Chapter 1:

You know how you just absolutely love somebody to pieces, and it turns out they like someone else? Someone bigger and better than a minuscule existence like yours? Well, I'm sorry to say this, but it makes me want to kill myself a thousand times over. I can't even begin to explain how painful it is to be rejected by someone you held on a higher pedestal than yourself. This blows. Everything just blows.

XxXxXx

"Eren, can you please get out of there?" an irritated shrill voice called out, followed by irritating knocks on the bathroom stall door.

"No! Leave me the fuck alone!" I cried, pissed off at the way I was feeling, my annoying sister, and this whole shitty situation I'm in.

"You can't live in there forever, Eren. So help me, I'll-"

"You'll what?! Shut up Mikasa! You don't know what I'm going through…" I cut her off, only to be cut off myself by ungracefully barfing into the once clean, (or as clean as a club's toilet could be) porcelain bowl. How wasted was I? Unfortunately for everyone else in the bathroom with us, I just couldn't stop myself from releasing the entirety of my stomach's contents. After I flushed away the remains, I got the bright idea to finally give in, and allow myself to be taken care of. I'm such an asshole.

I opened the stall door and fell into Mikasa's open and knowing arms. My heart began to break once more in her comforting hold. Why me…

"Mikasa… why are people such ass hats?" I slurred, hugging the strong girl as hard as I could. I felt sobs trying to escape from me, and my typical 'pride' charade was clouded by the intoxicating beverages I had downed a mere hour ago.

"Eren…" she sighed, patting my back as we stood like two dumb asses in the middle of the bathroom. "That's just life and how it works. But it's not all bad, Eren. You'll find someone who loves you, just wait okay?" she said with a reassuring smile.

As we walked out of the club, my arm slung over the strong girl's shoulders, I thought genuinely on what she said. 'She probably meant it as a way to coax me into leaving. No one could love a douche bag like me. At least, that's what I believe. What a shit storm life is.'

Mikasa had gotten me all buckled in the car when I asked her the question that had been itching me for weeks, no, months now. This question alone drove me to get shit faced and whinny like a stupid teenager again.

"Why doesn't he love me M'kasa?"

XxXxXx

'Eren. Listen here you little shit, I don't know why you keep coming back to this music store, but I need you to back off. There's someone I like, and I can't hit on him with you here, man. No hard feelings, right?'

No hard feelings? Fuck you, Jean. You… you stupid horse faced son of a bitch. Why…

'Am I not good enough?' I asked, finding courage in my sudden fit of anger.

'What? Don't be stupid Eren.' He laughed, ruffling my hair like he always does. What the hell…

'Fine. See ya, Jean.' I rushed, running out the door of the establishment he worked at. I hate him. I hate this. I hate everything…

"Eren?" a small voice called, wavering slightly. My head pounded at that, drawing me out of my troubled sleep completely.

"Armin, what are you doing here?" I cried out, turning over in the sheets and covering my head with a pillow. I don't want to see anybody today. I just want to stay in my blanket chrysalis. Maybe I'll turn into a better person after a few weeks incubating in here.

"Dude, are you okay? You look like death warmed over." Armin cautiously said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Nah, I'm alright. What's up Armin?" The great thing about Armin is that he has such a calming presence; it's so easy to talk to him.

"Are you sure? You look pale. When was the last time you ate?" Armin asked, putting a hand to my forehead. Armin is also my second mother, behind Mikasa.

"Ummm… good question." I can't hardly remember the last time I ate something. Breakfast yesterday? Maybe lunch… As if to answer his question, my stomach growled like the beast that I am.

"Okay, get dressed. We are going to breakfast before school. Come on, I don't have all day." He jokingly pushed me out of the warm fortress, and off to breakfast we went.

When we walked in, we were seated and waited on by a boy with light freckles all over his face. He seemed like a really nice guy, which made me start thinking about him… I mean, I guess I understand that he only saw me as a friend, but when I try my hardest to flirt and love him, I get pushed away. Maybe drawing will help.

I'm a first year art student at Sina University of the Fine Arts, and Armin is my class mate in all of our drawing and painting classes. So, naturally I carry around a sketch book and pencils all the time. As I began sketching, Armin caught the hint that I didn't want to talk about anything, so he followed suit, pulling his own supplies out.

I of course, drew what, or who, was troubling me at the moment. The fringy hair he had unkempt at all times, his stupid dumb attractively long jaw line… God I hate this so much.

"Sorry to disturb you, but your server Marco, had an emergency to attend to. I'm now your server, and I'll have your meals out shortly." A kurt voice lulled me away from my sketch. As I looked up, I was met with gorgeous steely eyes that looked right through me.

"Sure, no problem." Armin smiled up at our waiter, noticing the handsome features as he dismissed him. His short undercut hairstyle was neatly trimmed, and despite his small height, he had an incredible body underneath his work uniform. Just looking at him made color spring to my cheeks.

"Thank you… Levi." I winked, as he began to turn away. Unbeknownst to me, I caught a smirk from the smaller man. Dear God, this man will be yet another downfall, I can feel it in my bones.

So, it is true that life blows. Everything blows. But what I thought the instant I saw this man was, 'Blow me.'