf why she chose him instead of Chuck, and he couldn't have Blair crawling back to Chuck, ignoring everything he had done.
That's what killed him the most. Despite Chuck's wrongs, he knew that Blair still loved him, but was trying to wrestle with those feelings. He needed to remind her why she was with him and not Chuck Bass.
In his mind, Blair choosing Chuck would be a mistake. He knew Chuck would just break her heart again or worse, not to mention Louis had the power to make Blair a real a princess, something not even Chuck Bass had the power to do. As much as he hated what he was doing, it was a necessary evil, Louis only wanted Blair to be happy, but he knew how she felt about Chuck, and that made him feel threatened by the younger Bass.
"Louis, that's up to Blair," Dr. Barnes said cautiously, being careful not to agitate him further. On the surface, Louis seemed compassionate and peaceful, but she knew better. Louis had a menacing side to him, a side that made her feel uncomfortable around the royal prince.
"No, that's up to you," he roared. "Chuck's a ticking time bomb. Find his fuse and light it." He walked away irately, hoping she would make the right choice about the young Bass.
He remembered how his blood had boiled, not much longer than a week ago when he had found the paternity test for Blair's baby, revealing that he was not the father to her child.
It was after Blair and Louis had announced Blair's pregnancy to their corresponding parents. While Eleanor had not been thrilled by the news, thinking Blair was too young to be a mother, not to mention not even married to the Prince yet. But she had come around, realizing what a wonderful mother Blair would be.
That thought drove him into a deep, agonizing rage. It was after Blair had left to have dinner with the two families, Waldorf and Grimaldi that he had spotted a thick, ripped envelope with a red seal on it with the word 'confidential' on it.
That caught Louis's attention. He knew he shouldn't have pried into Blair's personal affairs, that he should trust her, but somehow he just knew he had to see the contents of that envelope. Something inside his gut was telling him that she was hiding something from him, something vital. So he broke her trust and peeked inside and spotted that it was a paternity test.
Louis had been so joyful at the prospect of being a father, of finding the perfect bride to be the mother to his heir. But his hopes and dreams had come crashing down when he realized that her ex had impregnated his fiancée, that it was Chuck's baby and not his. He knew this meant Blair had been unfaithful to him.
It had made his chest burn with rage hotter than a volcano erupting. It had turned his world upside down, but more than anything it had made him confused. The only explanation was that Blair cheated on him with Chuck, but when? That's what he kept asking himself, before it dawned on him.
He recalled Blair was about ready to end things with him on the night of the Constance party. Was that when she had sex with Chuck? Just thinking about it made his blood boil in anger.
He had been nothing but good to her, and she had sex with her ex while engaged to him. When he found out that Chuck had impregnated his fiancée it made him want to bury his fist into Chuck's face. More than that, he wanted to kill Chuck Bass. It's not like he didn't have the resources to hire a hitman, but he knew Blair would never forgive him if he did, so this was the best alternative.
He never thought he could hate a human being that much, but he was wrong. Chuck brought it out in him. He hated the fact that Blair would be tied to that bastard for life, but what he hated most of all was that there was a chance Blair still had feelings for him, and that this could be what brought them back together, or made them realize how they truly felt about each other.
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Chuck sat in his chair reading the business section of the paper. Chuck desperately wanted to become a better person, and he hoped that the therapy would help him with the process. With a new Chuck, he hoped to rebrand Bass Industries, to step outside his father's shadow.
Just as his mind began to drift to Blair, he heard the elevator ding. To say he was surprised would be an understatement. Nate was at the Spectator, and Blair wasn't part of his life anymore, so that meant it could only be…
Dr. Eliza Barnes.
That was definitely a surprise, Chuck thought. The last thing he expected was for her to make a house call when he was off work.
"Dr. Barnes," Chuck greeted. "What brings you here?"
She began to head out of the elevator and into the lounge area. "A house call is a little out of the ordinary in my line of work, but I feel our last appointment ended a little abruptly," she explained. "May I sit?"
"Of course," Chuck agreed, gesturing for her to take a seat.
"I thought that if I had a chance to enter your environment, get to know your surroundings, it might help with your recovery" she further explained, taking a seat on the sofa.
"While I admire your persistence, I swear to you I'm not hiding anything from you or myself," he lied. "I'm an open book."
At least that's what he told himself.
He knew that he was hiding something from her, mainly his past with Blair. But he hoped it wouldn't be necessary to his recovery, but he was fooling himself. His past with Blair contained some of his most painful memories, and he'd rather try to forget about them than deal with them.
Chuck regretted losing Blair, but mostly he regretted the things he had done to her in the past. It made him hate himself. Seeing himself cause her so much pain made his heart feel like it was being ripped apart.
He realized that he would have to talk about it eventually, but he wasn't sure if he was ready yet, or if he ever would be, for that matter. That's why he was avoiding the inevitable for as long as he could.
"Good," she responded. "So let's skip to the chapter about Blair Waldorf."
Chuck instantly froze at her knowledge of the girl he loved; he didn't expect the doctor to be so perceptive. How did she know about Blair Waldorf? He didn't expect her to read Gossip Girl or anything. "I don't really see how my history with Blair is relevant to my therapy," he said, wanting to move away from this topic as fast as possible.
"It's relevant if she is the source of your suffering. Aren't you upset that the love of your life is marrying someone else?" Her question was gentle but direct.
"I let her go, and let's leave it at that," he said evasively, knowing that he willingly let her go was the furthest thing from the truth.
"So you're saying that you're not in the least bit upset?" she asked. "Has it ever occurred to you that your denial of these feelings is what's making it so hard to move on? You can't move on until you let it all out," she tried to push. "You have to accept the fact that you didn't let her go, you lost her to someone else."
Chuck turned to face her, his resolve weakening. "You don't know what I did," he said, his voice rising. "But yes, maybe there's something else I need to do if I'm ever going to move on, I don't want to lie to you anymore, and I don't want to lie to myself."
Blair was the best thing that has happened to him and he destroyed it all for the sake of his father's empire and secrets. He truly lost the only thing he ever cared about.
But if he was to move on with his life, he had to truly let her go, in actions and words, which meant he had to let go of everything, to give Blair the happy life she deserved with Louis. With Louis, she shined brighter than the sun; that's the Blair he loves, but can't be with.
He moved towards his safe, punching in the code. The safe opened easily, he found the item he was looking for, an item he had held on for over a year, ever since their relationship had ended. He held onto it with the hope that one day they would reunite.
But that dream had faded into a distant memory, and now he had to let the Harry Winston ring go. If he truly wanted to let Blair go, that meant he had to let the ring go too. He handed Eliza the ring. "If I really let Blair go, then I don't need this anymore," he said, displaying the engagement ring.
Eliza studied the ring with her own two eyes, gazing at its perfection. "It's beautiful," she smiled.
'Yes, it is,' Chuck thought, but he knew he had to let it go in order to move forward with his life. It was the only way to let go of his past with Blair, and start a new life for himself.
He remembered when he had first bought the ring for her. He had decided that he wanted to marry Blair. He knew things were rocky between them, and he was aware of the fact he needed to do more than propose to prove to her that he loved her, but that didn't change the fact he wanted to marry her.
He couldn't name the exact moment he knew he wanted to marry Blair, but he knew it was long before their breakup in the spring of Blair's first year at NYU. It had been tough for her to fit into college. The more he thought about the exact moment he knew he wanted Blair to be his wife, the more he realized it was the anniversary of his father's untimely death.
The day had been hell for him. As if being haunted by Bart Bass weren't dreadful enough, he also had doubted himself more than he had in a very long time. Bart had taunted him that Blair made him weak, but really she made him stronger, stronger than he ever thought he could be.
Blair had been what kept him together, kept him from going insane. She stood by him through it all, even when he began to push her away. Despite all his actions, he feared he would lose her, but instead she stood by him, encouraged him.
And he loved her for it.
He knew in that moment that Blair was his everything.
It had been too late though. In the coming months they drifted further apart, until he completely destroyed what they had.
But he knew he had to find a way to win her back. He had even gone to France to get Harold's blessing, which he got under the condition that if Blair refused him, he had to let her go for good.
He remembered the exact moment he saw the ring.
He had gone to Harry Winston-there was just no better suited choice to buy the most beautiful engagement ring he could find. It needed clarity, sparkle and beauty.
He found it displayed in the store and he knew at that moment it was Blair's ring. It was a perfect match for her; it would represent Blair's beauty and clarity
But then he lost her again.
It hurt more than he could pour into words.
But now it was too late for that, too late for them. Blair is with the prince and Chuck is moving on with his life and ensuring that she gets her happy ending with said prince.
"I bought it for her" he revealed sadly. Handing the engagement ring to Dr. Barnes rather painfully, emotions flooded his mind. "Just take it away. Donate it to a charity or something, but just take it away"
Dr. Barnes accepted the ring from Chuck's hands, wondering why he was giving up so abruptly. She didn't know much about her patient beyond their few therapy sessions, but what she did know was that Chuck loved Blair with all his heart. More than words could describe, and it pained her to see Chuck in so much agony, losing the love of his life.
She saw the way Chuck shut down whenever the topic came up in therapy, and she saw the pained expressions that graced his features. She saw how quickly he would change the subject, knowing that it made him uncomfortable to talk about.
She felt empathy for Chuck; she knew what it was like to lose the person you really loved. She heard some of her patients tell similar stories in her sessions with her. She knew Chuck thought he was doing the right thing, but she didn't feel that he or Blair had made the right decision at all.
She came to learn that Chuck loathed himself and his actions, as if he didn't deserve to have love in his life or to be loved. She observed Blair's relationship with the Prince, and she didn't believe she loved the prince the same way the prince wanted her to, in the way she loved young Bass. She could see it in the blank gazes that simmered between Blair and Louis, and the fake smiles they exchanged.
It almost seemed as if Blair were convincing herself that she was making the right choice, as if Blair and Chuck didn't realize that they were perfect for each other.
"Okay, Charles, if that's what you want." Dr. Barnes took pity on the young Bass as she accepted the Harry Winston ring from Chuck's outstretched hand.
With the engagement ring in hand, Eliza headed towards the elevators with determination. She was going to help Chuck heal and find peace with himself if it was the last thing she did. Louis be damned, she no longer could go through with what he was asking of her; it wasn't right. She got out her cell phone and typed a message to the Prince.
I'm sorry I can't do this
She hit send as the elevator doors shut behind her.
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Louis impatiently waited in Central Park for Dr. Eliza Barnes, needing to speak with her immediately. The thought of Dr. Barnes growing a conscience about Chuck Bass was so hilarious he laughed at the thought. He wanted to destroy Chuck Bass no matter the cost, to ensure he had a future with Blair, and he couldn't have his ally growing tender-hearted towards Bass now. It sickened him.
She had been ignoring his calls like the plague, and he was beginning to worry she would no longer help him with his plan against Chuck. He decided that paying Dr. Barnes a visit at the dog park might get her to see the error of her ways.
Spotting Dr. Barnes near the entrance of the park with her dog, Louis was able to reach her in a few quick strides. "Hello, Dr. Barnes," he drawled out venomously, hot bile rising stronger than acid.
"You shouldn't be here," she stated as she continued walking down the path with her dog. God, why couldn't he just leave her alone?
"And I wouldn't be if you had returned my calls," he pointed out, irritated.
"I told you, I'm done," she stated, making her final decision. She couldn't do this to Chuck anymore. "I can't be responsible for destroying a man who is trying his best to heal himself."
"And what about our agreement?" Louis still sounded annoyed.
She sighed. "Why don't you tell me why you are doing this?" She wanted to understand why Louis was willing to throw everything, including his relationship with Blair, away just to destroy Chuck. There was something he wasn't telling her, she could sense it in his stony expression.
"Why?" he snarled, "Why do I want to destroy the ex-boyfriend of my fiancée? Isn't it obvious? She needs to see what kind of a man he really is!"
"And exactly what kind of man is he?" Her voice was firm. "From where I stand, he's doing everything in his power to make up for his misdeeds."
Louis raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. "People like Chuck don't change," he said acidly.
"Anyone can change if they try hard enough," Dr. Barnes said with conviction, almost as if she believed the words that rolled off her tongue.
"Anyone else, sure," he amended, "But Chuck? He's practically the spawn of Satan, and I can't have a man like that take away my fiancée."
"Why so much animosity towards a man you hardly know, all because of his past with a girl he let go of?" Her interest in his answer was genuine.
"Because he doesn't deserve her," Louis drawled.
"And you're basing that opinion off what? Your current relationship with Blair Waldorf?"
"That and his history with Blair," he explained
"All which is in the past," she said steadily. "Did you ever consider maybe it's time to let go?"
Dr. Barnes had never seen any member of the Grimaldi family appear so threatened by another human being. It almost surprised her. She had met many members of the royal family of Monaco, but none seemed as spiteful as Louis.
She felt as if there were still something he was keeping hidden from her, a feeling she'd become quite accustomed to with Chuck. "What aren't you telling me?"
"I told you, Chuck doesn't deserve her," he spat
"No that's not it," she provoked. "There's a piece of the puzzle missing."
"How can you be so sure of that?"
"Louis, I'm not stupid. I know that look of hatred in your eyes, and I know what that hatred will do to you-it will tear you apart from the inside. I know there's something you haven't told me about this whole arrangement, so spill," she coaxed.
"She's pregnant with his child" he finally revealed after much hesitation.
How had Louis stumbled upon this information? Somehow she didn't think even Chuck knew he was going to be a father or that Blair would reveal this information to her fiancée. Did he hire someone to look into it?
It certainly explained his burning hatred towards the young Bass, his plan of revenge, his animosity towards Chuck, and his mistrust in Blair Waldorf.
This explained everything, and this confirmed all her suspicions.
Blair was still in love with Chuck.
"And this is what everything is for? Revenge because he slept with your fiancée?"
"No," he lied. "This is about showing Chuck that Blair's mine, not his. It's about Blair needing to realize Chuck's not the man for her."
"That's up to Blair, not Chuck, and certainly not you," Dr. Barnes articulated. "I'm sorry, but it changes nothing, I can't be responsible for destroying another human being, all because of a debt. I'll find another way to pay the rest of what I owe to your family."
Louis felt his heart stop and his chest tightened in fury. Couldn't she see? It's not that he wanted to mess with Chuck, it's that he had to. Otherwise Blair would fall in love with him again, and he couldn't let that happen.
He would do anything to make sure it didn't happen again, and he wouldn't stop until Chuck felt like he had nothing. Until Chuck was nothing to Blair. He would push Chuck over the edge, he would make Blair realize that Chuck was damaged and can't be saved.
He needed Blair to see the monster that Chuck was, and he wouldn't rest until this was achieved. And if Dr. Barnes wouldn't help him, well…
Hiring a hitman sounded good right about now, eliminating Chuck out of the picture for good.
But he knew Blair would figure it out, and would never forgive him, so he had to resort to other measures.
He wouldn't rest until Chuck was out of their lives for good.
Unbeknownst to Louis, there was a mysterious figure watching the intense exchange between Louis and Eliza Barnes.
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In the shadows, Chuck watched as Louis handed his therapist money.
His heart stopped, realizing what was going on, the familiar feeling of betrayal spreading through him. He'd started opening up to her about his personal life, about his history with Blair, and she'd betrayed him to the Prince.
Louis had Blair; wasn't that enough for him? No, he also had to destroy him, but why, Chuck asked himself. Chuck had let Blair go, let them have their chance at happiness without any regret. All he ever wanted was Blair's happiness, even at the expense at his own, and yet Louis was still determined to destroy it, to take Chuck down.
Trust never came easily to Chuck before. He'd trusted his mother and look where that got him. But he had begun to believe he could trust his therapist, because she seemed to take an interest in him, but that got him nowhere either.
Was there anyone he could really trust?
His life had been chaotic in the last few years. He'd tried to do something about it, but he was fooling himself, thinking anyone could help him. No one was willing to help him, and nobody ever would be.
Chuck swiftly traced his thumb over his phone and dialed his therapist's number. "Hi, Dr. Barnes, I think I'm in trouble," he lied, coming up with a plan in his head. "I need your help."
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The Spectator party was in full swing. Of course Chuck was invited by Nate and came to support his best friend in his new position at the Spectator, but he had a bigger goal to achieve: exposing the truth about Louis.
Louis appeared all suave and charming to the outside world, but Chuck knew better. From the way he was working with his therapist that Louis had a dark side to him. No one was that perfect, he knew from experience.
But Louis wouldn't let that happen, he had to ruin those chances for him. Chuck decided he was going to fight back and show Blair—and the public, for that matter-the truth about her fianceé. All Louis had to do was leave him alone and everything would have been fine, but no, he couldn't even manage that. So now Chuck would expose his secret.
Maybe once he exposed Louis to Blair and to the world, the Prince would finally back off. Chuck needed him to, so that he could finally have a real chance of moving on and finding peace with himself. He only hoped to catch Louis off guard with the element of surprise.
Walking down the steps towards the party, which was being hosted by his best friend's boss and girlfriend, he saw the man who had been plaguing his thoughts recently standing beside the love of his life.
Louis fucking Grimaldi.
"Your highness," he said dryly, "Always a pleasure."
"Knock it off, Bass," Blair responded in an irritated tone.
Chuck just smirked to himself, knowing if tonight went as planned, Blair would be able to see straight through Louis and get him back on track and steer him away from his path of revenge. It was extremely annoying not to know what that revenge was even about.
What reason did Louis have? His relationship with Blair was stable, as far as Chuck knew. It wasn't like Louis knew what happened between him and Blair at the Constance party, right? If he did, how on earth could he have found out?
He pushed that thought out of his mind. If he continued to dwell on it, it would just cause thoughts of her to float into his mind, and he couldn't let that happen.
Chuck made his way into the party, meeting Nate's girlfriend and boss. "Hi, you must be Diana Payne," he said, extending his hand. "I've heard so much about you."
She looked at him with curiosity. "All good things, I hope, Mr. Bass," she said, shaking his hand.
As Chuck gazed into her hazel eyes, he swore there was something familiar about her that he couldn't quite place. Had he seen her before she had met Nate?
"I'm sorry, but have we met before?" he asked, curiosity entering his mind. Who was she, and why did she seem so familiar to him?
Was she one of his father's conquests? Somehow Chuck didn't think so. She seemed like someone of importance. Could he have met her through his father? He shook the thought away.
"I don't think so," she denied. "I think I would remember if we had."
Diana excused herself and headed towards the crowd to reveal her plans for the Spectator. "Excuse me, can I get everyone's attention please?" she spoke loudly and clearly, quickly silencing everybody and making the room dead silent.
"When I revamped the New York Spectator, I made a promise to my investors that my stories would be true," she began. "Anything I print will be verified and confirmed before it gets published," she continued, eying the crowd. "So I'm stealing your best stories. If anyone has a story for me, let's hear it, and after it's verified, it will be printed," she spoke confidently, hoping someone would give her a story worth printing.
Chuck saw this as part of his plan and was prepared to act on it. He had the element of surprise. Neither Louis nor Eliza knew that he knew about their scheme and he hoped to keep it that way. "I have a story for you," he said as he walked up to the stage beside Diana.
"So let's hear it, Mr. Bass," she replied, hoping it would be something worthwhile. If it was, it would be exactly what she needed to get the Spectator up and running.
"My therapist, Dr. Eliza Barnes," he started, flicking his gaze over to the woman who had betrayed him so deeply, "has been performing unspeakable acts in her practice."
As if on cue, his therapist walked onstage, shocked by Chuck's outburst. She locked eyes with the crowd, then with Chuck. "Excuse me, I'm Dr. Eliza Barnes, and I assure you none of this is true."
'Much' Chuck thought bitterly. So she was trying to play the innocent lamb. He knew that he might be going a little far accusing his therapist in public. However he didn't care; she had betrayed him and he could no longer trust her.
The only people in his life who he could trust were Nate, Lily and Serena; it was mistake to trust anybody else.
Dr. Barnes stepped towards Chuck, looking into his slanting eyes. "Chuck, it's okay. You're in a vulnerable state right now," she tried to say, trying to calm him down and get him to see reason.
Chuck wasn't having it though. "I wonder why," he said acidly, "Maybe because I just found out my therapist has been taking money to reveal confidential information about me."
"Chuck, why are you doing this?" Blair questioned, wanting Chuck to stop causing a scene.
"You don't believe me," Chuck observed. "Maybe you should ask your fiancée. He was the one paying her." Chuck's dark hazel eyes captured Blair's before glaring venomously at Louis.
Blair just glared at her husband-to-be accusingly. "You what?!" she snapped, shocked.
"Blair," Louis began, hoping to sound reassuring, "I can explain."
"I need some air," Blair stated before she took off.
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Blair angrily marched down the staircase outside the Spectator party. She couldn't believe Louis's actions. As much as she wanted to blame it on Chuck's outburst and on her own actions, Louis had acted out of malice.
Blair felt hurt by Louis's actions. She had always seen Louis as the opposite of Chuck; it was one thing that had drawn her to him. While Chuck was tortured and damaged, Louis was gentle and sweet. She loved the fact that he was willing to give up his throne for her, but now she didn't know what to think.
More importantly she didn't know why he was doing this to Chuck, why he was acting so maliciously . She had thought he was better than that.
"Blair, I can explain," Louis desperately said, following Blair down the stairs.
"Explain what?" she angrily snapped. "How you paid Chuck's therapist to spy on him?"
"Blair..."
"Why?" she demanded, "Why would you pay Chuck's therapist to do that?"
The thought created an uneasy feeling in the depths of her stomach.
Chuck was many things, and his behaviour tonight was questionable. She accepted months ago that she and Chuck were done, or so she told herself. She believed Chuck would never change, that he had given up on them, and she found someone who truly loved her. She had to believe that.
But spying on Chuck? She didn't think Louis could ever do something so cruel. She saw that Chuck was trying his best to heal, so what reason did Louis have to ruin that?
Could he know about her and Chuck's hookup or even the fact that the child that was growing inside of her was Chuck's?
She tried to push that thought away, but it kept coming to the surface no matter how much she had tried to let it drift away.
Louis reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope that said confidential on it, and from Blair's expression, she knew exactly what it contained. "I found the paternity test," he spat angrily, his anger coursing through him hotter than a volcano.
"Oh my God," Blair muttered quietly. She saw the pained expression on Louis' face. No wonder he schemed against Chuck; he felt threatened by him. It still didn't help Chuck's recovery though, and she still thought he should've come to her about it, but she understood now how he felt.
She felt guilt plunge into her at the thought that she was marrying Louis while carrying another man's child. She knew she was being unfair to both the men in her life, but she was at a crossroads.
She loved Chuck, but he had let her go so she could be happy with a man who loved her. She had no idea if Chuck still wanted her. She thought she was making the right choice by following her head instead of her heart, but she knew her heart desired Chuck. She just didn't know if she could listen to her heart anymore.
"You didn't tell me you weren't sure who the father was," he snarled. "How could you not tell me? Don't you think I deserved to know I would be raising another man's child?"
Blair thought about this before answering. She wanted to tell him, but she wasn't sure what she could say. Would he have left her if she told him the truth? She knew the extent of Louis's hatred towards Chuck, and she feared that he would hate her child as a result.
She thought by not telling Louis the truth, he could grow to love the child that was Chuck's, without having to learn the truth. "I didn't know how to tell you the truth," she whispered.
"So you were going to let me raise a baby that wasn't mine," he said snidely. "You were going to have me raise a bastard."
Blair forced herself not to cry at Louis's harsh words, but she also knew there was some truth to them. This child would be a Bass biologically, not a Grimaldi, and would be raised as a bastard. The child would never be able to ascend to the throne of Monaco. "No," she lied, but saw Louis expression as he didn't believe her, so retracted her answer "I don't know," she answered honestly. She hoped honesty would be the best way to approach this.
"When did it happen?"
Blair blinked in surprise to his question. Was he asking when she cheated on him? Guilt started to seep into her mind. "When did what happen?"
"You and Chuck," he asked, not harshly, but painfully, as if he didn't want to know the answer, but was forced to.
"Louis…," she tried, but was cut off.
"I think I deserve to know when the bastard impregnated my fiancée," This time there was a harshness in his voice. "So I'll ask again. When did it happen?"
Blair forced herself not to let any tears stain her cheeks as the guilt found its way into her head. She knew Louis deserved the truth, but could she face the truth herself?
A part of her knew she would always love Chuck, but was it enough? Would Chuck be enough after everything they'd been through together? Or would they combust? She may be carrying Chuck's child, but just maybe, with the right approach, she could get Louis to see reason and be there for her and her unborn child, or so she hoped.
Or was she just kidding herself? Maybe it was time to accept that Chuck would be the one she always loved, but she just couldn't bring herself to let go of this fairy tale.
With Louis, it was always safe. She knew that he loved her, but could he love her child too? That's something she needed to know before she made her decision, but she also knew Chuck needed to know the truth too, and maybe all of them could figure it out together.
"Louis, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," she began, before she saw Louis' eyes shoot daggers at her, not interested in her excuses.
"Blair, I'm not interested in your excuses, just the truth. Now." His tone was razor sharp.
Blair stared at him painfully, knowing this might be the moment she loses him, but she also knew it had to be done. "It was the night of the Constance party. I had received a frantic phone call from security at Chuck's new hotel telling me that Chuck was contemplating suicide. They told me he was standing on the edge of the building." The painful memories of that night came rushing back to her. Despite everything, she couldn't lose Chuck that night, or ever. "And I believed them."
"What do you mean you believed them? Was that not what was going on?" he asked sympathetically, despite how irritated he was at the situation.
"I saw the way Chuck was coping after my engagement to you, so I was worried that maybe he might try to take his own life, but no, it that's not what was happening. I was played by Russell Thorpe. He did it to get me alone with him. He knew that if he could hurt me, it would destroy Chuck, so he used that to his own advantage," Blair explained.
"Who's Russell Thorpe?" Louis asked, already hating this man for trying to hurt Blair. In fact, he thought he might find him and kill him about now.
"He was an old enemy of Bart Bass, Chuck's father," Blair explained. "They went way back. Turns out Bart screwed him out of every business deal, and was sleeping with his wife, so he tried to seek his revenge on the Bass name by trying to buy out Bass Industries to sell to the highest bidder," she clarified. "He lost everything because of Bart and he blamed Chuck for losing his daughter, who had learned the truth about Russell."
"What happened next?" Louis asked, wanting to get this over with. He was sure he was going to hate Chuck Bass more than ever after the story was over.
"I called Chuck," she said with a sense of unease in her voice, as she wasn't sure how Louis would react, but she knew it wouldn't be a pleasant reaction. "He was on my speed dial, number 1. I knew he was my best option at the time," she elaborated
"Russell was trying to kill me to hurt Chuck," she continued as she tried to wrestle off a tear that was threatening to fall as the memories came rushing back. "Chuck ended up coming to his new hotel to save me from Russell's clutches. He succeeded; Chuck saved me. We waited until the police arrived to give our statements, and Russell was arrested."
"Okay, so then why didn't you call me after you were safe?" This time there was a sense of irritation in his voice, as if he believed Chuck took advantage of the situation to seduce his fiancée, which couldn't be further from the truth. Blair had made the choice on her own.
"Because it was late, and I didn't think you would still be there, I thought you would have left by then if I'm being completely honest," she confessed. "So Chuck offered to buy me a drink. We ended up crashing a bar mitzvah. We had fun, and I forgot what it felt like to feel that way with Chuck again- happy. One thing led to another and as Chuck was about to take me back to you, I pulled him into a closet, and we ended up having sex," she finally drawled out with a sense of guilt in her voice, guilt for cheating on her fiancée, but at the same time she felt so happy, Chuck always had that effect on her.
"So how did you come to suspect Chuck was the father?" he asked, "it's not like we haven't been together like that."
"Because you and I always used a condom," she explained. "That night Chuck didn't."
"About three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," she continued. "I knew there was about a 90% chance I was carrying Chuck's child inside me, but I couldn't bring myself to admit or accept it. But it was written in stone, and I knew for a certainty that Chuck was the father after I had a paternity test done, saying it was Chuck's."
"What were you thinking Blair?" Anger was burning through his veins. "You had sex with Chuck without a condom," he seethed, "And to top it all off, you lied to both me and him about the paternity," he went on, voice raised, "You expected me to raise his bastard? Why? Why did you think I would want that?"
"I had hoped that you would love the child as our own, as much as you loved me," she said with hope in her eyes.
"And why would you think that Blair?" Even he was surprised by the sharp edge in his own voice. "Why would I want to raise a bastard of Chuck Bass's?" Then, in that moment, a realization hit Louis. "Wait a minute, that night of the Constance party, when I finally found you, you were going to end things with me, and choose him, weren't you?"
Louis words struck Blair's heart. They echoed in her head with the harshness in his words. 'Why would I want to raise a bastard of Chuck Bass?' kept painfully echoing in her head over and over and over again. The more she thought about it, she realized that she and Louis were over. She knew it was time to come clean, and she also knew it was time to tell Chuck he was going to be a father. Maybe he would be more understanding than Louis.
She had hoped Louis would love her baby as much as he claimed to love her, but she must have been kidding herself. If the roles were reversed and it was Louis's baby, she was sure Chuck would love her baby as much as he loved her.
She also let his question replay in her mind. Was she going to choose Chuck that night? She told herself that Chuck didn't love her anymore and that's why he let her go. But now she was finally admitting the truth to herself. Chuck didn't let her go because he didn't love her anymore; it was because he loved her more than anyone ever had in her life, and more than Louis ever could.
He let her go so that Louis could make her happy, because he didn't believe he ever could, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Chuck made her happier than she could ever imagine, Chuck made her the happiest she's ever been.
Chuck had hurt her in the past and would bring her into his darkness. That's what she hated. It didn't mean she hated Chuck; she could never truly hate him. It didn't mean Chuck wasn't capable of making her happy. She had a feeling that's why Chuck was going to therapy, to find peace with himself and what he had done. Because he loved her and needed to find a way to let her to, to give her the happy life he knew she deserved. What he should have realized was that they were happiest when with each other.
Both of them had been too stubborn to admit that.
She knew that Louis would never love her child, thus why she knew they were over. Now she had to figure out the next approach for her, Chuck and their child growing inside of her.
"Yes," she admitted. "Yes, I was, but he let me go, so I could be happy with you. Because he loves me, and wants me to be happy, even though it probably killed him to see us together. He chose to let me go to be happy with you," she bit out. "Why couldn't you see that? Why couldn't you just let go of the past? Instead you chose revenge, you chose revenge instead of me," she stated with a burning anger inside her voice. "You've changed, Louis."
"Blair…."
"No, Louis," she cut him off, "Tell me one thing before you leave for good: even if I had told you the truth from the beginning, would you still have loved the child, raised it as your own and loved it as much as you claim to love me?" she asked with earnest curiosity, but with an edge to her tone, because she was sure she already knew the answer. "Just answer that one question, then you can go."
"You want an answer, Blair, fine," he said, shooting daggers into her direction once more. "The answer in no, probably not. When I found the paternity test, I tried to picture myself raising the child, looking after him, but I couldn't. All I saw was Chuck's face in the bastard, and it kept haunting me over and over and over. I knew I would have tried, but eventually I would have grown to resent this child. I'm sorry, Blair, I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth."
"Thank you for being honest," she told him sweetly. "But I can't do this anymore, I can't be with someone who can't love my child. Goodbye, Louis," she said as she kissed him goodbye. She knew it was the last time they would be together. "I hope you find your princess one day; it's just not me," she told him as she left the party.
Tomorrow, she planned to tell Chuck that she was pregnant with his child, and try to figure out where to go from there. But for right now, she needed her beauty rest. She felt restless from the entire day, and just wanted to get a good night's sleep.
Today, one chapter ended, but tomorrow a new one would begin.
Would Chuck finally be ready to admit that he wanted to be with her, and for them to start over and start their family together. They'd always had plenty chances to get back together in the past, but the timing had always been wrong.
They'd always reunited at the wrong time, or missed an opportunity to reunite. Maybe this time everything would be perfect, and they would finally be together for good. She had never been surer of anything; she knew she wanted to start over with Chuck and wanted Chuck in her child's life.
She would find her answers tomorrow. She was both scared and excited to see how it would play out.
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Chuck bolted towards the exit of the of the Spectator party. He wanted to be anywhere but the party. Tonight didn't go quite as he had planned. He'd hoped to show Blair what Louis was capable of, and how he was interfering with his recovery. Instead Blair seemed more hurt than ever by Chuck's actions..He remembered the look of pure shock written all over her face over Chuck's revelation, and how she had stormed out of the party. He also knew Louis had followed her. Maybe they worked out their issues, he thought.
All he wanted was for Blair to be happy, even if it was with the Prince. While going through therapy he'd realized some things about himself, he'd mostly realized how much he had hurt Blair, and he hated himself for it. He wanted to be better than that, he wanted to be a better person. Truth was, he knew these things before he started going to therapy; it's why letting her go had been instrumental to him.
Therapy had made him realize he needed to change for himself, not because of anyone else or for anyone else. He had to do it for his own benefit, because if he didn't, he would end up despising himself even more.
But then Louis had to resort to petty revenge. Chuck still didn't fully grasp the motive behind it. Yes, he had a past with Blair, but he let her go and gave them his blessing. Whatever reasoning Louis had, it must have come after Chuck let Blair go. Unless Louis had found out about his tryst with Blair, but how?
Chuck had no intention of telling anyone about their stolen moments, because he felt something he never felt before: guilt. It's not that he felt guilty for loving Blair, but it was because he was interfering with Blair's chance at happiness. That's why he did what he had to.
He'd let her go, and hopefully that was the right choice.
However, his thoughts lately consisted solely of Blair and what they could have been. They uncontrollably plagued his mind. They had resurfaced when they shouldn't have, when she was engaged to another man. So he did what he thought was the best course of action: he bottled up his emotions and pushed those thoughts away, ignoring them.
Just as he was heading out of the party, Chuck caught the attention of Eliza Barnes. 'Oh, great,' Chuck thought acidly. He felt an uncontrollable rage towards the woman who had betrayed his confidence and trust wash through him.
"Well, if it isn't the great Dr. Eliza Barnes," Chuck bit out venomously.
"Charles," she began, trying to form an idea of what to say to Chuck. She completely understood why he felt the way he did. She had betrayed his trust, and if she were him, she wouldn't trust her either. "I know you have no reason to trust me after what I did, but I just want to let you know that I am shutting down my practice," she revealed, knowing after what she did, it was the right thing to do.
"Why?" he asked with as much venom as he could muster. "I know people say therapy is a waste of time, but you really did wonders with my trust issues."
"I know you have no reason to trust me ever again," she agreed. "But I just wanted to let you know that Louis wasn't paying me for information alone. Louis is so threatened by you that he wanted me to turn you into the monster you apparently used to be," she revealed, and explained Louis' plan to her ex-patient.
Chuck's heart sank at his therapist's words. Her words about Louis' plan against him made him wonder if Louis was right, if there even was hope for Chuck to change. With Eliza resigning from her position, who could possibly help him now that understood the circumstances as well as she did?
Because she may have been going behind his back with Louis to leak confidential information about him, but she also had betrayed Louis, which must mean something, he thought with a satisfied smirk.
It did show that she wasn't heartless, and that she had a conscience. It meant that she cared about what happened to Chuck, he realized with satisfaction. It meant that maybe there was hope for her as a therapist. She may have to shut down her practice, but it showed she had compassion for people, that she cared, despite their past, and that she chose to side with Chuck Bass. That counted for something, he knew.
He sighed deeply before responding sadly, "Maybe he's right." He never thought he would have dreamed of the day when he admitted that Louis Grimaldi was right, but maybe he was.
At the same time, what kind of information could she have revealed to Louis? Who else could she have done this to also? The thought sent his stomach churning. He knew that it was a good thing she was shutting down the practice.
"He doesn't have to be," Dr. Barnes pointed out to him, realizing that she had an opportunity to do something good for Chuck, to get him to realize that he could still become the person Blair needed. "When I saw you earlier, I was trying to enrage you, but you chose something different. You chose something better," she told him with pride in her voice. "You chose to let go. Continue down that path and I promise you will find peace."
"I always wondered what that felt like," he admitted gloomily. In Chuck's childhood and adolescence he never imagined finding peace, but he knew he wanted to achieve it. Maybe then he wouldn't despise himself as much, and would finally become a man worthy of being loved.
Eliza handed Chuck back something that she knew held sentimental value, the last piece of his relationship with Blair. Chuck took the velvet box from her hands, accepting that he would never truly be able to let it go. "I'm sorry, Chuck, I really did want to help," she admitted before walking away.
Chuck knew what he wanted, and what he had to do next. In order to make peace with himself, he needed to make things right with Blair.
Would he finally be able to let go of all of his misdeeds, and mistakes he had made? Could he manage to stop living under his father's shadow and make his legacy? But most importantly, would he find true happiness?
All these thoughts wormed their way into Chuck's conscious, but first he knew what he had to do, he had to make peace with the love of his life and he knew exactly how he was going to do that.
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Blair made her way towards her bedroom but was interrupted by Dorota.
"Excuse me, Miss Blair," her maid said, interrupting Blair's thought process. "Somebody here to apologize."
Blair's head buzzed with questions. Who could it be this late? At first she thought it could be Louis, but given how their last conversation ended, she didn't think it could be possible, given how they had both come to a mutual agreement about where they stood, and Louis seemed to accept it.
Unless something had changed his mind, but the more that she thought about it, the more it seemed unlikely. Louis was the type to stand by his choices, and never go back on his word. She didn't expect him to suddenly be able to accept the fact she was carrying Chuck's child and to love a bastard of Chuck Bass like it was his own.
The thought sent a cold chill down her spine. Deep down, she knew Louis would never fully accept her mistakes or love her the way Chuck did, or does, she corrected herself. Because she knew Chuck never stopped loving her, and never would. He just wanted her to be happy.
She had a feeling who had come to her door, but decided not to let herself believe it. She needed confirmation for herself. "I can't say I want to hear it," she declared, "But tell Louis I'll see him downstairs.
"It's not Louis," Dorota revealed.
Just as Blair expected, it was Chuck who was staring back at her, and she could have sworn from the look on his face, he seemed almost…pained.
"What are you doing here?" she asked with an edge to her voice. Truth is, she didn't expect him to show up tonight and to actually apologize. She didn't think she would have to tell him the truth until tomorrow, but Chuck always had a habit of surprising her. "I think you should leave. I can't really handle this right now."
It's not that she didn't want to hear an apology from Chuck. She did, but she wasn't in the mood for it right now. She felt restless, and just needed a good night's sleep. Blair was hoping that she could lay all her cards on the table tomorrow, because right now she felt exhausted from the day's events.
But just as she was about to throw Chuck out of her penthouse, something inside her changed her mind. She felt their baby kick, and her reservations went out the window.
She knew then she couldn't bear the thought of Chuck walking out on her again. The last time nearly broke her. She tried to move on with Louis, even with Chuck's child growing inside her, but she wouldn't do it again, she wouldn't let him walk out on them.
She then decided that she wanted to hear what he has to say. She had a feeling Chuck wasn't going to apologize for the night's events. It was beneath him to admit to that, despite the fact that he felt betrayed by his therapist and probably thought he only did what he had to do.
Still, he could have gone about it in a completely different way, she thought sourly. He didn't have to completely humiliate her fiancé and his therapist, but she decided that it was best to hear him out and get it over with now. Maybe if she still had the energy and if she could trust him again, she would tell him the truth about their baby.
"I'm not here to apologize about tonight," he pointed out.
'Of course not,' Blair thought, 'that would mean you actually were sorry.' Which she knew he wasn't. "Then what are you here to apologize for?" she asked instead.
"Everything else," he stated simply.
She wondered what "everything else" entailed. Would it be all of his misdeeds, or only the ones that benefited him? She gazed into Chuck's dark hazel eyes as they blazed into hers. "I'm sorry I lost my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you," he started and a sadness could be seen in his eyes.
"I'm sorry for not waiting longer on top of the Empire State Building," he continued, still gazing into her soft doe eyes. "I'm sorry for treating you like property," he said with sorrow and what sounded like guilt.
She realized when Chuck told her he was going to apologize for everything, he literary meant everything. This made her both happy and surprised. Chuck was never one to admit to his faults, but Chuck was always somehow different with her. Maybe he was capable of change after all. What she did know was that she believed the words that poured from Chuck's mouth, every single one of them.
"I'm sorry," he sighed deeply, "That I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did. But most of all, I'm sorry I gave up on us when you never did."
"I hope never giving up on people isn't my downfall," she admitted as much to herself as to him.
As the words came pouring out of Chuck's mouth, she could hear the sincerity in his voice. He meant every word, and wasn't just saying stuff to make her feel better, but because he genuinely meant them. Maybe therapy was really working for him after all.
She knew she could never give up on him.
She never intended to give up on the people she loved, which included Chuck. Even if they weren't currently together, she still loved him deeply and nothing could change that. Ever.
When Blair cared for somebody, she really cared for them, which was something she took pride in. She knew that she and Chuck could never go back to the way they were, but maybe they could become something better. Where they could learn to trust each other, and be the parents they never had growing up.
She knew she had to tell Chuck about their baby, and decided right now was the best time. Unfortunately, she didn't know how he would react. After all, she had told him the baby was Louis' when she knew all along Chuck was the father.
She just didn't know how to tell him the truth. She'd never thought that fatherhood was in his lifestyle, but she was beginning to see how wrong she was. Chuck was incredibly loyal to those he deemed his friends. Since his return, he had been working on himself, even adopting a dog, which showed that he could be a great father to their child.
"That's why you're going to make an amazing mother: you never give up on the people you love, even when they don't deserve it," he admitted dejectedly.
"You know that's never going to change," she pointed out, letting Chuck know she had no intention of ever giving up on him.
And she knew he would be a good father. Chuck never had an attentive father growing up, so she knew he'd try his hardest to not make the same mistake. He would be there for their child. They would both make sure that this child knows he or she is loved.
"It's okay if it has to." He turned to go.
"Chuck, wait," she said as she saw him starting to leave. "Before you go, there's something I have to tell you, and I'm not sure how you'll react, but it's time you know the truth."
This instantly grabbed Chuck's attention as he turned around to look at Blair, searching her eyes. "What is it, Blair? You know you can tell me anything," he said sincerely.
Blair feared that she would lose Chuck if she told him the truth. She let her fear of Chuck hurting her again get in the way of their happiness and her dream fairy tale. But she should have known her fairy tale ended in high school with Nate.
Chuck was her dream, and she let it out of her sight out of fear.
But no more.
It was time to face her fears, and get exactly what she truly wanted. No matter how much she worried how Chuck would react.
She felt guilt creep its way into her, and knew it was time to tell Chuck everything since that night. "Do you want to know why Louis was so determined to get revenge on you?" she asked, deciding it was time he knew the whole story.
"Blair, I know," he said, convinced that he knew the whole story. "Eliza told me. He is so threatened by me that he wanted to remind you why you chose him."
"Chuck, it's more than that," she said, her eyes blazing into his intensely, deciding it was time for her to be completely honest for once. "When I told you I was pregnant, I wasn't pregnant with Louis' baby, I was pregnant with your baby, but I was scared to tell you."
Chuck's head buzzed with confusion. His baby? It didn't make sense to him. "No, that's not possible. You told me that night it was Louis'," he said, believing that she had told the truth then.
"Chuck," she began, "I lied."
"How can you be so sure it's not Louis?" Blair saw the confusion in his eyes.
"I took a DNA test, which said it's yours. But really, that was for my own sanity. The truth is, I suspected it from the beginning. The timing just fit."
Chuck started pacing uncontrollably, trying to get his emotions in check. "I don't even know where to begin. Why did you lie to me about it? I may have wanted a role in my baby's life, but I would never have interfered with your relationship with Louis, Blair," he told her matter-of-factly. "The night I ended things with you, and every night after, I realized your happiness is more important to me than my own."
Blair felt pride for Chuck. She was beginning to see how selfless Chuck really could be, putting her own happiness before his own. She knew that Chuck had become the person she always knew he could be, but he still had a long way to go.
It wasn't going to be an easy road for him, she acknowledged, but she knew with the right therapy he would be on his way. And she knew he was capable of being the kind, loving father Bart never was.
Bart had been cruel and detached from Chuck, something she knew Chuck would be the complete opposite of. He would take an interest and show their child how much it was loved and he would put his family before his work.
"I know, Chuck," she said, trying to keep her composure. "I know. I was just afraid you didn't want me anymore, and that thought scared me more than anything," she articulated. "After I was with Louis and I found out you were the father, I feared I would lose Louis and the fairy tale. Then I would have nothing."
Chuck cupped Blair's face affectionately. "You would never have lost me. I just want you to be happy, however that is achieved. I just wish you would have been able to see that. I know we still have a long way to go, and I still don't think we can be together after everything I've done, but I want to be there for you in what way I can. And I want to be there for our child, if you'll let me."
Blair's nodded in understanding, knowing that Chuck wouldn't be ready for them so soon after the Louis situation. So she knew they had to figure things out on their own, at their own timing. But she hoped they would get there at some point. "Of course," she managed weakly, a bit of disappointment in her voice. "But, Chuck, if we're going to work together, I think we need to work through some of our issues too. So maybe it might be a good idea of we go to couple of sessions together."
Chuck smiled before answering. "Of course."
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It had been several weeks since Blair had revealed the truth about their baby to Chuck and she hadn't broached the subject in therapy at all. She thought Chuck needed some time before he was ready to give them another chance, but the wait was infuriating all the same.
They had been making great progress in therapy, really talking about his problems with his father, his mother and where their relationship had gone south. But Blair couldn't help but want more, she wanted to be with her family, and yes, that family included Chuck.
She was aware that Chuck might want some time after her breakup with Louis, but she needed to know where they stood, before she lost him for good. She paced impatiently in her foyer, before she came to a decision.
She was going to have a civil conversation with Chuck, and they were going to figure out where they stood today. She fumbled on the keypad of her cell phone before dialing Chuck's number.
"Hello, Blair," he answered in his usual husky tone, knowing exactly who it was.
"Hi, Chuck," she responded in a tranquil tone. "I was hoping you could come over so we can talk?"
She heard the silence over the phone, before she heard Chuck's alarmed voice. "Blair, are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked, concerned.
"I know you've been trying to keep your distance outside of therapy, but I think we need to talk," she told him. "I need to talk to you."
"I'll be right over," he finally relented.
Blair sat down to calm her nerves. She felt her blood begin to pulse at the thought of talking with Chuck. The thought made her nervous, Chuck was the only one that could make her feel that way. He was the only who made her blood pulse, her heart race and gave her that fluttering feeling in her stomach. Even to this day, those butterflies never died.
But did Chuck feel the same anymore?
Her conversation with Serena buzzed in her head as she recalled their conversation. Serena had suggested she talk with Chuck, and try to fix things with him after she told Serena what went down with Chuck and Louis. She recalled Serena's exact words.
"I know things with Chuck seem messy and uncertain, but don't enter a false life just because you're afraid to face the real one. Talk to him, B, before you lose him for good."
The words replayed over and over in her head. She knew how right Serena was. She had been running away from what she truly desired: Chuck.
Louis had been simple and easy, but not what her heart desired, or who she loved. She tried to tell herself that she could love Louis in time, but it hadn't been enough. He wasn't Chuck. And the memory of them continued to haunt her.
She needed to tell Chuck how she felt. If he didn't want her anymore, then at least she would get the closure she needed, and hopefully they would figure something out for a custody arrangement.
Just as her mind began to flood with thoughts of Chuck, she heard the elevator doors ding and Chuck stepped out of them with ease.
"Hello, Blair," he greeted her.
"Hi, Chuck," she smiled back. "Please, take a seat."
"Of course," he said as he took a seat across from her. "What was so urgent you needed my presence?"
"I thought we needed to talk about us," she elaborated. "What are we, Chuck? It's been weeks, and I still have no idea what we are."
"Blair," he tried, but was cut off by Blair.
"What are we, Chuck?" she repeated"I'd like to think we're on our way to becoming friends at the very least," he said, making Blair's heart stop with disappointment.
Friends?
"Chuck, since when have we really been friends?" she asked, a pained look on her features.
"Blair," he tried again, but it only got him a death glare. "Okay, so maybe we've never been friends," he admitted. "But we can always try, right?"
'Easier said than done,' Blair thought disdainfully. Things were way too complicated to just be friends, did they really stand a chance to keep their relationship platonic?
"Do you still love me?" She didn't know why she asked, but she needed to know.
"I can't imagine the day I won't love you, Blair," he admitted. She looked into his piercing eyes. But his eyes almost looked…pained, as if he the words hurt him to speak. As if he were saying that he would always love her, but couldn't be with her.
"But?" she prompted.
"But," he began, "I think you deserve to be happy, and I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to be with me because of our baby," His eyes tore into hers with tension. "I want you to be happy, however that is achieved. Even if that means we can't be together."
"Chuck," she tried to form the words, but she felt a lump in her throat. "Have you ever thought that maybe if you tried you could make me happy?" she asked.
"But I have tried, Blair," he pointed out. "And I've failed, and I've hurt you in ways that I don't think we can ever get past," he admitted.
"We can," she told him. "Chuck, you've been making great progress in therapy, I've been there for a couple," She brought her hands to his, clasping them together. "I believe in you. As long as we work together, and you continue to make the progress you've been making in therapy, I know we'll be fine."
"How can you be so sure?" he asked, not entirely convinced.
"Because I believe in you," she told him again with conviction. "I believe in us. You've made me the happiest I've ever been," she revealed.
"You're sure this is what you want?" he asked.
"I've never been more sure of anything," she said with just as much conviction.
He then kissed her passionately.
Blair's heart began to race at a million miles a minute. She felt those butterflies emerge in her stomach as Chuck's lips brushed against hers. As his tongue stroked hers, she broke away from him for a minute.
"Chuck, we're going to be okay," she said as she returned to kissing him.
She knew with certainty that they would be okay. Chuck had let Blair go to be with Louis, thinking he was making the right choice. Blair had been with Louis, even knowing she was pregnant with Chuck's baby, thinking it was the right choice. Louis had conspired against Chuck so that she and Louis would stay together, thinking it was the right choice.
But what they didn't realize was the right choice was Blair and Chuck together, with their family.
The right choice was Chuck and Blair.
Chuck's tongue continued to thrust with Blair's, their mouths melding together as perfectly as Chuck remembered.
He still had Blair's engagement ring. He had planned on returning it, but after Blair had told him about the baby, he just couldn't do it. He held on to it, as a sign of hope for them and their love.
One day, when it was the right time, he would ask Blair to marry him.
One day Blair would be his wife.
Blair and Chuck were always the right choice.
.
.
.
FIN
thoughts?