Briar: OMG I am soooo sorry for hte late update. I've worked as a fulltime student and fulltime employee from January to March (I made it through) and got dating and stuff and got engaged. It's been a hard time and moving but I've done it. Not to mention I was suffering from a reoccurring depression with a lack of wanting to write. The ending though to this chapter, was so not planned. Enjoy.

Ichigo had never been to Szayel's house. He'd known of him, competing with the flamboyant gay. They were rivals since grade 10 when they both had taken physics 11 at the same time. Szayel never had a rival as smart as him and in the end it fired Ichigo enough to get the best grades. Now here he was, holding a cup of tea as he sat on the man's well color coordinated home. There was a mixture of greys, whites and blacks in the living room with filigree borders were amazing. The décor was something that would put Martha Stewart to shame. The furniture was top of the line, matching the black filigree design. No doubt the lamps were hundreds of dollars and the house far too costly for those in Karakura Town. The amount of bedrooms was unknown to Ichigo. He had already seen the outdoor pool with a hot tub. It made Ichigo feel very poor with the place he called home.

"Relax," Szayel said softly. "It's not like I plan to poison you from a vendetta back in grade 12."

Ichigo knew it was meant to be humorous but he didn't laugh. He had to be grateful though. Szayel and Ichigo were around the same size and he insisted that Ichigo take one of his outfits before going out on a date with Grimmjow. God knows why he decided to do such a thing but Ichigo figured Aizen would know of gtheir breakup since he hadn't been home in quite some time.

Grimmjow was in the other room while Szayel had fun with his blank canvas. Ichigo really wasn't interested in the girly shit that was planned. They'd already had Ichigo shower, blow dried his hair and brushed it out. There wasn't much he could do, Szayel not having much experience in hair dressing. It was hard enough to get someone to come in personally cut his hair so they left his hair as is, just slightly over his ears. Thankfully there was no glitter put in his hair and Szayel didn't want to put make up on him. The man knew his set limits. Ichigo knew he wouldn't look good with gold glitter adorning his skin. Thankfully Szayel was stylish with clothing. There was a grey t-shirt that fit perfectly fine and a pair of burgundy jeggings. When Ichigo saw his reflection even if he looked good he couldn't help but scowl.

Man, I look just like a hipster, Ichigo groused. Hot, but a hipster nonetheless. Maybe I'll fit in finally…Or people will stare. You can see how skinny I am from my legs.

Never before had Ichigo cared about his appearance but he could say he wasn't a hipster. He dressed plain; nothing too gaudy or colorful. He didn't want to draw attention to himself. The t-shirt was hard to put on and when Szayel saw the scars on his arms his eyes widened. Those vicious red marks showed off a dirty little secret he'd been hell-bent on hiding.

"You still hooked?" Szayel asked Ichigo.

Ichigo looked at the floor, ashamed of the red and pink marks littering his body. There were some faded ones that were white. The white ones had risen on the skin. They weren't ugly but they were stare worthy. The word 'sorry' was the most prominent scar and was red still from Ichigo repeatedly cutting the same spot. Every time he felt he had no worth he'd cut the word over and over again. It was like some sort of penance for the words that could never be expressed to Aizen. The man was clueless. It had been so long since Ichigo had thought about the scars littering his arms. He hadn't been ashamed of them in a long time. It was his coping mechanism; his sanity. Until now. Until Ichigo thought of what Grimmjow would think of him. Would he be angered? Disgusted? Ichigo didn't know and that was what scared him.

"When was the last time?" Szayel asked.

"A few days ago," Ichigo replied honestly. "Are you gonna send me to the psych ward?"

Szayel shook his head. "No. Not yet. I want you to stop though. I don't want my best friend to lose you. If you do cut, yeah, damn straight. I'll send you to rehab and you'll be stuck there, by yourself for over a year possibly."

"Thank you," Ichigo whispered, about to scratch his scab but stopped himself. "I…I am so scared to go there. I don't know what would happen if I ended up there. My pride hasn't let me succumb to therapy."

"I'll get you a black long sleeve t-shirt. I don't know if Grimmjow is ready to see those," Szayel offered. "I want you to start though. The therapy I mean. We'll contact mental health and let them know how serious it is. We can get through this together, all of us."

Ichigo for the first time felt shame in what he became addicted to. The cutting. It was a tension reliever and it was the only way he could stay calm. There was Ativan but that was a temporary relief. Ichigo had looked up other medicine before like Cipralex or Zolof and wondered if they'd help. That meant going to the doctor and going to the doctor would involve Constable Kisuke again. How he was right about the abuse. Even though Ichigo should tell the cops about what happened he was still reluctant to tell anyone.

Worthless, rang through Ichigo's mind.

Clenching his fists, Ichigo held back the tears as he shook. He couldn't do anything right. Nothing. It wasn't long before he was crying again, staining the shirt he wore with tears. It wasn't until he felt arms around him that he realized he was being hugged. The relief of being hugged had Ichigo stop breathing. His eye widened and he felt his body turn around and hug back. It was Grimmjow; his knight in shining armor.

"It'll be okay," Grimmjow whispered in Ichigo's ear. "I'll be here for you, always. We can get you sleeve tattoos or something to cover up your scars if you want. I'm not embarrassed of them. I'll never be ashamed of you."

"But people will talk," Ichigo choked out.

"Let them," Grimmjow replied. "They'll talk now. I don't care. I love you. Not them. If I cared what anyone thought I wouldn't be friends with Szayel."

"You'll bore of me," Ichigo said. "It'll be too much."

"And like I said before I'll catch you when you fall," Grimmjow said. "I'll be like your guardian angel. I won't be without you. Give me a call and I'll be there."

"Alright," Ichigo replied. "I'll hold you to that. Please don't betray me because I don't know if I could handle that."

"I make around twenty-seven dollars an hour now being and journeyman carpenter," Grimmjow shrugged. "You may not know it but Szayel's parents are rich."

"I don't want to take advantage of them," Ichigo replied with hot tears burning his eyes. "I'm not some charity case."

"I've been freeloading off of Szayel for years now. I've accumulated at least a month of vacation time and banked enough money to put a down payment on a house, maybe more."

"I'm an inconvenience," Ichigo argued. "What's the whole point in bothering with me? One bad day could set me off and I'll be dead."

"No," Grimmjow said. "I'll be there for you. I'm a phone call away. My job isn't as important as you are. You're my world, my life; I love you."

"Don't say that," Ichigo said with a choked sob. "You shouldn't love me. Look at these scars! Look! I'm damaged; I'm weak. Can you really walk down the street with me if I was wearing a t-shirt? Skinny old me with these ugly markings over my body without feeling ashamed? Can you handle the whispers? The stares?"

"They're your battle scars," Grimmjow said. "No one can say you're not a fighter with everything you've went through. They don't know the pain you've gone through. You're so strong and smart. You're beautiful, funny and have so much potential. You're the light in my darkness. I don't care about those scars. Looks fade but a personality lasts forever. You're who I love, you're who I want to grow old with. You're my very special person, Ichigo. Not some person named Jason, not some pretty girl named Laurie. You. You are my very special person and I refuse to let go no matter how hard you push, no matter how hard you fall I will always be there to catch you."

"You're the only person who cares," Ichigo whispered as a tear rolled down his face. "I don't want to lose you. I'd die if you left me."

"Can I kiss you," Grimmjow asked suddenly.

Ichigo nodded his head, not sure if his voice would crack or not. If he could even breathe properly was another question. He was afraid, yet this was what he wanted. The love and comfort. However, the arms that wrapped around his body as his head was pressed into Grimmjow's shoulder was not what he expected. Without hesitation Ichigo hugged back. It felt good. Damn good. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so safe, so warm. This was what Grimmjow brought him and the butterflies he felt in his stomach betrayed his true feelings. He really enjoyed the hug. The finger that gently tilted Ichigo face up from his chin had him looking directly into Grimmjow's soft ocean blue eyes. Those eyes. Ichigo felt the flip flop in his stomach again and it was like the first time he'd met Grimmjow in the convenience store. A blush tainted Ichigo's cheeks as he slowly moved forward. The kiss that had their lips touch had the flip flops increase and the need to breathe decrease. The pressure on Ichigo's chest tightened but not from fear. He felt himself slowly start to relax after a few seconds. It was then he pulled back and he could see the love in Grimmjow's eyes.

"Wow," Grimmjow whispered.

"Yeah, wow," Ichigo whispered.

It wasn't long before they were in line at carnival getting their weekend passes thanks to Szayel. They'd already missed the first day which was really just an evening of play. Today was the last full day where all the vendors were set up and fireworks would shoot into the sky at 10. It had been years since he'd seen the fireworks and he was somewhat excited to see them with Grimmjow. He felt giddy, happy. Even if he could feel the stares of people in town, people he had once gone to school with Ichigo didn't care. The scars on his body, they felt invisible with Grimmjow by his side.

Today was the day and nothing could ruin it. This was the first time Ichigo felt happy and he would relish in it. The outfit he wore thanks to Szayel was somewhat of a blessing even if the t-shirt was baggy. There was only so much one could do. Szayel had basically gone on an online shopping spree and got the fastest method of shipping. There was no place to really shop in Karakura Town and Szayel was all about fashion. All while shopping he complained about having to go to Tokyo if he were to hit the trendy stores.

"It's pretty busy today," Grimmjow noticed. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Ichigo replied. "I have you."

A sigh escaped Ichigo's lips as he passed people on the streets in Grimmjow's car. They drove along the street. The sun was still high in the sky, beating down on its inhabitants of Earth. Karakura Town was suffering from the heatwave still but they had rain a few days ago. The fireworks wouldn't be cancelled at least. It was the last day of carnival, the first full day and the fireworks around 10 p.m. Ichigo didn't know if he could handle the day. He said he'd be fine but that was a blatant lie. The sadness seeped into his pores and he wasn't sure how he'd make it as a date. He didn't fit in with Szayel and Grimmjow.

The three men had spent the night on the patio to Szayel's home, the latter had barbequed shish kabobs, steaks and served a nice red wine for dinner. Ichigo didn't have any of the wine and drank water instead. They had vegetables that were cooked and crisped from oil with mashed potatoes. The portion was so large and Ichigo wasn't used to eating that he only managed to eat a few mashed potatoes and some shish kabobs. It was divine regardless of how much he ate and the breakfast that the chefs prepared was far greater than Ichigo ever expected to eat. There was eggs benedict, hash browns, waffles with strawberries in red sauce with whipped cream, bacon and sausages. Again, Ichigo could barely stomach the whole meal but it had him salivating to eat such a scrumptious meal. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a meal so grand. The flavors that exploded on his taste buds had him moaning and relishing in the flavor. After so many television dinners, if Ichigo hadn't barely eaten he'd most likely have high blood pressure by now from the few meals he did get to eat. The difference in how they dined, how much money they had and the lifestyle showed that this wasn't where Ichigo belonged. The first night that Ichigo had food made for him made him want to cry. It was overwhelming having someone cook for him and allowing him to eat something.

"Ich?" Grimmjow asked, startling Ichigo from his thoughts. "Babe, are you alright?"

"Fine," Ichigo answered distantly, not sure if he was or not. He couldn't tell Grimmjow the truth.

"Ich, look at me," Grimmjow said as he encased Ichigo into his arms with a hug.

Ichigo tried but instead rested his head on Grimmjow's chest. There was hesitation and Ichigo wasn't sure he wanted to meet Grimmjow's gaze in fear of anger of judgement. Ichigo\s heart was beating rapidly and his throat constricted tightly, making it hard to speak.

"Ich, talk to me please," Grimmjow softly spoke. "What's wrong?"

Tears gathered at the corner of Ichigo's eyes and he shut them tighter in attempts to keep them in. The tears from stress and exhaustion finally reached him. He felt his body shake and the tears finally escaped, shaking him to the core. Ichigo felt like a failure, like he shouldn't feel that way. He barely slept even without Aizen being nearby. The fear that kept him awake at night that Aizen would come back for him was maddening. The thought alone that Aizen's friends would see him was terrifying. Aizen always got what he wanted and Ichigo knew that. One day Aizen would come for him and kill him.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo finally managed to gasp.

Grimmjow's pointer finger gently touched Ichigo's chin, titling his head up and causing him to look at Grimmjow. A look of concern and worry was all Ichigo could see on Grimmjow's face.

"Oh Ich," Grimmjow whispered. "I love you. You're so important to me. Is this too much for you? Do you need to go home?"

Ichigo shook his head. No. He wanted to see the fireworks and ride on the rides that he hadn't done since he was of how much fear he felt, it had been so long since Ichigo had attended carnival or even gone on an outing. No. He refused to ruin his chance at happiness.

"Let's go on a ride," Ichigo suggested in a hoarse voice. "How about the sizzler, that looks like a fun one."

"Okay," Grimmjow agreed and leaned in to softly press his lips against Ichigo. "I love you."

Ichigo didn't know how to respond after hearing those words for the second time in under a few minutes. It was startling to hear but even if it brought some anxiety it also gave him warmth. The feeling that would be akin to happiness bubbled inside of Ichigo's chest.

This is real, Ichigo had to internally remind himself. He loves me. He truly loves me. I don't know if this is some stupid type of shallow, puppy love but he has serious intents.

But how long will he be able to handle all the suicidal thoughts and depression? The voice of doubt asked Ichigo.

That was true, Ichigo knew that. Mental illness were combative and he'd be a fool to think it'd be an easy finish. Now that he'd suffered from depression Ichigo knew he'd be more susceptible to relapse. It was an illness just like someone with an addiction. Every day was a battle to not go backwards to where they once were.

Pathetic, the voice spat at him.

It made Ichigo feel unhinged mentally to hear his own self-hatred appear and have him think such terrible thoughts about himself. It brought him down and now that he had a semblance of happiness he didn't want to lose it. That was what he desired. Ichigo didn't want to be sad anymore. Ichigo didn't want to die. Figuratively on the inside and literally on the outside.

Ichigo stood on his tip toes and leaned forward to give Grimmjow a kiss on his cheek. There were scoffs of disgust in the background but Ichigo looked away. No matter where he went people would scoff and chastise him for such forms of affection. It didn't matter if Karakura Town was becoming more acceptable of the LGBT community, people could be homophobic as hell and no one would stop them in fear of social rejection.

"Let's get on that ride," Ichigo said as he held his head up high in attempts to ignore the scorn he received from simple public affection.

They were paired together and the ride was only a few minutes long of going back and forth. Moving fast and slow. As a child the sizzler seemed to last way longer but as a grown adult with a bigger concept of time it was short. The sudden jerks agitated Ichigo's wounds and he tried to keep his face neutral. The groans of pain that wanted to come out were silence and thankfully the music was loud so even a Ichet whimper could be passed as nothing.

The rides had long lines, some going for twenty minutes and those were the more exhilarating lines like the Salt and Pepper shaker, the Gravitron or the Octopus. The rides that reIchred less tickets had short lines and it wasn't until they were near the spinning strawberries that Ichigo was stopped by Grimmjow.

"Let's go on those!" Grimmjow pointed out.

"Spinning strawberries?" Ichigo asked, surprised.

"Because I love you berry much," Grimmjow said with a silly grin.

Ichigo chuckled at that. No matter what it seemed Grimmjow had a pun that could make Ichigo smile. It was magical. The way Grimmjow made Ichigo's heart flutter when Grimmjow smiled at him. There wasn't much that made Ichigo happy nowadays but spending time with Grimmjow, realizing what love was helped a whole lot. The warmth that he felt when Grimmjow held him at night was relaxing, the soft kisses though strange felt nice. When Grimmjow held Ichigo it felt good, real good. It was soothing. It had been so long since he had any affection that wasn't questioned. It was nice. All good things came to an end. Unknowingly for Ichigo, his fairy tale would soon come crashing down and it was the villain who was successful, not the hero.

"Let's go," Ichigo said with a smile on his face.

There were no lines to the spinning ride and they got on with ease. The ticket holder saw their wrist bands and when they got on, they waited for a while and only a few others got on. They were checked and the doors were safe and soon they were off. Slowly spinning. Grimmjow had shown Ichigo a trick on weight distribution to get them spinning at least three or four times. It was so much fun and it had Ichigo smiling brightly. The wind whipping in their hair, hot air hitting their faces. Grimmjow had whispered how he loved that smile and kissed Ichigo on the cheek causing him to blush as red as the fruit they were in.

What was more interesting about the spinning trick was the ticket holder who jumped on and off the platform. It was cool to see. Ichigo wouldn't ever be that brave to do something like that. It wasn't until they began to slow down that the man came around and let the small metal gate doors open.

"That was fun," Ichigo said as they moved from the exit.

"Yeah," Grimmjow agreed. "I'm hungry and the fireworks should start soon."

"I'm not hungry," Ichigo said, "you get something though."

"You haven't eaten at all today," Grimmjow protested. "You'll eat something good. Get some meat on those bones. I bet you're starving."

"I'm not good at eating," Ichigo said sheepishly. "It bothers me. Probably something I've been conditioned into. I am not quite too sure…um…can I have cotton candy?"

"Of course," Grimmjow said. "Anything your heart desires.

So much different than Aizen, Ichigo thought.

However, before Ichigo could even take a step forward he saw a familiar face. Terror was dumped on him like a bucket of ice. Tousen. Tousen, Ulquiorra and Nnoitra were Aizen's friends. If they saw him now he was screwed. They would tell Aizen and he'd come for him. No way in hell that was going to happen. Without a second thought Ichigo made a mad dash towards the beach where the vendor booths were. Tousen and the other were headed the other direction, towards the Salt and Pepper shaker. Ichigo wasn't aware if they had seen him in his dash for safety. Grimmjow didn't say anything and Ichigo was unaware if he'd followed even as Ichigo moved around people. He knew Grimmjow could easily catch up. The burning in Ichigo's chest was evident.

Please don't have Aizen here, Ichigo begged silently. Please.

Adrenaline coursed through Ichigo's body as he kept running down the small gravel hill and along the path. He could have passed Aizen and Ichigo would never know until it was too late. Grimmjow still hadn't caught up to Ichigo yet and it was clear how he'd been lost in the crowd. It was just as Ichigo passed the tarot reading booth that he bumped into someone, their hands immediately going to his upper arms. The tight grip on his arms had Ichigo's heart beat hard in fear. He knew that touch. Looking up, Ichigo couldn't hide the sheer terror as he saw Aizen staring at him with a sadistic smile on his face.

"Hey baby, miss me?" Aizen asked.