Hello everyone and I hope you enjoy this two shot; I've been in the mood to write something angsty since I myself sort of had a few rough days recently. It's sort of based off Immortal Technique's Internally Bleeding song and named after as such.

Warnings: Yaoi, Suicide (character death), cheating, and Ed's foul mouth, sex

Disclaimer: I neither own the song or the manga/ anime, sadly.

Summary: Ed discovers Roy cheating and succumbs to all the tragedies of life and death. Roy x Ed

xXx

Ed had regretted completing his mission in Briggs early; he had wanted to come home to surprise Roy with his early arrival, letting the older man know he would be there for his birthday. It was so cold up in the North and General Armstrong had been her usual power driven self. The blonde sighed cracking his fingers, they were surveying the borderline to see if any spies had infiltrated their forces and struck up any walls in places that looked potentially easy to accesses. Ed managed to finish fast and didn't bother phoning Roy that he was on his way back. The man wasn't home and figured he would be at his office, Hawkeye literately putting a gun to his back to finish his paperwork. It was night time, and the building was dimly lit as Ed entered and he knew something felt amiss. There were hardly any workers and not a sound was heard in the dark hall ways. Ed felt a little tingle ring along his spine but ignored it.

He kept on to the promoted Brigadier General Mustang's office were the door had just been slightly open. He pushed on quietly seeing all the desks empty and raised a startled eyebrow until he heard thumping noises coming from the inside of Mustang's supposedly closed office. Ed stood perfectly still as his ears picked up on the sound of… soft moaning and flesh hitting flesh? Ed frowned and his eyebrows drew together; he could feel his heart begin to beat faster as he inched slowly toward the partially opened door.

No, no, no… Ed thought in cycles, his heart anxiously racing and his throat drying as if he was walking across a desert to get to the door and see what was behind it. The incoherent moaning only got louder and the sound of sex becoming all too clear. His mind prepared him for whatever possibly lay beyond that door.

He couldn't avert his golden eyes as his irises saw past the wooden doors and into the office of a once 'loyal' lover- Roy Mustang, his commanding officer and boyfriend since before the Promised Day began, was currently fucking Jean Havoc, his subordinate and team mate. Two men he had considered pseudo family were currently tonguing each other on the desk himself and Roy had made love on countless times before. If this what it was like to see a train wreck Ed knew now why it was so hard to look away. He felt both his fists tighten, the water rushing to his beautiful eyes and that excruciating lump in his throat. He watched his onyx eyed lover thrust rather brutally into Jean, their mouths kissing and opening like fish in shallow water, gasping.

It was too much, it was too cruel, Ed stomped away, the images forever burned into his mind. He ran far and fast, not caring that he swung the first set of doors in Mustang's office open like silk curtains; he needed to get out of there, he needed to be far away from Roy Mustang. He ran to the dorms where he knew Al would be. His little brother Alphonse, the one with open arms always there for him. He always knew how to cheer Ed up. The short blonde didn't bother to knock as he practically kicked the door open in furious rage. But the apartment was empty and Ed felt confused and panicked. He looked slowly around the apartment and saw a note on their refrigerator-

Hello Brother,

I wasn't sure if you'd make it back in time before I left but I just wanted you to know that I'm staying with Winry and Granny for a few days. If you read this before I return from my trip please call me and let me know you're safe. I'll be returning in time for General Mustang's birthday.

Always with love,

Alphonse Elric

At that exact moment Ed felt hot tears run down his face and finally dropped to his knees and broke down sobbing. He was alone, figures. Of course Al wouldn't just be waiting around for him; he had gotten his body back and wanted to experience the world with his newly found senses. But Ed felt like he was dying, internally bleeding. It felt like he could jump in front of a speeding car and not feel the impact. He hiccupped softly, every time he thought of Roy diving deep into Jean he felt his heart clench and his stomach do flips.

"Fuck!" Ed yelled punching the floor a few times and badly bruising his knuckles.

He was not destined to be happy, it seemed. The universe was constantly punishing him, taking away the things he loved and made him happy. First his mother, then his limbs and the comfort of his brother who was bound to steel, then he met his estranged father and once he finally accepted him his father was taken away. Then he gave up the one thing he was ever good at, the one thing that never let him down, and his alchemy. Of course it had been worth it, seeing his brother parade around jubilantly in something that wasn't armor. But alchemy was something everyone knew Ed was profusely passionate about. But all seemed well, Roy and him had confessed their feelings to each other and they began dating immediately. He could remember the night Roy had deflowered him- they were tangled in black satin and silk sheets, he clung on desperately to the man and Roy was so gentle with him until the pain subsided and they went at it the whole night.

So many beautiful memories with that man, from the time they shared a triumphant kiss when the Promised Day was finally over to the day they announced to Roy and Ed's respective families that they were dating to vacationing in Xing and making love morning and night their entire vacation. So many beautiful memories that were haunting him and crushing him, making him feel like dust in the wind. A fresh wave of tears overflowed again and Ed felt himself shake violently in his empty room. Cheating like that was unforgivable. Never had he wanted to scream till he was hoarse and break everything around him yet feel worthless, and crawl into a little ball and die.

"What do I do, what do I do…" Ed chanted rocking back and forth softly. He was internally bleeding.

Two Days Later

Roy Mustang was currently sitting in his office frowning at the phone that hadn't wrung in the past two days; it wasn't like Edward to not call him when he had the chance and while he knew how Olivier could be Ed had always managed to call him at least twice a day. It had been one of the only things he had to look forward to. At that exact moment Jean strolled in holding two steaming cups of coffee, an unlit cigarette hanging limply from his smiling lips.

"Morning Sunshine," Jean said "You're looking a little tired."

"I am Havoc." Roy replied simply, not giving the man any attention.

"I brought you come coffee too." Jean insisted on staying and the general was in no mood to deal with him after their 'activities.' "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for Ed's call."

The room went frostily silent, both men knowing who the real person of interest was and both knowing that Ed was the only one that truly mattered to Roy. That last night, like the other two times, had been a fluke because Roy was drunk and he had missed his gorgeous little blonde dearly. He was riddled with guilt and hated to look at himself in the mirror and knowing they both were betraying their favorite little alchemist.

"I see, well I best be on my way."

Roy didn't bother to look up as the man exited and the sound of doors closed. He tried to make a few signatures sloppily and when the phone finally rang he didn't let it ring twice.

"Ed!?" Roy practically yelled into the phone.

"Sorry Mustang, it's Armstrong, not your little boy toy." The woman's cold voice rang, not the blonde he wanted to hear from.

Roy rolled his eyes, "Holding my boyfriend hostage up there Armstrong? To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

He could feel the woman narrow her cold blue eyes on the other side. "I've called to ask if Fullmetal turned in his report yet."

Roy's eyebrows knit in confusion, "Turn in his report, he hasn't been here, I thought he was up there with you?"

"He arrived two days ago, are you that inadequate that you don't even know where your own men are?" Olivier's comment cut cold like steel.

"I've gotta go, I'll let you know when his report is turned in." Roy hung up and grabbed his coat.

A strange combination of happiness and worry filling his being. His little chibi had been in Central, but why didn't he tell him? Had something happened on the mission, was he hurt? The onyx eyed man pushed those thoughts aside, Olivier would've mentioned if something went wrong. Then suddenly he remembered, his birthday was in three days of course! Ed had probably wanted to surprise him. A huge smile plastered itself on Roy's face, Edward could be so cute when he wanted to be! It's one of the many reasons he loved the little blonde so much. Roy was going to do this after the Fullmetal Alchemist had returned from his mission, which he assumed to be after his birthday, but now he could do it on the day of his planned dinner- the Flame alchemist rubbed an index and thumb on the small wooden box in his pocket. He wanted to ask Ed to marry him, to be his for the rest of eternity. No more fooling around, no more fucking around both literately and figuratively. Roy shivered at the dirty adultery he had committed and with a friend no less. His spine shivered, no more of that. He didn't know why he had even done it, a moment of weakness he supposed, but he knew now that he wanted to take things with Ed to the next level. He had even asked Alphonse for his blessing and had told Riza who let a rare smile grace her face.

The only other place Ed would be was at the dorms. He knew Alphonse had gone away but would be returning for his birthday dinner. All he had to do was phone the younger Elric brother and tell him that he was going to propose at his birthday dinner. But in the meantime Ed and him could go at it like rabbits and then he could take his little blonde out for food. The older Elric had wanted to surprise him ha! Well two could play at that game! He opened the door slowly, wanting to surprise and pounce Fullmetal and hear him yell curses at him. But to his surprise Ed wasn't on the couch or in the little kitchen which could only mean…

"Edward?" Roy called out walking to the room. The door was open and Roy brushed it open and saw Ed just lying in the middle of his bed, unmoving. It wasn't quite the reunion Mustang had been expecting and quite frankly a little unnerving. "Ed, are you okay?"

The older Elric didn't say anything at first, sitting up rigidly he turned his tired gold irises at Roy. After his painful meltdown Ed sort of went into a catatonic state, nearly numb and devoid of all emotion. He didn't feel like eating and all he had done was shower, drink water, and sleep. Sometimes he would stare at the wall with no thoughts in particular passing in his mind as he was now. But he looked at the smiling Roy and felt happy but then betrayed.

Of course, Roy doesn't know I know…. Ed thought absentmindedly. "Hey Roy."

Roy raised an eyebrow, "Roy? You never really call me that, something the matter my little blonde bombshell?"

Ed felt the man's arms wrap around him and pull him onto his lap, his lips gently planting kisses on his neck. Don't touch me….

"I know something that'll make you feel a lot better." The Flame Alchemist whispered in his ear, licking the shell and biting playfully down.

Did Roy say these things to Jean to? Did he pull him into an embrace and whisper sweet nothings into his ear? The same hands that were tugging and pulling away at the boxers and shirt that Ed had on, those filthy hands had touched a so called comrade, but how many more had they touched? How many others did they please when Ed wasn't there? The older Elric felt his eyes water, his body stiffening as Roy continued to mark his lover, letting the world know that Ed was his and his only. But the more the infamous Mustang touched the filthier Ed felt and the wound in his heart had reopened again. The man was just using him, he didn't love him; but Ed loved him, he loved him so much it was killing him from the inside. Roy had betrayed him and at long last the blonde pulled away getting up, not wanting to let Mustang see his face.

If he sees my face… He'll know something is wrong for sure…. "Sorry I'm not feeling well."

"Oh is that so? We should take you to a doctor, I don't want my little chibi to get sick." Roy teased and got no response as Ed went into his bathroom and locked the door.

Roy knew something was wrong, even when his lover was mortally wounded he would still manage to fight and yell at the enemy. A little voice in the back of his mind told him that Ed knew the terrible deeds he had committed behind his back and the fair man shook his head. No, Ed would've beat him to a pulp had that been the case. Maybe Ed was just upset that Roy had ruined his surprise. Well no matter, he could read his little blonde like a basic alchemic book. All he could do at the moment was wait.

xXx

If you want more review, also a side note I have nothing against Jean, I love the guy to death.3