Hey, McGoo!

Thought I'd drop you a line in case you're missing the DiNozzo presence. What am I saying? Of course you're missing me … that ol' squad room isn't the same without yours truly. Why 'yours truly'? I never end a letter 'yours truly', when did you ever get a letter signed 'yours truly'? Something out of Victorian times. Ask Ducky – not because he's Victorian, of course but just because it's the sort of thing he knows. Better wait until you're not too busy though; but you know that.

London is great, thanks for asking. Well, I know you haven't but I'm sure you meant to. Turns out that the American Defense Attaché is based in Grosvenor Square. Did I mention that before I left? Only one of the best addresses in London! Right at the centre of what's going on. They've put me in this apartment – sorry, flat – overlooking Hyde Park. I go running there every morning: tell the Boss, won't you? Building up the stamina again. Better not tell Ducky, tell him I'm taking it easy. Which I am, especially yesterday morning when I had to pull up because I jogged into the horse poo – would you believe people go horse riding in the park?

Weather's been great. Well, great for the UK which means it's only rained twice (for six hours) but hey, I've been out and bought an umbrella. Oh, and a raincoat. Drew the line at a sou'wester. It can't rain here all the time … can it?

Hope you're keeping the Boss well caffeinated. Hope you unstuck your fingers from the keyboard. Well, you'd have been disappointed if I hadn't done it! Don't forget to keep on Delores' good side – yes, she does have one and if you find yourself veering on to the bad side, give her some cherry pie drops. She loves them. Do you think she's got an obsession with all things cherry? Best not to ask. Would be like asking Gibbs if he wants cream and sugar in his tar.

Did the culture vulture bit at the weekend. Went to some of the museums and art galleries. All right, I went to the gift shops but I'll go back some time.

Time to go. Remember the DiNozzo rules. Or the one that applies to you: don't sit at my desk! No, there are two that apply to you: don't get killed! Took me ages to get you to this stage – don't regress.

Ciao

Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo (on temporary re-assignment). Note the word temporary, McHopeful. I'll be back.

McGee smiled ruefully as he got to the end of Tony's letter which had been written on a pop-out robot card which he was itching to assemble.

"What you got there?" asked Gibbs sweeping into the office.

"Letter from Tony," said McGee waving it in the air.

"He all right?" asked Gibbs in a determinedly casual voice.

"Seems fine. Said to tell you he's building up his stamina. Going for runs in the morning."

"Hmmph," said Gibbs in a way which could have meant both approval and disapproval.

"Doesn't think much of the weather," observed McGee, "it's been raining."

"I hope he is dressing appropriately," said Ducky whose contact in the mail room had told him about the arrival of a letter from England.

"He's bought an umbrella and a rain coat," said McGee, hoping that Gibbs wouldn't tell Ducky about Tony's morning runs.

"Splendid," said Ducky, "I wonder where he purchased his umbrella? I remember there was a very fine shop off …"

He was interrupted by Abby running in as fast as possible.

"Ernie said there was a letter from Tony," she said excitedly, "is he OK? Is he having fun? Is he …?"

"Is he working?" came the Director's stern voice, "the secondment to the Defense Attaché isn't meant to be a vacation."

Gibbs sighed. The squad room had been quiet for the last couple of days in Tony's absence but the arrival of a letter from him seemed to have livened the place up immediately.

"Thought you were just getting him out of the way, Leon?" he said with a half-smile.

Leon gave a half smile of his own in acknowledgement. DiNozzo had been injured a few weeks before and had only just returned for what had been expected to be a prolonged period of desk duty. The Director prided himself on a well-run federal agency but an office bound Tony had threatened to be too disruptive and Vance had jumped at the opportunity to send him on a secondment to London where the Defense Attaché department wanted to review its security protocols. Tony was well qualified for the work, would enjoy catching up with at least some of his English relatives and the smooth running of the DC office would continue. It seemed a win win situation and Gibbs had agreed so long as the assignment was only temporary.

"Um, I'm sure he's working very hard, Director," said McGee loyally, "and he sent us a package!" This was a master stroke and diverted everyone's attention.

"Hope it's not filled with super glue," said Gibbs morosely.

Tim twitched and withdrew his hands hastily.

"Gibbs," said Abby reproachfully, "Tony wouldn't do that. Actually, he might, but the mail room would have detected the chemicals. Go on, Timmy, open it!" and she clapped her hands in excitement.

McGee opened the parcel.

"He's been to the Science Museum," he observed.

"I would love to go there," sighed Abby.

"it is a most interesting building," said Ducky, "it was designed by …" he broke off as he realised that people were anxious to see what was in the parcel, "… but that's a story for another time," he said, "I had better summon Mr Palmer. He won't want to miss out on the excitement."

Tim looked at the post-its on the contents of the package. "This one's for me," he said happily. It was a History of the Computer T shirt, "Cool," he said as he held it up for everyone to see.

"You thinking of wearing that here, McGee?" asked Gibbs.

"Um …" hesitated Tim, who longed to put it on, "er, no, Boss."

"Good answer," said Gibbs briefly.

"What have I got?" demanded Abby and then squealed with excitement as Tim handed her a pair of oven mitts with X-ray pictures of hands on. "They're so great! I can wear them with my new coat!"

"Uh," said Tim, "I think they're for the kitchen, Abby. You know, indoors."

"So?" asked Abby obviously puzzled by this distinction.

McGee decided to avoid further discussion by handing a book to Ducky, "this is for you, Ducky."

"Splendid," said Ducky appreciatively, "it's a biography of James Watt. He was one of the finest Scottish minds there has ever been. Do you know …?"

"Is there something for me?" asked Jimmy who had arrived in time to prevent another speech from his mentor.

"Yes, there is," said McGee.

"What is it? What is it?" asked Abby who was as interested in everyone's presents as in her own. She clapped her hands again although the sound was muted because she was still wearing her oven mitts.

"It's a Double Sided Magnetic Human Body," said Jimmy happily, "this will really help with my anatomical studies.

"Director, this is for you," said McGee.

Vance raised a surprised eyebrow. He hadn't really expected a gift from DiNozzo. He smiled when he saw what he had been sent.

"It's a car in a can," he said, "a remote control car with some traffic cones."

"Is that what you do up in your office, Leon," drawled Gibbs, "play with cars?"

The Director decided not to be intimidated. "The kids will like it," he said with dignity as he retreated to his office.

"And this is for you, Boss," said Tim, handing him the last package.

It was a wooden puzzle. "Galileo's globe," said Gibbs as he peered at the instructions, "hmm. It's well made." He turned it over thoughtfully in his hands for a moment.

Silence fell as everyone stood holding their gifts and then looked sadly at the vacant DiNozzo desk.

"Back to work," barked Gibbs.

There was a collective sigh before everyone obeyed.

AN: probably more letters from Tony to come. The gifts really are on the Science Museum Website!

I wrote another story where the idea of Tony on desk duty frightened people at NCIS so I guess this is another take on that idea.

I haven't seen many episodes with Ellie and I don't think I can write her yet, so I think this story is pre-Bishop.