AN:

Oni: So it's been...a year and a half, maybe more. Almost two. I have not abandoned this fic. On the contrary, I actually managed to plan a vague sense of how I want this story to go and how it will end. I've still got quite a few chapters in store for this though.

Eridan: Wwe're here noww, though.

Oni: Yeah. I've mostly been writing for Come Together and a guest chapter or two for Master Potter of Kamar-Taj by Ryuko monogatari. Both are Avengers/Harry Potter crossovers though.

Eridan: But here you havve the newwest installment of DVVaMA, so wwe hope you enjoy.

Harry: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse and Andrew Hussie owns Homestuck.

Eridan: The languages are as followws -

"English"

"Alternian"

Oni: And ONWARDS to the story!

Alternia Interlude - Sollux

Sollux Captor was a lot of things. He was a hacker, a programmer, and a wicked Psionic. He could beat games within hours, though he preferred to take his time and enjoy the mechanics than rush through, and could program defenses to be, in his opinion, impenetrable. The one thing he wasn't too good at, however, was social interaction.

A buzzer went off in his headset, signaling that someone had just rang his door in the communal hive stem that he lived in. The mustard blooded troll sighed as he finished yet another level on his grubconsole, pausing and exiting the game. Red and blue eyes swiveled to the monitoring system he had hooked up around the place, which immediately widened in surprise as they took in the image in front of them. Sollux bolted out from his chair and wrenched open the door, revealing a bubbly Feferi Peixes.

"FF!" was Sollux's greeting, "What are you doiing here?"

Again, he wasn't the best at polite social interaction, but who could blame him? If wasn't everyday that the Heiress of the entire planet paid you a visit. AA didn't mind his lack of social grace, as that kind of thing really didn't matter on digs or ruin explorations. Then again, AA wasn't the one, as close as they were, that made his blood pusher triple in speed whenever he saw her. That was reserved for the troll standing patiently in front of him, probably awaiting for him to let her in.

"Can't a troll visit )(er friend once in a w)(ile?" came the happy rhetorical question, her smile making his blood pusher race a little.

"Uh, 2ure, whatever." he mumbled, stepping aside to let the seadwelling troll in.

Though, speaking of which, he hadn't seen the maroon blooded troll in a while. Normally he would be worried, but considering that this was AA he was talking about, there really was nothing to worry about. The girl could handle herself out in the wild better than he ever could. He preferred his Apiculture Networks, his headphones, and his computer over spelunking in a corpse-filled cave any day. AA's morbidly excitable attitude made it bearable, however.

Back to the present, Sollux watched as FF made herself comfortable on one of his spinning chairs, sitting atop it daintily. She looked so out of place inside his hive, but he couldn't quite say that to her lest it angered her. Angering the Heir to her Imperial Condescension was never a good move to make, after all.

"2o what briing2 you here, FF?" The psionic asked, getting to the point, "Ii2 ED 2tiill on that planet he'2 2tudyiing?"

He wasn't sure how to make of Ampora, as the violet blooded seadweller had only recently changed his overly hostile nature towards landdwellers and those of a lower blood caste than him. It definitely stemmed from him discovering the ancient transportalizer to another planet, and KK had said something about an alien landdweller coming out of it. Sollux could have found out more, but he really didn't care about what the guy was doing, as long as the Lusus hunting troll wasn't terrorizing his neighborhood. The guy had even paid for a remote defense system for his hive, which had allowed Sollux to buy the very game that he had been playing before FF arrived.

"Yep, still out t)(ere exploring t)(e new planet." she replied with a sigh, ")(e's sent over some pictures but )(e's sometimes away from Trollian for days. I know )(e's not doing it on porpoise... I guess I'm just starting to miss my Moirail..."

That was another thing that changed around the time of ED's sudden departure. For the longest time, the seadwelling troll tried to get into the heiress's flushed quadrant to no avail, and now he's dropped it altogether as if it never happened. Maybe Sollux had a chance with the fuchsia blooded troll after all. Making up his mind, he sat down on the chair next to hers and papped her face. Perhaps it would be best to make the most out of the situation he was presented.

FF smiled at him, her laughter bubbly like the sea.

Eridan blearily awoke to the comforting feel of sopor around him, with an underlying feeling of wrongness surrounding him. Five fingers (five? Since when did he have five fingers?) brushed against the back of his neck, and found no gills or fins. Going to the top of his head, he felt for his horns and came up with nothing. With a start he burst from the recupracoon, pushing down his panic as he tried to rationalize the situation.

It was only after a few seconds of nigh-hyperventilating that the memories of the day before came flooding back to him. Severus had made him a potion that would pass him for a human, which would last a week before he was to be given another dose. He had been sorted into the blue house called 'Ravenclaw', the house he was Lord of, the house that also contained his friend Luna.

With a slight groan he lifted himself out of the recupracoon, shaking off some of the sopor that stubbornly clung to his form. Violet eyes wandered to the window, which was dark. Sunrise had not yet begun, which meant that most of the inhabitants of the castle would still be asleep. It seemed that he was still not used to switching from a nocturnal sleeping schedule as of yet. Not that it mattered, he didn't sleep much anyway. After showering and and putting on his Hogwarts uniform (something that still stirred excitement from within him), Eridan decided that it would be best to explore the vicinity before the rest of the castle had a chance to wake. Padding down the halls with the silence of a natural predator, he set off to search for the silvery ram horns that he was almost certain he got a fleeting glimpse of at the Welcoming Feast.

Eridan's searching pointed him downwards, into the dungeons. The dark, damp area made him feel as if he were exploring an underground crypt back on Alternia, as stone walls of this pattern seemed to be universal to such places. A couple of portraits, who appeared to be blinking the sleep from their eyes, protested at the sight of a third year Ravenclaw wandering so close to Slytherin territory. The disguised troll ignored them as his eyes scoured the place for even a glimpse of a silvery ghost.

His thoughts turned to the supposed 'Grey Lady' that Robert Hilliard had mentioned. He wondered what sort of title that was supposed to be. All ghosts were silvery and translucent, and the troll had noted quite a few females in the mix. Technically, 'the Grey Lady' could refer to any one of the maiden ghosts lurking about the castle. So what made this one so special, and why was she the patron ghost of house Ravenclaw?

"Are you lost, little Raven?" came a feminine voice from the inside of the wall.

The troll stopped in his tracks and turned to the area that was now excreting amusement and curiosity. Out from the wall floated the ghost of a woman, a human woman to Eridan's disappointment, who had waist length hair and a proud expression that could rival a highblood's. What was the human phrase again? Speak of the devil?

"No, I am simply lookin for a friend. Havve you seen her?" he replied, looking up at where she was floating, "She's around my age, wwith ram horns."

A look of surprise crossed the Grey Lady's face.

"You know of the Demon Ghost of Hogwarts?" she asked with surprise and no little awe coloring her tone, "No student has ever asked about her before."

Demon Ghost? Judging by the reverence also excreted from the ghost at the mention of her title, Megido was a pretty important figure amongst the dead of Hogwarts. Talk to the ghosts, indeed.

"Do you knoww wwhere she is?" Eridan pressed, her words solidifying his suspicions.

"She comes and goes as she pleases, she who is kind and yet bends the dead to her every whim if she wanted to." the Grey Lady replied rather unhelpfully.

It seemed that her influence reached even here, to Earth. How fascinating. He would have to ask her about the extent of her ghost abilities when he found her. The Grey Lady had confirmed that she was here, at least.

"I'm not lookin for a riddle." the disguised troll ground out, "I'm lookin for this 'Demon Ghost' you speak of."

"Ask and y0u shall receive!" came a rather familiar voice from behind him.

Eridan spun around on his heel only to to find Megido's smiling, translucent face only inches from his own. It took almost all of his self restraint not to react to her strange shenanigans, and he schooled his expression into one of boredom.

Aradia Megido was the same as ever, albeit translucent. Wild black hair floated around her as if pushed by invisible waves, just reaching her long grey skirt, a contrast to her normal candy corn colored spiral ram horns, now a light silver. Maroon eyes gazed mischievously at him, the same color as the 'Aries' insignia on her black shirt. The sight of another troll made him feel a lot less homesick, and a smile rose to his face unbidden.

"Hello Ara. Looks like I'm not the only troll at Hogwwarts, huh?" was his wry greeting, his lips curled into his regular smirk.

"N0pe! Technically I was here first! But n0w I've g0t y0u t0 share the w0nders 0f Earth with! Isn't H0gwarts just s0 interesting?" came her reply.

"You…you two know each other?"

Megido's smile grew even wider, red lips stretching across her face as she turned to the confused form of the Grey Lady, who was noticeably creeped out by the ghost troll's reaction. Truth be told, even most trolls stayed clear of her excitement, as her smile usually came with some morbid news. Sweeps of friendship with the rustblood had made Eridan desensitized to her apparent creepiness, though the sudden return of it after everything that happened actually made him internally welcome it. Eridan, for one, was no stranger to the macabre side of things, and had gone on expeditions with her when Captor was busy playing his grubgames.

"0h yes!" came Megido's cheerful reply in perfect Earth English, surprising Eridan in her fluency, though there was a hint of what could only be her Alternian accent, "Eridan and I have been g00d friends f0r a really l0ng time!"

"Wwell I'm glad you saww it that wway." he remarked in Alternian, "Howw do you knoww English so wwell?"

"When y0u stay in a castle full 0f alien gh0sts f0r s0 l0ng, y0u're b0und t0 pick up s0mething!" was her excited reply.

"Wwell, it seems wwe havve some catching up to do." Eridan replied, switching back to human English before the Grey Lady could get too suspicious, sitting down cross legged on the cool stone floor, "I'm curious on wwhat you'vve found durin your explorations here, as wwell as howw you got here in the first place."

The Grey Lady seemed to take this as her cue to leave, floating through the opposite wall from the one she came through. Megido, on the other hand, floated down to sit next to him. It reminded Eridan of the time he had accompanied her to the Crypts of Sohdomus, spelunking through the musky stone halls and taking rest breaks after running from some archaic guardian beast.

"F0r a l0wly landdweller, y0u sure seem happy t0 see me!" was the first words out of her mouth, a teasing edge in her tone.

Of course, she was a troll as well. Obviously she would pick up on his emotions as well as he could, if not better. He wasn't always the most empathetic of trolls to begin with.

"You're the first troll I'vve seen since comin here." Eridan answered, knowing she would hear the words left unsaid, "Howw are you translucent?" he continued, launching into the first of his plethora of questions, "Howw did you find Hogwwarts in the first place? Does your control ovver ghosts really reach all the wway here?"

Megido's bleating laughter rang through the empty halls. Eridan could sense extreme amusement coming from her as she shook her head, black locks still floating about her wildly. She probably sensed his excitement and his need to know, judging by the fact that Megido smiled wider as she regarded him. With an excited gleam in her eye, Aradia Megido began to explain the nuances of astral projection to the violet seadweller, who hung onto her every word. The two of them exchanged their experiences and tales of Earth until the sun rose and the sound of voices alerted them that it was breakfast time.

"Care to join me in the Great Hall?" Eridan offered, picking himself up from the stone floor and turning to face the rust blood, and was met with bleating laughter.

"Why 0f c0urse, Mister Amp0ra!"

GALLONS OF GALLEONS!

Pocket money failing to keep pace with your outgoings?

Like to earn a little extra gold?

Contact Fred and George Weasley,

Gryffindor common room,

For simple, part-time, virtually painless jobs

(WE REGRET THAT ALL WORK IS UNDERTAKEN AT APPLICANT'S OWN RISK)

This was the sign pinned to the Gryffindor Common Room notice board, and for some reason it lifted Harry's spirits. The depressing feeling that had clung to him from the events of the night previous alleviated at the sight of the Twin's antics. His lips quirked up wryly as he scanned the sign again. So they were trying to hire guinea pigs for their inventions now? He supposed that meant that the two of them were putting the money he had given them to good use if they were already at the testing stage for some of their goods.

His mirth, however, was not shared with Hermione. Harry could practically feel the rage radiating off of her form, though he lacked the empathetical horns that Eridan had. When he turned around to look at her, he decided that for Hermione, it wasn't that difficult to tell when she was angry or not. Her brown hair was bushier than usual, and her face was screwed up into an indignant expression.

"They are at the limit!" she muttered grimly.

She reached out to tear down the sign only to be stopped by none other than Ron, who was reading the piece of parchment with mild interest.

"Huh, they work pretty fast." mumbled the red haired teen with curiosity, "I wonder when they put that up?"

"Ron!" Hermione practically screeched, "This is serious! Students could get hurt from this kind of thing! As prefects, we have the responsibility to put a stop to it!"

"Nothing in the rules say that they can't post something like this, Hermione." Ron pointed out, "But I'll talk to Fred and George about writing up contracts for every tester just in case something goes wrong."

"That's...very mature of you, Ron." Hermione mumbled in surprise, "Thank you."

"No problem." was a nonchalant reply, "Now can we please get out of here? I think my breakfast is calling my name!"

Chuckles rang out from around the room at Ron's proclamation, and soon the Golden Trio could be found making their way down the stairs of the Gryffindor Tower, headed for the Great Hall. Along the way they crossed paths with some fourth years Ravenclaws (they must be Luna's classmates, but Luna was not present with them, as usual), who huddled together like penguins at the sight of him.

"You'd think I'm a terrorist of something..." Harry muttered lowly so only his friends could hear, "Should I start throwing curses around?"

He was starting to think that he should pull the same thing as he did with his second year, and employ the twins to laud him around as the next Dark Lord for shits and giggles (as Eridan had said once). It would be funny to watch, and would at least diffuse the tension he felt coming from nearly everyone at the school.

Also it would probably make the pink clad toad constipated, which was a major plus.

"Well, to be honest, the Prophet can be convincing. Even Lavender believes it." Hermione replied morosely, snapping Harry from his musings.

"Can you blame them?" added Ron with a shrug, "The Prophet's been our news source for as long as we can remember. To think they'd lie would shatter the foundation that we've built our beliefs on."

"Sometimes I forget that..." mumbled Hermione, "I suppose it's different for people who've lived their entire lives in the Wizarding World. But it does make sense, don't you remember what Dumbledore said at the end-of-term feast last year?"

"Uuuuh..." Harry said, trying his hardest to remember, "Something about unity in dark times, I think."

"Close." Hermione replied with a quirk of her lips, "I was referring more to... Lord Noseless? Dumbledore had said 'His gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust-"

"Get to the point, Hermione." Ron grumbled, "Say it in words us ignorant plebeians can understand, please."

"The point," Hermione relinquished with a sigh, "is that this sort of thing is exactly what Dumbledore was talking about. You-Know-Who's only been back two months, the Ministry covering up his return, and we've started fighting among ourselves. The Sorting Hat's warning yesterday was the same. Stand together, be united, don't let this divide us."

"You mean, 'United we stand, divided we fall'?" asked Harry, "I hate to break it to you, but everyone else doesn't seem to be taking it to heart."

This last part was directed towards the Ravenclaws, who looked away in either fear or shame. Even so, the trio followed the Ravenclaws, making the group in front of them highly uncomfortable, into the Great Hall. In fact, the majority of the students present at the Great Hall appeared to be on guard as soon as the Trio had entered. Harry felt a little bad as his friends were damned by association. Just by being his friends had them pinned as bad eggs, which was ridiculous, they were not the one 'who lied' (and seriously, any title they could have done and they went with the 'Boy Who Lied'? Talk about tacky).

Harry's attention, however, had diverted from the topic at hand as soon as he entered. His eyes scanned the Head Table, noting the positions of the teachers. Professor Grubbly-Plank was chatting to Professor Sinistra, and Hagrid was once again conspicuous only by his absence. Then again, most of the professors were also missing, as it was too early in the morning for them to have arrived yet.

Looking upwards, he noted that the enchanted ceiling depicted a grey and gloomy morn, which was almost symbolic of the oncoming storm.

"Hey guys."

A voice nearby, which belonged to Neville, shook Harry out of his stupor. With the smiling Gryffindor was Ginny, who took her seat next to Hermione. Out of the corner of his eye Harry noticed Dean and Seamus sitting near the end of the table, the 'half and half' wizard seemingly in deep contemplation. Looking around, however, he noticed that the twins, Luna, and their resident murder happy alien were missing from the picture. Just as he was thinking of this, Luna wandered into the Great Hall as if summoned by his thoughts, making her way to the Gryffindor table and sitting next to Ginny with a faraway look and a flighty wave.

"Hi Neville, Ginny, Luna." greeted the Boy Who Lived, "Have you seen Eridan yet? He's usually an early riser."

This caused a few expressions of mild alarm amongst the members of the Legacy, which confused the few nosey students that were listening in. Ron, particularly, was glancing around the Great Hall wildly.

"He's not here yet?" the red haired boy asked, "You don't think he's gone off and already... you know... offed someone?" the last part was said in a whisper, but his voiced concern was shared by most of the group.

"Do mine ears deceive me?" came a sing song voice, which most definitely belonged to Fred, who sandwiched Harry in between him and George, "Is our resident extraterrestrial missing from the group?"

After a quick glance at the Ravenclaw table answered the question that yes, Eridan was indeed missing. A wave of apprehension ran down the backs of the Legacy like the chill of a dementor. Luna, however, was completely unperturbed.

"I saw him talking to a ghost in the Tower." she murmured in her usual tone of voice, "He was in such a deep discussion I thought it would have been rude to disrupt him, though his ghost friend did seem to be nice."

At this, Neville looked at Luna and mouthed 'ghost friend?', and the blond haired girl cast her faraway gaze toward the entrance of the Great Hall, where the ghosts were congregating and whispering excitedly to one another whilst staring at something in the hallway. This odd behavior was garnering some odd looks from both student and staff alike, many craning to see what the ghosts were so worked up about.

There, walking and talking animatedly about something (hopefully nothing murderous) was Eridan, and floating next to him was what could only be described as a translucent troll. If Harry knew any better he would have called her a ghost, but unlike the other ghosts, who were bowing almost reverently to the girl-troll, she was not silver (barring the spiral horns). Perhaps troll ghosts differed from human ghosts? Now that was an interesting thought.

"Hey Eridan!" The Boy Who Lived greeted, trying not to stare at the floating ghost troll that took a seat next to the violet blooded third year, "Who's your friend?"

This was apparently the right thing to say, because Eridan's grin grew wide. Harry could almost imagine the sharp teeth that truly lined his mouth, and those slitted violet eyes. The look on the ghost troll was more frightening, however, bordering on an excited insanity that he didn't think a human face could achieve, especially with those teeth.

"This is Aradia Megido." the troll in disguise answered simply, "A good friend a mine."

It wasn't a long shot to derive what friend meant. Harry had wondered if the little alien was getting homesick, but it seemed that now he had a fellow troll to collaborate (and possibly plot murder) with. Aradia, for her part, gave an excited wave, to which only Luna replied with equal enthusiasm. The rest of the Legacy returned smaller, more nervous waves.

Well, this was going to be interesting.

Thankfully, breakfast passed without too much incident. Angelina Johnson had marched up to him and the twins the tell them the news. She had been made Quidditch Captain and since Oliver Wood had gone on to greener pastures, they would need another Keeper. As for the rest of the team. They were required to show up for the tryouts, and Harry and the twins had saluted their new Captain in a mock military fashion. Rolling her eyes, Angelina marched off, but not without glancing at Eridan and Aradia, who were eyeing her curiously.

It seemed that the two trolls were going to stick together for the foreseen future (not that his Divination was any good, all Trelawney had taught him to do was pretend to predict disasters), and Harry wasn't sure what to think about it. On one hand, hopefully this provided enough of a distraction for the seadwelling troll, away from potentially killing any students or faculty with his overpowered alien rifle. One the other, that crazy look Aradia had on her face couldn't possibly bode well.

McGonagall had briefly stopped by the table to hand out schedules, greeting the students cordially before her eyebrows shot up at the new addition to the group. Again, the ghost troll greeted her with an excited smile and a wave. However, the professor was less perturbed. The woman had dealt with the Marauders, the creepily smiling alien was nothing compared to the madness they had wrought upon the school.

A quick glance at the schedule had Ron groaning, while Eridan looked at his schedule appraisingly.

"Look at today!" muttered Ron, "History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and double Defense Against the Dark Arts... that's Binns, Snape, Trelawney, and that Umbridge woman all in one day! Bloody hell!"

To be honest, as much as he didn't like Binns, Snape, and Trelawney, all three of them were devils that he knew. Binns was boring, yes, but he had learned through practice to ignore the droning voice of the History of Magic professor. The subject could be rehashed with a glance through the textbook, and Harry spent most of the classtime getting other homework done. With the Divinations professor, all he had to do was predict his horrible demise and he was set. And Snape? Snape was a hardass, but at least the hated Potions professor was on his side.

Umbridge was going to be the problem. His Potter danger sense tingled whenever she was around, and plus the fiasco at the Ministry certainly didn't win her any points in his book. Somehow she had gotten wind of Sirius coming back and instead of setting up a trial, she immediately sent for a score of dementors to off his godfather. Thankfully, the toad woman hadn't seen Eridan in his true form (bugger was fast, a simple violet blur in the Ministry) so hopefully she wouldn't antagonize the troll.

"I seem to havve Defense first." pointed out Eridan as if in reply to his thoughts (which wouldn't surprise him in the slightest), drowning his pancakes in syrup.

Well, that blew his hopes out the window. The troll would surely be goaded (since he's pretending to be the bastard son of Sirius) by the cardigan wearing toad at some point during the lesson. After the fiasco in the Ministry and the speech she gave at the Feast, Harry couldn't see the pompous witch being anything less than biased. If it were any other student, she would get away with it.

But this is an alien with murderous tendencies and the skills to back it up. As much as Harry was happy enough with getting rid of the oversized toad, he couldn't very well let the thirteen year old merchild kill as he pleased. This wasn't Alternia. They had different rules.

"Please try not to off anyone. Especially the teacher." Harry replied with a hint of exhaustion.

Most of the Gryffindors laughed at the comment. The members of the Legacy did not. Eridan, for his part, simply replied with a vicious grin that had no place on the face of a third year human (and seeing him as such disturbed Harry somewhat, not that he would admit that to himself).

"I will try." was the only reply, before he was off, trotting down into the hallway that led out into the classrooms, Aradia trailing behind him with a wide eyed grin on her face.

"This isn't going to go well, is it?" groaned Ron, who put his face in his hands.

The rest of the Legacy silently agreed.

It came to Eridan's attention that humans were incredibly nosey and social creatures, evident by the overtures of his housemates to launch into their life story as soon as they sat next to him in class. Half of the things they talked about didn't make sense (which was expected, he still had quite a bit to learn about this planet) and the other half was dreadfully mundane (if you didn't kill anyone, there wasn't much to talk about, was there?). Still, he did his best to be polite and attempted to at least pretend he was listening, which had worked up until the point that they had then asked Eridan about his life story. For the next five minutes, Eridan rehashed the bullshit story the Order had made for him, in monotone. Even so, his tone did not deter his housemates, who seemed to be more interested in him after he had told them he was Sirius's son.

Before anyone could question him more (and get blasted to smithereens), the oversized croakbeast arrived, perching herself behind the teacher's desk at the front of the room. The cardigan she was wearing did not flatter her in any way, and the pink coloring of the clothing made him want to cull her for desecration of the blood of the Empress. The only good thing about this woman is that the students had quietened at her arrival, giving Eridan a brief respite from his rapidly irritating classmates.

"Well, good morning!" she greeted once the whole class had settled down, in a cheap knockoff display of motherly affection.

The tone was there, but that wasn't the emotion she was excreting, the feeling like slime. The emotion he felt from her was contempt, with a hint of smugness and haughtiness. For the students, he could feel confusion, distrust, and offense at being treated like small wrigglers. Even an outsider like him could tell that this wasn't going to be a frolicking-in-the-fields kind of class, despite the false happy voice coming from the human in the front of the room. Some of the students greeted her back in a monotonous tone, their expressions curious but unamused by her unhidden condescension.

"Tut, tut," sounded Professor Umbridge, the falsely sweet smile still plastered upon her face, "That won't do, now, will it?"

Eridan narrowed his eyes in confusion. What was this woman playing at? A familiar feeling rose to the back of his mind as he listened to the croakbeast witch sneer at them with her eyes, the kind that relished in the feeling of Ahab's Crosshairs between his clawed fingers.

"I should like you, please, to reply 'Good morning, Professor Umbridge.'" the Professor continued with a smile that would melt the skin of a Shadowdropper, "One more time, please. Good morning, class!"

"Good morning, Professor Umbridge." the rest of the class replied in monotone.

Eridan clamped his mouth shut, instead directing a venomous glare towards Umbridge, refusing to bow, even metaphorically, to this woman. She turned to him, her simpering smile meeting his snarl. Ah, a flash of irritation, anger at being defied. Now this was a fitting emotion for the woman.

"Mr. Black," she began, her mouth stretching so wide that Eridan began to wonder if this was simply a real croakbeast disguised as a human, "I know that the idea of politeness may be difficult for you, but I expect you to show the utmost respect to your betters while in this school."

Oh, it is on.

"But of course." Eridan replied, baring his teeth to her, "I'll inform you wwhen I meet them."

The intake of breath from his fellow classmates was audible, even to a human's lowered hearing senses. Whether it was Eridan's comment or the classes reaction that triggered it, Umbridge's face briefly changed, showing the emotions she was projecting underneath before the disgustingly sweet smile returned.

"I can see that you've inherited your father's disregard for authority." the pink-clad croakbeast's pitch became slightly higher, and Eridan was sure that she was trying to keep herself from murdering him, "Detention with me next Saturday, Mr. Black, and I do hope you arrive on time."

Well, if she wanted to try and kill him, he wasn't going to complain. He was itching for a fight, and wondered if she could hold her own for at least a few seconds to make this interesting. Though, he could always draw it out himself...

In his mind's eye, Eridan pictured that he was in his true form. Blunt teeth felt sharp, slit eyes thinned in bloodthirst, his horns and fins provided a familiar weight. However, the potion kept it from manifesting in the physical world. But his smile was still vicious and dangerous, his rounded pupils shrank in retribution, and his posture contained enough information to convey the image of a predator ready to pounce.

"But of course." he sneered, echoing his previous statement.

Umbridge did not back down. Instead, her smile widened and Eridan felt... amusement. Anticipation. She had hatched some sort of plan and was now seeing it come to fruition. Narrowed violet eyes regarded the vile creature, rising up to whatever challenge she had set for him. All he needed to do was make sure he didn't physically try to kill her. Eridan was sure he could do it. The human had proved she was easily riled up, after all. It couldn't be that hard to 'behave' for an hour...could it?

"Good, good!" Umbridge simpered out with a clap of her hands, her beady eyes glittering maliciously, "Now we can start the lesson! Books out, wands away, please!"

What followed was what Harry would have probably called 'Ministry propaganda' as tittering witch outlined what was to be expected of the students and the general lesson plan of the year which focused more on the legality of certain spells and what the Ministry's job was in protecting the witches and wizards of the United Kingdom. If this was how humans protected themselves, it was no wonder why Eridan himself was considered violent, powerful, and horribly immoral. However, the emotions rolling off of his fellow classmates told a different story. Alarm, indignation, and anger flooded his senses, mingling with his own.

Soon books were placed in front of them and Eridan was treated to one of the most dull texts he'd ever had the misfortune to read (and coming from a troll with a library that rivaled Hogwarts' own, that was saying something). Groans from every student (including Eridan himself) were bit back, trying not to get in trouble (or in the violet blood's case, more trouble) with the pink-clad croakbeast. Silence enveloped the room, only permeated sporadically by the rustle of paper as a page was fiddled with or turned. The look of derision must have been clear on the small troll-in-disguise's face, as when Umbridge neared his seat she gave him a smug expression of triumph as she told the class in her simpering voice that it was time to answer some questions about the text. Her eyes tracked his movements as Eridan took out a quill, an inkpot, and a roll of parchment. A flick of her wand a second later and white chalk sentences littered the board in neat, loopy handwriting.

The silence alleviated somewhat with the sound of quill tips scratching against the rough parchment. With each passing second, Eridan's frustration grew. He had slogged though boring books before (military history had a tendency to be rather dry at times), but a question on why only the employees of the Ministry should be trusted to cast defensive spells grated heavily on his nerves. In a sense, it echoed what Harry and the other members of the Legacy told him about the way human adults viewed their younger kin.

A hand went up in the air, belonging to one of Eridan's fellow Ravenclaws. Her face was slightly pinched as she sat stiffly in her seat. Moments passed, and Umbridge made no move to acknowledge her presence, as if she didn't exist at all. Still, the third year Ravenclaw did not waver in her quest for answers, so her hand stayed in the air. Minutes ticked by and Eridan had noticed the croakbeast woman briefly cast her eyes to the girl, but then immediately looked away as if she never had.

"Do you make a habit of ignorin your students or somethin?" Eridan sneered out, breaking the silence.

As if on a spring, Umbridge's head snapped toward the violet blooded student, her eyes ablaze with indignation. Ah, how he loved riling people up. Bloodlust was beginning to cloud his judgement, perhaps, for him to relish in something so small, but right now he didn't care. If that's what it took for the pink clad woman to understand that they were not to be treated like tiny wrigglers, then it would be worth it. With almost a constipated expression, Umbridge made her way over to the Ravenclaw girl (who still had her hand up, she had quite a bit of stamina for a human of her age) as soundlessly as a human of her stature could.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" the human croakbeast asked in a sickly sweet tone, though her frustration was evident by a slight strain in her voice.

"Yes, Professor." the girl answered, putting her hand down, "I was wondering why the chapter doesn't say anything about students being allowed to use defensive spells, how are we going to practice them?"

Umbridge's smile, if anything, got even wider and faker than it already was as she asked the Ravenclaw a question in a tone that could only be called thinly veiled sneering.

"And your name is..."

"Carina Tucker, Professor." the girl replied, behaving as though unaffected by the woman.

"Well Miss Tucker," Umbridge began in a breathy voice, speaking to her as if she were addressing a hatchling, "I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"Wait, so we're not learning any magic?!" a Hufflepuff boy exclaimed distraughtly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class-" Umbridge began haughtily, but was cut off.

"Isn't that the whole point of this class?" added the Ravenclaw lad sitting next to him, spurred by the fact that others have spoken before him.

"Hand, please!" Umbridge almost shouted, her face rapidly turning the same shade as her cardigan when the mutterings around her turned into full blown cries of defiance from the rest of the third year students.

"Wwhat kind a Defense teacher doesn't teach defense?" Eridan smirked as he put in his own piece of mind, "Are you tryin to make us wweak? Complacent?"

"Ten points from Ravenclaw, Mr. Black!" Umbridge growled out, pointing a pudgy finger in Eridan's direction, before quickly composing herself and addressing the class in what was now thinly disguised rage, "You may think that you can do whatever you wish here because of the dismal tutelage of your past Professors, but no longer. The Ministry as appointed me to teach you defense, and such will happen. You will learn about spells in your book, and by knowing enough theory you should be able to cast them under carefully controlled examination conditions. This is not to be argued about. Now sit down, and read your chapters quietly."

The students did just that, and the room fell into silence once more after the screeching of chairs stopped. However, the third years hadn't returned to their books. Instead, they stared at the line figure that had not complied with Umbridge's orders. Eridan stood firm, palms planted on his desk, glaring defiantly at the woman.

"You may wwant us to be meek an useless." he growled out dangerously, fingers twitching, wanting to take Angel's Wrath from its place at the edge of the table and blast the tight smile off of her face, "But I refuse to boww to such incompetence."

The smile, if anything, loosened in strain as she stood in front of his desk. It was at that moment that Eridan realized that he had gotten cocky, played into her hands somehow.

"It thought you might say that, Mr. Black." Umbridge tittered out, "That is why I shall be taking this for the time being."

She raised her hand, Angel's Wrath gripped firmly in her fingers, a victorious smile on her face. Eridan's countenance twisted in anger, both at her for taking it and at himself for being distracted by her for long enough for her to snatch it.

"You will get it back at the end of the lesson." Umbridge simpered, "Now sit down, Mr. Black."

But Eridan wasn't having it.

Perhaps it was because they were in History of Magic, with only the sound of Binns' droning voice, the snores of a few students, and the scratching of quills idly doodling on parchment. Perhaps it was the relatively close proximity between the classrooms. Perhaps it was because Harry had been listening for some thing like this. Whatever the reason, the scream of pure rage and frustration echoed in the hallways, reaching even their classroom. Ron, who had been one of the few snoozing on his desk, was startled awake. Many confused students were already looking towards the door. The members of the Legacy that were present shared a worried look.

The voice that screamed was very familiar, after all.

"Brilliant." Ron mumbled lowly, "First class in and he's already snapped. Do you think we'll get a better replacement?"

Hermione sent a chastising glare at the redhead, but her expression conveyed that she agreed with his sentiment. Up until this point the only time they've heard the young alien scream was when he was about to blast something with that rifle (or wand) of his. However, the scream had not been accompanied by the high keening cry of the blindingly white beam, so Harry hoped that no one had actually died yet (though a part of him, awoken by Eridan's flippant view on life, wished that the small troll had killed Umbridge off).

"You'd think for a brilliant military tactician, he'd know not to get on her bad side." Neville muttered, packing up his things as the class was just about over anyway.

"Mate, he's still thirteen." Ron pointed out, "Tactics are all well and good until you're face to face with the most annoying thing on the planet. I barely hold my cool in front of Malfoy, never mind whatever Umbridge just did."

The chiming of the bell signaled the official end to the period and the students all trickled out of the classroom, Binns barely noticing his departure as he continued about some incident in the Third Goblin War. The ghost didn't even notice as he droned on, mumbling about how the wizards nearly lost due to a crippling oversight. You'd think by then that wizards would have had the brains not to mess with the small money loving buggers, but apparently not. Even worse, if goblins had dealings with Alternian trolls...

Harry was broken from his musings as the level of volume in the great stairwell rose considerably. As quickly as he could, the green eyed teen followed the Legacy up the stairs to see what the bloody hell was was going on. The commotion seemed to be getting louder the closer they got to the source, and soon they could see why.

Eridan Ampora, in his short, human guised glory, had Umbridge in a headlock. With the size of the troll in comparison to the Defense professor taken into account, the sight was downright hilarious. Apparently the third year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs thought as much, considering most were doubled over in laughter while other expressions ranged from worried to awe.

A sigh escaped Harry as the pounding of footsteps signaled the arrival of the Professors.

"Eridan, we talked about this!" came the exasperated groan from the Boy Who Lived.

He was rewarded with what could only be called a sneering pout.

"Wwell she started it!"

AN:

Oni: That's all I got for now, folks. I hope you enjoyed it.

Eridan: If you like the story, please Followw, Favvorite, And Revview.

Oni: And I'll see you next time (whenever that may be) My Pretties!