Such a fun prompt! I had so many follow up questions that I could not ask… How AU would you like it? Do you want fertility clinic scenario or something else? Do you mind this being in three installments b/c this is to much fun for just one. I conferred with the council of Shamy's and I hope you enjoy.

Part One: Immaculate Conception

Sheldon sits in the office of the fertility clinic clutching his messenger bag on his lap. The atmosphere of the place reminds him of the sperm bank he and Leonard had visited three years previously. Only this time he was confident in making his deposit, this donation would not go to some faceless woman. This donation would surely result in the creation of intellectually superior progeny , for his seed would be paired with the ovum of Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. Amy had accompanied him today as moral support. The implantation would not take place until next week when she was at her most fertile.

"Sheldon I am so glad you have agreed to take this journey with me. A child culled from our healthy gene pool is sure to be destined for greatness." She tells him.

"If I am to have progeny I would like to give them an ample at chance at my kind of success. I can not help but thing the best chance for intellectually superior offspring is to have you as the mother. You know three years ago I almost donated my sperm to a sperm bank, but I could stand the thought of some child of mine out there, graduating from MIT with some sort of tinkering degree."

"With our academic success there is no telling what heights our children could reach." Amy tells him excited. " Plus, with me as the mother you will have unlimited access to their lives." Sheldon looks over at her and smiles faintly, he noted her use of the plural 'children' and ' their lives' unless she planned on having twins she would have to get used to the singular. This in his mind was a one time venture.

"Dr. Cooper, it is time for you to go back now." The nurse calls as she pushes the door open with her hip. Sheldon rises and swings his bag around his shoulder.

"Good luck Sheldon." Amy tells him, it seems an odd sentiment to him for what he is about to do but he shakes his head at her as he disappears behind the door.

"Now, Dr. Cooper, here is your cup." The nurse tells him handing him a plastic cup with Cooper sharpied on it they walk into a hallway lined with doors. " Come inside the room, and make yourself comfortable, there are videos and magazines to help if you should need it."

"Oh no, I don't think that will be necessary." Sheldon tells her wrinkling up his nose, just the thought of looking at one of those magazines is terrifying to him.

"Very well, just however you feel comfortable and when you have filled your cup put it in the metal window inside and someone will collect it."

"I don't think the cups are made to be filled. More likely the size is for aim…"

"My apologies, when you have made your deposit, of whatever size into the cup put it in the window. When you are done you may exit the way you came in."

"Alright." He says opening up the door and waling into the darkened room. He starts to sit on one of the chairs provided and then thinks better of it. "No telling what types of fluids have been on this chair" he mumbles walking over to the magazine rack and starting to flip through when he realized they too are sure to be covered in bodily fluids."I knew I should have brought my portable black light, though this place would light up like a christmas tree."

Not wanting to sit he leans agains the wall and takes a deep breath. He has agreed to do this and he is going to follow through with it. He starts by touching himself through his pants and he finds that nothing is happening. So he tries to think of things that excite him, quantum physics, trains, the rush of feeling at solving an equation after working on it for a long time. The thoughts arouse him but as he tries to work on himself he finds it going back down. He starts the cycle over again but every time he tries to manually relieve himself he finds he can't.

"Amy is going to be so disappointed." He says thinking of his friend with her emerald eyes and dark hair that falls in a shiny sheet. He feels himself begin to stir again and tries once more, this time allowing himself to think of her. The way she laughs, the electric jolt he had felt the day she wiped the jelly from his cheek. Just as he feels himself getting close, and that is mission is almost completed there is knock on the door and he is back to square one.

"Occupied!" he says.

"It is me ,Sheldon." He hears Amy say.

"I am kind of busy, in here."he says.

"Let me in, I think I can help you." She tells him and he goes to open the door for her. "You are having trouble copulating correct?"

"Yes." he admits. "The act is a bit out out of my comfort zone."

"I will help you, it will go by much quicker this way." She tells him in her clipped professional tones.

"Amy I am not comfortable with that either." He says backing away from her.

"In the lab when I have to get a semen sample from one of my test subjects I often have to do it manually. I suspect that this will be no different than that." He thinks about it for a minute and decides to let her try. There will be no emotion behind it, no pretense it is purely clinical a means to an end.

"Alright, what do you propose we do." Sheldon relents.

"I can do it one of two ways, I can stimulate your prostate gland…"

"No… No… Not that!" He squeaks.

"Fine, the other way then." She says businesslike. "Sit down in the chair."

"I'd rather not… That chair is bound to be covered in god knows how many fluids." Amy takes off her jacket and spreads it over the chair and raises her eyebrow at him.

"Better?"

"Better." He says sitting down on her jacket.

"Now, relax and close your eyes, take deep breaths and, let your mind go." She says her voice husky and soft.

"Easier said then done." he scoffs but he closes his eyes and inhales and exhales loudly for her benefit.

"I am going to unzip your pants." She tells him and he flinches as he hears the sound of it being unzipped. "This might feel a bit odd." She says as she takes him into her hand and starts to manually stimulate him. The sensation is odd, but also intensely pleasurable, and he starts to feel embarrassed as he grows more excited under her care. As if reading his mind she says. "No need to be embarrassed, this is a normal bodily function and as a biologist I am comfortable with all of them.

"I would like to think that you think differently of me than of your masturbating monkeys in your lab." He says his eyes still tightly shut.

"Yes you are far better than a monkey, perhaps if you feel uncomfortable with me doing this I can describe my actions so that you can duplicate them later?" Sheldon wants to tell her that he is familiar with the action. It was the strained circumstances and unfamiliar location that had held him back. Yet as her husky voice starts describing how she is manipulating him he loses all will to correct her.

"Amy, do you have the cup?" He asks and she places it in his hand. "Please leave the room now." He says through clenched teeth and she leaves shutting the door behind her. The specimen finally procured he places it in the indicated window. When he exits the room Amy is still standing by the door.

"Everything come out alright?" She asks him.

"Pun intended?" He asks and she looks at him oddly before shrugging her shoulders.

"Happy accident." She says smiling.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next week Amy comes over to dinner with the rest of the gang, on the day she was inseminated with Sheldon's seed. They have spoken nearly every day but have not on e mentioned the what transpired in the clinic. It is almost like it never happened and Sheldon tries not to think of it. Yet sometimes late at night the memory of her soft hands and husky voice come back to haunt him. Sheldon asked her if she would like him to accompany her to the clinic for moral support but she declined his offer.

"So Amy, anything new with you?" Penny asks her.

"Yes, actually this morning I was inseminated with Sheldon's sperm and with any luck I am now carrying his progeny." She says casually. Penny spits out her water. And Howard starts gagging on his food.

"I am sorry what?" Leonard asks confused he had heard Sheldon mention it in passing but he did not know that he was going through with it.

"Last week Sheldon made a deposit and this morning I was implanted with his seed. I don't really understand the confusion." Amy says tilting her head.

"You really think Sheldon is the best choice to be the father of your children?" Bernadette asks her confused. "Out of all the potential donors out there? You know you can go to a bank pick out whoever you like, its like fast food menu."

"Excuse me, I don't understand why you are all so shocked. I made my intentions with Amy clear, also why so you think I would make such a poor father. "

"Sheldon, you really think you could take care of a baby? Give bottles, change diapers, be barfed on?" Penny asks him.

"I think Sheldon would make an excellent father. He would be like Atticus Finch, cooly aloof but always dispensing wisdom not to mention tall and handsome." Amy says looking over at him and he looks back at her and smiles. That sounds an accurate description as any of what he expects himself to be like as a father. Also it is the first time any one has described him as being handsome. "I would take care of the day to day aspects, do all the dirty work so to speak. Sheldon would merely be a figurehead in the child's life."

"So you are going to have a baby with him and he does not have to do anything with the child?" Leonard asks. "Are you going to ask him for financial support? I mean babies are expensive." Leonard asks her and Sheldon looks over at him shocked.

"Of course, I will help provide whatever the child needs… I am not some slacker baby daddy!" He says angrily and Raj whispers into Howard's ear making him laugh.

"Raj says that technically you are a baby daddy now."

"Maybe." Amy says "It will still be a couple weeks before the pregnancy hormone in my body can be detected so we will not find out until then.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sheldon answers the knocking on his door he was not expecting anyone tonight. Honestly he was looking forward to having the apartment to himself while Leonard and the guys were out at a movie. When he opens the door he sees Amy standing at the threshold an eager smile on her face clutching a plastic bag.

"Good evening Dr. fowler." He tells her. "This is a surprise, I was not expecting you this evening."

"I know, perhaps I should have called first. I was at the store and looking at pregnancy tests and I realized that today would be the day we could tell. I thought you might want to be there when I take the test." Amy tells him.

"Yes of course come inside." He says stepping aside and ushering her in. "Would you like to make yourself comfortable or would you like to use the facilities? Or do you even have to go? Do you need a beverage beforehand? We have tea, and juice, and…" Sheldon rambles unsure if the social protocols of such a situation.

"I have to go, I am too excited!" She says in an uncharacteristically giddy voice as she rushes to the bathroom. After a minute she calls him inside the bathroom.

"Do you really want me in there?" He asks through the door, uncomfortable with there being more than one occupant in the bathroom at a time.

"Do you want my pee soaked stick out there?" She calls and he opens the door and come inside crossing his arms across his chest.

"What is the conclusion?" He asks.

"Don't know yet, it will take a minute, I just wanted you in here when it changes." She tells him and they both stare at the test resting on the counter on several sheets of toilet paper. After a few moments a faint pink image begins to emerge in the window. After a minute or so the faint pink become a bright pink plus sign. Sheldon's mouth goes dry, plus means positive he is going to be a father.

"That means we are pregnant right?" He asks nervously.

"Congratulations Sheldon you are going to be a daddy!" Amy says excited throwing her arms around his neck and embracing him tightly. Suddenly it all becomes to much, two people in the bathroom, the pink positive sign, Amy's arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry, I've got to go…" He says breaking free of her arms and rushing from the bathroom taking his messenger bag and keys and fleeing the apartment. Amy steps out of the bathroom and sees that he has vanished. Her heart sinks and she feels confused, this was a mutual decision, they had been trying to get pregnant.

"I guess Penny was right." She says sadly as she leaves the apartment.