Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin…..

Note: Hey Guys so it's been years, I hate to inform you that I'm pretty much deleting the other stories of mine, I know where I wanted them to go, and maybe I will complete them later, but I've been through so much sh*t lately that I really don't have the heart to fix them up. Sorry again.

So this is a new story based off what I've been going through and what I have been feeling so that's all, I think I just need to get these pieces out first before I can go back to those other stories, and once again I am truly sorry for not updating in years.

Just Another Day:

A gun shot…a pounding bang, resonating within the air. Merlin couldn't breathe; he had to get out! He had to get out now!

"SHOW YOURSELF!" the yell sounded out, Merlin could hear others screaming out as they were caught, being pulled away, their cries full of terror; he knew what happened next, they all did. The footsteps of the knights grew closer: Thump, Thump, Thump. Merlin couldn't help the tears that slipped out, silently gliding down his painted cheeks.

He knew this had been a bad idea, but Gilli had been adamant that it would work. And Gods knew how they all wanted to believe it would. But the plan had been a failure from the moment it was conceived.

"You can't hide." A snarl echoed to Merlin's ears, Merlin had to stifle a sob that raked his body; he needed to get home. He just wanted to go home.

He knew what he'd have to do, he knew what he had to do, but that still didn't make it okay. Gods Merlin felt alone, he was surrounded by fire, by destruction, by death. He closed his eyes recognizing the truth of the situation. He'd have to fight his way through the brigade, he needed to get home, they couldn't catch him. If they did…

He couldn't think about that right now. First the knight; Merlin slowly turned to his head to peer behind the crate he had crouched behind. The Knight was an elder man but still strong, he held an assault riffle in his two hands, his movements slow and steady, his finger on the trigger; he was ready. Merlin would have to be quick if he wanted to escape. With a flash of gold the knight was pushed back into the brick wall behind him, and just as fast as that happened Merlin ran out, flying by, his feet barely brushing the floor. He was fr-

SMACK!

Merlin fell with a sickening thud. A cry scratched itself from his lungs. His head hurt! Merlin turned to see the knight grabbing his ankle.

"Let go!" Merlin screamed kicking, scrambling to get away. The knight grunted, as he avoided Merlin's feeble kicks.

"Druid Scum." The knight growled out as he pulled Merlin over to him, a knife in his other hand. Merlin screamed as he made a futile attempt to grab something, anything, to escape from the knight of red.

"Stop!" he scratched at the ground, "Please! Let go!" Merlin was dragged to the knight that held the knife over Merlin's chest. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no-" the knight thrust down and Merlin screamed out cowering in on himself, flinging his arms up for any form of protection.

.

.

.

.

But the pain never came… Merlin peeked an eye open to see the knight gone. Merlin slowly sat up, the tears pouring from his eyes, his hyperventilating breath was laboring him. Merlin saw the knight on the brick wall his skull broken open by the force of the magical push. Merlin had killed him…

He had killed him.

He killed him.

"Oh gods." Merlin whispered softly, "No…" Merlin crawled over to the limp knight, Merlin choked. WHAT HAD HE DONE! He hadn't meant to kill him, he only-

He's not dead; Merlin convinced himself, he couldn't be, Merlin wasn't a murderer. Merlin scrambled up horrified, he needed to leave, he needed to go home. Merlin ran, his black cloak billowed behind him as he stumbled past the fire, he closed his eyes as the screams sounded out, from both the knights and his fellow druids. Merlin could feel the paint on him smudge as more tears slid down his face. Merlin opened his eyes to see the destruction. Pyres were set up left and right, fire was everywhere, knights with flamethrowers were spitting out fire on the sorcerers, the screams of pain were so loud.

"Hey You!" Merlin snapped around to see another knight, he recognized this one: Leon. Merlin promptly turned—stumbling slightly—and ran off, he could feel the heat rubbing against his skin. His magic was buzzing, sending him into an almost catastrophic state—the adrenaline was pumping so fast Merlin wasn't even sure of what he was hearing anymore. But he could feel it, he could sense the magic around him screaming, he could feel the pain, this was a massacre.

Wind whipped around him as he ran, the wind strong enough to almost become a tornado, spinning, twisting, turning. Merlin's tears were starting to float around him as the wind was almost picking him up, he wanted to go home.

SMACK

Merlin was deposited on the floor of his bedroom, his breathing labored. His magic had reacted and taken him home, the only place he wanted to be at the moment. Merlin let it all sink in, Gilli and all his friends were probably dead, and… Merlin murdered someone…

No! It was self defense, that's all, it wasn't murder. It couldn't be. Merlin quickly ripped off the torn cloak and stashed it away in the loose floorboard in his bedroom, he then got up, he felt dizzy, the tears still fell—less violently now, but still falling. Merlin walked over to his door and slowly opened seeing none of the lights in his house were on, good Uncle Gaius was asleep already. Merlin snuck quietly into the bathroom trying to keep his breath as silent as possible. Slowly Merlin staggered into the bathroom to look at the mirror. Blood was splattered on his clothes and his skin, the black paint that was meant to show power and strength was smudged, becoming polluted and no longer distinct in it's designs. Merlin quickly scrubbed himself clean, trying to keep his voice from ever getting to loud as the sobs began to come back at full force. Underneath all the paint and blood was a terrified seventeen year old Merlin. Merlin closed his eyes tightly trying to rid the images from his head, he could still hear the screams whispering in his head, like ghosts haunting him. Merlin then turned off the light and headed back to his room in the darkness. He preferred the darkness, it was isolated and quiet, it kept you safe, where no one could see your weakness, your identity. Although Merlin had crossed the true threshold of darkness ages ago.

He really needed to sleep, he had a physics test tomorrow…for now he just needed to forget, forget everything. When Merlin entered into his room he simply fell unto his bed, not bothering to put the sheets over himself, although he did hug his pillow tight to his chest. He just needed to sleep, to forget, to rest…no matter how long that took.

—Time Skip—

Merlin sat down at the lunch table his friends had claimed for themselves. Merlin opened his homemade lunch (more like just simple snacks he could grab in the shortest amount of time) and laid it out to make it appear as if he was going to eat. Merlin's stomach was twisted, there was no way he could eat. His friends Arthur, Gwen, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, Lancelot, and Leon all sat with loud conversations, boisterously shouting and laughing at one another.

Arthur, Gwen, Gwaine, and Lancelot were all juniors like Merlin. Leon, Elyan and Percival were seniors, they all met due to them being on the football team, and Merlin was later introduced to the group by Gwen, who was Elyan's younger sister, who also happened to be dating the ever so kind Lancelot.

Merlin didn't dare look up, he couldn't face Leon after last night. He was pretty sure Leon hadn't really seen him, after all his hood had been up for that time but he couldn't be too cautious.

"So did you see the video I sent you last night on skype?" Gwaine asked happily, eating his food, the rest of the group laughed, and Merlin smiled, to be kind. Merlin didn't know if he had gotten that message—due to the fact he was out—but he knew Gwaine had probably forgotten to add him on the group message (it wouldn't be the first).

"Yeah it was hilarious!" Elyan stated, they all laughed at the remembrance of the video they all seemed to be able to recall. Merlin couldn't recall anything except the blood and screa—no, that was bad, he needed to stop now.

"So did you hear? About the Druid revolt last night?" Merlin stiffened at the voice of Arthur.

"What another one?" Gwen asked concerned, "Why do they keep doing that, can't we just all live in peace?" Oh how innocent she was.

"You know magic is evil Gwen, I mean, about 43 knights were killed at the revolt last night." Arthur stated simply, looking grim as he was furious. Gwen gasped softly at that, bringing one of her delicate hands up to cover her mouth.

"Those damn Druids, all they do is cause trouble." Gwaine muttered angrily. Merlin kept his head down, pretending to be interested in his lunch.

"How many Druids were killed?" Elyan asked curiously, turning towards Arthur. And goddess Arthur's brilliantly blue eyes actually lit up with pride. Pride.

"200." He stated, the rest of the table gasped, Gwaine even whistled. Four hundred had gone on that revolt that meant half was killed. Merlin felt like he was going to puke out all his insides.

"Sheesh, those Druids don't know when to quit do they?" Gwaine uttered in disbelief. Percival slightly nodded, keeping to his silence, and Leon quickly agreed.

"You were on patrol last night right Leon?" Arthur asked softly, curiously gazing at Leon as if he was a saint. Leon nodded, the whole table went silent to hear his tale.

"I wasn't there for the beginning but I was posted there as backup when we received the call." Leon told them looking forward calmly, "I got a few Druids although I saw a few get away as well, it was an easy detainment, they weren't nearly as strong as they usually were." He stated in a 'matter-of-fact' voice.

"Hmmm…they're probably getting weaker, that's good." Arthur stated gazing upward as he thought. Merlin stayed quiet he knew better then to speak out about the Druids, not even Gaius knew the full truth.

"Anyways guys lets meet up Saturday." Arthur asked the group although Merlin knew he wasn't really invited, that was the way it went, even if he had showed up he was usually ignored, and that was okay! Seriously! It was better that way.

Although his magic—the very same magic that jumped underneath his skin and caused his senses to flinch—seemed to disagree.

And that's it! For now. Well what do you think? Interested? I'm just sorta using this as a vent for now, I've been seriously depressed and isolated that I guess I just wanted to get it out. Well good luck!