Summary: It's Father's Day again, one year later. For Nell Jones it is the worst day of the year. She still is sure that she has nothing to celebrate, and the day again deepens her state of depression. But is there a change coming?
A/N For those last year wanting a sequel, here it is.
Disclaimer: The characters and sets of NCIS:LA are all owned by CBS, Donald P. Bellisario, and Shane Brennan. I only own a copy of the DVDs from season 1-5. I do get to play with everyone, but they all have to be home by curfew.
Worst Day of the Year – Part 2
Another year had gone by. Nell was another year older. She may or may not have been in a relationship with the Chief Agent in Charge of OSP. Only time and Hetty would tell about that.
Today was one of those days of dread. How could she really celebrate Father's day when she had no father to celebrate?
She had sorta reconnected with her first foster parents, Jeffrey and Sarah Wilson when their daughter traced her down on Facebook. But the couple of times that she contacted them by Skype or visited them in person, she felt like she was intruding on their family. That just brought up feeling of guilt in her. When she was in the presence of Jeffery and Sarah, she got the same feelings of unease emanating from them. She didn't know if it was guilt of abandoning her and Jessica that they were feeling, or if it was something else. Nell fully understood why they couldn't keep the two foster children after their own child was born.
And she couldn't celebrate anything with or about Brandon Rogers, her second foster father. She made certain of that when she had killed him. Nell still bore the marks of where the pedophile had sliced into her body, getting his own insane pleasure out of her pain. She would have gladly endured all of the torment he could have put her through. But he had plans to do the same thing with Jessica. And no matter what happened to her, Nell had sworn a vow to her dead mother that she would always protect her little sister.
That just left the sperm donor that she knew absolutely nothing about. How could she celebrate his life and what he did for her as a father? All the nuns at the orphanage could tell her was the tiny bit of history left on the note with her and her sister. Her mother had been a college student somewhere in New York. Nell had assumed that her father had been connected with the college too. That would explain her high IQ and love of learning. Of course, she knew the old adage about assumptions. But yet, with no concrete facts to prove her wrong, she could always dream up the ideal father that would satisfy all of her yearnings.
She had built all these pie in the sky fantasies for herself. Some of them, she even got close to believing. But then reality would always rear its ugly head, and she would be brought crashing back down to earth.
She was getting better – last year she had called Deeks and tried to talk to him about how he felt about trying to kill his father, but she couldn't do it. They had talked all around that topic but had never gotten to the point. Looking back at her part in the conversation, Nell realized that she just wasn't ready for the rest of the team to know about her childhood.
Nate told her not to worry about it, that when she was ready, she would feel comfortable enough to tell them. So far, she had only opened up to one person. But that was while they were on a case and thrown together under the most intimate of situations. It was nice, being able to unburden herself to Callen. It was nicer when he showed her how well he could excite her body and bring her to heights of sexual pleasure that she never even knew existed.
But Callen never breathed a word about it to any of the rest of the team. He felt that was her story to tell, not his. They had tried to reconnect and continue to develop their relationship with one another, but work and the pressures of real life kept interfering. Nell was beginning to wonder if it was going to go further, or if it was to end up in one of the bedrooms of the Hollywood Hotel. That type of venue was infamous in turning 'forever' relationships into 'one-night stands'.
She could hang out with Kirstin Chambers, the computer tech from team two at OSP, who filled in whenever she was needed to help the team. Nell really liked Kirstin. There was no one who could ever replace her biological sister, Jessica, or stop Nell in her constant search to find her. But, since the little redhead had come to Los Angeles, she had gotten close enough to Kirstin to consider her as a younger sister. But Kirstin was close to her father and probably had plans to celebrate the day with him.
Nell knew that Callen, Deeks, and Kensi all met for brunch and reminiscing about their fathers. Could she crash the party and show that she was a lifetime member along with the rest of them?
No. She didn't have the courage to do that. It would mean spilling her story to Kensi and Deeks, and today of all days, she couldn't deal with the pity she knew the two of them would feel for her. She didn't want pity. She just wanted to fill up her heart with love for someone she could touch, feel, experience. Besides, what kind of stories could she regale the rest with about her father. The best she could come up with was, 'My dad dumped a load of sperm into my mother and when he found out she was pregnant, he dumped her just as quickly.' That would be a depressing way to end all conversation.
Sam would be firing up the grill in his back yard. Although he could not be there in person, sometime during the day Aiden would put in a Skype call to him, wishing him a Happy Father's Day, and making his dad proud by listing all of the accomplishments he had achieved since he last talked to him. Kamran would show him something she made for him, and all of them would wait for Callen to show up to share the day with them. Sam had adopted him into his family and expected him to spend the holidays with them.
When Callen had finished the feast and fun at the Hanna's, he would get into his car and drive off to Henrietta Lange's beach home, to spend the rest of the evening with her. This was his routine ever since the first year that Nell met him. Since he had no living mother, and now that he found out his father was dead also, Hetty was the closest thing he had to a parent. Since she never had any biological children of her own, Callen was the closest thing she had to a son. So it was perfectly understandable that the two of them should be together on holidays like today.
The only member of the team who would really want to spend time with her today, and any and every day, if the truth were told, was Eric. He still had the biggest crush on her, and still lived in expectations that someday the two of them would be partners in life as they were up in Ops. She had tried so often to tell him that would never be possible, but it was always in a round about, gentle way. One of these days she was going to have to tell him point blank, and if it hurt their partnership, so be it. Especially if this fledgling relationship with Callen would begin to grow wings and take off.
But right now, she had no one. Her mother was dead. Her father was non-existent. Her sister was lost. Her team mates had their own lives. And Callen, she had absolutely no idea what Callen was to and for her right now.
Her poor head was beginning to ache with all these thoughts assailing her spirit. She was even too exhausted to call in her usual Father's Day request, one order of curried vegetable-rice soup, one order of General Tso chicken and two blackened chicken egg rolls, to the Asian Food Store nearby that still delivered. Instead, she decided to lay down until the feeling passed, and she might enjoy the taste of her food.
. . . . .
She woke up to her phone ringing the work ringtone. As she grabbed it, she saw that it was Callen calling her. Wondering if she was going to have to go in to the mission, she answered it, "Yeah, Callen. It's Nell, what do you need?" She yawned and struggled to pull herself completely from slumberland.
"I need to know if you are okay. I remembered what you told me when we were up in the Hollywood Hotel that you had no idea who your father was. I just wondered how you were dealing with those feelings on a day like today.'
"Well, I had no one to celebrate with, no place to go. I just stayed here and did what I do every Sunday when I'm not at work."
"And that is?" Callen asked.
"Takeout food and a long afternoon nap."
"I was wondering if you would like me to come over and spend some time with you."
"I know that you have your own regular schedule of activities to attend to on days like today. I wouldn't want you to have to vary your schedule because of me."
"Nell, I know that we haven't done anything together since that one night. It's not because I haven't wanted to. I know you are a little leary about letting the other team members know that we are trying to work things out. I'm sure Hetty already knows. I could have changed up things today and tell people that I can't meet with them because I have somewhere else I need to be. People would start to wonder and question where I was. Eventually, you know they would figure it out for themselves."
"Well, they should. They are supposed to be trained agents." she said.
"But I wanted you to be able to tell them when you were ready, not when they found out."
"Thank you for that."
"So, now that I have them going off in a different direction, would you like me to come over and spend some time with you?"
"Yes, Callen, I would love for you to come over and we can celebrate the fathers that we never have known."
"Good. I'll be there in about ten minutes." he said as he ended the call.
She looked at her watch and saw that the Asian Food Store was still open. She quickly called and placed her order. She doubled everything in her regular order knowing Callen also liked the curried vegetable-rice soup, General Tso chicken and blackened chicken egg rolls.
. . . . .
Perhaps what was once the worst day of the year for her would no longer be consigned to that category.