Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Avengers.

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Rhubarb Eton Mess

I need a vacation. Harry forced down a groan, typing away the discontent he was feeling this early morning. Being a clerk at a hotel does not guarantee an easy job. Sure they sit in front of their computers for ten hours a day answering phone calls and keeping track of records, but dealing with annoying clients and their outrageous complaints were certainly not easy at all. Like this blonde, pug-faced couple reminding Harry of his public enemy number two and his Slytherin princess. Now that he thought of it, they look like Draco and Pansy's love children hell-bent on staying pure that they decided to marry each other.

"Sir, if you want I can transfer you and madam to a new room." Harry said, trying to look polite despite his growing irritation. "That is, if that's fine with you."

"No! It's not fine!" The woman screeched. Screeched. This lady must have been banshee in her past life. "I want our bed far from any windows and away from sunlight! Tell your hotel maids to change the arrangement of our room, now or I'll tell your manager!"

Harry inwardly sighed. Picking up the phone nearby, he issued an order for the couple's room to be arranged in whatever plan they want so they could leave him alone. Harry could already hear Mr. Marion, his manager, drilling him the concept of 'Customers are always right' and how all employees must follow to their customers demands. But still, wouldn't it be simpler to move to another room than what she was demanding?

Unfortunately, Harry couldn't argue back lest he'll lose this job now that he had Teddy to take care of.

Speaking of his godson, now nephew, he hadn't seen the six year old this day. What is that little devil up to now?

His emerald eyes scanned the lobby for any kid with unusual hair colour. Teddy tend to dislike mundane features and now that he learned about his metamorphmagus ability, the child enjoys himself changing his hair colour at will. Harry still has to remind his nephew not to show it in public fearing that it will gain any wizard's attention.

It has been five years since he left the wizarding world without a note or a single goodbye.

Harry was carrying baby Teddy when he abandoned Grimmauld place under his friends' noses and watchful eyes. The pressure he received upon defeating the Dark Lord doubled especially with the new title the public come up with: Lord Potter-Black. It was pleasing to the ears, far better than the Boy-Who-Lived, but Harry was anything but pleased when witches from every soil earth had to offer were offering to carry his babies.

No. Harry had enough. The wizarding world was insane for depending on him, a child no less, in the first place and now they wanted future Potters as future saviours. If Harry was to be a parent, he wouldn't condemn his child to carry anyone's burden like he did when he stepped in Hogwarts. Besides, Harry already has Teddy. One little monster was enough for him.

"James!" Harry winced at the voice. His manager, while generous enough to let him and his charge to stay in the hotel in exchange for work, was obsessive in keeping everything in order. Fuse that attitude with a hot head and headstrong personality; you got yourself a paranoid, uptight boss. "I would not have you dreaming when you're awake! There are customers, go and help them!"

"What customers?" He scanned his eyes again for any confused people or anyone with troubles at all, but it looked like their bellboys were at it.

Mr. Marion narrowed his eyes at his remark and said, "Just do your job James! There's a lot of work for you and I don't like laziness." Jabbing a prong of his pointer and middle finger at him and to his, he whispered, "I'm watching you."

"I'm not lazy!" Harry said as he pretend to organize his desk, "London is! She keeps on asking me to do her job." That girl, where is she anyway! Ever since Harry started to work at Alpas Hotel under the name James Evans, London – spoiled brat – Tipton spent half of her time begging anyone she saw to take over her duties. She's filthy rich, just 'grounded' to work here because her dad found her work ethic sorely lacking.

Surprisingly, they were in good terms. London will do anything and everything to get out of work or chores and Harry took that for his advantage. Over the past years, Harry had been doing London's job as a cashier at the candy counter of the hotel, and in return, she had to buy Teddy's school supplies since his deal with Mr. Marion consisted only of a place to stay in exchange for a work without a pay. Well… He may be a Gryffindor but the hat wanted to put him in Slytherin for a reason. So he guessed that it'll be fine to be snake for once.

"I saw London going out. She's wearing her new pink dress and red purse and she told me to tell you she's going to shop." Teddy said, running from the stairs to greet them. His hair was lime green, awfully bright as it reflected the morning rays of sun. At least, it wasn't vomit green like from before.

Harry saw Marion's face tighten and reached for Teddy's lime locks, "What is this? James! You let your nephew dye his hair with this horrible color? It looks awful!"

Teddy glared at him which made Marion splutter, "Awfully beautiful."

"Anyway Mr. Marion, I'll be taking a short break. Have to accompany Teddy to school." Harry said, putting his computer to sleep. Because of his job, Harry had little time to take care of his nephew's education. He'd manage teaching him the basics but he knew Teddy needs more than that, especially if they were to live among muggles. So Harry decided to enrol Teddy to the nearest elementary school and have London buy him his school supplies. "Teddy, we have to change your hair. Your teachers wouldn't like it."

"But I like it James." Teddy pouted.

"Listen." Harry muttered, walking away from his desk, "I don't want bullies ganging up on you because of your hair. It might start an accidental magic. Remember when I told you we're hiding from wizards?" A faint 'yes' was heard and Harry continued, "The Ministry is tracking us and when they found out a metamorphmagus is here, they'd connect it with me and have the whole America searched."

Teddy frowned, "Is a meta–metamarpgus bad?"

"No!" Harry said, pausing in his walk as he faced Teddy. His nephew's face was furrowed in thought. "It's metamorphmagus. And being one is not bad Teddy, your mother was one too. The way I see it, it's a blessing in disguise. Literally."

"B–but you make it sound so bad." Teddy said softly. The child was eyeing his shoes in favour of escaping Harry's emerald gaze.

It tore Harry seeing his charge unhappy and doubtful, and knowing his words were the cause of it made him want to kick himself repeatedly. "Oh Teddy…" Harry started, crouching to level his gaze, "I'm sorry. That's not what I mean."

"I know it's just that," Teddy said hesitating for a second and shrugged, "I don't know."

"I'm sorry Teddy. It's the thought of anyone gaining an interest on your gift was making me paranoid. And I don't want wizards demanding our presence back in England because of our blood and fame." Harry sighed, taking hold of his nephew's chin as he stared at the child's eyes, "I know we have it hard here but back there was worse."

Straightening up, Harry ruffled Teddy's hair which was now brown, the same colour Remus had. "You just have to use your superpowers in private, Ted. Now come, you're going to be late for school."

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"–then Paola got angry because Mike was being mean to me, so she slap his ugly face! Slap! Like what women do! And then Sally was there to stop their fight because it looked like was gunna do something really, really, really…" This was their everyday routine. Whenever Harry fetched his nephew from school, the latter would chat away all the things that happened from the time he stepped on their room up till the last second of their schooling. At least, the child got to experience a good environment where he had friends, unlike Harry's childhood.

"Really what?" Harry asked. Seeing Teddy happy was the best he could gain from hiding, and in some ways, it paid off working from the hotel with an uptight boss and eccentric co-workers.

"…awful." Teddy said. Finally, they reached the hotel's entrance and they were met with a flood of people in the lobby. "Was there an event Mr. Marion forgot to tell us?"

Harry shook his head and led Teddy to the elevator, which was near the candy counter. He actually staggered in surprise when he saw London operating on cash registers. She looked…miserable and Harry would bet on his money that the thought of serving people made her unhappy. Serves her right.

"No event. Just tons of tourists." Harry said dismissingly, lightly pushing Teddy inside the lift, "I have to go to work. If you're hungry, go to the kitchens."

"James! Where have you been?! Customers are everywhere, do something!" Mr. Marion exclaimed over the seas of people. Harry failed to see his manager due to his short height – Harry was glad that there was someone shorter than him – but the wizard could feel he was about to receive huge amount of tension from the man.

Taking his abandoned seat at the reception desk, Harry Potter silently groaned in despair.

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Welcome! To my first ever fanfic, a crossover between Avengers and Harry Potter (and slight The Suite Life of Zack and Cody) featuring Marion as Mr. Moseby and London Tipton! Yay! I don't have a lot to say except for my grammar. English is hard people especially when it's not your first or second language. So I'm sorry for my mistakes.

If you have anything to comment, please review. It'll mean so much to me. If you don't have... thank you for reading!

Next chapter: Singin' Hinnies