AN: My first fanfic of Criminal Minds. I was inspired reading some works klcm and I was listening to dragon that's what you wanted and someone like you. Hope you like.

Never Should Have

It was a rough case, more rough than others, and we sought out comfort in each other. It was lonely, desperate and rushed. We went back to my place for a nightcap and to talk. Though, as soon as I opened my apartment door, our lips connected. We didn't speak or stop our hands and tongues from roaming freely on each other's bodies. I remember thinking this is crazy, but I did nothing to stop it from furthering. We never made it to my bed. There on my couch, we smacked lips and grabbed asses; his hands on my breast and nipping my neck and I lost it. I moaned and I heard him grunt. Then it was back to silence, trying our hardest to keep the silence, as if to allow each other to believe if we didn't make a sound- then it wasn't real. We could live in the fantasy, that this was a dream. An alternative reality from our own. Once we both released the tension and images of our day, in pleasure. We looked at one another, speaking without words that this was it: a release and nothing more. He got dressed and left. As soon as he walked out, I ran myself a bath. I wanted to forget that we just crossed that line. My mind telling me it can be easily forgotten. Oh my mind, was such a fool! My heart knew all along; it was never going to be the same. Ohh why didn't I listen!

We saw each other at work the next day; and it was as if nothing happened. We were our old selves. I felt so relieved, glad that this didn't come between us. I had hope that we were gonna be okay. Then, like a tornado, we allowed a case to get to us. It took us to a place, I thought we had passed and long forgotten. It had been 3 months since then. I was wrong, when he came to my office, I saw the look of defeat. A look I never thought I'd see again.

"Hey babygirl" he uttered looking down. Like a hero who lost his will to fight. In that moment, I knew I was in trouble. Though, I was determined to fight it this time.

"Derek...I know...I'll call Savannah, to come and get you, so that you guys can have some time together and talk. I gotta get going..." I spoke so fast as a defense, so we can stop this. I grabbed my purse and phone ready to dial savannah, then he grabbed my phone from my hand.

"No. I don't want to talk..." He said looking at me, eyes full of rage, lust and of course the need for a distraction. A distraction from talking about what's bothering him. His way of dealing with the horrors that came with the job. She stared at him with doe-like eyes, unable to form words. All that she can croak out was pitiful whisper, "Derek, we can't. It's wrong. You have Savannah and I have Sam." He moved closer to me, that I didn't even notice till I felt his hot breathe on my neck. I felt the feathery kisses as they moved from my neck, to cheek, and then he stopped by my lips and gave me the look seeking approval. I gulped and he knew, that was it. Our lips touched and it was like a course of electricity shot through my near paralyzed state. I kissed back bring my hand up to the back of his head and I lost it, yet again.

We didn't even make it out of the parking lot. There in his SUV, we gave each other our bodies and worries. We soothed each other's wound, and just laid intertwined in each other's arms. We didn't even notice the time. We shot up to get ready when savannah called. Before he answered, I jumped out and ran to my car.

He ran after me and again didn't say anything but ...babygirl... I nodded, I'm okay and drove out of the parking lot as fast as I could.