It's All Fun and Games…

"…Until Someone Gets a Cramp"

Everyone watched with varied degrees of amusement—or annoyance—as John flew back and forth between rooms, gathering things up and stashing them in a spare recreation room. While most observed, a handful of others—namely Terezi and Roxy—helped him carry things into the rec room, all the while being tailed by a loudly protesting Rose and Karkat.

See, while absolutely bored out of his skull, John had absently asked Dave what day it was, Earth-wise. Being the Knight of Time, the answer came instinctively to him. It took .005 seconds for John to jerk up and realize it was Rose's birthday today, and OMIGOSH THEY HAD TO HAVE A PARTY LIKE RIGHT NOW. Hence, all the running around and gathering of party supplies.

Rose followed him, insisting she didn't need a party, really!

Karkat followed them, DEMANDING that John stop fucking around because they didn't need a gogdamn party. REALLY.

Popular vote won over, though. They were having a party, and attendance was mandatory, lest they be subjected to whatever torturous and heinous pranks John could come up with.

He'd been thinking up really good ones a LOT lately, and after mentioning one involving toilet water, balloons, and a bucket, most unwitting trolls were game.

Dave was in charge of the music, debating between horrorcore, deathpop, and rockabilly, and deciding all three genres sucked.

Jane was whipping up a cake and some extra snacks because a party with JUST chips and soda was totally not a good party at ALL.

Jake and Roxy were having a ball with the decorations, making it as gaudy as possible and ignoring the peanut gallery that was Vriska's critiquing.

Gamzee was let out of the fridge (with threats from Vriska to not fuck up or he'd be put back in), and displayed some rebellion by drinking half the Faygo.

Somehow, between John's proclamation of party and Jane finishing the cake, setting up the whole thing took less than two hours.

….and then John decided Rose needed presents. Which delayed the party another half-hour while most everyone scrambled around to find/alchemize/Void-y power up some gifts.

Finally, after Karkat threatened to start screaming until ears bled, the party was on!

It was slow starting until Dave put on some techno dance tunes and Terezi forced Vriska to do some raunchy dance moves with her just to mess with Karkat. It certainly started up a fun game of seeing which dance moves could make Karkat turn reddest in the face. It was a game Dave won by practically giving Karkat a lap dance, making the troll shove him away and start stammering, unable to form a coherent explicative.

Despite her protests, Rose had a pretty good time, thanking everyone for the party, especially John for suggesting it. "…kind of reminds me of when I went to this girl's party when I was eight. Except for the impromptu lap dance." Cue Karkat's sputtering again. "…but at her party, I remembered we played games, like hide-and-go-seek, piñata, Twister—"

"TWISTER!" John exclaimed, already getting his sugar high on, his sudden jubilation making Gamzee honk and spill another bottle of Faygo. "OMIGOD WE HAVE TO PLAY TWISTER!"

"John, wha—" Before Rose could say anything else, John had torn off, returning less than five minutes later with a large white sheet and a paint set. "John, are you serious?"

"You bet!" John chirped, setting the sheet down and dumping red, yellow, green, and blue paint in spots on it. "PAINT Twister!" He stood up, admiring his work. Terezi poked around at it.

"I'm liking where THIS is going," she said, grinning. "PLEASE tell me we're going where I think we're going with this!"

"Please tell me we're NOT," Karkat groused, grimacing at the paint piles. "Because I don't want to have to fuckin' wash paint outta my ass." He growled when John smacked a hand to his back.

"Not unless you put it there, Karkat," John replied absently. "Still have no idea what your troll fetishes are."

"THAT IS NOT MY FETISH YOU NOOKSNIFFING FUCKWAD—"

"But anyway, the aim of the game is to spin the—oh man, I forgot the—"

"Got it!" Dave held up a hastily-done spinning board.

"Thanks, bro. Anyway, you spin the board, and you have to put your hand or foot wherever it lands on! Who wants to go first?"

"ME ME ME!" Terezi shouted, rushing up. By this point, everyone had abandoned the food and dancing to gather around to see how this would play out. Dave flicked the board.

"Okay, Terezi, Left Hand, Blue."

Terezi cackled, cracking her knuckles and walking over to the paint piles, sniffing out the blue and sticking her left hand in it. "….this was anti-climactic."

"Oh, don't worry, it gets better!" John said, practically hopping in place from sugar-hyped excitement. "See, when it's your turn, you put your hand or foot down, but you have to KEEP it down, no matter where you have to bend! If you fall, you lose!" He gestured wildly to the sheet. "I made it party-sized so we ALL play!"

Tavrosprite glanced down at his ghost tail. "…uhhhhhh….."

"Oh, you can spin the board! So we ALL participate!"

"….Fair enough." Tavrosprite took the board. "Who's next then?"

Twenty minutes later, the sheet was smeared with paint and paint-covered bodies.

Rose, Kanaya, and Terezi had both fallen out, and were watching amused, as Tavrosprite flicked the board arrow. "Vriska, Right Foot, Red."

Vriska groaned glancing around to find a red spot, smirking when she saw it was about two inches from Jake's crotch, lifting her right leg and swinging it quickly to slam down on the spot. Jake yelped, his arms and legs shaking as he struggled to maintain his backwards-crab position, sweating with relief when his crotch remained unstomped.

"Getting tired there, Jakey?" she cooed. Jake scowled, forcing his limbs to stop shaking.

"Vriska, shut the fuck up!" Karkat hissed, trying to keep his head from resting against Gamzee's chest, feeling that it would be TOTALLY WORTH IT to drop, just to make the stupid grinning fucktard juggalo drop too.

Gamzee was the odds-on winner on everyone's mind. The Bard was currently contorted in a way so his chest was facing up, but his legs were crossed over the other to twist his lower body downward, one arm over his head on a green spot and the other reaching over to rest on a yellow, not looking fatigued or uncomfortable in the least. It seemed nothing at all when Tavrosprite spun the board and had him shift his left leg further over for Left Food, Blue.

"Gog, Makara, do you have rubber for bones or something?" Vriska griped, shifting her arm to keep it from locking up. Gamzee shrugged, looking almost smug.

"Didn't I tell you this was a great idea?" John piped up, looking almost as comfortable as Gamzee, his body bridging over Roxy's with his right hand close to Karkat's head.

"Egbert, shut the fuck up before I bite your hand off and make another fucking red pile, I'm trying to concentrate!" Karkat was on the top of the pile, the worst place for his short stature, his back and legs straight, hips arched, and arms crossed in front of him, screaming at Terezi every time she made a sex-position joke. Indeed, his face was almost as red as the paint pike his face was three inches from and vowed to have John's blood add into.

Tavrosprite snerked, spinning the arrow again. "Jade Left Foot, Green."

Jade whimpered. "….I cant, the only one free is right in front of me!" she wailed.

"Then give up so I'm not chewing on your stupid outfit," Vriska shot back, shifting her face away from Jade's hood cloth. Jade conceded, calling quits before levitating up and sitting back, rubbing her sore joints and wiping the paint from her glasses.

Dirk had his turn, specifying his left foot to yellow, taking a deep breath before swinging his leg over the pile—

"GOGDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGCOCKSHITFUUUUUUUUUUCK—"

"!HOOOOOOOOONK!"

—right into Karkat's ass, knocking him off balance, dropping his weight down on everyone, pinning Gamzee down in the bottom.

John, Rose, Kanaya, and Terezi laughed their heads off, Karkat and Vriska swore so hard they made Satan flinch, and Gamzee continued to flail and honk under everyone.

It took about ten minutes for everyone to calm down, untangle, and have Roxy Void the paint away.

"Who the FUCK would do that for FUN?!" Karkat demanded, rubbing his sore ass, sure there was a bruise from Dirk's heel nailing it. "It's like the kind of fucking torture they'd make Trolls do for capital punishment!"

"What a way to go, then," John said, smiling. "C'mon, Karkat, that was fun! I mean, it's easier when fewer people play, it—"

"And less messy, since the actual way to play it is with plain spots on the sheet, rather than paint gobs," Rose added. Karkat glowered at John, his eye twitching.

"…you mean to tell me we could've done that without the fucking slippery paint THAT I TOTALLY ATE WHEN THAT FUCK-MOTHERING ASS-PRINCE KICKED ME THE FUCK OVER~!?"

John absconded quickly as Karkat began chasing him around the place, vowing to stuff his intestines with paint until he was shitting it for a perigree. Dave cranked the tunes back up so everyone could loosen their joints back up with dancing, and Gamzee curled up in the corner, silently suffering from having his bulge viced between his own legs in the fall.