TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY
By: cultureandseptember
Summary:
An account of the media reactions to the reveal of Nations (anthropomorphic national embodiments) with scholarly commentary.
Heavily inspired by: United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015)
[fallingvoices, radialarch] with mixed genres.
CNN
DEVELOPING: White House press release makes known the existence of rumored anthro-Nations /go
Ally-oop FTW Jones
Hey, new followers. #rockon #amthenation /p/xkw9Ex-eDyZ/
FOX NEWS
BREAKING NEWS: REAL OR FAKE? NATIONAL EMBODIMENT CENTURIES OLD SCANDAL? link/2/1IYHkVO
RaymieRocks
Always knew it. #youarethenation #bethenation
A chicken
Bock? Let me guess, the embodiment of Britain likes tea? Bock. Bock. #teatime
Arthur Kirkland
AFJones you absolute tool
National Embodiment? A Secret History We Already Knew
By Scott Collins
WASHINGTON— It was 1766 when the first reference appeared.
The Thomas Jefferson Garden Book, kept in preservation by the Massachusetts Historical Society, has given historians a peek into the life of Jefferson at Monticello. Between the years of 1784-1789, there are no entries. However, in 1766 and again in 1790 there are single page entries and on those pages—a name. It is that name that has sparked both awe and outrage in the past eight hours.
That name is Alfred F. Jones.
This morning, the White House officially announced the existence of a single man who is the United States of America, personified. The revelation comes three weeks after the "accidental" release of documents alluding to the existence of "physical embodiment of world nations." The documents, which were erroneously released by the CIA as a supposed loose end of the Freedom of Information Act, make reference to a man named Alfred F. Jones and his nature as the physical embodiment of the United States.
"It's nothing new," says Dr. William Johnson, a historian at the University of Delaware who wrote the book Nations Among Us and has theorized on the existence of National beings for decades. "There have been references all throughout history—all the way back to Ancient Greece and Rome. The United States is young by comparison."
Some believe this to be some sort of elaborate hoax, but the evidence exists. Evidence suggests, as explored by various scholars in the field of embodiment histories, that the personification of the United States is physically no more than nineteen years of age, though he has lived since likely well before 1766. So, from this, a question arises: How many already knew of the Nations (as most popular media now refer to such beings) and why did no one listen before the White House announcement?
"It's all in the history if we just look close enough," Johnson claims. "Alfred F. Jones has been kept protected, but he hasn't been living like some hermit. This man has served in all branches of the military. He's been in every major war in our history. He very clearly lived with Thomas Jefferson at Monticello, and traveled with him to Washington. There are repeated references to the United States as if it is a human, a being, capable of great things. Those references were not to an idea, but to a man."
Many references throughout history, as many have said, confirm the existence of these beings. And up until this point, they have been kept fairly well-concealed by their respective governments. Legends exist that speak of the nations as "immortal gods," and even more unsettling "the breath and life of the people they represent." Why did no one listen? Well, Johnson argues that we already knew. Many continue to debate the National existence- a debate which will continue for quite some time as pundits are given fodder and the Nations are located by the media. However, there is a thought that rests heavily on all those who think about the subject hard enough:
If Alfred F. Jones has lived since the founding of the United States, he has bore witness to three hundred years of history. As a people, we must admit that our history has not always been good. Perhaps we have never met the man who embodies our country, but we know him. As Johnson mournfully made clear: "you have to wonder about the scars he carries." It is with this in mind that a thought is posed: Can we truly justify dragging a man out into a media circus when he has born witness to the best and worst of us? When he has a history that we already know?
Follow Scott Collins on Twitter at SCollinsBG
Perry Connel
Holy shit! I just met #AlfredFJones in the flesh. #hyperventilating
FOX NEWS
Was Alfred F. Jones a confederate or union soldier? The truth at 11pm est.
BenBen Smith
Am i the only one worried abt #AlfredFJones safety? He ok?
Ally-oop FTW Jones
BenBenBen Yo, dude. I'm alive and safe. No probs.
BenBen Smith
AFJones WTH are you really him? ?
Ally-oop FTW Jones
BenBenBen if by 'him' you mean Tom Cruise, then no dude. lol
Arthur Kirkland
Yes, I do like tea. No, I am not dating tomhiddleston. #getalife
Watching
40m Alfred F. Jones and the Presidential Dozen"
The twitter feed of Alfred F. Jones ( AFJones) shows a general disregard for national politics. Allegations thrown by both parties regarding Jones' endorsement for presidential candidates.
1h The Embodiment of the United Kingdom called to Buckingham Palace?
3h Questions arising over Jones relationship with other Nations
4h A former colonel claims Jones served in unit - forty years ago
To: Arthur
Are you safe?
From: Arthur
Of course I am.
Are you?
To: Arthur
Fortunately, my country is more...
subdued
From: Arthur
Not from what I recall.
To: Arthur
Your memory has been going, mon cher.
From: Mattieu
Next time I see him...
Ally-oop FTW Jones
You guys, I get that this is shocking and all, but please chill out. #realpersonhere
Get Real
AFJones #realpersonhere? No. you're some sort of freak but your not human #abomiNATION
Ally-oop FTW Jones
C'mon guys, Stephenathome can say he's America...and so can I.
NBC News
Chinese officials confirm that Nation embodiment is over 5,000 y.o. /FLwTxpD7
no one mourns the wicked
there are crowds outside of my apt looking for #AlfredFJones this is getting scary
no one mourns the wicked
no like they have guns and stuff im legit getting scared af right now
Ally-oop FTW Jones
nogooddeedz, get somewhere with no windows- call cops now
WritehereWritenow
SHIT. WHERE THE HELL ARE THE AUTHORITIES? were is the security #AlfredFJones
WritehereWritenow
they'ree tearing down his door STOP
NBC News
Authorities are on the scene but unable to control crowd; gunfire heard.
Perry Connel
If you hurt AFJones, I will personally end you...and so will a million others. #ProtectAFJ
CNN
BREAKING NEWS: Alfred F. Jones found, cornered by mob at Washington apartment /go
From: Old Man
Where are you?
Answer.
Alfred, answer.
Alfred, if you do not answer in the next five minutes, I will call the authorities.
From: Bro
You jerk. You didn't have to release the docs.
Al?
Pick up the phone.
Where are you.
Author's Section:
Well I don't think the formatting transferred very well from ao3, but I know several of my followers have requested that I start archiving on this site. I'll see what I can do to mimic the formatting at a later date.
I hope everyone enjoys this journey through the modern social media reaction to the existence of Nations!