Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

un-beta'd

Ratchet shifts uncomfortably before hunching down low on his tires. He had been under the impression the road would be clear. Instead, he's stuck bumper to bumper due to a car accident farther ahead.

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame!"

Ratchet cringes at the off-tune voices that warble out of the car beside him. His sensors turn until it scans Key bounces on his tires, happily, while two young soldiers riding with him sing to the tune of his radio. He's not sure how Key can stand the screeching the humans call music. He's also pretty sure the only reason the humans partnered with Key for this outing was due to Sergeant Epps blackmailing them.

"Darlin', you give love a bad name!"

He continues down the line past Key towards Locke, who sits right behind him. Locke's engine grumbles irritably but he's not sure if it's from the tingly sensation brought on by his scanner or the singing. There's no one 'riding' in him, except for a hologram sitting in the driver's seat.

The medic gives a snort thinking it was a horrible idea to bring Locke and Key. If Optimus hadn't insisted, or Ironhide threatened, this 'mission' would be complete by now. It's a bit insulting his only job nowadays fall under being a courier between Diego Garcia and their newest base.

It doesn't help that he's also the unofficial sitter to the two wayward twins who have a penchant to scare humans. He wants to make a fuss and tell Prime that he's the Autobot CMO and not some nannybot. Of course, with only so many Autobots stationed on Earth it's difficult to foist them off to some other bot.

Jazz is confined to medbay until he regains use of his limbs and his memory isn't full of holes. While Bumblebee spends every moment he can with Sam Witwicky, Ratchet can't begrudge the younger bot. Bumblebee handles his Guardian duties well while doing more than his fair share of long distance scouting missions with the new arrivals. Not to mention, Ironhide and Optimus are joined by one or two Autobots when a Decepticon signal flares. Everyone has a job and a place. Ratchet, with the lack of injuries to fix, seems to be the only one with "free time".

Ratchet grumbles, lowly, "It's unfair."

That also brings up the problem that everyone is still in the dark about what the 'twins' really are. It's tempting to just spill everything. Ratchet wants to, really wants to, but his spark quivers at the thought that he won't be forgiven. It's bad enough he lied about how he managed to obtain the Autobot lieutenant's remains. The fact that he's kept this secret for so long and never mentioned it might cause a rift between his comrades. Primus, even Jazz was led to believe he survived due to his skills as a medic. What would they think of magic or old organic gods?

'Would they feel betrayed?'

Ratchet tries not to think about it as the car in front of him finally moves. He tries not to snarl when it stops after rolling forward only three feet. His lights flicker briefly in anger before he's able to shut them off. He's about to comm. Key to shut the frag up because the singing is finally grating his processor when the sound of an incoming missile distracts him.

"Look out!"

The ambulance transforms, sweeping several cars out of harm's way. They tumble off the side of the road but they survive the blast. Other cars aren't as lucky when the explosion sends them flying. Some land upside down, trapping humans inside, while others crash into oncoming traffic from another lane. He tears his optics away from the fire and explosions to place distance between himself and the automobiles filled with humans.

Ratchet doesn't need to turn to know the twins are transforming. He focuses on returning fire, barely hearing Key yell at the soldiers that were with him to get everyone away from the fight. Ratchet doesn't even turn when he yells at the closest twin.

"Stay here!"

After the scans he was been able to run on Locke and Key, he knows they have no weapons. Sure, their denta and sharp claws are considered weapons but when they're coupled against long range weaponry they become useless.

"We can help, Ratchet!"

Ratchet is too busy returning fire at the seekers targeting him. It figures he would be the objective right when the other Autobots are nowhere in their vicinity. It's the perfect opportunity to either take the Autobot CMO as their prisoner or kill him to cripple the bots on Earth.

Ratchet winces when shrapnel sprays along his side and he forces himself not to show fear when he sees a group of familiar Decepticons gunning for him.

"Primus," he whispers.

He can't help but watch in horror as the Constucticons twist andchange to create Devastator. He watches the Decepticon crawl forward on all fours, large body towering over him. Devastator opens his mouth to roar and Ratchet flinches when it begins to suck up everything in its path like a vacuum.

"Ratchet, run!"

He doesn't need to be told twice but he feels himself lift off the ground before he can take a step backwards. He flies upward, barely managing to hold onto to the top lip plate to avoid being crushed by the spiraling teeth. He shoots, trying to aim at the small connections keeping the coils in Devastator's mouth together. He hopes the collapse of one coil will be enough to stop the suction.

"Ratchet!"

He loses his grip and watches as the turning jagged edges of metal close in on him. He manages to avoid being swallowed when he flings his scalpels to cause a jam. Devastator howls in outrage and Ratchet falls without the air current keeping him afloat. He cuts off a cry when he lands on the ground painfully.

His vision flickers briefly when he tries to stand up again and he falls. A pair of black servos haul him up before he can reset his optics and he's quickly turned away from the furious combiner. Key scowls when several seekers swoop down to box them in. The standstill gives Ratchet time to try to pop his left arm back in its socket. He can't seem to get a good enough grip and fails due to a loose elbow joint in his other arm. He gives up to watch the Decepticons prowl around them. Locke and Key hold him steady, hissing when a seeker strays too close to their huddled group. He wonders what the cons are planning.

'Why haven't they killed us?'

'What are they waiting for?'

The sound of turbines causes him look up and Ratchet grimaces. Starscream transforms midair to land before them. The Air Commander motions for Locke and Key to be moved aside causing another round of growling. The seeker reaches out to grip the medics collar faring and grins, "Well, well, look who we have here."

Key shoulders forward, denta snapping, "Get your skeezy talons off of him!"

Ratchet falls forward when he's released and winces when he jostles his injuries. He hears Key snarl after the seeker tosses him aside. Locke rumbles lowly, unhappy at being held back. Ratchet watches nervously as Locke's blue eyes begin to turn yellow as his anger surfaces.

Starscream laughs when he turns to his fellow Decepticons to shout, "Now, to what we've all been waiting for!"

Ratchet eyes their surroundings wondering if the survivors from the road managed to get to safety. A part of him curses when he sees several reporters aiming their cameras in their direction. It finally clicks that it would be one thing to kill him, fast and brutally, and another to be executed on live television for the world to see. This would renew the human's fears and possibly destroy the tentative alliance they have with the Autobots for their lack of control over the Decepticons.

Ratchet recoils when Starscream pulls out a canister from his subspace. He wants to shake his head because this didn't happen last time! Where did Starscream get his servos on a container of cosmic rust?

He tries to move away from the approaching seeker but several pairs of sharp talons hold him still. Ratchet doesn't look away when the container tips over his helm. He shouts in pain when something slams against him, knocking him into Locke. He turns, optics wide in disbelief.

Ratchet shakes his head thinking this is just a bad memory purge but it's not. Key screams and convulses as his body begins to crumble. The black paint disappears until there's only a mound of rust left. Beside him Locke is screaming, plating flaring wide and arms moving upward to tear Starscream apart. Locke tackles the Air Commander and Ratchet has just enough strength to shoot a Decepticon hurtling towards him in the face. Ratchet turns in time to see Locke tear the seekers helm off before ripping the Decepticon's chest open. More enemies approach and guns whir to life but Ratchet doesn't cower away from what might be his death.

Everyone is so caught up in the chaos of battle that no one notices a door made of fire and wind and black blood open behind them.

Devastator notices too late and tries to wheel back from the dark void when a torrent of liquid fire churns out in his direction. The combiner breaks apart trying to escape the spray of heat enveloping them. Ratchet looks over his shoulder trying to recalibrate his optics to see what's happening. He thinks he sees a one eyed, mouthless rotary but he isn't sure. He can barely make out the gruesome weapons attached to the newcomer's shoulders spewing fire and he thinks he sees pincers for hands.

"Aw, yeah!"

Ratchet barely manages to pull Locke away from the spray of molten fire. The medic dodges a blast hoping to get away from the psychotic bot trying to take on all the Decepticons by himself.

"Let's get this party started!"

::O:O:O::

The raging fires around them begin to settle and Ratchet feels like he's about to fall into stasis at any moment.

"Yeesh, doc, you look like slag," the rotary cackles, "and what's up with those colors?"

Ratchet ignores the gagging sounds the mech makes as he stumbles towards Key's remains. He hesitates when his optics land on Locke already there on his knees. What is he supposed to say? What can he say?

"Locke, I-"

"Shh…"

Locke shushes him as he runs sharp digits through the dust. He stops, sighing softly, before disappearing. Ratchet shutters his optics, unsure of where he could have gone until he looks down. There he sees Locke - or would it be Loki now? – digging through soot in his human form. He watches in amazement when a body is pulled out of Key's crumbling frame.

Loki huffs, "You fool. A warning would be nice in the future."

"Hey, I saw my chance and took it," Gabriel grins, leaning heavily on the dark haired god. He pats down his frizzy hair, chuckling, "Besides, we both know doc bot wouldn't have survived that."

"I wasn't even sure you would survive."

"Oh, ye of little faith."

Gabriel's laughter is interrupted by the one eyed stranger. Ratchet shifts uneasily trying to shield the angel and god when the other steps closer. He still isn't sure if the Cybertronian is an ally regardless of what the red brand tells him. He's not sure how sane the mech is and would rather not find out the hard way in case he's attacked. The sheer ruthlessness the rotary exhibited while fighting the Decepticons was unsettling.

The lone eye zeros in on Loki and Gabriel. The unknown Autobot's antennae flicks irritably and he buzzes a snort, "So, you're the guys? You don't look like much to me."

"That's what you said about us, remember?"

The voice startles Ratchet because he doesn't see or sense anyone on his scanners. The guns anchored to the rotary's shoulders quiver and bend until two males – more gods? - stand on his shoulders. One sports a torn suit and unkempt hair while the other has no damage to his clothes.

The heliformer clacks his pincers together angrily, "Pfft, whatever."

Loki ignores the threat of sharp appendages and frowns up at the two men.

"Mala! Mayhem! What are you doing here?"

One of the men laughs and the other just shrugs.

"We followed you but we took a wrong turn three doors back," The male in the messy suit replies, "We brought a friend though!"

"Se llama Whirl-"

Ratchet tilts his head curiously when the second man on Whirl's shoulder speaks pauldron. His language module informs him the man is speaking Spanish.

"And he likes guns-"

"Explosiones-"

"Pissing people off-"

"Destrucción-"

Gabriel clears his throat to stop Mala and Mayhem's gushing.

"This is great and everything but I almost melted and I feel like I'm about to pass out so…"

Loki grits his teeth when Gabriel lets himself fall dramatically against him. The god is tempted to drop the angel but he opts to hold him closer instead.

"Ratchet!"

Their group jolts at the shout. In the distance they spot Optimus and the rest of their small Autobot ensemble with their guns out. The human military stands back to inspect the smoldering bodies of deactivated Decepticons while Prime moves quickly to make sure Ratchet is well.

Loki places a hand on his forehead, moaning, "Actually, I'm feeling rather faint myself."

Ratchet frowns when the god lets himself fall. The way Loki falls and manages not to drop Gabriel suggests he isn't tired or injured. And really, what else is the medic supposed to expect? After all, the god and angel have an interesting rivalry when it comes to theatrics.

Ratchet can only stare incredulously at their still forms knowing he's going to be the one doing all the explaining by himself. It's even worse now because he's pretty sure Whirl and the two latched onto the heliformer are going to cause problems.

"Slaggers."

End note: For people not familiar with Mala and Mayhem: Mayhem is an advertising character in an insurance advertising campaign by Allstate. La Mala Suerte is the name Spanish networks use for Mayhem in the Allstate commercials. In the universe I created for 'Facing Death' they are two separate entities that appear on occasion and are bound to Loki (Mayhem) and Gabriel (Mala). Check out my profile for other updates!

Song used:
You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi