Our Younger Years

A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence! Ha, bet you guys weren't expecting two chapters in one night! Huzzah! Sorry if it's a little late, I meant to have it before the holidays, but hey what's better than a little belated Christmas cheer? Also, this one's for Setoangel01, my fellow Raphril shipper whom deserves all the love!

Christmas Light Reflections

"Are you sure about this April?"

Raphael tried not to squirm too much as the red-head meticulously arranged his toque, scarf, and coat so that they covered as much of his face as possible. Between them and the mask, it would be hard pressed for anyone to make out any of his abnormal facial features. Too bad his damn body hulked out obviously even underneath the long, black, and heavy winter trench coat April had dug up. "Yes, Raphael. Stop worrying so much; it'll be fine."

He had his doubts about that. With his massive feet shoved into an implausibly large pair of galoshes and the baggy sweatpants he had been forced to wear he was pretty sure he would attract attention. He'd be that guy. The weirdo wandering the suburbs of New York. Great, they would probably get the cops called on them before the night's end.

"Still seems like an awful lot of effort to look at a bunch of stupid lights," Raphael grumbled behind his layers.

April frowned at him, "We've already discussed this to death, Raph."

It's true, they had. Weeks ago, as the first snow began to fall, April had offhandedly commented on how she wanted to see the Christmas lights with him. He had obliged her with a nonchalant, "sure" and quickly forgot the conversation. Little did Raphael know, April apparently had been dead serious about said not insignificant exchange. Over the course of the following weeks, his girlfriend had been secretly planning the perfect light-seeking route. Come the second week of December, she had a tentative plan and with a little assisted reconnaissance from Michelangelo, the final route was confirmed.

The following day marked what would become a saga of heated debating and arguing between Raphael and April over the worth of actually partaking in such an activity. It wasn't that Raphael was against seeing the lights, but he just could not understand why April insisted on them walking through snowy suburbs to do so when driving around in the van would provide the same effect. Not only that, but it would be warm. Sure April had gathered some pretty impressive gear, but it still did not change the fact that Raphael was cold-blooded and would automatically feel fatigued the instant he stepped outside. It happened every year and usually he and his brothers just bunked down in the sewers for the season. Even Master Splinter would cut back on training because his sons simply did not have their normal energy levels.

However, now that April was in their lives, this year had been a little different. Despite their less enthused states, she still visited them regularly trying to brighten their moods. She also expected Raphael to continue to maintain his current schedule of topside apartment visits. Of course Raphael would go through a blizzard to get to her, but he could not deny running across frozen rooftops every other night was more than a little hard on him. His usual zonking out for about an hour upon arriving at April's apartment while his body warmed itself up was proof of that.

Yet despite putting up with their reptilian nature, April had done overall a pretty admirable job of adapting to her friends' annual predicament, but it had been a little different with the whole Christmas lights shtick. Evidently, no force on earth would keep April O'Neil from dragging Raphael's ass out to see those damn lights.

In retrospect, Raphael wondered why he had even given a peep of objection in the first place. Apparently, hell hath no fury like a woman being denied her festive walk through a winter wonderland; another one to put in the books of "I will never understand April O'Neil."

Still, even if he had reconciled defeat, Raphael was never one to bow down gracefully, never mind that he secretly was a little excited himself for this particular adventure. That side of him was treacherous and needed to be kept under lock and key, especially now. He grunted into his scarf, "Just making sure you know my opinion on the matter."

April raised an eyebrow at him, "Pretty sure an elephant would have been more subtle than you've been about this."

"Hmph." Raphael didn't even dare look in the mirror. Seeing the get-up he was in would only sour his mood. He also knew if he saw April's adorable reflection – thoroughly dolled up in her red bomber jacket and navy hat – next to him… He would lose his nerve. Hidden anticipation or not, Raphael had his limits. "Fine. Whatever. You ready to hit the road?"

Bright blue eyes unfalteringly met his, "Do you even have to ask?"

Raphael allowed himself enough leeway to chuckle as April's gloved hand caught his as she pulled him into the hallway, "Guess not."

This had been one of the few times Raphael had even ventured beyond the doorway of April's apartment. He had been in the hallway a couple of times at most, and he definitely had never been in the elevator. Following April into the small compartment he tried not to fidget too much lest he accidently reveal his green-scaled flesh beneath. He wasn't fond of the prospect of potentially being so close to other humans, but with April there beside him lightly squeezing his hand, Raphael figured it wasn't so bad.

That is until they reached the ground floor and the thick metal doors slid open to reveal a little boy and his mother awaiting the lift. Having the kid's eyes widen had not been great. Having the mother's eyes widen as well had been hell. Averting eye contact as best as he could, Raphael strode out essentially leaving April behind. He could literally feel their eyes on him right until the door closed. Hearing the child regain himself before said cut off point had been the fucking icing on the fucking cake, "Momma, what's wrong with that man?"

Then the doors were shut and Raphael was left with a stiffened spine in the middle of the apartment lobby. The only blessing was that no others were in the vicinity at the moment. When April appeared in his center of vision, he only tensed further, "Hey, don't let them ruin your evening, okay?"

Raphael snorted before making his way to the front doors – may as well get this shit show over with, "Right, an evening of that. What could be better?"

"Raph…" April tried again as he pushed open the glass door.

"Forget it April." He ground out, "Let's just get this over with."

Under the street light she tried to catch his eye, but the mutant turtle wasn't having any of it. As far as he was concerned she had made her bed so she could bloody well sleep in it. Purposely, he lengthened his stride to keep her feet clicking quickly beside him just trying to keep up. If the rhythmic little puffs of mist emanating from her mouth weren't a tip off, her panting made it more than obvious that his plan was working. Leave her so focused on keeping up and he could avoid her interrogations. Plus it didn't give any passerby time to take a second look. The moment they suspected something was off, Raphael was out of sight.

So what if he was being a total ass? What else was new?

Finally hitting the first of the many glowing streets to come that evening, Raphael fully attempted to continue his pace as the first strands of lights came within a stone's throw. That plan was quickly derailed when a pair of hands caught hold of his elbow. Taking a second to realize his hitchhiker, Raphael continued for several more feet easily dragging April as her heels failed to gain any sort of grip on the icy cement, "Raphael! Stop!"

It was then when his brain finally realized his arm was sporting an extra sixty-some kilograms that he froze and looked down at her as though surprised to see her gasping on his arm. However, exhausted or not, April found her tongue, "Are you done?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," He huffed while glancing away again.

"Bullshit!" That had his eyes back on her, "We just did a thirty minute walk in less than half the time, and you literally just dragged me a good five feet! So now that we're here all I can say is you better cut the crap."

He hated how she glared at him. He hated the entire situation, "Don't you put the blame on me April! This was your stupid idea!"

"An idea you've fought against every step of the way!" She snapped back.

"Because it's a bad idea!"

"No it's not!"

"I'm sorry," He rumbled, "What part of walking around in the open with your mutant turtle of boyfriend sounds like a good idea? Oh right, none of it!"

"You're wrong, Raphael!" April stood as tall as she could, "Michelangelo and I came three nights ago, and it was fine. Sure he got a few odd looks, but he just shrugged it off. You on the other hand," She gestured angrily, "Have one kid make a dumb comment – like all kids do – and immediately go off your rocker!"

Raphael didn't know what made him angrier, the fact that Michelangelo had already done what he thought would be just a thing between April and him or the fact that his girlfriend completely spurned the validity of his pain from the earlier encounter. Unable to voice his feelings on the latter, Raphael's emotions instead chose to burst forth on the former, "You told me Mike helped you plan the route. You never told me he actually took you!"

"Because I knew you would turn into a jealous jerk about it!" April snapped, "But I also had no other way to prove that it was a good route unless I did a test run first because I knew there was no way I could convince you to come unless I did!"

Raphael clenched his jaw. How the hell would she know? She hadn't even asked him! "It's called asking April. I can't do anything unless you ask."

"Asking?!" April barked out a dark laugh, "There's no point in asking Raph if you know you're going to be shot down."

"Why would you even think that?!"

"Because it's what you always do! It's like pulling teeth to get you out."

"That's because it's fucking winter April and I'm a reptile! You try being energetic when you're cold-blooded. Trust me, it ain't no fucking picnic."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's you."

"Don't you-"

She cut him off, "Don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do Raph. Fuck," She cursed as she tried to compose herself, "Even when you were a normal turtle you weren't that badly affected by winter!"

"Oh and how would you know?" Raphael folded his arms over his plastron, "You a turtle whisperer now too?"

"If you stop being an ass for two seconds and think back you'd know I'm right!"

He broke his gaze away again in frustration. Yeah right. April didn't know anything. His eyes swept over the multi-coloured incandescent bulbs on a nearby hedge. He was the reptile here. Not her. She didn't get a say. Amber irises flicked around again, catching the reflection of said glowing shrubbery in a pool of half-frozen ice. Not like he could remember… Anything… Anyway…

He knew something had to be up. The humans hadn't been around as much the last few days and when they were they always seemed to smell different. It made his snout crinkle, the spicy scents of which he would learn much later to belong to ginger and cinnamon, but not as much as the biting smell the men held on their breath one particular evening when they were much louder than normal. Of course he had no idea what it was. A baby turtle knew nothing of Christmas and he especially knew nothing of Christmas parties and alcohol.

However, it wasn't the first change that intrigued his curiosity – which was saying something because Raphael wasn't all that curious for the most part. He mostly cared about food, needles, and that one girl, but if he could put words to describe what was happening, the little turtle would know over the last few months he was becoming progressively more curious. This newfound wonder he was gradually developing heightened one particular night when the little human appeared.

Except this time she did not bring her customary fruit-based goodies. Instead she had a strange long coiled thing. It looked a little bit like the rat's tail, but this one was far longer. It also had tiny objects attached to it, and if he cocked his head ever-so-slightly at just the right moment, he was sure he could see through them just like he could with the wall around his tank.

For a long while the red-haired human simply fiddled with the coiled thing – it often twisted in her hands and in the back of Raphael's brain he wondered if it was alive? He soon dismissed the idea though. This human never hurt him or the others; she wouldn't start harming this new thing. Besides, it smelt of plastic and copper – scents of things not alive. Eventually, after an indeterminate amount of time, the girl began attaching the long coil to the tops of the tanks. Raphael still was trying to puzzle out the purpose of her actions, when she disappeared for a moment. Then there was a click and the long thing above alit in a multitude of colours.

It only took a split-second for Raphael to retreat into his shell. However, when no hands came to grab him to probe him and abuse him, the tiny turtle slowly dared to glance out. The lights were so bright they seemed fuzzy around the periphery. Yet, despite their luminosity, they did not provide him warmth like the orange light in the corner of his cage did. These ones simply cast his tank into an array of colours. New shadows were formed and his home seemed almost alien, but then he glanced up at the girl perched on the table above and saw her smiling brightly.

He knew what that meant. Flashing their teeth despite what his intuition initially told him did not mean the same thing for the humans, and it especially meant something good when it came to this human. Carefully, he wandered to the barrier of his cage and looked up, and the girl's smile widened further. When she spoke he didn't understand her words, but he knew it was a good thing, "Merry Christmas Raph."

At the noise he tilted his head before returning his gaze to scan his transformed home. Even the area in which he swum was tinged with colour as the rainbow beams reflected softly on the surface, blurring into a cauldron of kaleidoscopic light.

His attention abruptly shot back to the human when he sensed the air shift. Before him, inches from his snout were her pale pink fingers. She did this sometimes. Raphael did not know why. He had come to realize that these giant creatures must have something to gain by handling him regularly, after all that was the only way they could manage to give him their injections. Yet, this female only ever picked him up to feed him. She also did what she was doing now: dangling her fingers in his face. He didn't get it, but as he took note of her silenced breath, he vaguely realized in the transforming depths of his reptilian brain that maybe there was something to it.

It was in that moment that his tiny little turtle brain registered for the first time what had been growing within him for so very long. He was curious and it was not directed at food or the new lights, but the slim appendages of the creature before him.

Slowly, caution still present despite this newfound urge, he took a step closer. He could smell this human's familiar scent of vanilla and strawberries strongly before, but now at this close proximity, it was nearly overwhelming. But it was good. This creature was good. Shifting his weight appropriately he began the next and final step that he knew would put him within touching distance of this being. Yes, he had been in contact with humans many times before, but never solely on his terms. Even when drawn by the girl's offer of food, part of him wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run, but this time was different.

This time he wanted to touch her. He wanted to know what she felt like. He wanted to know more about her.

Fixing his petite stubby legs in place, he stretched out his neck, and slowly, gently, moved his face towards her fingers. Literal millimeters from her finger pads, he took a deep breath before poking her with his snout. Her fingers were warm and surprisingly soft. Why had he never noticed the softness of them before? He took a tiny lick of her fingers. They did not taste heavily of salt as they sometimes did, but he didn't mind. He wasn't looking for salt this time. Seconds later, he was satisfied, and with his curiosity more than appeased he pulled back and angled his head to look up at the hand's owner. Far above, still smiling with her teeth he noted the water droplets clinging to the corners of deep blue eyes.

Suddenly, his tiny terrapin heart ached with something he did not understand, and he wouldn't recognize it until his vision shifted years later as he returned from the realm of memory to the present, leaning on a lamp post for support. Raphael took several deep and rapid breaths trying to slow down his now pounding heart. Well aware of how it continually ached in his chest he turned his amber eyes, widened in shock, in April's direction, "How did you…"

April looked at him searchingly in silence for a moment before answering, "You remember."

It wasn't a question. He rubbed a gloved hand over his face still futilely trying to recover, "I didn't. Not until about thirty seconds ago."

Remaining stock still she murmured, "That was the first time you touched me of your own free will."

Almost ceremoniously Raphael slowly rose his head to meet her eyes. Flaring his nostrils, his memory only strengthened when the light scent of strawberries and vanilla wafted in. His heart pounded harder.

But Raphael wasn't that tiny little turtle anymore and now he understood what it all meant.

Regaining motion of his limbs, his weight shifted just as it did so long ago, except now he balanced miraculously on two legs. One step away and her scent consumed him once more. After a single step he no longer found himself looking up but towering over the girl who he now felt so much more than mere curiosity towards.

Then again, even that tiny turtle so long ago had known somewhere in the developing recesses of its mind that there had been something else there. Back then he had been incapable of processing such a feeling. Back then he had done nothing more than stare. But that was years ago and he was no longer that scared little reptile.

Leaning down, Raphael tipped April's chin up with his glove so that she could find his eyes behind his disguise. Wrapping his spare arm around her shoulders, his blood beat faster as her cheeks bloomed with the most gentle of blushes. Pressing his forehead against hers he murmured, "Merry Christmas to you too April."

Later, as they wandered under the endless multitude of lights, for the first time since that first spark of burgeoning curiosity everything finally made sense. The tiny turtle was gone, but he had found peace under the Christmas bliss with April by his transformed side.

A/N Maybe a bit cheesy but it's an Xmas fic so what do you expect? I have no regrets lol.

This chapter also now marks the end of Our Younger Years. I now have its sequel up, Our Older Years, which is worth checking out if you liked this one.

To my lovely reviewers:

Setoangel01: Sorry it's a tad late hun, but I hope it was worth the wait! Belated Merry Christmas!