"What're you looking at, bastard," Edward huffed as he leaned back against the hospital bed's headboard and stared down the visitor he least wanted to see.

"A problem child," Roy Mustang replied dryly as he leaned forward and braced his elbows against his knees, weaving his fingers together as he continued to eye the young boy wearily. "You do realize this makes the second time you were admitted to the hospital this month, right?"

Edward shrugged his automail shoulder up and down, taking care not to move the left one, which was doing little to support the left arm he had in a sling. "Yeah, so what's it to you? It's all included in my stipend anyways, so I can visit as often as I want to."

The Colonel sighed and shook his head, already over the prepubescent teen's seemingly never-ending angst phase. He thought he knew what to expect when the child signed up for the military. However, he was beginning to realize he had been sorely mistaken. "Up to a certain extent," he admitted quietly.

"What was that," Edward asked as he raised a brow, turning his head to look at the Colonel.

"I said," Roy repeated with a sigh, "That you get this health coverage up to a certain extent."

Narrowing his eyes, Edward grumbled, "Explain, Colonel Bastard."

Roy knew he shouldn't have uttered anything. He had allowed the boy's constantly swinging mood to get the better of him, causing him to say something he shouldn't have said.

"I'm waiting," Edward muttered impatiently. "I'd like to know before keel over right here from old age."

Roy resisted the urge to fire back with a snarky comment, but held back. Finally he sighed again and said, "If you pay the military hospital too many visits in a short span of time, your health funds will be cut."

"What?! They can't do that," Edward argued as he leaned forward and shot the Colonel a critical glare. "That's not fair! What about other-"

"What other patients, Fullmetal," Roy replied, cutting the youth off. "You're the one that's in here most frequently. You've been admitted eight times since you first joined six months ago."

"But they can't turn away a patient," Edward fought back, his anger about to boil over. "That's illegal."

"It is," Roy agreed, "They aren't ever going to turn you away. But," he continued, "They will make you pay."

Casting the Colonel a wary glance, Edward grumbled, "How much will they make me pay?"

"Well," Roy began again as he tried to find the right words, "A dislocated shoulder, laceration repair, and medications similar to what you were presented with would cost around…" He paused as he did the math in his head, "Around fifteen thousand cens."

Edward's jaw instantly dropped open as he processed the number in his head. After a few moments of wordlessness, he stammered, "You… You mean fifteen hundred, right?"

Roy shook his head wistfully. "Unfortunately not." Leaning back and raising his hand, he held up three fingers. "That's fifteen with three zeroes."

Finding himself at a loss for words again, Edward looked away and down at his lap, launching himself into a silent panic, his eyes flitting back and forth as his mind undoubtedly went into overdrive.

Unable to watch the young teen agonize over this issue, Roy reached out and clapped a hand down on Edward's automail shoulder, the sound pulling the boy back out of his mind. When Edward's golden eyes moved up to find Roy's, his heart dropped.

The youth was incredibly stressed, his eyes wide and his look desperate. Then his breathing began to quicken as the reality began to sink in.

This wasn't right. A child, a thirteen year old child, should not have to think about money this way, this severely. Moving his hand up to the junction between Edward's automail and flesh shoulder, Roy squeezed, signaling for the boy to stop.

"Hey, it's okay," he began.

"No it's not," Edward objected as another wave of panic tore through him. "How could I be so… so stupid? That money I just wasted could have gone to searching for the stone so I can get Al's body back. I can't," he yelped as he tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed, "I can't stay here anymore. Tell them I'm discharging myself. I won't have to pay anymore. I-"

Roy's grip on the youth's shoulder prevented him from going any further. "Edward," he snapped, trying to get the boy's attention back on him.

Hearing his name, he looked back up at Roy, the panic still evident in his eyes.

"Fullmetal," Roy said again, now that he got his attention. "It's okay, alright?"

"No it's not," Edward argued as he ducked away from Roy's hand. "I was careless and stupid! I just wasted fifteen-"

"No, you didn't," Roy interjected, stopping Edward once more. When the boy's eyebrows rose in confusion, he explained slowly, "You didn't. I was telling you what it could cost so that you'd know better next time. This time they've decided to make an exception, so you're off the hook."

"So, I'm not going to have to pay," Edward asked as his a sign of relief spread across his face.

"No," Roy said again as he shook his head. "I just wanted you to be aware of the situation and costs. Just be careful next time, okay?" When Edward nodded, he added, "We don't like seeing you end up here, Edward, so I mean it. Be safe."

"Okay," the young blond muttered as he leaned back and propped himself up against his pillows, his panicked spell having finally passed. Eyeing the Colonel again, he muttered, "I'm sorry and… I'll try to be more careful," as he nodded toward the sling that supported his left arm.

"It's alright," Roy replied back as he shook his head. "Just make sure you take care of yourself, because in the end that'll determine how and when you two will get your bodies back."

Edward nodded in understanding and was about to say something back when a nurse walked in and interrupted him, saying, "I'm sorry, Colonel, but visiting hours are over. It's time to let Edward rest."

Turning toward the nurse, Roy nodded and placed a hand on the back of his chair, grabbing his coat as he did so. Rising to his feet, he pulled the jacket off of his chair and draped it over his arm. Glancing toward Edward once more, he said authoritatively, "I expect you to take it easy, Fullmetal. You need to be rested up and ready to go in a few weeks. We're counting on you."

"Right," the youth replied, a look of determination spreading across his features.

Feeling his face soften upon seeing the Edward he knows, Roy raised a hand as a sign of farewell and replied, "Alright. I'll see you later." After the youth returned the gesture, he turned on his heels and brushed past the nurse and headed out into the hallway. As he made his way toward the hospital's entrance, he silently vowed that he would do whatever possible to make sure the boy never had to worry about something like that ever again.

"C'mon Al," Edward exclaimed as he raised his metal hand and balled it into a fist, "Let's blow this pop stand! We've got a train to catch."

"Right," the suit of armor replied excitedly as he raised his fist and bumped it against his brother's, no doubt ecstatic that his older sibling was feeling a lot better.

Turning to face Roy, Edward threw him a grin and a quick wave. "See ya later, Colonel Idiot," before turning on his heels and heading toward the hospital's exit, Alphonse clanking along behind him.

When he made sure they had disappeared outside the doors, Roy noted that he could still feel a small smile on his face. Rotating back to the receptionist's desk, he reached into his pocket and produced his wallet. Opening it, he pulled out a piece of paper and said, "Be sure to take it all from this account. I only want one transaction and no paper trail."

Looking down at the bank information in her hand, the woman's eyes widened before she nodded and began taking down his bank account's information.

While she worked, Roy couldn't help but look back over his shoulder and toward the door, his mind already going back to the boys, wondering and worrying about what trouble they could possibly get into next.

A/N: I know I said I was out of the country and all, but I had free time today and I reminded myself that I would do this at some point. I was able to type this out in about two hours or so as I anticipated the rain here in England! So lots of Parental!RoyEd in this chapter! Expect some Parental/Friendship!RizaAl next chapter, with the following being a bit of a group effort. I will be adding to this as I go and as I think of situations, so if there are any suggestions please let me know!

Also, be on the lookout for another (I know, I know; FaS and Gravity will have first priority, though) new series of Royai one-shots titled "Expect the Unexpected," with the synopsis: After discovering they are 'expecting,' Roy and Riza work together through the ups and downs of the most difficult, and yet most rewarding, nine months of their lives.