Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. :D It belongs to Kubo Tite.

Announcement: I switched Chapters 1 and 2 because it made more sense for the timeline. :) Sorry for any confusion. I promise, Chapter 5 is coming. Thank you for your patience. You guys rock.

A/N: I haven't read the manga so I am basing this off the last episode of the anime. This was originally meant to be a one-shot, but you people keep asking for another chapter. :) It is very much appreciated. And I apologize in advance for any inaccuracies. As always, I thank you all for your reviews and support.

A/N II: I edited it a little bit for spelling and punctuation and added a few more things. As always, you guys rock.

A/N III: Thanks for correcting my Japanese, The Clawed Butterfly.

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Kuchiki Rukia is a lieutenant of the 13th Division, and the sister of the Kuchiki Clan head. As such, she is bound by a thousand tiny invisible ropes that she dare not snap.

To be a leader in her squad, she must command the respect of her subordinates and superiors.

To be a Kuchiki daughter, she must always be above reproach, both in the family and out.

To be a Shinigami, she must be a warrior, ready to die for the Seritei.

Sometimes Rukia forgets she is a woman too; one made of flesh and bone. And her thoughts tend to stray towards a certain direction.

She tells herself she is just concerned as a friend. And she feels responsible because she got Ichigo into this whole mess. That is all.

Rukia remembers the look in his eyes in the afternoon sun, when the last of his reiatsu drained out of him. He said goodbye, with an odd gleam, as if he wanted to say more. Then he could no longer see her, and turned away, as if she didn't exist anymore. It is only because Renji was with her that she holds her grief in. It is strange. Ichigo is the one who has lost his reiatsu, but Rukia feels a different kind of loss that she cannot understand.

But that night, in her own room in the Kuchiki Manor, Rukia cuddles into her Chappy The Bunny plushie. Even then, she is careful to keep her sobs quiet. Kuchikis do not cry.

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Flying under the radar into the world of the living is difficult, but not impossible. Rukia asks Rurichiyo Kasumioji for permission to borrow her family's senkaimon, explaining that it has been a month since Ichigo lost his powers, and she just wants to check on little blond girl nods, grave and aloof. She understands the position that Rukia is in, and wants to help her friends.

Rukia only means to visit once, to make sure that he has recovered, both physically and mentally. Moving quickly to avoid detection by Urahara and Yoruichi, she lands on the street outside the Kurosaki Clinic. Hastily, she masks her reiatsu, peeking inside the window.

Ichigo lies awake, staring at the ceiling. When Rukia sees him she is not prepared for the avalanche of emotions in her chest. He looks so young, bundled up in his pajamas, back in the life she ripped him from. He turns to look out the window, and for a brief moment, Rukia thinks he can see her. Panicking, she throws herself against the wall, out of sight. Then she shakes herself, realizing he cannot.

When she peeks in the window again, he is still staring through her to the night sky. Rukia watches him, until his whiskey coloured eyes drift shut, and his breathing evens out. Finally getting the courage to come inside, she sits by his bed and watches him sleep. The sky is lightening when Rukia heads out. As she stands on the windowsill, preparing to depart, he breathes her name out. She runs away without looking back.

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Her next visit happens three months later. Rukia has not been able to sleep well since that night that Ichigo called out for her in his sleep.

She is assigned to patrol duty by Ukitake, who notes that his lieutenant has been a lot less animated lately. Thankfully, Urahara is out of town, so there are no awkward questions. She avoids the school as well, because somewhere in her chest is a big mess of emotions that she is not ready to untangle.

As if it were fate, she runs into Inoue and Chad arguing about Ichigo on their way home. She ducks behind a tree as they pass, but trails behind to eavesdrop. Chad is frustrated that Ichigo is spending his time auctioning off his skills to the athletic teams instead of trying to revive his powers. Inoue points out that if Ichigo was doomed to failure, then maybe he is better off trying other things. Rukia follows them at a distance, unable to reveal herself, and then, as if drawn by magnets, her feet lead her to Ichigo's window.

He is studying for a book report, the set of his brows a testament to his concentration. Rukia sits beside him in silence, just absorbing his presence, trying to feel whole enough to make it through the next few months without him.

Finally she raises a hand to brush a lock of his hair behind his ear, half-hoping he feels it. He doesn't.

Instead, he opens his desk drawer right through her torso, feeling around for a pencil. She looks down ruefully, and then realizes the drawer is full of her notes and drawings. The distinctive Chappy drawings mark all the creased sheets in there.

When she still lived there, he kept this drawer closed, and it had never occurred to her to look inside. He takes one out, rubbing the sheet flat, and smiles to himself, touching the bunny drawing with the pad of his thumb. It is a note telling him she would be heading to Urahara's shop for some supplies. There are probably dozens of such notes, she estimates, and the drawer looks pretty full.

Ichigo smirks to himself. "Well, I hope she's learning to draw over there." Then very carefully he puts it back in the drawer. The tears surprise Rukia, and she struggles to hold them in. "Ichigo, you idiot."

When he sleeps, she kneels beside the bed, watching his face again. Then the night takes a toll on her, and she lays her head on the bed as she drifts off into sleep. It is the best night's sleep she has had in months.

When Rukia wakes, their fingertips are touching.

Ichigo murmurs her name again in his sleep, causing her to jump back like a frightened rabbit. He stretches and yawns. Rukia knows she must go now before Isshin or Karin see her. She takes one last look at Ichigo, and flees out the window. She lived with this boy for years; why now? But something inside her has changed.

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The following weeks have Rukia in a daze. She throws herself into her work, running drills with the squad, and writing reports that have the bureaucrats singing her praises. Rukia represents her captain at the meeting of the Captains. Admiring words are spoken about her conduct and bearing; she smiles brightly but does not hear any of it.

Nobody can tell how distracted she is; nor that her thoughts are faraway, centered around one ex-substitute shinigami.

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Her third visit happens soon after, an addiction that is slowly building.

Rukia finds Ichigo in the playground where he performed his first Konso on the little boy. He sits on the swings by himself, watching the families.

Rukia sits down on the swing next to him, her feet dangling. It is a windy day, and he has his collar turned up. Her swing starts to rock back and forth. She sits there contentedly, enjoying the warmth of the sun, and the sounds of children playing.

Ichigo stops and stares at her swing, a faraway look in his eye. She gazes back into the amber depths of his, wondering if she has ever had the opportunity to stare at him for so long. His eyes really are beautiful, she thinks.

Then a toddler stumbles in front of him, catching his attention. He picks up the wailing child and hands him back to the mother. Slipping his hands into his pockets, Ichigo walks home, whistling.

Rukia does not follow him. She is confused by how peaceful he seems to be. Does he not feel this gnawing emptiness without her? Is she the only one feeling this?

She sits on the swings till the sun sets.

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Byakuya is waiting for her when she returns home. He knows. But then again, there is little that he doesn't. Wordlessly, she stares at him, feeling all her emotions well up.

"Oni-sama...," Rukia bursts into tears, rushing into his pats her awkwardly, once or twice, then settles into a comforting hug.

"Let it out," he murmurs, holding her.

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She falls asleep while sobbing on his shoulder. She wakes up in her own bed with Chappy tucked in her arms.

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A big thank you to: LivingtheSPNLife, LoverofCoffee, Keira14, Chappiruki, BlackdiamondRukia, JoTerry, Lakierczek, Alex760, LuciaKuchiki and anonymous guest for your reviews and favs. That is the main reason why there is a chapter 2. And probably a 3. I have no idea yet.