"Marco, you son of a bitch!" came Star's voice as she chased me up the stairs. The huge shit-eating grin on her face spoke volumes. "I'll get you back for this, you perfect asshole!" she shouts at me through fits of laughter.

If you're confused about what's going on, I just kissed Star while she was brushing her hair. It caused her to pull hard on her hair and apparently it hurt her more than I intended, but she can't get that god damn smile off her face, I assume because I kissed her.

"You're not gonna catch me, Star!" I call out playfully to her. I throw open my door and run inside my room. I back up against the door and hold it closed, just to make sure she can't get in. She knocks right where my head is. "Ow!" I make the mistake of moving away from the door and she comes crashing in.

"Haha!" she laughs triumphantly. She looks toward me and her eyes flick to mine. Her pupils become hearts and a few purple hearts appear on her face. "Uh…Marco," she looks worried. "This is about to get really weird." She moves toward me and lunges at me, her lips graze my forehead.

"I thought your Mewberty was over!" I shout, remembering her horrific transformation to a purple, six-armed butterfly creature.

"You thought wrong, Nacho Boy!" she says, sex-crazed.

"I am very uncomfortable with this, Star! I am a fourteen year old boy, I should not have to deal with shit like this on a regular basis! It is VERY UNSAFE!" I say, playing up the name given to me at school. She jumps toward me and I dodge her, just in time. She crashes through the wall behind me and hits the lawn outside.

"Glitter Dragon Escalation!" she yells out. A rainbow coloured dragon crashes through the side of my room, destroying my computer. This has gone too far now. I guess I'll just have to please her. I can't do it like this, though. I'll have to hide until she calms down. I run into my closet and am immediately confronted by my secret blue hoodie. I blush ridiculously hard at the sight of my secret shame. I crouch under a pile of twelve hoodies of varying shades of red. "Marco…where are you?" my breathing increases in speed and I worry if she can hear me. She passes by with no problems.

"Shit!" there's a laser dog on top of my hoodie pile. "Alright, Marco Junior…" I whisper to him. I hear Star downstairs.

"Mrs. Diaz, have you seen Marco anywhere?" she seems normalized.

"No, honey, last I saw, he was with you," she replies. I hear Star's saddened footfalls coming up the stairs. She throws open the door and sighs. I can hear her flop on the bed. Now's my chance. I open the door a little. She's normal. I tiptoe over to my bed and make sure her eyes don't open. I plant my lips on hers. Her eyes fly open, and then close again. Her warm lips fit perfectly into mine. She sighs and places a hand on the back of my head.

"Marco…" she mewls and puts a hand up the back of my hoodie. I put a hand on her back and the other on her head. Her mouth fits with mine and I go limp from the sheer excitement. I notice someone in the doorway. I pull my mouth away from Star's. "No, Marco don't go!" she tries to trap me with her arms. I pull away and look in the doorway.

"MOM!" I look at my mother in the doorway, probably watching Star and I make out for the last twenty minutes.

"Well, it's about time," she says. I'm not sure if she is referring to me kissing Star, or me noticing her in the doorway. "Alright, alright, I'll leave you two to it, then," she leaves the room.

"Alright, where were we?" Star asks me, and pulls me in for another.