A/N: I wrote this because I am bored and sweaty. First chapter from Arnold's POV. By the way, the main characters on HA are ten in this, but, it's still the summer. As the story progresses they'll enter fifth-grade. I'm going to try to get most characters' POV's. I hope that this won't suck too much.

Dear Fanfiction writers,

I recently read a few stories that you wrote where I was featured as a character, and I must say that I have mixed feelings on your stories.

There are plenty of things that I would like to tell you. Why don't I start with the ones where I'm a bad person?

This does not have to do with everyone, only about 3% of the fanfiction population. I would never do some of the things that you guys write me to do. I wouldn't be a cheater or take advantage of a woman. I'm against that.

Oh, and now about the ones where I'm paired with Lila. I'm sorry, but, I can't see myself in a relationship with her. I once thought about it and like-liked her but that was in the past. Lila is pretty and she's nice although I realized that whenever we talk I just stare at her face.

Speaking of pairings, sometimes you guys just pair me up oddly. I've seen at least two stories where I'm with Timberly. Timberly. No offense to her, but, she's six and I'm ten. That's a four year age difference, you know. Imagine what it would be like when we're teenagers. A sixteen-year old boy dating a twelve-year old girl. That sounds creepy. And in case you didn't know, she's Gerald's younger sister. No doubt that my best bud would most likely be upset if I started dating his six-year old sister!

Hem. Sorry, got a little carried away about that Timberly thing. Now let me continue with pairings (yes the list is that long, you guys).

Recently, there have been a lot more stories where I'm with Rhonda. I'll admit that once, in kindergarten, I had a huge crush on her since she's so pretty, but, I can't see myself in a relationship with her, either. I feel like, even if I'm not a bad guy as I mentioned earlier, in the end the only reason why I'd be dating her was because she's rich and because she's pretty.

Then, there's one last pairing; me and Helga. That pairing is in 97% of the fanfiction population. It's the most popular pairing on the site, apparently. I don't know what to say about that. I'm not even sure if I like Helga or if I like-like her; or if I love her. I think I like-like her, but I can't be sure. I can see myself in a relationship with her but I think we'd argue a lot.

So, yeah, that's pretty much all that I have to say, guys.

Your buddy,

Arnold