Chapter 7 - 6th January 2016

chapter

L'Angleterre: No problem mate; I'm rubbish at romance and shit so the romancing stuff isnt gonna be that big.

Guest: thanks, yea i know i'm using it for the humour, sorry you don't like it so much

Thanks for reviewing guys:)

Denmark - MathiasKøhler

It was Norway's week to take the helm of the class.

He'd decided a few weeks back he did not enjoy teaching. He especially did not enjoy teaching purebloods. Sometimes he thought they were being deliberately ignorant.

A prime example of why he thought this was right in front of him in the form of Zacharias Smith - a fifth year Hufflepuff who had somehow, according to the previous Muggle Studies teacher, managed to retain an Exceeding Expectations grade for his last two years of work. And yet he maintained that a telephone was called a 'fellyphone'.

"Telephone."

"That's what I said!"

"No it isn't."

"It's basically the same thing, sir!"

Norway was just about ready to snap his neck in two but the thought of how Denmark would laugh in the idiots face before throwing his arm around Norway and dragging him off to get a beer and bitch about Sve and Fin (in a nice, brotherly way, of course). And Norway no longer desired murder.

Oh wait.

Norway shook his head and frowned.

He refused to believe what had just gone through his mind.

"Sir?" asked Susan Bones anxiously. Norway glared at Zacharias Smith and stepped away.

"A telephone is a device used by muggles to communicate. Much like a phone call except there is no need to stick your head in fire. Recent developments have allowed the use of mobile phones- a more portable variation of the telephone which included the ability to text - instantaneous communication via writing - and the internet which we discussed last week. Smartphones are a type of mobile phone which feature incredible technological advances such as- oh-"

Norway stopped speaking and tilted his head.

His heart felt funny.

"Professor?" asked Hannah Abbott, standing up wide-eyed with worry as Norway collapsed against the table in front of them, clutching his chest.

"I'm fine," he said, struggling to get himself back to his feet.

Then there was another sharp pain that shot through his body.

And then Norway collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.

"SVE! Something's happened to Norge!"

"What? No way Denmark…" said Finland, appearing at Denmark's side in an instant. Denmark frowned at Finland's lack of faith in him(and that Sve had ignored him) and nodded viciously.

"I believe him," said Iceland, seemingly having appeared from nowhere. "Oslo is under attack by those magic people England told us about in August."

"Oh no!" said Finland, his eyes widening in horror "Sve! Pack your bags! We're going to Scotland!"

Denmark turned to Iceland, frown marring his usually cheerful face.

"Why didn't Finland believe me?"

"Because," said Iceland in a deadpan "You're an idiot."

And, well props to Ice because he wasn't wrong.

Umbridge was sat in her office, fuming.

It was that bloody Professor...Arthur Kirkland.

Oh how he'd had potential! A man from a pureblood family that traced its lineage back to the days of the founders! Very few people could still make that claim. How excited she had been when she learnt that a man of such high standing was to be working at Hogwarts at the same time as her - and how much more exciting it was that his brother had begun working with the Ministry of Magic.

Everyone in the Wizarding World knew of the Kirkland's and the power they held but few people had ever met them and no one since they'd gone into isolation. They were lucky to witness their return to the public eye. She was lucky.

Or she thought she was.

It turned out that Arthur bloody Kirkland was a muggle-lover! Oh how tragic! Had she such power...such lineage...she would never dare sink to that level.

And to think the man had found a way to allow muggle toys within school walls.

She was sick of it.

Walking into the Study Hall to see groups of muggleborns huddled over that little square they called phones or walking around the corridors to see them with strings coming out of their ears! And those ridiculous headbands they wore...with large plastic circles for their ears…

And to make a bad situation worse, Fudge wouldn't hear a word against him!

"Now now Dolores," he'd said "Wouldn't want to upset his brother now, would we?"

And his brother was a problem.

What she'd thought had been a blessing as the Kirkland patriarch made himself available to the Minister, providing more funds than even Lucius Malfoy had even, turned out to be a major obstacle in her path. Fudge had even begun to ignore her!

So of course! Something had to be done.

For the good of the Minister, of course.

Romano rolled his eyes at Prussia as he talked to Japan about the awesomeness of beer.

"I prefer sushi," said Japan, nonchalantly, much to the annoyance of Prussia. Because he had tried sushi before and had thrown up (the fact it had been cheap and well past its sell-by date obviously had nothing to do with it).

"Well well well," came an annoying voice behind them. "Look who it is. Sitting in my sofa."

Malfoy.

What a fucking surprise.

"Does it have your name on it, child?" asked Prussia, making no effort to hide his distaste for him.

"Child? You're my age! And i'll have you know that has been my seat since I first came here. I command that sort of respect, but of course, you wouldn't understand."

"Yes," said Romano "You command that respect and not your father's pocket, of course."

As cowardly as Romano was, it had to be remembered that the mafia originated from his country. And this Malfoy kid was making him extremely angry.

Romano didn't often get angry enough to show his mafia side. But he was getting there.

"How dare you! My father-"

Malfoy was cut off as Romano shot to his feet, looking decidedly evil as a purple aura Prussia and Japan had only seen come off Russia surrounded Romano.

"Your family is nothing on mine. You are pitiful and small compared to us. If you want to continue your sentence, continue. Just remember that I know over a hundred different ways to torture and murder you without being caught."

"Like you'd dare," said Malfoy, but he was clearly nervous.

"Try me," said Romano, with a manic gleam in his eyes and Malfoy's breath hitched as he felt a sharp blade prodding him in the stomach, having cut through his jumper and shirt.

Malfoy gulped and staggered backward, tripping on Prussia's feet.

"Kesese what a little bitch," he laughed, patting Romano on the back as he watched Malfoy run away from them. "You are so much more awesome than I originally thought Lovino."

Romano gave a little smile before his signature scowl came back into place.

"That felt good," said Romano

"They're insane," said Theo in horror, as he watched the two walk off together.

England paced at the foot of Norway's hospital bed.

He'd insisted that all Norway needed was some sleep in his own bed, that he didn't need to undergo all this...rubbish...the mediwitch was enforcing on them but he'd been utterly ignored.

Norway himself was completely fine now. Well, at least he appeared to be. As far as England knew, the attack on Oslo was still ongoing so Norway still had to be in pain.

"I do hope your friend is okay," said Dumbledore from beside him. England merely grunted before he was shoved to the side completely.

He was on the defensive as he jumped back up and looked around wildly, only to find that he had been victim to a panicking Dane.

"NORGE! You had better be alright!"

"I'm fine Mathias," Norway scowled.

"Oh No- er- Lukas! We were so worried!" Finland was fretting at his bedside, opposite Denmark, with Sweden trailing behind him.

"Y's," said Sve, looking slightly less aggressive than usual. Iceland stood next to Denmark hesitantly.

"We came as quickly as we could...big brother," said Iceland and with those last two words, all trace of annoyance vanished from Norway's face and he gave the tiniest of smiles.

"What is this?" asked Dumbledore, bemused "I was not aware anyone could enter the castle without my permission."

"The castle could sense what they were here for," said Arthur off-handedly "Of course she'd let in concerned family. We'd better leave them to it. We have Death Eaters to discuss- If they're expanding into Scandinavia, it's not good for us."

"Hm," said Dumbledore, nodding along whilst he questioned just how Arthur could know such a thing.

Arthur didn't think much of it a he thought about the scene before him and decided he wouldn't bring up the fact he'd seen Denmark clutching Norway's hand tightly, or that Norway had held on.

Hermione frowned and huffed angrily, shutting the book aggressively.

It made zero sense to her. Absolutely zilch.

Guernica, she'd found out, was a Spanish city that had been bombed by the Germans in the 30s.

Why would Romano have looked after Antonio after 'Guernica'? Realistically, she supposed something else could have happened there. Antonio, for all she know, could have been attacked there by a 'German bastard'. That, naturally, wouldn't be in any book she'd read. It'd be a plausible enough reason for Lovino to have had to look after him. But she couldn't help but think...

She sighed.

She was reaching. She was suspicious of them already so she was over-analysing everything she'd heard them say.

"Alright?" said Theo Nott, sitting on the seat beside her.

"No," she said honestly. The two had become somewhat friends during their Arithmancy classes together. Not that Ron knew. He'd have blown a fuse!

"Those transfers, right?"

"What kind of government employs fifteen year olds to do legitimate paperwork? I snuck a look at some of Alfred's work and he's signing off Senate decisions. It makes absolutely no sense! And if there was such a scheme, there'd be a record but mum and dad told me they'd heard of no such thing, even after having researched it."

"Yeah, something fishy is definitely going on. I swear to you that Lovino straight up threatened to murder Malfoy and Gilbert didn't even flinch."

Hermione frowned.

"Tell me about Kirkland. He's supposedly in charge of them, right?"

"Yeah I guess. I mean everyone knows off the Kirklands - they trace back to the Stone Ages and they're THE richest family in the country I'm pretty sure. There was some tension between Arthur Kirkland - our Professors father I'd assume - and the Ministry of Magic back in the fifties and they kinda just went into isolation and no one's seen them since. Which makes it really fishy that, at the same time, two of them have just randomly emerged. Duncan Kirkland has already usurped Lucius Malfoy as Fudge's right hand man."

"Hmm," said Hermione, frowning and pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't understand."

"You're telling me," Theo snorted before shaking his head and pulling a book out of his bag. "Anyway, Arithmancy. Suppose it'll be less confusing than this whole thing."

"Oh definitely."

"Shit," said England. "Shit shit shit shit sHIT SHIT!. FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCKIN FUCK FUCK FUCKING BUGGER! BUGGER BUGGER BUGGEDY BUGGEDY BUGGEDY FUCK! FUCK ARSE! BALLS BALLS FUCKIN SHIT! SHIT FUCKIN WILLY! WILLY SHIT AND FUCK"

Then Arthur turned and saw America and Canada staring at him gobsmacked.

"Woah," said A merica,

"What do you want?" snapped England, turning back away from them and leaning on his desk. He had far too much to worry about right now.

"Well we were going to ask you to play soccer with us-"

"IT'S FOOTBALL YOU BLOODY YANK!" said Arthur, twirling around again and America flinched back at the totally unnecessary anger.

"Is something wrong England?" asked Canada meekly and England turned to him, anger slightly abating as he realised that he was being a a-class dick.

"Sorry," said England shortly, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I just- Ireland just called. North hasn't been around in a few days."

"OH!" said AMerica, with a wide-eyed glance at Canada "That's not good."

"Yes," said England "Obviously. Fuck me how does a nation just go missing?"

"She'll be around England," said Canada "Mexico disappeared for a few days once and he turned out to be with Portugal and Netherlands plotting to beat up Spain." England snorted at that. Ah such memories. But still. He worried.

"Thank you," said England. "So, you were saying about football?"

"Soccer"

"Shut up Alfred," chimed both Canada and England.

Back in the Great Hall, France tried not to notice the huddled Spain and Prussia in the corner of the Hufflepuff table.

It was quite obvious they were there. After all, Prussia was a Slytherin and the Hufflepuffs had made a point of moving away from them.

He really did miss being part of the Bad Touch Trio...if he'd gone as a fifteen year old he'd be right there with Toni and Gil. But no, he had to be a teacher and deal with the exact type of rubbish he'd pull. And apparently he had to punish the nations when they got too rowdy. God who did England think he was?

Whilst France was lamenting about the fact he couldn't join Spain and Prussia on their plan to what he assumed was prank England, the two of them looked over at him with manic gleams in their eyes.

"Oi, Francis~!" called Prussia, standing from the edge of the table "Your hair looks magnificent tonight"

"Why thank you Gilbert, you're too kind!" said France, flicking his hair over his ear, and missing the way Spain was trying not to laugh.

"You know what would make it look better?" asked Spain and it was then that France realised just how close the two had gotten.

Oh no.

"Guys…"

But the next thing he knew, both had jumped over the table and launched themselves at him, pinning him down to grab his hair.

"NOT MY HAIRRRR!" Francis wailed in anguish, unable to push his two friends off him. England was too busy laughing to do anything about it.

"Mr Carriedo, Mr Beilschmidt! What on earth do you think you're doing?" asked McGonagall, flicking her wand to get the two fifteen year old nations of their Muggle Studies professor.

"Having fun?" said Antonio with a charming grin that did not appease McGonagall one bit.

"This behaviour is unacceptable. Come to my office immediately."

The two laughed and high-fived as they followed McGonagall out of the Great Hall and England leaned down to Francis' side.

"Are you actually crying?" he asked, making no effort to hide his amusement.

"My hair," France whimpered

"You know, Antonio's side doesn't even look that bad! Merlin knows what Gilbert was trying to accomplish though…"

But that was not the right thing to say as Francis gave an even louder wail at the thought of what the Prussian had done to him.

"I don't know where you came from but at Hogwarts we cannot tolerate such blatant disrespect of our faculty!" McGonagall fumed "And that you two don't even seem sorry for what you have done! You assaulted a Professor!"

"It's only Francis, Prof," said Gilbert, rolling his eyes

"We're having...ah what does Arthur call it? Banter? Yes miss, it's just banter!" said Antonio and McGonagall scoffed.

"What rubbish. Especially coming from you Mr Carriedo, you have appeared to be a fairly amicable student thus far. I expected better. 30 points from Hufflepuff."

"Aw, they're not gonna be happy,"

"And you Mr Beilschmidt...well this is not the first time we've had words, is it? You refuse to cooperate in class, you insult students and now this… I WILL be contacting your guardians. Need you be reminded that you are a guest at this school?"

"Yes, of course ma'am," said Prussia, sarcasm dripping off his every word but McGonagall seemed appeased.

"Fifty from Slytherin as this is not the first time I have had to deal with you. Now back to your Common Rooms."

The two left, feigning guilt for their actions, before bursting out laughing.

"DID YOU SEE HIS FACE?"

"I think I saw tears mi amigo!"

"Francis is such a wimp, it's so awesome!"

"Who do you think she's going to contact?"

"I don't know, I thought Arthur put himself down as our guardians," Prussia shrugged but he clearly didn't care.

Dinner the next day turned out to be surprisingly eventful.

Norway was back, much to England's delight - he was decidedly the most sane one of the four of them. He didn't however, appreciate the four other Scandinavians who'd decided to hang around.

Denmark had already floated off to find Prussia and America and the three were talking about how awesome they were (Malfoy, barely a foot away from them, looked as if he was going to have an aneurysm).

There was a bang and the Great Hall doors were opened but no one could see anyone at the door.

"OWOW GO AWAY!" Prussia cried out all of a sudden and everyone turned to see a woman in a green dress whacking him with a frying pan.

"GILBERT YOU LITTLE SHIT, HOW HARD IS IT FOR YOU TO BEHAVE?!"

"ELIZAAAA STOP IT!"

"MY" *whack* "NAME" *whack* "IS" whack* "ELIZAVETA" *whack*

"What in the name of Merlin?" asked McGonagall, waving her wand to blast Hungary away from a cowering Prussia.

"Oh, don't worry about him," said Hungary rolling her eyes "He's got a strong head"

"Yeah, I've built up a tolerance to her unawesome frying pan," said Prussia sourly as he rubbed his head, much to McGonagall's horror.

"WHAT?!"

And then Austria stode in, Hungary having apparently rushed passed him.

"Oh not him," said Prussia, banging his head on the table

("See! He does it himself anyway!" Hungary defended)

"I will now express my anger" said Austria, a piano appearing from nowhere as he sat down to play Mozart.

"...I thought his anger was Chopin," said Prussia to Ludwig, who merely slapped the back of his head.

"Elizaveta… Roderich…" greeted England, having come down from the teachers table "What brings you here?"

"I got a letter from this school," said Hungary "About this idiots behaviour. So I thought i'd come here myself to deal with it," said Hungary, the picture of innocence. "I absolutely had no intention to visit my cute little Feliciano"

"MISS HUNGARY!"

"FELI!" Hungary cooed, her attention taken away from the annoying Prussian as she hugged her favourite little Italian. "Awww Roddy look how cute he is!" she squealed, pinching his cheek.

"Miss… Hungary?" said Hermione to herself, frowning.

"Isn't her name Elizabeth or something?" said Harry

"Elizaveta, she said,"

"Ha, who cares, look how hot she is," said Ron, awestruck, much to Hermione's annoyance.

Dumbledore was getting annoyed.

It was bad enough he had no idea about any of these students and now strangers were entering the castle on their behalf without his knowledge? Utterly ridiculous!

"I don't know WHY you bought them in," McGonagall fumed as she paced the length of his office and Dumbledore couldn't find it within himself to disagree.

"I asked Duncan Kirkland for help," he said simply and McGonagall rolled her eyes and glared fiercely.

"Fat load of good that was. What help can a group of teenagers even provide for the Order?"

"I don't know," said Dumbledore, plopping a lemon drop in his mouth "But I suppose we'll find out."