A/N: Well, hello there, campers!
Welcome to another addition to the world of TaserTricks fanfiction! I really love the gorgeousness of the pairing that is Loki and Darcy Lewis, so I couldn't resist the lure of writing another fic - this one though, is no Human!AU. It's set straight after Thor: The Dark World, so that means after Iron Man 3, but before Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
It's also rather AU, because I started writing it, well, pretty much after I came home from the movies having watched Thor 2. It just stalled a bit (*ahem* a lot). So don't look for too much Marvel accuracy here...
I also haven't finished it. I KNOW. Usually I try to get the bulk of my fics done before I start posting so wait times between chapters are shorter, but I'm being spontaneous! Yay, me! Let's hope my spontaneity doesn't bite me in the arse.
The title is shamelessly stolen from the legendary Kiwi band The Mutton Birds.
Enough from me. If you like it, let me know! Or not. Ooo, follow! Following is good too. :)
DISCLAIMER: These wonderful characters and worlds do not belong to me. Bugger.
Chapter One
Darcy's week got that little bit worse the moment Thor stuck his tongue down her throat.
Oh, she thought her week had been crappy enough already, but as she moped across the foyer of Stark Tower at about lunchtime on a Friday, determined to survive the last five or so hours before the weekend, she quickly discovered that she had thought wrong.
She only had a moment to process her best friend and former boss, Doctor Jane Foster, breaking into a sly smile as her gorgeous beef-cake of a boyfriend, Thor, God of Thunder, bent over her delicate hand and placed a lingering kiss on it. He murmured something for her ears only before he straightened, turned to Darcy, loped over, and proceeded with the tongue probe.
Darcy Lewis was no idiot. Thor had not suddenly become overcome with passion for her after spying her across the crowded foyer. He and Jane were plotting again. Stupid plotting plotters.
No sooner had the thought crossed her mind and a fist tightened to give the blond God a thump in the well-toned chest, when a massive crack echoed off the high windows and rattled the ceiling. He removed his tongue and grinned over her shoulder.
"Brother!" He boomed happily, "What brings you to this fair city-"
"Let. Her. Go." Came the dark command.
Oh, crap.
Darcy pushed herself out of Thor's loosening embrace and whipped around to see the Trickster God, pulsing with dark power, standing feet braced, fists clenched by his sides, and a glower that could stop a thousand fangirls in their tracks.
The previously bustling foyer was rapidly emptying as it became clear that Thor and his adopted brother, the somewhat reformed villain Loki Laufeyson, were not going to sit down for a nice spot of tea.
Loki's ice green eyes snapped to the gaping brunette, who was hovering between the two gods, unsure whether she should try to calm things down, or run away and try not to pee her pants.
The latter desire was winning.
"Darcy Lewis," Loki's face broke into an evil grin, "Come here, love."
Definitely winning. This was Darcy, running away. She scuttled over to a far-too-amused looking Jane, who in the meantime had been joined by one Pepper Potts, current boss. She didn't turn as she heard a grunt, and a slap of leather on fabric.
"Jane," Darcy pleaded as she reached the scientist, "Dude. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this." She finally succumbed to temptation and looked around at the brotherly bash-up escalating behind her.
Jane innocently shrugged, "Why on earth would I want my boyfriend to kiss you?" Her brown eyes shone mischievously. "What could that possibly achieve?"
Darcy gaped at her. "Uh, maybe THAT?" She swung her arm around without looking to the two gods currently having at it. "Couldn't you just CALL him?"
Jane sniffed, unamused. "He wasn't returning our calls."
"So Thor had to TONGUE PROBE me?"
"It got his attention."
"No shit, Sherlock." Darcy stomped her foot. "Now, fix!"
All three women jumped as a spectacular sounding crack caused the ground to shudder. Pepper visibly winced as the marble floor cracked beneath Thor, who was attempting to stop Loki's knee from squishing his throat. "Ooo, Tony is not going to be happy-"
"Who the hell invited Bamm Bamm and Pebbles?!" Speak of the devil.
"Greetings, Man of Iron!" Thor cheerfully called out from the floor.
Loki yelled in rage. "You will not speak with that traitorous tongue!" His hands lunged for his brother's face. "I'm going to rip it out!"
Tony made a frustrated sound and scanned the three women's faces. He stopped on Darcy. "You. Boop. Spill."
Darcy blanched, "Me? It wasn't my-" She was cut off as two large hands grabbed her hips from behind.
"You. Stark," a slightly battered Loki snarled at the other man over her shoulder, "are treading on thin ice."
"Loki," Jane piped up, "we just needed to-"
"No," the god sniffed, "I don't want to. Come, love."
Before Darcy could gasp, they both disappeared from the now less-than-pristine foyer.