okay, this idea was originally an A&A story which turned into a GMW story which turned into the most wonderful time of the year (just a snippet) so i decided to turn this actually into something jesus christ..

PS: set in college!

zest; n
great enthusiasm and energy

She dragged him to some Twilight concert (some band?!) down at the Bay. She promised it will be worth his money and that, no, he won't regret it. And, yes, it is perfectly necessary to drive ninety miles per hour on the seventy mile per hour freeway zone because it is worth it.

According to her, it's an underground band. You have to get a recommendation to even get an invitation to get an invitation to a party where they tell you the actual concert is at. (It has to be some conspiracy theory, he thinks.) The whole mumbo jumbo is complicated, but he doesn't even dare to ask. (She somehow got in, from a recommendation from a friend.)

It's in a garage he wouldn't look twice at but once you open the doors the noise comes blasting through and he nearly thinks he's deaf. (Oh, come on! she would beckon... He's weak, okay?) She then would grab his hand and, as said before, drag him into the pit of sweaty, BO reeking teenagers.

The concert hasn't started yet, apparently. She just wanted to see the opening acts early. (This music is cleansing to the soul, she states.) Once the band Twilight finally manages to make it onto the stage, the crowd erupts into cheers and he thinks he's gone deaf twice.

He asks her a question over the incoherent screams, but he doesn't think she can hear him because soon she's jumping up and down to the beat of the indistinguishable music. Her body is swaying and her hips are going to some beat he can't seem to separate from all the other noise, but it doesn't seem to matter.

The music is starting to drown out of his ears, either from pure going deaf (you'll get used it, she promises) or from all of his attention being drawn to her. Everyone has the same amount of enthusiasm as her, sure. But there's no other sight like her. The pure zest and happiness radiating off of her makes his heart pound like a drum against his chest. Which is appropriate, he thinks, due to the heavy drums and loud guitar sounds during said concert.

"Enjoy it," he thinks he hears from her. So he does. He enjoys the sight of her drowning her soul into apparently meaningful words and heavy pounding of the drums. He definitely enjoys the sight.

(And he thinks he's in love.)

yearn; v
have an intense feeling of longing for something, typically something that one has lost or been separated from

She's going to Chicago for something or the other (to visit her father, god forbid) for a couple of days. He knows that this experience will be good for her, to finally confront and meet the man that had abandoned her oh so many years ago. (He's taking a course in Psychology, okay?) But he's just plain selfish, he thinks, because he doesn't want her to go without him.

"Psychology is a soft science," she would state while stuffing another one of her band shirts in her already overflowing suitcase. "I honestly don't even know why you're taking that course when you know that Anthropology is where it's at." (She's been watching a little too much Bones, he thinks.)

He chuckles and throws her deodorant at her, she might've forgotten it if he didn't. "I'm only taking that course because I have free time. Besides, I'll be able to tell when you're lying to me, which could be a plus."

She rolled her eyes and threw the deodorant back at his face, promising that she already packed herself deodorant—and he said that she'll probably lose it, so...

"Soft science!" she reprehended him for the umpteenth time that day. When she had finally managed to fit her last pair of pajamas in her bulging suitcase, she took a moment to look at her watch (something that Lucas got her because it's so annoying when she asks for the time, over and over and over again...) to see when Riley and Farkle would come over to bid their goodbyes.

He dragged her suitcase to the front door and checked the time himself to see when they were coming. Another five minutes until they were supposed to be there.

"You're supposed to be an English major," he reminded her with a tsk of his tongue.

She quickly threw her hair up into a ponytail before answering. "I'm an English major so I can teach Immigrants how to speak properly so it's easier to get a job and communicate to people. What I'm majoring in actually benefits people, contrast to you."

He laughed and pulled her into a hug. "That was cold, Hart."

He could feel her shrug and she breathed in his scent, taking in what she can get before she left. Riley and Farkle wouldn't be there for another few minutes, so taking in Lucas' presence (even though they aren't dating!) is perfectly normal.

Her arms were wrapped around his torso and his head was burrowed in her neck before they had heard a familiar grunt coming from behind them. Their senses came back to them and they pulled away quickly before greeting their friends. They eventually made it out the door and to the airport before the three finally gave Maya their goodbyes.

Lucas pulled her in for a final hug before promising he's going to miss her (he will) and that he won't stop thinking about her while she's gone (that's true) and don't you dare not think about him.

Then, she's quickly engulfed into the sea of people scurrying around to get to their flight, and he can already tell that he's yearning for her.

xenodochial; adj
friendly to strangers

Riley definitely noticed something. They both think she doesn't notice, in fact, they don't even know it themselves. How could they? Even Maya's own best friend could barely notice anything. (If Riley were to tell Lucas anything about her suspicions, he would tell her (because he thinks he's the master of Psychology) that she's just being paranoid but she promises she's not. Not about this.)

It's not Maya's change of attitude, per se, but there are things (definitely him) that contribute to that fact. Sure, she's happier, but she's not dating Lucas. That much she knows, and she wishes they were. She knows that they aren't dating. It's a known fact because Maya would first ask Riley to make sure she's okay with it (because it's Lucas, for godsakes, the guy she liked forever) and then she would tell her that she's dating him, it's just the truth.

So, no, Maya is not dating Lucas.

But they do seem rather comfy with each other. There are indicating factors of course, Riley has actually picked up on quite a few things from Lucas' Psychology lessons (SOFT SCIENCE!, Maya would claim) and she was rather good, in perspective.

One; he's rubbing off on her.

There is no way in hell he can change her into a soft, loving person. No one can do that, even if they tried their hardest. Even if Maya had accepted their courtesy. It's what's written in her blood. She's the rude and crude mean girl, it's her personality. He didn't change her, he rubbed off on her.

She (accidentally) pushed a kid down in the halls who had this burning cup of coffee, and she apologized. Which is surprising. Her actually being kind? Sure, for her friends. She'd walk through hell and back for her friends; not normally for random acquaintances.

Two; they balance each other out.

He had threatened to punch out a kids molars (again, goddammit Lucas), so she went into action. She had this very fine skill that no other person in their friend group seemed to have, which was calming him down. The muscly big jock had a sweet spot, aw! (Everyone knew that it was Maya, even her... She denied it. Whatever.) Riley was just observing on the sidelines, making random mental notes of everything she was looking at and happened to noticed that Maya was literally jumping on Mr. Perfect's back.

There was another time where she was sloppily drunk and was spouting out random junk. She would have said something she probably regretted, but since Lucas decided to conveniently not drink, he took her home and somehow got her sobered up.

Three; xenodochial.

Big big indicator.

Even though Maya will never change, not for the world, he somehow got her to be nicer. Not big things, she still told out people that made fun of her friends and slapped people across the face from time to time, but she had managed to be nice to strangers. Caring, in fact. (Gave away most of her free money to charities for run away abuse survivors, her being one herself.)

Yes, Riley noticed something

wild; adj
uncontrolled or unrestrained, especially in pursuit of pleasure

Her smile is wide and aspirations are big. She pulls him into some weird hooker 24 hour club, and suddenly he's drawn into the plethora of horny teenagers and awkward conversations; something he's all too familiar with.

She has a knack for getting rather drunk rather quickly (it's called being a light weight but she refuses to be called that...) and it's quite concerning, but she promises that she'll be finefinefine.

They're only a few hours in (why didn't she invite Riley?!) and he's standing alone and awkward off to the side, watching everyone have fun. He asked her earlier about not inviting Riley and her only response was, "You need to loosen up."

He supposed she was right.

She somehow gulped down another shot, seemingly being completely unfazed with a cool expression. However, he knows her. Inside, she is most likely jumping up and down. She's a little more than tipsy and he's a little more in love.

People seem to be familiar with her in the 24 hour hooker bar. They call her "crazy lady", or something along those lines. He can see how she got that nickname. Even though she can get tipsy quickly, she can also hold down a little too much of alcohol.

She's wild, he thinks.

She somehow seems to get that he's uncomfortable and beckons him to the dance floor. She promises that it will be so much fun, nothing like last time (they don't talk about it) and that he won't regret it.

The two somehow got alcohol into his system (how are they going to get home... yeesh) and soon enough his body is against hers and he's got this raging boner (he thinks, he can't really seem to think coherent thoughts) from her grinding her ass up against his sensitive area... shit, he thinks.

It's his breath that is breathing down her shoulder and she shivers in delight... god, going to far, is his next thought.

And he's probably right.

He's a little more sober than her, somehow, so he finally gets her off the floor and they decide to walk home. Not in their current condition could they even think about driving. They'll just pick up the car later.

She's so drunk; she's so wild.

Just how he likes her.

vulnerable; adj
susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm

He doesn't really think much of it. Not really, at least. He's not that good at noticing things—not like her, not like Riley. So, it was rather much of a surprise when he started to notice the little things. He always did, of course; the way she smiles, the crease under her brow when she's confused—things like that. Things more under the category of tired eyes and sad faces.

He thinks he should have noticed earlier. He's taking a Psychology course, for godsakes (soft science, she would say) so it should have been easy to spot. He's not that perceptive, he thinks.

It starts at lunch one day. They normally go to the college food court together with the other two (Riley happened not to make it) for lunch. She had simply refused to go. He, of course, thought it was odd but he had just decided to sit with Farkle and Zay while she sorted out whatever was bothering her.

The next big indicator was the lack of soberness. Sure, she liked to get drunk. Every weekend, in fact. She went with him most of the time, really. So when she came back to her dorm with glazed eyes and confused words, he was concerned. She never goes out during a school week, it's not like her.

Maybe it was just a party (stupid stupid Lucas Friar).

Lastly, she had started to miss class and canceled on when they were supposed to be hanging out. Sure, she was Maya Hart—the girl who never took anything seriously. But the Maya Hart that hated school and never tried at anything was given up in the ninth grade. She knew she would get nowhere in life if she didn't try, so she she did just that—try. (Sure, she's canceled their plans to go on dates with other men, she always gave explanations, but not as of late.)

He's worried, and one night, he goes to her dorm (Darby isn't there for some reason) where boys aren't allowed. The soft knock doesn't wake her up, considering the fact that she's already up. She crept to up to the eye hole and saw that Lucas was there.

She invites him in, and they have a lengthy conversation on how she isn't acting different before they finally get to the point where she opens up to him.

Her breaths are shallow and scarce and he thinks that she's having a panic attack (she might be) and he doesn't know what to do so he places his arm around her shoulders and draws aimless shapes on her silky smooth skin to sooth her. He knows she doesn't like opening up to people, she thinks it makes her vulnerable.

He gets most of what she says. Her words are sparse and random, not making much sense unless you're paying attention closely. She explains to him that something happened with her boyfriend. Nothing too big, she promises. Just a couple of punches were thrown around.

And, god, he suddenly notices the peeking bruise coming from under her makeup. She tries to explain to him that Jeffery Connors is a good kid, he was just angry, but all of her words are lost in the sobs. Her body is wracked up in tears, and soon her tears are filling up Lucas' shirt. She's says she used to it.

He soothes her, promises her that she's not vulnerable. That's she's not weak. You're strong, he says.

She promises that she will break up with Jeffery Connors the next day, but she makes him sleep with her in her dorm room (strictly prohibited, whatever) so she won't feel scared.

She never sees Jeffery Connors again. He's kicked off the campus ground for some anonymous reason (thank you Lucas Friar) and his contact is completely erased from her phone. It's like he never existed.

undecennial; adj
occurring or observed every eleventh year

It's an undeccenial carnival, she states. Something that only comes once every eleven years, so they better go now. She's only been once in her whole youth. Sometime during her childhood, and she promises that the experience will most definitely be worth it.

He agrees to come, which he ultimately regrets the moment he gets there. He swore his motion sickness left him when he was a child, but apparently he was wrong. On top of that, the ground seemed to be a magnet for moldy corn dogs and vomit.

He wouldn't tell her that, though. She was enjoying herself and he wouldn't take that away from her.

Riley went with her when they were in her youth, and she absolutely hated it—so she refused to go; he could see why. Riley also had a knack for getting rather motion sick, much like himself; much worse, however.

The first ride they went on was called "Cannibal" which is just as bad as the name suggests. His crippling anxiety came in when they first got on the ride, but Maya had promised that it wasn't that bad. He didn't know what constituted to be bad (or merely awful) on her scales, but it definitely exceeded his scales.

She felt a little bad for him after their third round on the ride "Wicked", so she approved of his constant request for a break. They had decided to get some delicious corn dogs (as seen on the ground, previously; these seemed to be in much better state) and to sit down.

He had nearly begged for the two to go on a simple ride, one that didn't involve much motion. She had agreed, actually feeling bad for the poor Cowboy that had crippling motion sickness (why hadn't he told her, Jesus...).

They finally made their way to the front of the Ferris Wheel line before Lucas realized he's absolutely afraid of falling and dying off of Ferris Wheels. Just Ferris Wheels, nothing else. He hated the movies where the Ferris Wheel turned into a gigantic wheel and rolled around the state.

It's not that bad, Maya cooed. Come on, stop being a pansy, Maya beckoned. Well, shit, Lucas thought, I can't really get past that argument. So he did.

And, god forbid, the Ferris Wheel had happened to malfunction while they were on the very top, and out of all people?! Wouldn't God like to torture another soul, instead of his (nearly) innocent and clear soul (he had repented...).

Maya was attempting to keep in her giggles in response to Lucas' face when he realized they were stuck on the top.

After a few minutes of laughter, she finally had collected herself and sat next to him in attempt to calm him down. She had placed her hand on his back and held his hand, a completely normal and platonic thing to do. As a friend, of course.

He was so distracted by the mere thought of Maya holding his hand and touching him, that he had completely lost all of his peripheral vision and utter awareness that he hadn't realized their cart finally touched the ground.

"See," Maya would then say, "it wasn't so bad."

She hopped off the cart and ran to the bathroom to drain some of her fluids that were being held up from her Gigantic Coke she drank earlier.

And then a thought ran across his brain:

Well, shit.

(And he knows he's in love.)

tranquility; n
the quality or state of being tranquil; calm

She's got a reason to be tired, he thinks. Perfectly acceptable in this case, after a long day of testing and finals (which he has tomorrow, dear lord...) there is no reason why she shouldn't be tired, however, there is a reason why she shouldn't be insisting to sleep in his bed. Her claim and reasoning is that the boy's dorms beds are so much more comfy than the girl's dorms beds and she really really needs the sleep. (He doesn't tell her that he has finals tomorrow, but whatever.)

After a quick banter between the two, he had finally agreed that sure, she can sleep in his bed. Her claiming in the beds being more comfortable wasn't true at all, the beds felt the exact same from his personal experience (nothing too scandalous, god only knows, he had to sleep at Maya's a couple of times for some weird reasons... he doesn't remember much) so there isn't any reason why she shouldn't be sleeping in her own bed.

He knows the reason why, deep deep down. And so does she. They just don't want to admit it.

She makes him tuck her in, claiming that his tucking in powers have some sorting of soothing agent that helps her go to sleep. Which is completely illogical, in this case, but he lets her babble on about conspiracy theories and whatever will please her.

And, somehow, he ends up in bed with her. She whined about how she couldn't go to bed unless he knew that he was on a comfortable bed (Zay was out of town for some weird Museum tour thing and Zay made Lucas promise not to sleep on his bed) because (somehow) she had found out that he had finals but he doesn't ask.

And in five minutes flat, she's out like a light. She's got a cute little snore; something that isn't audible unless it's completely dead silent. Almost like a baby pig, he thinks. He wouldn't tell her that, though. She would slap him with a knife.

He can't go to sleep for some reason, so he stays up watching her. Taking in the contours of her face, breathing in her scent because he doesn't think he'll ever get the opportunity again.

She's in a state of total calm and tranquility, he thinks. He's been over to her dorm when she's had nightmares, being there to help sooth her nerves. He had never seen her sleep like that, likely due to the strenuous hours she put into studying and the stress of the finals to make her sleep so deep.

Eventually, he falls asleep.

And the two wake up to their limbs tangled together and their breaths breathing in the same air.

supernatural; adj
(of a manifestation or event) attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature

He really doesn't understand how a person can be so beautiful and perfect and all around wonderful. He thinks of it as supernatural, really. The sheer likeness of her is overall overwhelming, and he doesn't know if she's the one for him.

She's got a quick mind and a fast tongue; everything his Mama wouldn't approve of.

Except when he thinks about it like that, he knows that she's the one for him.

He notices it one day, the undying love that fills his system to where he can barely comprehend simple sentences because he doesn't get how he can love one girl so much but here he is, loving her like he hasn't loved anyone before. It's as if all of his love was saved up for her and now it's suddenly being released into a whirl of emotions and he almost cries for some reason, but they're not even dating.

Shit. Whatever.

The thought dawns onto him when the two are at Topanga's. She's painting a picture of a little boy she saw at the market earlier that day and he's just sitting there doing nothing—except for the fact that he's literally just staring at her.

She doesn't notice.

Her hair is up in a loose fitted bun while she's wearing a pair of sweat pants and a paint covered T shirt. She's got a long paint trail going from her temple down to her cheek bone. Her eyes are wide in anticipation for what she's painting and her mouth is slightly open.

And he thinks he could kiss her.

He finds her so goddamn alluring, and she needs to stop if she doesn't want him to pursue a relationship of the two. Which he won't, he knows she doesn't want him to. In the best interest of the two, he should find a nice little lady and pursue a serious relationship of them instead of pining over someone he can't have.

She's done with the painting, and he's impressed. By the far one of the best things she had painted so far. It was a nearly accurate portrait of the little boy she saw at the market.

She whines about how she's cold but he doesn't have a jacket so he gives her his shirt (the bakery is closed, dear lord) but she still claims that she's cold and he can't do anything but give her his pants which he is not going to do because the area of shivers only seems to be her arms unless she wants to put his pant legs on her arms... awkward.

Her body is lied out on the couch in which he joins, spreading out his body on top of hers in attempt to keep her warm.

She makes an inaudible laugh as he starts to complain how he's cold (he's not really) so she throws her arms around his torso. He's sort of nearly crushing her with his body, but she doesn't care much. With his naked torso on top of her covered one with his shirt, she thinks that it couldn't get better.

The two are perfectly platonic and normal friends, which is all they'll ever be.

Farkle nearly faints when he walks in the bakery thinking he's seeing something he's not.

And she's oh so enticing and he's oh so turned on.

Dear God, he thinks.

He's already too far in.

risk-taking; n
the act or fact of doing something that involves danger or risk in order to achieve a goal

Not only did they get arrested, but they also didn't have enough money to bail out. They absolutely wouldn't call Riley, who would give them a forty minute I told you so! speech which they weren't mentally prepared for, and they didn't think they would ever be.

Lucas Friar wasn't really the adventurous type, not since he got to New York. So when she had insisted that he—for fucking once—do something rebellious, he had agreed. Do something that involves the act of risk-taking. Something that isn't Lucas Friarish.

God, he agreed because he's in love with her. But he wouldn't tell her that.

It was stupid. Really stupid. Something so stupid the punishment shouldn't have even constituted in jail. She was just warming him up for the big stuff before they got arrested already while they were egging someone's house.

Just their luck.

She had brought quite a few eggs and Lucas Friar was eccentric, excited. He had given up his rebellious days back in Texas, so when Maya Hart had threatened to expose him to the ideals of rebellion, it was too good of an offer to say no. He nearly missed the idea of being a delinquent; something he wouldn't go back to, of course. Just the act of being a rebel was exhilarating, he thinks. It's nice to not follow the rules once in awhile.

He had no idea who's house they were at, some ex-boyfriend of Riley's or something of the other. Riley had begged for them not to go, saying it was none of their business to go egg a man that broke her heart, which justified Maya's reasoning to egg him even more.

Riley knew that there was no way she would get to Maya, so her best idea of defense was not to go with them—and if they get caught, so be it. It'll be their own faults, anyway. And when they call for bail (Lucas promised there would be no need for bail because they would not get caught, what a bunch of loaded shit) she would be giving them a lecture about how stupid they were.

It was only after the third egg they got caught. They couldn't even have a full experience of egging someone's house before they were taken into custody.

"This," Lucas said, straining against his cuffs that pushed against his skin, "is why I don't like risk-taking. We literally were just put into jail."

Out of all the times she had been egging, she just had to get caught with Lucas when she was attempting to break him in. Well, fuck, was her first thought.

"I suppose we'll just call Riley," he muttered.

Maya quickly argued that Riley would just say I told you so and she was not prepared for another one of her lectures. And he shouldn't be either. They'll pay the time and get it over with.

The time was a week in the county jail, during finals week. Lucas Friar hated his life.

"Fine, fine, I'll call up Zay so you won't miss your Psychology final."

Maya had almost felt bad for Lucas but then she remembered that getting arrested was a primary ingredient into turning into a bad ass rebel, which Lucas declined to be called. Ah, whatever. Let him be called what he wants, but he still needs to learn how to do a little pranking from time to time.

When Zay came, the two were exchanging giggles and her head was lied out on his shoulder.

Should he keep them be?

That'd be rude. But still, Lucas is getting the stuff.

Zay was two hours late for some reason, but Lucas and Maya never seemed to find out.

And, shit, Riley found out anyway.

quiddity; n
the inherent nature or essence of someone or something

She's so sick, sick to the point he should probably be taking her to a medical hospital. So sick he has the decency to call her mom to come and see her. Which he doesn't do either, because Maya insists that she's finefinefine and that there is no need for melodramatics. Her temperature is 106, so no, he's not overreacting.

She states that he is.

Hell...

He's never really seen her like this. So vulnerable and meek and small. Sure, he's seen her cry into his shoulders about a break up and cry about her absentee father, but she's not even crying; she's just doing.

She's tired and snappy and makes him do everything to her bidding because she's sick.. Which he claims if she was that sick (which she is) that she would need to go the hospital but for some reason she's absolutely terrified of hospitals so he doesn't push.

And he thinks this is the first time he's seen her for purely who she is; not just a brokenhearted girl from New York who's got a dream to change the world with her art. She's just Maya Hart, and he thinks he's falling deeper in love with her and he doesn't even know how.

It's her quiddity, is his first thought.

He takes her to the hospital anyway, against her orders because he knows that he's in the right this time, and he's spewing out old jokes he told her in the seventh grade and she's laughing. For once about his old crappy jokes, and she lets it spill that she does think he's funny but then she threatens him if he tells anyone what she had just said...

She's singing to an old Christmas Carol and it's almost summer so he doesn't understand, but he sings along with her to keep her content. Her thoughts are wild and crazy and she's actually allowing herself to open up. It's a rare opportunity, he thinks. He knows that she's aware of what she's doing, merely using the excuse of being sick to excuse her actions.

She talks about her dad to him. And he thinks he's honored. She's brought up the subject quite a few times, but the conversation would then be shot down as quickly as it was brought up. She babbles on in depth how her father used to be a good man but he left her and she doesn't know why and she tries so hard for him and she doesn't get it. Her conversation goes in how he used to abuse her, something she never talks about. Not even to Riley.

He doesn't speak for the whole car ride, just lets her babble on to conversation to conversation about college and how she's doing (and he knows everything because they go to the same college) and how her boyfriend (ew...) is out of town probably doing something she disapproves of and she states how that moment right then and there would probably be the only moment in her life how she didn't feel pressured and how she opened up.

She also thanks him for sparing his dream college to go with her. The two don't talk about that much. Lucas had been accepted into Columbia (along with Riley and Farkle) while Maya was left in the dirt to go to NYU. It was a good college, sure, but not Columbia. She wouldn't make her friends give up the college they had been looking forward to their whole lives just to accompany her at NYU. She would never forgive herself.

Lucas was different. There wasn't a choice for him, it was either black or white. Either go to college with Maya or don't go at all. Columbia and NYU were close enough, so there wouldn't really be anything long distance (not that they're dating or anything!) but it was as clear as crystal to him. Maya needed someone she knew at her college, and Farkle and Riley needed each other. Riley would have given up her spot in Columbia to accompany Maya, but she wouldn't let her. She also wouldn't let Lucas but he refused to let her go.

And, lucky thing too he decided to go with her. Who else would drive her to an ice cream parlor at three in the morning or drive her to a hospital because she's too busy to even take care of herself? Probably not herself, at least.

pacificate; v
to give peace to

Her heart is swollen and numb and he doesn't think he's ever seen her like this. In a state of total anger and sadness that she can barely even mumble out coherent words and he can't do anything but comfort.

Gammy Hart died.

And he really wouldn't know what it feels like to lose a loved one. His grandparents all died before he was at the age of one, so he's not really experienced in the field of comforting people over their lost loved ones. And he really wants to comfort Maya, he just doesn't know how.

It was a small ceremony, not many people were invited. Just the essentials: Katy Hart, Riley's whole family, himself, Farkle, Zay, herself, and Shawn Hunter. That was just about it. And a few friends Gammy Hart had known in her earlier years, but that concluded the whole congregation.

Maya was yelling a string of profanities and cursing the Lord. She asked him why, out of all people he decided to take away, it had to be her Grandma? The one who comforted her when her Mom was gone on long work days or when her father abused her or when he left their family. Why the one person who made her a better?

She was in a long black silky dress that showed the despair she was feeling. Her hair was in a messy bun that framed her face and the mascara stains down her cheeks left marks as if she were dead, herself.

She cries into his shoulder about Gammy, cursing various people (including himself), and swearing at the world. She hates God, she hates him, she hates herself. She doesn't understand why, and she doesn't think she'll ever be able to forgive God for something like this, if she even believed in a God.

Riley successfully comforts her. No one is really out of it besides her, no one really loved Gammy Hart like she did. Her breaths are shallow and rapid and he almost thinks she would combust under all that pressure she was holding in and she's suddenly letting everything out. Everything she had managed to bottle up inside of her (except for that one night when she talked about her abusive boyfriend to him) for the entirety of her life was spilling out like a tsunami.

Gammy Hart dying was her breaking point.

Something inside of him clicks and he sits next to her while Riley's off to the bathroom and places his arms around her, beckoning for her to put her head on his shoulder. His only words are this: tell me.

And she knows what he's talking about even if he doesn't even know, and everything that has ever bothered her comes out and she can barely even speak but the sobs are coming out and she's so mad at the fucking universe her mind can't even comprehend the fact that the most attractive guy in her university was holding her in his arms and soothing her like there was no tomorrow.

And he says something she really needed to hear. "She's at peace, you know? Gammy Hart, I mean," his soothing voice rings through her ears as she finally gains some self control with her emotions. Her breaths are starting to become even and she almost feels tired from her big sob fest. "And, I bet that if there is a God and if there are angels, she's up there—looking down at you and promising that you can move on."

"I'm an Atheist," was her response.

"Gammy Hart loves you, and nothing is going to change that."

Something she really needed to hear. She's glad she's got Lucas.

And Farkle smiles knowingly.

oblivious; adj
not aware of or not concerned about what is happening around one

First things first, Farkle Minkus is an idiot. Well, he thinks so anyway. Because anyone with the right of mind would be able to notice the chemistry and attraction radiating off of Lucas and Maya, but him being the idiot he was, he didn't notice.

He's oblivious, was more like it. He knows that Riley sure as hell noticed the attraction between the two. It's who Riley is, the observant one. And so is Maya, of course. Besides her own oblivion towards Lucas being in love with her, but he didn't notice either, so he shouldn't really be talking.

Not so smart, he thinks.

The first big indicator was when three out of the four got accepted into Columbia with those fancy academic scholarships. Farkle was excited, he had also gotten accepted into various other universities but ultimately decided to stay local. Riley was accepting the scholarship too, before she even realized that Maya didn't get accepted into Columbia.

Maya had insisted that the three use their scholarships and she's local so they'll be able to talk and hang out! NYU wasn't that far away from Columbia, anyway. Just six miles, that's all.

Lucas refused to let her go alone, which should have been a big clue but Farkle's stupid and oblivious, so he didn't really notice.

And god, Farkle being the oblivious idiot he was didn't even seem to notice the second indicator.

It was winter in the middle of their first college year. The two had spent a lot of time together, more than they had ever before. It was more just the two of them rather than the five of them (consisting of Riley, Farkle, Lucas, Maya, and Zay) even though Zay also went to NYU. So when she had forgotten her gloves when the five went to the park, he scolded her and told her that he reminded her to bring gloves.

So, in attempt of keeping her small hands from getting frostbite, he laced his fingers with hers. The idea and process was ultimately a success. Riley was starting to notice something, of course; being the observant little person she was, but Farkle was so so stupid.

The third indicator was like an explosion, but Farkle merely refused to notice. Ah, god. The two were much more comfortable around each other than they had ever been before, due to the fact that they were around each other all the time. She spent just as much time with Lucas as she did with Riley, most likely more.

Which, of course, was saying something.

And he nearly spent all of his time with her.

It was winter, once again, and Lucas claimed to be cold. Probably just a scam to get her attention, would be Farkle's first thought if he had realized that he was in love with her earlier. Which he didn't. She responded in enveloping him in a hug, her arms squeezing around his torso. Her short height put her under his chin.

The two seemed to like that position and stayed in it in the entirety of the time they spent at the park. When they walked home, Lucas offered to walk her to her dorm (which was quite a lengthy walk back to his dorm); his arms were draped around her shoulders and the two were giggling at something that Farkle didn't seem to understand. Sure, he knew that Zay and Riley were involved with each other, but he didn't even process the idea of Maya and Lucas being together. Which they weren't, of course. But they hadn't officially addressed their relationship, and if anything, he was her boyfriend.

But he wasn't really.

The fourth clue was a no brainer to even the simple minded first graders, and Farkle Minkus didn't understand how he didn't see it before. They were at Topanga's, just Lucas and Maya. She was working on some art project in the middle of the night and she needed Lucas to be there. (That was her reasoning, at least.)

So when he had walked in on Lucas' shirtless body splayed out on top her covered one (with his shirt!), he thought nothing of it. Except that maybe they were having sex (which they weren't!) but the thought quickly dismissed his mind as he thought the two were clearly platonic and normal friends.

The fifth clue wasn't even that big, really. It was like after everything, after all the big things, he finally noticed the smallest thing and he suddenly understood.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around his torso as he attempted to sooth her down at the funeral of Gammy Hart. Her body was shaking in sobs and he's whispering soothing words into her hair. And, somehow, she calms down enough to release herself from their hug and look up at him with a pained smile. He smiles down at her like she's the manifestation of perfection and suddenly Farkle Minkus actually gets it.

The only person who's just as oblivious as him is Maya Hart.

nirvana; n
a state of perfect happiness; an ideal or idyllic place

She accidentally bought two tickets to go to an art show, where she was supposed to buy one. And, was her reasoning, it's the art show. The one where you meet with people and introduce yourself—and maybe, just maybe you'll get recognized and you could be on your way to fame. So, she said. We have to go. She was getting featured. He was going to go anyway, if he had known earlier.

So when she handed him the blue ticket that had one of Van Gogh's paintings on it, he had to accept. If it's what made her happy, it's what made him happy.

When the two came into the show, her eyes lit up with a kind of fierce that he had never seen in her before. She started naming off random local artists that got their art featured in there and she was oh so excited about how there was going to be this world renowned critic that she might be able to talk to and she might get recognized.

Shit, she was excited.

Her feet managed to wander over to her art piece. It looked random and uncertain, but if you knew Maya personally (or you knew art like the back of your hand), you knew there was a story behind it. Mostly, her pieces were happy and upbeat. Something in contrast to her feelings, she had stated once. Something to bring the mood up.

This one was quite different. It was covered in glass shards from a broken beer bottle with a purple background. In the back was a young girl praying on her bed.

And, at first glance, you knew she was talking about her abusive father.

Despite her dreary art piece, she was upbeat and happy. And he was glad. He had never seen her like that. In a state of total content and happiness. She must be at home, he thinks.

Nirvana.

He could tell whom the critic was apart from everyone else. She blended in just fine, but her tight skirt and pinned up hair gave her away and he could suddenly see Maya getting nervous. Before he left her be (because she had requested it when the critic came up to her piece) he gave her a soft touch on the back, which nearly calmed her nerves.

He was off observing other pieces when his attention gained back towards Maya. Her hands were clasped together tightly behind her back and she was explaining the origin and tenderness of her piece.

Her eyes lit up as the critic muttered a few words to her and left off to the other pieces in the show.

The two wandered among other art pieces. When he didn't understand something that was being represented in other art pieces, she explained it to him. How provocative it is and the reason of painting the piece. There was always a reason why someone painted something; like how she had painted her piece. If you knew art, you knew what her past was like. It's a way of expressing your feelings bottled up inside of you, was her reasoning. Like screaming into a pillow.

And, god, when he saw her light up every time she saw something she liked, he knew that loving her was just the beginning.

i'm only posting half of this because it's way way long and i asked a few people on tumblr if i should do so and they said i should because i'd be leaving you guys on a cliff hanger (not really) and it'd be easier to read.

thanks for reading! i'm working on the second part but please fave and review! that'd encourage me to write more lmao

PS; i KNOW this goes from past tense to present tense so much and I'M SORRY