Look Closer (Can't You See the Signs?)

When Jesse breaks up with her over Winter break at his family's cabin in Colorado, she's incredibly hurt—she actually loves the kid, stupid as he can be sometimes—and for Beca Mitchell? Well, love doesn't come easily. Let alone admitting it.

He's incredibly sweet about it, though, as far as break ups go. And it's not like she doesn't "get it," you know? She never had huge expectations for their relationship. The fact that it lasted as long as it did was kind of a miracle, but she can probably credit her affiliation with the Bellas as part of the reason why.

Being around those girls, working with them, essentially creating a family of sorts… Beca learned a lot about herself and how to express using her words instead of just closing up and storming off. Jesse happened to benefit from that, and along the way, Beca let herself be open to love and all its experiences.

But she gets it. College relationships aren't always meant to last, especially when one half of the pair is moving across the country to pursue a dream film scoring career after graduation and the other is likely staying put—pursuing her own dream. Long distance is hard, damn near impossible, and as much as Beca has grown as a person in her time at Barden, she's still a lazy little shit about a lot of things. Trying to keep a relationship alive and healthy when the other person isn't even around and she's got a billion other things to worry about? Yeah, good luck with that.

So she kisses him goodbye and they promise to stay close friends and she flies back to Atlanta early.

Chloe picks her up from the airport, no questions asked, and has her favorite drink from the coffee shop just off campus waiting for her in the car.

The Bella house is eerily quiet when they get back, all the girls off to their various locales for break.

Chloe parks Beca's large bag next to the staircase, then takes Beca's hand and leads her upstairs to Chloe's room.

Beca breaks down about 10 minutes into their talk and Chloe, who hasn't let go of Beca's had since they came upstairs, wraps her in a hug.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," Beca says with a roll of her eyes as she pulls back from the hug.

Chloe smiles sympathetically and gently wipes away some of Beca's tears.

"He was your first really serious relationship," she shrugs and offers Beca a Kleenex. "He represents a pretty significant point in your life."

"I guess," Beca sniffles and blows her nose into the tissue. "It was inevitable, right?"

Chloe opens her mouth, but then seems to change her mind, which is odd, even for her.

"What?" Beca quickly calls her out on it. "What was that look for?"

"I just-" Chloe shakes her head. "Can I be honest?"

"Are we ever anything but?"

Beca slaps herself mentally because, yeah, they are. Or she is, anyway. She's been lying to pretty much everyone since the beginning of the semester about her internship.

"Ok. Don't take this the wrong way, but… I'm surprised you and Jesse made it as long as you did."

"Gee, how could I take that the wrong way?" Beca barks out a sad laugh and moves to stand up.

"Hey," Chloe stops her by pulling on her hand to tug her back down to the floor where they've been talking. "That's not a dig at you or at Jesse, ok? I just meant that you guys…I don't know. You never really seemed 'right' together, like you were more suited to being best friends instead of a couple."

Beca considers this, and she can't really argue or defend herself.

"But what do I know, right?" Chloe continues.

"You're not exactly wrong," Beca sighs in return. "But I don't know if you're right, either." She grumbles as she stands and paces in front of Chloe, who watches her carefully, tossing the thought around in her head a little more. "I don't know, I don't want to think about it. It's done, we're done. That's it."

"Well hey," Chloe weighs her next words calculatedly. "You're more in tune to what you want out of a relationship, right? So you're better prepared for next time! That lucky person could be right around the corner."

"Ever the optimist, Chloe," Beca chuckles. "No more relationships, not right now, anyway. I've got too much on my plate with everything…"

Beca's phone cuts off her thought.

"I have to take this," she says apologetically to Chloe. "Want to work on the World's set with me later?"

Chloe smiles and nods, a little sadly, as Beca quickly ducks out of her room.

Not even a second later, Beca pops her head back in and softly thanks her for being there; for everything she does.

"That's what friends are for, Beca."

*/*

They get through their final semester just as they start—together.

After the retreat, all of the Bellas—but especially Beca—rally together to make sure Chloe will absolutely pass Russian Lit. She doesn't really need the help, but it's nice to be doted on after all the anxiety and stress she's put on herself all year.

There are long, late nights spent in both Chloe's room and Beca and Amy's room studying and working on the World's setlist. Oftentimes, they end up falling asleep in the same bed.

Beca sometimes wakes in the wee hours of the morning to find Chloe pressed up against her back, her arm firmly around Beca's midsection. Other mornings, Chloe will be lying on her back with Beca's arm around her midsection and her head on Chloe's chest.

With her rather large crush on Das Sound Machine's female lead wreaking havoc on her psyche—she comes to a decision that she's just not going to put a label on it right now; the fact that she is sexually attracted to guys and girls is more than enough—and libido pretty much all year, Beca has been even more awkward and uncomfortable in the physical contact department. She's always been different with Chloe, though—as if she had a choice, since Chloe has no sense of boundaries, especially around Beca. So when she wakes up in such positions, she doesn't think much of it. Why risk waking Chloe when Beca knows for a fact that she hasn't been sleeping well all year?

It does weird her out a bit, though, when Amy calls Chloe her wife. They're just close friends…who sometimes argue like an old married couple. Stacie had once walked in on them bickering and immediately turned back around and announced to the rest of the girls—

"Mom and Dad are fighting again!"

But she shakes it off. Because she loves them all, and sometimes she does feel like a mom trying to wrangle and corral the girls to where they need to be.

Besides, Chloe is really the perfect height for Beca to spoon with…

Anyway.

They get through the semester and they graduate.

They go to World's and they, in a shock to everyone, dominate.

Chloe crams for and passes her teaching certifications on the first try and happily accepts a job as the music teacher for several elementary schools in the Atlanta area. It involves a lot of travel for not much pay, but for now that's ok.

"The real reward is making a difference in the kids' lives," she says with a beaming smile.

Beca's boss is so impressed by her work on "Flashlight," he offers her an apprenticeship of sorts in Artist Development, just to get her feet wet—Beca even plucks up enough confidence to negotiate a weekly meeting with him so he can mentor her closely—and they sign Emily to a developmental deal at Residual Heat just before the fall semester starts.

Beca and Chloe get an apartment together in a nicer neighborhood, thanks to Beca's dad, who's ecstatic that she'll be close by instead of moving to Los Angeles like she'd talked about for so long. He makes them promise to come by at least once a week for dinner, any night they want.

They find their version of a routine—Beca's hours aren't exactly 9 to 5—and things run smoothly. Until Beca picks up on some things.

*/*

She and Chloe go out during the week, sometimes, when Beca's schedule allows it. They go for dinner or coffee, or to bars or clubs. They drink, they dance, and they have a great time.

Sometimes Chloe goes out alone.

The night Chloe brings a girl home Beca is surprised.

She's in the kitchen, about to fix herself a late night sundae—it's Saturday and she just spent the majority of it at the studio working with Emily; she's earned it, damn it—when the front door swings open and clatters loudly against the wall.

Chloe, drunk and giggly, shushes the door and pulls her equally as giddy companion into the apartment, shutting the door behind them. She spots Beca and gives her nothing more than a wink before they head for Chloe's bedroom.

Beca stands, flabbergasted, for a good 30 seconds before she shakes her head and puts the ice cream back in the freezer. She goes to her room and shuts the door, settling in for some much needed sleep.

Unfortunately, the moans from Chloe and her…gal pal carry through their shared wall, so she's awake for at least another 20 minutes.

She hears the front door open and close, and the dead bolt slip into place about an hour after Chloe initially stumbled in.

-\-

In the morning, Beca makes some toast and sets it on the breakfast bar next to the glass of ice water and two Excedrin she got out earlier and goes about pouring herself some coffee and a bowl of cereal. After so many years of knowing her, Beca can gauge when Chloe will have a hangover—it's not often, but with the right mix of alcohol, it hits her hard.

Chloe trudges out of her room as Beca returns the milk to the fridge and gratefully takes the Excedrin with a large swallow of water, plopping down on the bar stool. She rests her head on her left fist, picking up half a slice of toast and Beca sits next to her, mixing her Coco Puffs more evenly into the milk.

"So," Beca starts, not looking at her roommate. She sees her tense a little, and while she could be a huge ass about last night, she won't, because it's Chloe. "From the sound of it, I guess that experiment was a rousing success."

(Just because she won't be a huge ass doesn't mean she won't still be an ass to a lesser extent; it's Beca after all.)

She smirks around a spoonful of cereal and turns her head slightly to look Chloe in the eyes.

Chloe blushes a little, relieved that Beca isn't freaking out or making a bigger deal out of it.

"She was alright, I guess," Chloe says with a shrug, turning her attention back to her toast.

"Just alright?" Beca's eyebrows are quirked in disbelief.

"Yeah," she replies simply.

She finishes her toast and sets her plate in the sink, walking around back to Beca.

"She's not who I really want," Chloe says softly, then raises her voice to a normal volume. "Thanks for the toast!"

She gives Beca a peck on the cheek, grabs the water glass and heads to the shower, leaving Beca flummoxed.

*/*

That interaction starts the wheels turning in Beca's head. When she isn't thinking about work or work related things, she's thinking about Chloe related things.

The words she says. The sounds she apparently makes in bed. But mostly the words she says.

"She's not who I really want."

So Chloe's got someone in particular in mind…

If Beca's being objective, the girl Chloe brought home was pretty. She actually kind of reminds her of Stacie.

If she had to pick a Bella that was prettiest (other than Chloe) it would probably be Stacie. Maybe Jessica.

"If that's not her type, then…" Beca murmurs, lightly biting the cap of her pen that rests on her lip.

"What's that?" Emily chimes in from the other side of the table, still writing in her notebook.

They've been working for a couple of hours on different things—Emily's writing more lyrics, Beca's supposed to be reading through other songs she's finished and creating "first draft" arrangements. Obviously that's going really well.

Beca shakes her head dismissively, "Nothing. Just something Chloe said the other day."

"O-kay," Emily lifts her eyebrow and considers her next question carefully. "How's your love life?"

"Em, what?"

Emily sets her pen down and leans back in her chair.

"I just mean, you haven't been out with anyone since you and Jesse broke up, right? Maybe it's time to get back out there."

Beca stares dubiously at her; unsure of where this turn in conversation even came from. Then she considers the source and it doesn't seem all that out of the blue.

"You're always so focused on work. Which is, you know, great because 'yay!' to a good work ethic and getting career things done or whatever, but you have to have a life outside of here, too."

"Ok, you may have a point," Beca acquiesces and takes a sip of water.

Emily nods, her trademark grin spreading across her lips. "Ok! So focus on you for once and go out and have some fun! You're single and probably ready to mingle!"

It has been months…

-\-

Beca tags along with Chloe to a club that Friday night.

They dance a bit, here and there, Beca's inhibitions slowly melting away with each sip of whatever number drink she's on. It's hard to keep count when the drinks hit Beca pretty quickly, her tolerance having obviously lessened with all the time she's been spending being a freshly minted, legitimized responsible adult who doesn't go out and get drunk during the week.

Chloe's glass is almost empty, so she takes it upon herself to go get her a refill, advising her friend to stay on the dance floor to "save their spots." Because that is definitely a thing…she heard in a Will & Grace episode, once.

She orders Chloe's drink as well as another shot for herself. The bartender leaves the tiny glass in front of her and goes to fix Chloe's order and Beca's eyes drift back to the dance floor.

Chloe is still swaying to the music; the bass is heavy and her hands are running through her hair and along various parts of her body. Another girl slinks up to her from behind, putting one hand on Chloe's stomach so her back is to the random's front.

Beca's eye twitches and she takes her shot, slamming the glass down on the bar top hard. She gets up, a growl rising from the back of her throat, and walks towards them. Her blood is pumping as quickly as her heart, the rhythm of which seems to match the beat of the song that has just started.

This is where things get choppy.

She remembers suddenly standing over the random that was dancing with Chloe, her fists balled tightly and her eyebrows knitted in anger.

She remembers being outside of the club, Chloe dragging her home by her hand and scolding her for shoving said random and getting them kicked out.

After that, though, there's nothing.

So, when Beca builds up enough courage to drag her butt out of bed and face the humiliation, she's somewhat surprised that Chloe simply brings her a glass of water and sits down on the couch next to her.

It's nothing but silence for a little while, Beca sipping on her water.

"What was that last night, Beca?" Chloe asks, sounding as tired as Beca feels.

She squirms, suddenly uncomfortable.

"I- don't know," Beca lamely replies. Because, really, what was that? "I just got mad. I didn't like seeing another girl all over you like that."

Chloe's head swivels in Beca's direction.

"Why?"

Beca quietly debates the question for a long while, pensive lines digging their way into her skin.

Chloe sighs and stands when she realizes she won't be getting any sort of answer right now.

"When you figure it out, let me know."

They lock eyes briefly before Chloe leaves for the gym and that's when Beca hears it. A tiny click in the back of her mind, like the first few pieces of a puzzle have been locked into place.

*/*

It takes Beca nearly a week to figure it all out. She's never really been ~in tune with things like feelings, whether they be hers or other people's. If people are subtle with her, she will remain completely oblivious.

That was a good thing about Jesse, she thinks. He was very upfront.

So, ever the snail, Beca pieces it together.

While she's getting ready for work Monday morning, she realizes that, yeah, probably not a "normal" reaction to ultimately be ok when a strange, but pretty girl barges into your shower stall demanding you sing "lady jams" with them. Or to tell her that, yes, she should be confident about her body because it is…a very nice one.

Tuesday during a lunch meeting with several department heads and her boss, Beca realizes that, other than Jesse, her bond with Chloe is the deepest and strongest she's had in her life. And that she cares more about Chloe's opinion on things than anyone else.

On Wednesday evening, near the end of her time with Emily, she works out that she actually wants to and even enjoys hearing about Chloe's day, when everyone else she would automatically tune out.

Beca's lying in bed on Thursday night, trying to go to sleep, when she adds everything up. In a way she wishes it was some big, dramatic reveal like on those home improvement or makeover shows. But in the end, it's more of a calming sensation. Things make sense.

She's had a slow burning crush on Chloe Beale since the day they met. In the four years they've known each other, it's developed into something more—she won't say she's in love, but there are definitely legitimate feelings—and now?

Now she'll do something about it.

Beca sighs, content, and falls asleep quickly.

-\-

She cuts out of work early, claiming she doesn't feel well and hurries home.

She cleans the apartment, which is relatively easy since it's not a large space. But her work area—set up in what would normally be the dining room, but Chloe insisted she keep her bedroom and work separate because "How are you supposed to relax and properly sleep if your work is literally staring you in the face?"—is a complete disaster, so she takes a little longer straightening up papers and cords and headphones.

Around 4:00, she runs down to the liquor store for a fresh bottle of Chloe's favorite red wine. On her way back, she calls Giovanni's—the best Italian restaurant near their neighborhood—for takeout. They tell her the order will be ready in 40 minutes and will be delivered to her door, piping hot.

She would have cooked, but Chloe's got this ~thing about Beca in the kitchen ever since the Chopped 2013 incident where she may have nearly set the Bella house on fire after watching a marathon of the cooking show. Chloe's been saying she's going to properly teach Beca to cook, but there just hasn't been time.

The food arrives on time and she tips the delivery guy handsomely, then hurries to plate the food with Chloe due home in a few minutes.

She sets the food down on the coffee table and then sits herself on the couch and waits, feeling her heart start to race in anticipation.

-\-

Beca hears Chloe's keychain jingle as she slides and turns her key in the deadbolt.

She tenses on the couch, fists instantly forming, and she tries to calm down.

The door swings open and Chloe walks in with her bag hanging heavily on her right arm and her phone in her right hand and her keys in her left.

"Beca? You're home already?" she calls out and kicks the door shut behind her.

Chloe glances to her right, spotting Beca on the couch.

"Hey!" she greets happily, but then she notices the wine and food on the coffee table.

She sets her things down on the floor and walks over to a visibly nervous Beca.

"I see you took care of dinner," Chloe remarks as she takes a seat, hoping her smile will ease the girl in front of her. "Beca… What's going on?"

Beca's heart is pounding so hard she's pretty sure she's going to throw it up any second. She's so mad because she had this whole big speech planned that was going to blow any declaration from Chloe's favorite rom-coms out of the damn water, but now that it's time to actually do it, and Chloe's right in front of her looking the way she does—flawless and beautiful, as always—Beca's mind goes blank. So she ends up just staring at her awkwardly for a while.

Until she grabs Chloe's face and kisses her. The noise of surprise that emanates from Chloe, plus the fact that she isn't being shoved off and slapped really helps Beca's confidence.

When Chloe pulls her lips away she doesn't go far, resting her forehead against Beca's.

"Finally," she whispers.

She knew Beca could and would piece it together. And while the wait may have sucked, the payoff is so, so worth it.