"The Ballad of Al Bundy"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Married... With Children" or anyone from the show. "Married... With Children" and its characters are owned by Sony Entertainment. Anyway, since I've been working hard on poem after poem (that is if anyone's gotten a chance to look at them), I'd figure I do another one, but this time, it'll be dedicated to our lovable shoe salesman, Al Bundy! Let's give him the love he needs!

Al Bundy, Shoe Salesman

Born in the city of Chi-Town

He has a horrible life much worse

Than a sky could fall down

But life wasn't always like this

He always had a good life

He actually ate food

Back when he had no wife

He loved his father so much

They couldn't be separated

Even when he passed away

Their bond as one had elevated

He wanted to make his dad proud

And become a tough guy

So what better way to become

Al "Touchdown" Bundy at Polk High?

He was unstoppable and unbeatable

There was no final countdown

At one time, he scored all the way

Right up to his fourth touchdown

He had dreams and aspirations

While resting on his nest egg

But that all changed forever

Thanks to a redhead named Peg

She was responsible for his downfall

He was bound for the hearse

And from that moment on

Was the birth of the Bundy curse

He had to retire what he loved

Oh, how his heart was struck

When he became shoe salesman

He knew that his life would suck

After marriage came two kids

That were so comfortably numb

One was a perverted weirdo

The other blonde and dumb

He had to take crap from his neighbors

Al had hated them so

Seeing their smiles on their faces

Gives Al a reason for his brains to blow

One was obsessed with looks

And was lazy like Peg

The other was an short-haired feminist

Who was born from a chicken's egg

That didn't compare to his job

Of selling shoes and crap

Looking at fat women's feet all day

Really made Al want to snap

Instead, he'd rather look at hooters

And take a little snooze

Heck, if Al Bundy would have wanted

He would sneak in a bottle of booze

But it would all be over

As soon as he came home

To a greedy wife and two kids

Who prefer money than a shoe-selling gnome

And let's not forget their dog Buck

Al's companion of sorts

Who would rather bite on Al's shoes

And pee on the shoe-man's shorts

He couldn't wait to live in hell again

Which comes 'til tomorrow

He rather cry than have sex with the wife

Cause it sounds a little sorrow

Trapped in a marriage called prison

Where there ain't no sweet honey

And from that pitiful boring tale

Ends the Ballad of Al Bundy.

I really do have a knack for this poetry stuff, huh? That's totally my sweet spot just in case I get stuck from this writer's block. Anyway, what did you all people think? Feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off! BAZINGA!